Hey guys! I'm really trying my best to capture the feelings and I don't know if I'm doing it good. I hope I am. I'm also more writing this how I think it would happen... So yeah. And I think we might be in the clear. The end is coming up, but I'm surprising myself with writing more. Which is awesome for y'all. Which means there might be a few more chapters! Anywho…

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades book series nor any of its characters.

Chapter Thirteen

Ana's POV

I don't know how many times I've attempted to wake up; I lost count after what seemed like the twentieth time. I just knew I was subconsciously getting tired of it. Every time I was nearing the surface, I began to make out things I was hearing but before I could really tell what was going on, my mind shut off and I fell asleep again. At first it was jumbled up words that were muffled as if I was hearing them through a wall of water. I couldn't open my eyes for some reason but relied on my ears. They weren't too much help. But every time I became aware of my surroundings, new things happened. After a while, I was able to distinguish the muffled words into who was speaking, male or female. And then later, who exactly was saying them. Christian. He was the first person I made out and he was the only one constantly speaking.

I wasn't able to understand what he was saying, or what the rest of the people were saying so I stopped using up a lot of my energy to listen. I just laid there when I was conscious. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't open my eyes.

I vaguely remember waking up for the first time and was actually able to move. I knew I was in a hospital room and it was night time. Christian was there and by the small glance I got, he wasn't doing too well. But that was about as much as I knew. I was safe and my husband was close. But ever since, I wasn't able to do it again. Not that I knew how much time passed.

Time was hard to tell by. I couldn't tell if I had been laying here for hours, for days, months, a year? Nothing gave me clues. Knowing my husband though, he wouldn't leave me side even if it had been years. But, that was before we had our fight. Now, regardless of how long it had been since, I wasn't too sure. Having that thought sent a weird feeling through my still body and it made me feel like I had something heavy inside my chest pushing down. I tried to overcome the thought but there was nothing to get my mind off of it. I was stuck.

Our fight was pretty bad but then the whole Jack thing happened and made it go from bad to a million times worse. What that sick bastard did was beyond words. I felt disgusting and dirty. No, I feel disgusting and dirty. How am I supposed to feel about this whole mess? What am I supposed to do? Not only was I pregnant with Christian's child, which he doesn't want by the way, I now had to deal with another guy having his way with me; raping me, hurting me both physically and mentally, molesting me. I was scarred by not only the wounds I knew I had on my skin, but my mind was as well.

But what about Christian? What was he going to think about with this whole mess? What will he do when he finds out what exactly had happened to me? Will he still want me? I was pregnant and had been raped by my former boss who had been trying to get into my panties from the start. Christian had even warned me about him. How will he love me after everything that has happened? I am a tainted woman now. I am disgusting. I don't belong to just him anymore.

What do I do?

What if he doesn't want me anymore because another man penetrated me? What will happen to us? What about the baby? I don't want Little Blip to grow up fatherless. He doesn't deserve that. Neither of us do. It wasn't my fault what Jack did to me. Will Christian understand that? Will he understand I had no control over it, that I fought against Jack? Will he care?

With those thoughts in mind, waking up didn't seem too promising anymore.

I let myself give in to the sleep that fought at the back of my brain.

XxxxX

The next time I felt my conscious 'wake' up, I still couldn't move. But something was different. I could hear voices and they were clearer than the other times. I could easily make out my husband's voice and one other; female. From their tones of voices, something wasn't right.

"What do .. mean?" Was Christian's voice.

The first one to speak was feminine and sounded a little familiar. "… Still can't… tests… baby."

My insides froze up with the last word spoken. Baby? Is she talking about my blip? Is he okay? Did something happen to him?

"And why not?" Christian sounded angry at this statement.

Was he angry because Little Blip was in trouble? Or was he angry because they can't get the baby out? I vaguely remembered being in a hospital so my husband had to of been talking to a doctor. Maybe Grace? I was hoping for the first choice but then again, I couldn't help but remember how pissed off Christian got when I told him the news of the pregnancy.

My hearing began to falter at the worst time mere minutes after 'waking' up. I wanted to hear what was being said. Was my little blip okay? Is he unharmed? But the more I began to panic the more I was slipping away again. I wanted to know exactly what reason Christian was mad for. It could be anything. Did he care about the baby or was he still the same?

The last thing I heard was the words, "I'm sorry, honey", before everything went black again.

XxxxX

I drifted again but this time was different. I could hear everything being said. It was as if I was awake but my eyes remained closed. I could feel someone touching me. My hand was in theirs. Their warmth was nice and comforting. I could hear them breath softly but it wasn't right. Their breathing wasn't normal but irregular. Like… like they were crying.

"Please, just come back to me, Ana." It was Christian. He was crying. I felt him squeeze my hand. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry about everything. If I hadn't been such a dick, none of this would have happened. This is all my fault."

No, it's not your fault. I screamed at him in my head. I wanted to open my eyes and tell him that scream if it I had to. If this was anyone's fault it was mine. I'm the one who caused all of this. I was the one who left the safety of our home without telling anyone or leaving with Sawyer. This was my fault and mine alone.

Despite my silent protest, he continued.

"Everyone is so worried about you; Kate and Elliot, Mia, my parents, Ray and Carla." If I could frown I would have done so. My mom? She knew? "Everyone is worried sick and won't leave the hospital. My mom had to force them yesterday telling them she would call if there were any change. They wanted to fight since you had woken up once before, but there was no arguing with her." He then gave an emotionless chuckle, "I feel as though I will be forced home next."

He sniffled once and then I felt him put his lips on my forehead. He lingered there for a second before whispering, "I just want you to come back to me, Ana. I want you and the baby to come out of this. Alive and healthy. Please, baby. I love you."

The baby? Did he just mention the baby? Hope swelled in my chest. He wants us both to come out alive and healthy. Oh my. That means… He wants little blip. He wants the baby!

As easy as it had come, I felt the feeling arise again. And this time, I fell into unconsciousness with ease. How could I not? Christian just declared his want for the baby.

XxxxX

Until next time!

Sorry it was a short chapter but I like ending it this way.