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Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades book series nor any of its characters.

Chapter Fourteen

Ana's POV

Waking up in the morning used to be so hard and annoying. Having to get out of bed and leave the warm cocoon you prepared during the night just to get ready for work. However, today was not one of those days.

My eyes fluttered opened tiredly and it took a few seconds for them to adjust to the light being displayed in my hospital room. A natural sunlight filled my room from the opened window to my right and I tilted my head some to get a better view. Judging by where the sun was in the sky, I estimated the time to be around noon.

I ignored the dull ache from my body and turned away from the window. I knew where I was. I knew I was safe. I remember being rescued and seeing Christian when I woke up the first time. Even when Christian said he wanted the baby to make it. Hope swelled in my chest at the thought and I felt tears pinprick my eyes. They didn't fall but blurred my vision. My husband, who was furious to find out I was pregnant, has now declared his want for the baby.

A slight squeeze to my hand caused me to turn my head in the direction. I smile at the sight of seeing my husband's head on my bed and his hand clutching mine in his sleep. Gently, I take my hand out of his and caress his hair and brush some stay hair out of his eyes. He didn't stir in the slightest.

My eyes are distracted from the heart rate monitor that was wrapped around my finger and my hand stopped moving. Almost doing a one-eighty, my emotions turned on me. All happiness drained from my body and fear crept back in. Memories flood back into me. Traveling a few inches up, I could see the bandages wrapped around my wrists, both of them and the pain that radiated from them when I slightly moved them.

With the motion coming to a still, Christian opened his eyes and lifted his head. His sleep deprived eyes scanned the room and as soon as they fell on my terrified ones, all sleep vanished and his eyes were alert. My hand fell off of him and in no time at all, Christian's firm and rough hand was in mine.

"Ana?" He spoke softly and hesitant as if I was a frightened bunny corned by the predator.

The words came out rushed and slurred but easily recognizable. "I'm sorry." Tears blurred my vision once more and my heart rate accelerated some. Christian frowned but before he could open his mouth, I began to rant, "C-Christian, I'm so sorry. I-I.. It .. it wasn't my fault." My eyes dropped from his and I stared at my wrists again. "Well, it w-was but I sh-shouldn't have… I shouldn't have left and Jack… he found me.. I'm sorry. I tri- I tried to get him to.. to stop." Tears were pouring down my face now and I kept my face hidden; embarrassed by the events that happened. I couldn't face him anymore. My eyes were squeezed shut and my body began to shake on its own. Christian tired again to speak, to comfort me but I cut him off again without trying, "He did things. And.. and I c-couldn't stop .. him. I-I-I tried but.. nothing…" My voice trailed off and I felt my head start to pound as well as my side. It felt as though it was on fire and it burned. I couldn't hear anything as I zoned out, praying that I wasn't just in some dream and wouldn't wake up in that room in a chair, bound tightly to it.

Normal POV

Christian's heart was breaking into a million of pieces as he watched his wife break down in front of him. Some of her words were too mumbled but for the most part he understood what she was saying. He quickly stood up and laid down on the bed and took her in his arms even though it was a bit awkward. He wanted to pick her up but he knew of her injuries and didn't want to aggravate them. So he laid with her and did his best to hide her face in the crook of his neck and petted her hair.

"Shh, Ana. It's alright." He whispered to her and kissed the top of her hair when she fell silent. "I'm here for you." He knew she couldn't hear him but he continued to talk to her, hoping she would get out of the trance she was in or fall asleep again. He wanted her awake so badly, but if she wasn't up for it, sleep would be best. Selfish or not, he didn't want to see her like this. So he held her.

"I didn't wa-want it," she mumbled into his chest, "I didn't want to be there… I don't want to go back."

"You're not going to, Anastasia." Christian nearly growled. He felt her curl her hands into his shirt but he didn't care. His hold on her tightened and he kissed the top of her head. "I'm not letting you out of my sight again." He closed his eyes and felt his own tears form.

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A little while later, Ana's breathing began to even out. He held her for a few more seconds before slowly releasing her. He tried to stand up to sit back on the chair, thinking she had fallen asleep when her voice piped up. "Don't leave… me…"

Christian looked down and saw his wife starring up at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She looked so small. So fragile. He sat back down on the bed and took her hand. "Never." He whispered and pressed her knuckles to his lips and gave her light kisses.

A few minutes passed by with a tense silence. Neither one wanted to break it. Ana's eyes stared lifelessly at the wall behind him and Christian stared at his wife, worried about her.

"I'm sorry," Ana's small voice finally cut through the silence and Christian frowned. Ana wasn't looking at him and instead her eyes were now fixed on their conjoined hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Christian said.

Ana continued, acting as though he never said anything. She was calm though still shaky. "I'm sorry for leaving and not… not telling you. I'm sorry." Tears filled her eyes once again.

Knowing where this was going, Christian took his hand out of Ana's and he could have sworn he saw her flinch. He placed his hand under Ana's chin and lifted her head up and turned her to face him. At first, her eyes remained glued to her empty hand on the bed but after a few seconds, they lifted and found his. "You have nothing to apologize for." He said and recognized the hint of anger in his voice. Ana did too and when she tried to lower her gaze, he tightened his grip on her chin. "This isn't your fault, Anastasia and it never will be. How were you to know Jack Hyde had been bailed out of jail in the first place and was stalking you?"

"I shouldn't have left…" She whispered as if it was her fault.

"No,you shouldn't have." Christian agreed but he continued on without scolding her, "But I… I shouldn't have reacted the way I did." Ana looked to him and instead of looking away, he met her eyes and didn't try to hide the shame. "I shouldn't have exploded when you told me about the baby. And I shouldn't have blamed you for getting pregnant on purpose. But because I did, look where we are and…" He didn't finish his sentence as his eyes began to well up with tears.

Ana remained quiet, afraid to say anything. She waited for her husband to continue, to say something, but he didn't. It almost felt like there was an elephant in the room and Christian knew exactly what elephant it was. How was she supposed to go about it? How are you supposed to tell you husband that you were tainted by another man? What was his reaction going to be? Was he going to be disgusted with her? Was he going to reject her and the baby? … The baby!

Ana's heart nearly skipped a beat and she tensed. Christian sensed the change and opened his mouth to speak but Ana beat him to it.

"Christian…" Ana brought her eyes up to her husband and one of her hands came to a rest on her stomach. "Christian… What about the baby?" Tears welled up in her eyes, scared to get an answer.

Christian's eyes widened and then they softened. He laid a hand on her stomach before saying, "For a while, we were all scared you had lost the baby." He said before looking down at his wife's stomach. "The doctors couldn't see anything during an ultrasound after your surgery," Ana's heart nearly stopped, "but they did another one yesterday while you were still asleep and low and behold…" He used his free hand and reached over to the table behind him and grabbed a paper off of it. He handed it to his wife and said, "The baby is just fine."

Ana held the paper—picture in her hand. It was a picture of the ultrasound and because of her meeting with Dr. Greene, she knew what to look for. She saw the little dot on the picture. Her little blip… He was okay.

As if reading her mind, Christian spoke again, "The doctors were nervous because of the gunshot wound on your side but other than that, there was no other abdominal trauma that would preclude a miscarriage. That's why they did another ultrasound." He was watching her now, waiting for her reaction. When she didn't speak, he then brought up the elephant, "I even asked the doctors to make sure it was our baby and not… his."

Ana's head snapped up and her eyes found his. "You know?" She whispered. She knew it wasn't much of a secret, but hearing it from him made it real. Her heart rate picked up a little and her stomach was twisting itself into painful knots. The wound on her side began to burn a little and her head pounded. Her eyes dropped from his, shame filling her to the brim. She couldn't stop the shaking that started up.

Christian removed his hand from her stomach and it formed a fist. Trying to be careful, he laid his wife down on the bed and proceeded to stand up. He missed the look of fear that passed through Ana's eyes as he looked away. He ran both of his hands through his hair in aggravation.

Ana forced herself into a sitting position, despite feeling sore and in pain. She held onto the picture but her other hand was cradling her side, the wound burning from the movement. Her eyes blurred but she did her best not to cry. With her eyes trained on him, she prepared herself for the worst. She was tainted now and no longer just his. She was used and then tossed away like she was trash. Maybe she was…

Suddenly, Christian turned and looked back at his wife. He took her appearance in: the bruise on both of her cheeks, little cuts littering all over her body, the bandages on both of her wrists, her empty eyes… It was all too much. And he nearly exploded.

"I want to kill him, Ana." He practically seethed. He saw her wince. "He did all of these things to you… horrible things to you." His hands curled into fists by his sides. "When I saw him getting out of the ambulance I wanted to kill him, to beat him-,"

"The ambulance?" Confusion filled her eyes and a little v formed when she frowned. Then it dawned on her. "He's here?" She squeaked and her eyes doubled. Her big blue eyes looked terrified and her eyes darted to the door.

Christian sensed her distressed and quickly told her, "He can't get to you, Ana; he's on a different floor surrounded by the police. He's handcuffed to a bed and has 24/7 surveillance on him. Ryan and Clay are there as well."

Ana looked slightly convinced and her eyes stayed glued to the door, scared that Jack somehow got free and got the slip from the cops and that he was on his way here.

"I'm not going to let him touch you," Christian growled and Ana's eyes flickered over to his. "Not again. I'm not going to let you out of my sight." And then his anger was directed at her. He threw his hands into the air to show his frustration. "See? This is why I always have security with you, Ana. For things like this!" Ana's eyes widen and she flinched from his anger. He ran his hands through his hair and proceeded to glare at the wall when he said, "If you had been with Sawyer, none of this would have happened. Jack Hyde wouldn't have found you nor would he have kidnapped you. If you had just listened to me, then Jack wouldn't have gotten his hands on you and raped you!"

Ana gasped and her trembling started back up. Her tears pooled into her eyes and they fell freely down her face. "I-I'm sorry..." It was happening all over again. Her eyes dropped and she stared down at her hands. "I'm sorry, Christian." It's all her fault.

"You're sorry…? YOU'RE SORRY?" Christian practically yelled. But then something happened. Ana missed the tears falling down her husband's face as well. She missed him stagger backwards until his back hit the wall and then he practically fell down. "You shouldn't be sorry, Ana." As he said her name, she looked up and her heart continued to break but now because of what she was seeing. "If I hadn't… If I hadn't been such a dick, if I hadn't of walked out on you, none of this would have happened."

Christian rested his head on the wall and stared up at the ceiling. His tears continued to flow and he did nothing to wipe them away. "If I hadn't said those things… You would be okay and you would be safe. You wouldn't… You wouldn't have…" He choked on his words and Ana watched him stutter to say more but nothing came out. Except for, "I'm so sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry."

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Until next time!

Let me know how I did on this chapter. I had to reread my own story because I took forever to update and I forgot what emotions I was dealing with. So let me know if I had missed anything. Thank you!