AN: Inspired by Plato's Symposium and the Kojiki. Let me know what you think! I'm a sucker for comments.
Shikamaru doesn't stick around for training often, since he's put into groups with other chunin for missions. Still, whenever he does join in for group training, Sakura feels uneasy. After the initial warning, Ino's teammate doesn't make any more moves, but Sakura can feel his eyes assessing her, watching her every movement, every gesture.
But Sakura doesn't have time to worry about slightly murderous, former classmates or awkward team dynamics. Not when she's sitting in front of the person she wants to see the least at the moment.
Click, click.
Click.
Kumohara-sensei slowly puts the ballpoint pen down on his desk and steeples his hands. He looks at her with his dark, dark, eyes.
"Do you know why I've called you to my office?" He asks.
Sakura shifts uncomfortably in her seat, averting her own eyes to escape the doctor's scrutiny. Both sensei and Ino seem to possess the disconcerting ability to discern her soul.
For a brief moment, Sakura wonders what her soul looks like, to them.
Kumohara-sensei regards her before adjusting his tinted spectacles, which thankfully hides his menacing gaze from view. Even so, Sakura shuts her eyes, dreading the words that come next.
"I'm disappointed, Haruno," the doctor says, and Sakura feels the weight of those words like a punch to the gut. "I sent you to the Yamanaka girl to talk, not for the two of you to stir up trouble. Quite frankly, I expected more from you."
"Sorry, sensei," Sakura says quietly, eyes still shut tightly. She hears him click his tongue disapprovingly.
"Look at you, all bark and no bite. Where did that backbone of yours go?"
She chooses not to respond. She hears him exhale.
"It was the Yamanaka girl who started this, wasn't it?"
No. It wasn't Ino. It was all her.
Sakura opens her eyes and meets the doctor's gaze squarely.
"I copied all of the files," she tells him truthfully. "Ino has nothing to do with this, I swear—"
"Then all the more reason to be disappointed with you, Haruno," the doctor interjects coldly. "You can't tell me that you didn't notice anything wrong with the files you copied?" He snorts at the expression on Sakura's face. "While I am disappointed by the fact that you thought it was a good idea to copy confidential patient information," Kumohara-sensei says, stressing the last three words, "I'm far more disappointed in your lack of common sense."
…No wonder most of the files were a mess.
"I thought it was an error on my part," Sakura admits.
The doctor raises an eyebrow.
"What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't protect the privacy of my patients?" He asks rhetorically. "An unlocked cabinet doesn't mean that there aren't other security measures in place."
"Oh. Right."
Kumohara-sensei rolls his eyes. "Children these days," he mutters. "Anyway, since it was your brilliant idea to break into my cabinets, I'll have to come up with a fitting punishment." He stares at her with a calculating look. "…Ah. I know just the thing."
Sakura gulps.
"Kyoko is leaving her position soon. I do need someone to man the reception desk and help me with my daily tasks until I find a suitable replacement."
The doctor smiles, and Sakura shudders, because Kumohara-sensei never smiles.
"You will do it, won't you?"
Sakura, taken aback, stammers. "I have training with Tsunade-sama, and Ino—"
The doctor just stares at her with his bottomless black eyes, and Sakura promptly gives up.
"I'm not getting paid for this, am I?" she sighs.
The doctor merely gives her another tight-lipped smile.
"Off you go, now," he says.
…She'll take that as a no, then.
Just before she is about to exit, however, Sakura pauses in front of the door and turns around.
"Sensei, have you found out anything else about soulmates?" she asks, unable to help herself. She regrets it as soon as the question leaves her mouth.
The doctor gives her an unimpressed look, and Sakura winces.
"I won't go looking for them. I just—it's hard not to want to know who they are when you can taste everything that they're eating."
"I sincerely hope you don't look for them anymore," Kumohara-sensei tells her sharply. "Looking for your soulmate is a futile exercise. You might as well tell the Daimyo's wife to stop raising cats and calling them Tora."
He pauses.
"As for the side effects, they'll go away by themselves, soon enough."
"How would you know?" Sakura grumbles.
The doctor ignores her.
"I expect you to come in tomorrow at 7am sharp," he says absently, already delving into a pile of paperwork on his desk. "Don't be late."
"I've just signed my soul to the devil," Sakura informs Ino as soon as Sakura sees her on the training grounds. Sakura flops down, immediately regretting her decision when her bottom hits the ice-hard soil. It had been a warm, snow-free winter for the most part, but this week, oddly, had seen some sleet and hail. The ground, as a result, was frozen solid. "OWW."
Ino snickers, and Sakura throws her a dirty look.
"It's not my fault if the trees are always this green and leafy," Sakura says defensively, wincing from the pain. "It's hard not to be fooled into thinking that the ground would be soft." Ino just laughs at her.
"Pfft. Excuses," Ino says, wiping the tears from her eyes. "So, who's the devil? Is it Tsunade-sama?"
"Kumohara-sensei," Sakura groans. Ino quickly sobers up.
"He found out, didn't he," Ino says despondently. She looks at Sakura. "Are we done for?"
"I'm working as his temporary receptionist until he finds a better one," Sakura says.
"Oh. What about me?"
"You didn't do anything wrong," Sakura informs her friend. "Don't worry about it. It shouldn't be that bad, anyway."
"Why did it take so long for him to find out? It's been weeks since we stole them," Ino says, frowning.
Sakura shrugs. "I think sensei was waiting for us to own up to our wrongs," she says ruefully. "I mean, he told me that he was more disappointed in me not being able to tell that the patient files I copied had the wrong information than me breaking into his office."
"…Sensei has a few loose screws in his head, doesn't he?" Ino says in a grudgingly admiring tone.
Sakura silently agrees.
"Did he say anything about, you know." Ino casts an eye around their surroundings. Chouji and Shikamaru are a few feet away, watching the clouds pass by. She lowers her voice. "Soulmates?"
Sakura sighs. "He just gave me that 'don't be ridiculous' look and told me not to go looking for them," she tells her friend. "Not that I expected anything."
Ino slumps dejectedly against the tree. "We're never going to make any progress," she moans. "This sucks. I hate my life."
"Sit up, Ino. Slouching is bad for your back," Asuma's deep voice says behind them. Their teacher ambles over, lit cigarette at the edge of his mouth. "What's with the long faces?"
"Kumohara-sensei yelled at Sakura today," Ino says glumly. She makes no movement to correct her posture.
"Do I want to know why?" Asuma says, looking askance at the two of them. "Not that I'm not surprised, truth be told. Kumohara's about as prickly as a Suna cactus. He's just as lovable as one, too."
"Probably not," Sakura sighs. "Unless you can tell us something about soulmates, that is."
"What?" Asuma says, looking confused. His face clears after Sakura tells him about their situation. "Ah, I see." He gives both of them a comforting pat on the head.
"Cheer up, you two. Don't mind Kumohara."
"Why not? He's a good doctor." Ino scrunches her forehead. "We've been going to him for years."
Asuma leisurely flicks the ash off his cigarette. "Kumohara is a good doctor, but he hasn't been the same since the war." He takes a pull at the cigarette and exhales. "But then again, few are."
He looks down at Ino and Sakura. "I am surprised that he's started with the whole soulmate nonsense again, after all these years."
"You think Kumohara-sensei's a liar?" Sakura asks Asuma. Despite the old doctor's acerbic attitude, he didn't strike her as a liar, nor did he seem as if he had any mental issues. When she'd seen him a few minutes ago, the man's dark eyes were bright and sharp, very unlike her own grandfather's rheumy eyes, filmy with age.
Asuma winces.
"I wouldn't call him a liar," he says. "But soulmates are an old wives' tale. They don't exist in real life." When he notices Ino and Sakura's bemused expressions, he raises an eyebrow. "Did your parents not read you bedtime stories when you were younger?"
"…Yes?" Sakura says hesitantly. "But Tou-san's stories are mostly about Uzushio and none of those have anything related to soulmates." She looks over at her friend.
Ino shrugs. "Don't look at me," she says defensively. "All of Daddy's stories had people dying in car crashes or losing their memories."
Their teacher mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "that drama otaku."
Ino looks hopefully at her teacher. "Can you tell us? Please?"
Asuma hesitates. "I'm not the best person to ask," he demurs, scratching his head sheepishly. "It's been a while since I've heard this from my old man."
"Senseiiiiii," Ino wheedles. She elbows Sakura. "Forehead."
"…Fine," Asuma groans, caving in when Ino and Sakura both look at him with puppy-dog eyes. "Stop that, you she-devils."
"Yes!" Ino cheers, giving Sakura a high-five. "Hold up, sensei." Ino cups her hands.
"CHOUJI, SHIKA, GET YOUR LAZY ASSES HERE! SENSEI'S TELLING US A STORY!"
They see the boys reluctantly sit up after they hear Ino's announcement. Chouji is the first one to stand up and amble over to where they are.
Shikamaru lopes in a minute later, yawning into his fist.
Asuma sighs. "Gather up, kiddies," he says, obviously resigned to his fate. He waits until Shikamaru settles down in the shade before beginning his story.
"Once upon a time, long, long ago," Asuma starts. "Before the birth of the Rikudo Sennin, and many, many years before the meteoric rise of the Otsutsuki clan—"
"Wait. Before the Sage of Six Paths?" Chouji interrupts.
"Before the Sage of Six Paths," his teacher agrees patiently.
"That's impossible. Nothing comes before the Sage of Six Paths. He's a literal god." Chouji pops a potato chip into his mouth.
Ino rolls her eyes. "The Sage had a mother, Chouji. How else would he have come into this world?"
"He could have just existed for all of eternity," Chouji argues. "Since he's a god."
"You know who his mother is. It's Kaguya-hime, Chouji! The one from the bedtime stories your mom told us when we were little! You know, the crazy lady on the moon?" Ino says, exasperated.
"We don't actually know if he had a mother. It's just hearsay," Chouji counters.
Shikamaru turns to Asuma just as Ino opens her mouth to bicker. "Sensei, please continue," he says. He glowers at his teammates. "The two of you—shut up."
Ino flares up. "Don't you tell me what to do, you pineapple-headed—"
"Do you want to hear this story or not?" Asuma says sternly. "Because I actually had a lesson planned out for today, believe it or not." That catches Ino's attention, and she immediately quiets down.
"The Otsutsuki were not the first ones to inhabit these lands," Asuma resumes. "The very first were the kami, the spirits that inhabited the trees, the rocks, the streams trickling through craggy slopes, the wind rushing through the weeping willows and the tsunamis that shape the shore, and the goddess Amaterasu ruled over them all.
"For a while, they were content with their lot, and the Earth flourished under their care. When they became restless, Amaterasu created animals to divert their attention. From soft clay and rotting wood, she made the spotted deer, the black bear, the snake that lurks under the bright foliage of the forest floor, for the spirits that dwelt within the rough-hewn rocks and the fertile soil. From her breath, she fashioned the songbird and the dragonfly, iridescent wings gleaming in the sunlight, for the aerial sprites; from her tears, the scaly fish for the kami living under the wine-dark waters.
"But these were not enough, and the kami soon tired of their playthings. Amaterasu racked her head in desperation, fearful of losing her throne. Finally, she came up with an idea.
"She took clay and wood from the bountiful earth to fashion a crude body, shards of obsidian for its eyes and kelp for the hair protecting the soft head, red flower petals for the lips and seashells for the ears. She gathered these, and more. When all of her preparations were done, she breathed life into the clay doll, and that became the first human.
"The kami were pleased with their new plaything and clamored for more dolls. Amaterasu granted their wish, and soon the humans roamed the Earth.
"The humans of old had two heads, two bodies, and four pairs of limbs. One yang body, one yin body; black and white, left and right. There were a few that had two yang sides, or two yin sides, but the kami treasured them no less.
"They were ambitious, strong, and brave. Clever, as well.
"Perhaps a little too clever for their own good.
"When their greed overcame their prudence, they overthrew their kami lords, and took control over the territories the spirits had once overseen: the verdant mountains, the rivers, the golden sands of the arid desert.
"It was only a matter of time before they became dissatisfied and sought to attain higher, loftier goals. It was then that Amaterasu herself became afraid of her own creations, and finally, she heeded the words of her brother Susanoo. She summoned all of the humans to her dwelling in the High Plains of Heaven, and using the sword Susanoo had gifted her, she clove each human into two and drove them out of her palace. In a fit of rage, she placed a curse on them and all of their descendants as a lasting warning.
"Terrified and in pain, the mutilated humans fled as far away from their parent as they could, finally understanding the dreadful consequences of angering a god. They ran for their lives, hobbling on two legs, stopping to rest only when the sky began to grow dark and their vengeful mother retired for the night.
"Only then did the majority of them realize that their other half was nowhere to be found.
"They desperately reached out to their soulmates in the darkness, hands blindly tracing the outlines of the noses, cheekbones and mouths of strangers, but never the features they sought. The sun rose and set, and the humans continued to look for their missing halves.
"When they finally realized that they would never find their other halves in this lifetime, they wept."
Their teacher pauses. When he resumes, his voice is softer.
"We still ache where our souls have been severed, as part of Amaterasu's punishment. But humans are tenacious creatures: our wounds have scabbed over, and time has dulled some of the pain within our souls. We find others who are not our soulmates, whom we cherish and love with all of the half-soul we each have been given. We find love, despite the challenges that come forth, despite our yearning for the impossible."
Ino breaks the long silence that follows.
"…Sensei, you should totally retire and be a storyteller," she tells Asuma seriously.