Chapter 8
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He had done a stupid thing yesterday. He had kissed Rachel and he was angry at himself. He was married, and he had gone and kissed another woman! He never thought he could do it. Break his vows to Darien, but yesterday he had said out loud something he had never said before. He still loved her after all these years, and their kiss had woken some very deep desires in him.
"You told me to go dance with my bride." Mike said when Tom had asked him where had he been at the time, when he was kissing Rachel.
"So I did just that." Mike met Tom's gaze and saw that he felt guilty.
Quickly thinking in his mind:
7. Assign someone to babysit Tom, when you can't.
"I think you need to get a hold of yourself!" Mike started feeling that Tom was making this his fault, but if someone was to blame here, it was Tom.
"You don't see me going around and kissing Andrea." Mike stated firmly. Surprised how he managed to keep the tone in his voice serious since he had been going around and kissed her behind the Captain's back, but there was a clear difference here. Andrea is his wife. Rachel wasn't the woman Tom was married to at the moment.
Mike gave Tom a silent look and left his quarters. Hoping he would be thinking about his actions the night before.
To Mike's surprise the crew seemed to be in great shape, he hadn't heard any mischief nor had he witnessed any improper behavior. So it seemed that the only one who hadn't managed to behave was the Captain himself.
As he walked the P-Way away from the Captain's quarters he noticed the other guilty party approaching.
"You're not going to be seeing him." Mike said to her and she crossed her arms over her chest as she met his firm look.
"This doesn't involve you." She said irritated by the XO's overprotective behavior. They were two grown-up people, but as she thought about it, perhaps Mike's overprotective behavior was justified. However she wasn't going to let him know that he might be right.
"It does. When the Captain of a warship doesn't think straight. It's my duty to get his mind back in line." Mike leaned downwards a little as if he was sharing a secret with her.
"I suggest you go do the same." Mike nodded his head forwards showing her the way she was suppose to go. He watched as she reluctantly turned around and walked back to the way she came from. He smiled to himself as he thought that he had won this round.
8. Assign someone to babysit Rachel.
He sighed. This was going to be a long trip.
Danny woke up to the snoring of Frankie. His mind was replaying the events of the night. He leaned to his elbow as he lifted his body a little. She was gone. He looked around, the telltale signs of a one night stand were all over the cabin. His clothes were lying on the floor and he dug something from under him. A bra. Frankie definitely knew what had been going on in this cabin. So he would be hearing about it when he would wake up. But question is when had she left?
He lied down on the bunk as he was holding her bra. Thinking back to the night. It was probably the best night he had ever experienced. He smiled as he thought of her under him, on top of him and.. Then he heard Frankie waking up and he closed his eyes quickly and hid the bra under the covers.
"I know you're awake." Frankie got down from the top bunk and leaned himself against the wall.
"Come on then. Let's hear it." Danny opened his eyes and moved to sit on the edge of the bunk, covering his waist with the blanket.
"Knock it off. There are rules on this ship." Frankie tried his best imitation of Danny from their first day, and Danny rubbed his hands on his face.
"I gather this is yours?" Frankie then lifted up a women's dress uniform jacket from the floor.
He looked at the jacket and well, what could he say in his defense? Not much. He had done it. Gone cross the line with flying colors. But he didn't regret it.
"Trust me, your secret's safe with me." Frankie then gave him a smug smile and went out of the cabin. Halsey lifted her head a little as she was sleeping on the floor on top Danny's shirt.
Rachel was sitting by her desk in the helo bay. Consumed by her thoughts when she heard the door open and close. She glanced up from her desk and saw Kara with a cup of coffee and a plate with food. It seemed like she was hiding.
"I did something very wrong." Kara said as she seated herself beside Rachel on a chair, placing her plate and cup on the desk. Did something very wrong. Even though it had felt so right in the moment. Feeling him throbbing.. She shook her head briefly, hoping to get the image out of her mind. Almost imagining how she had groaned during their act. And what scared her the most, she found herself hoping it wasn't their last night together.
"You're not the only one." Rachel gave her a knowing look, she too had gone along with something that was very wrong.
"What did you do?" Kara asked and looked at Rachel.
"What did you do?" Rachel repeated the same question staring at Kara.
"I slept with a guy." "I kissed the Captain." They both said at the same time and shared the same look of shock.
"I hope you used birth control." Rachel said and she nodded quickly.
"So you and the Captain..?" She thought to change the subject before Rachel would give her the third degree. So there was something between them.
"Yes, with tongue." Rachel raised her eyebrow a little and they both began smiling. Despite their age difference, here they were discussing about boys like teenagers.
"I hope your guy isn't married." Rachel said.
"No.. He's very much available." She suddenly felt like blushing. Quickly thinking how she wanted to have more of him.
"So how was it?" Kara took a bite of her sandwich and Rachel met her gaze feeling a little embarrassed. Was she really going to discuss about Tom with Kara? But she didn't have anyone else to talk to.
"It was like nothing had changed. Like it had been only yesterday we said our goodbyes." She smiled as she told Kara.
"You know how it is..? The anticipation right before your lips meet.. Then you feel shivers go down your spine, and your knees feel suddenly like jello when he kisses you." Rachel described.
Kara nodded. Remembering that feeling all too well now after her night with Danny.
"Sounds like your smitten." Kara bumped Rachel with her elbow and got a chuckle out of her.
"He's married." Rachel said firmly. Hoping to forget the emotions stirring inside of her.
"How about you? Are you going to meet with your mystery man later?" "If I recall right, he's blond, green eyes.." Rachel smiled at her and she felt like shrinking. She was afraid to meet Danny now. After all she had sneaked out of his cabin without saying a word. And now she was hiding with her aunt Rachel. She was in turmoil as she felt it had been amazing, but at the same time it was forbidden. She had jeopardized her entire career, hers and Danny's.
Andrea looked down a picture of Lily as she sat in the wardroom. Her eyes were tearing a little. It was Lily's birthday today, she was turning 13. This was probably the last birthday she would miss out on. She noticed from the corner of her eye that Rachel walked slowly in, and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"Everything okay?" She heard Rachel ask and she nodded, little surprised that she would make an inquiry about how she was feeling.
"It's my daughters birthday, she's turning 13 today." Andrea told her.
"Is that her in the picture? She's pretty." Rachel said and poured herself a cup of coffee. Still no primordial strain and now she hoped Andrea would get to see her girl again. This is why she hasn't been keen on talking to so many people. The more she knows about them, the harder it gets everyday to keep lying to them. To keep the secret of what's really going on in the world when they are cruising in the Arctic.
"You don't have any kids?" Andrea asked and Rachel shook her head briefly as a response. A reaction that she was accustomed to. Over the years it came easier to just answer the way she did just now, to stop people from asking more: Why are you still single? Why aren't you married? Why don't you have children of your own? She had spend countless of hours wondering about how her life would have been different if she would have been a mother. How would it have been to raise a child? Thinking how there hadn't been many men in her life that she had wanted to start a family with. And now it might be too late.
"You never wanted to?" Andrea gave her a soft look and she thought about what to say. Andrea was clearly not satisfied with her first reaction.
"I guess I haven't been with the right person at the right time." Rachel said.
"Although there's never a right time to have a child." Rachel added and sat beside Andrea, sensing that there was something she wanted to tell her.
"I've been away so much, and after this trip I'll be transferring off. She's going to be a handful as a teenager and she needs stability in her life. Don't get me wrong, she needed it before too, but my late husband Bill was there when I wasn't. And now he isn't around anymore." Andrea told her and she was suddenly experiencing nausea. Feeling her insides twisting as she thought of Andrea having such plans for the future.. Was there a future to go home to? Without the primordial strain, there wasn't a chance to stop the virus from spreading.
Perhaps she should avoid the crowded areas of the ship for the rest of this trip. She was lying to these good people. They didn't know anything of what was going on back home. They didn't get a chance to say goodbye, and she's been in contact with the authorities all this time. The virus back home was now at Phase Three, spreading rapidly as days went by.
She noticed Mike enter to the room and thought it was her cue to leave. She felt Mike's eyes burn through her as she sensed he followed her every move as she exited the room.
"Still nothing?" Mike placed his hands on Andrea's shoulders. Giving her a gentle rub.
"I still think you're off with her. She's just a virologist doing her job." Andrea said and Mike sighed.
"Having a hard time?" Mike asked softly, knowing it was Lily's birthday. Andrea nodded quietly.
"Just think that next year you can throw her a big birthday party, and the years to come." Mike smiled as he thought about their future together. He leaned down and gave a kiss on the top of her head. At the moment he didn't care about the cameras or if Tom himself saw them.
Tom was lying in his bed as he held the bracelet his daughter Ashley had given to him as a deployment gift.
"I think you need to get a hold of yourself!" Hearing Mike's sharp voice in his mind. Reminding him of the fact that he is a married man.
"I'm still in love with you." Hearing his own words echo through his thoughts.
He was still in love with her.. He had never outed his feelings and now that he had, he was thinking what it all meant? Rachel was without a doubt his very first love and he hadn't never dared to admit that to himself. They had only been together for a brief moment, but after he had tried to contact her.. The heartache of her betrayal had been almost unbearable. Now realizing why it had felt like the world's end, after all these years he finally had managed to admit it to himself. He had loved her, he still loved her.
Even though it seemed as he had moved on from her, perhaps he really hadn't done that. He had another serious relationship before Darien, but it hadn't worked out either. And as he thought about his wife, he loved her too. So what was he trying to do? It wasn't like he would return from the Arctic and say to his family that he had found his old love and was leaving his family for her. Assuming of course that Rachel would want him, and there it was again.. Why was the thought of Rachel so empowering? Was it the fact that they really never gave it a try? They never expressed their real feelings to each other. They never got a chance to really be together.
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