Chapter 32

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Darkness..

Everything was pitch black in her mind even though the wall she was staring was white. She heard the footsteps of a friend but she kept facing the wall.

"Hei baby girl."

"I brought you something to read." She heard Carlton's voice and noticed from the corner of her eye that he placed a few magazines on top of a stack of previous ones.

Then she heard him pull a chair beside the bunk, and he started talking, like nothing had happened.

"Guess where I was today?"

After a moment of silence on her part, he continued on.

"Yep. The White House. Haven't been there since my sixth grade field trip." Carlton's voice was light with a touch of humor, the kind that usually would bring a smile on her face. It almost worked. Almost..

After Carlton left she closed her eyes and hoped to erase everything that had happened. It was a moment later when she felt the Master Chief's gaze burning on her and she could hear the Captain's voice along with Jeter's. Probably discussing about her, but it didn't matter as she continued to face the familiar wall in front of her.

"Lieutenant Green!" Mason rushed behind both Kara and Danny on the P-Way, raising a reaction from both of them as they turned to see the younger man.

"Yes?"

"What's up Mason?" Kara asked and saw that he was slightly amused by the fact that both of she and Danny were watching him and waiting for a reply.

"We could use your expertise on the encryption process of the hard drives Green's team collected from the White House." Mason explained, clearly facing Kara.

"Yeah, I'm guessing I'm not needed.." Danny chuckled and Kara shared a look with him, knowing that he was more into destroying things than actually looking at a screen with numbers and letters and waiting for it to give something in return.

"I'll catch up with you later." Kara said to Danny before leaving with Mason.

"I thought Kirkland was the TAO?" Kara raised her eyebrow slightly as she followed Mason to the CIC.

"He is, but since you've got experience on these type of assignments, he thought it would be good to have extra set of hands. I can do some of it myself." Mason stated.

"Okay, let's see what we got." Kara said as they reached the doorway to the CIC.

Rachel entered to the sick bay, glancing at Alisha, she sighed as she wondered when and if she would open up to someone. Trying to block everyone out was not a good idea, but perhaps it was only time she required.

"Hello Alisha." Rachel stepped closer to the bunk she was resting on. This time she got a recognition of sorts when Alisha nodded her head briefly to her.

"Doc Rios asked me to check the wound, and see if it's healing properly." Rachel put on examination gloves and decided it was best to keep things professional, Alisha would talk when she was ready.

"The wound looks to be healing nicely." Rachel stated as she took of the bandage and replaced it with a new one.

Hesitating for a moment, she sat on the chair beside Alisha's bunk and took of the gloves, discarding them along with the old bandage to the trash can by the door.

"I know you're having a hard time thinking about everything that went down in Baltimore, what your mother did there. I want you to know, you can talk to me.. Anytime." Rachel looked at Alisha but her eyes were firmly on her hands.

Rachel got up and was on her way out when she heard a low "Thank you." Glancing back she met Alisha's gaze for a brief moment before the girl was facing the wall again. It pained her to see her all alone with her thoughts, but she wasn't alone, that she was sure of.

She took her leave from the sick bay and managed to bump into someone on the narrow P-Way.

Feeling his touch warm through her thin sweater she balanced herself before someone would see them and would start to talk. Last thing they needed was rumors of her and the Captain going around, especially when his family, his children were on board the ship. The loss of their mother, his wife, still fresh on their minds.

"Sorry, I..." Rachel tried to gather her thoughts but she couldn't help but feel weak in his arms. Why did he have to be so charm.. strong. She corrected herself before she was letting her imagination run wild. Still remembering that night from a few days ago.

"How is she doing?" Tom looked at her and she managed to pull herself together in his presence.

"Well the wound is healing nicely, but she needs more time." Rachel concluded and placed her arms across her chest.

"You got a minute? We got some intel from the hard drives and thought you could give us some answers." Tom continued and she noticed he was being rather calm when she was mostly feeling nervous around him these days. Smiling inwardly how was it that he could still make her knees melt and cause butterflies in her stomach?

She followed Tom to the meeting and they looked over a map on the table.

"Hottest zones are the coasts." Mike said as he hovered over the table.

"Makes sense. They are the most densely populated areas." Rachel said, knowing what her words meant for several people in this room. Norfolk was on the coast.

"How about Norfolk?" Tom asked and noticed Kara sitting beside Kirkland, the new TAO he had appointed. Still unsure if his choice was a good one, but they were short on people.

"Zooming in." Kirkland said as he cleared his throat.

"70% infection rate." Rachel said and from the corner of her eye she noticed Mike share a look of desperation with the Master Chief. The news weren't good.

"When is this dated from?" Lieutenant Commander Garnett asked the obvious question on their minds.

"Nine weeks ago." Kara stated and for a moment she could feel the tension in the room rise as everyone thought what it would mean.

"Do you see any trends based on those days?" Tom asked, standing beside Rachel as she looked over the map again.

"At first glance, no. I'll do a full analysis. I should be able to extrapolate from the size of the cities and the date of impact, how fast it's moving and what the situation might be now." She said and looked around the room.

"We also found a file labeled the secnav. It's a video file dated September 9th. We haven't reviewed it yet." Kirkland said with a slight unsureness in his voice, which Tom thought was perfectly justified, he hadn't been used to being in charge before, but he would have to up his game to fill the shoes left by the previous TAO.

"Play it please." Tom nodded and on the screen in front of them suddenly appeared a man.

"It's the Secretary of the Navy." Mike said and everyone was tuned in to see what this was about.

"Is this on? Can I start now?" The man on the screen began telling them about the mission for the cure, and how by viewing this video they had now become a part of a new network who has been tasked to produce and distribute the vaccine, in case a cure was ever to be discovered.

"No ones decoded this yet?" Tom looked towards Kirkland, who was startled by the new knowledge that there was codes embedded within the drive that contained the video.

"No, sir. We didn't know those encryptions existed until just now." Kirkland said.

"Find me those labs. Do it quickly." Tom stated and rested his gaze on Kara, who seemed to help Kirkland to start the job.

Kara stood by the railing as she watched the familiar shorelines come closer. They were finally coming home. She was finally coming home after all this time, but for how long? The uneasy feeling in her stomach was keeping her appetite away, or it was the fact that she was feeling nauseous most of the day, not just in the morning.

Remembering back to a conversation with her mother a few days back, she smiled. Hearing her scientist voice tell her that just because it's called morning sickness, doesn't mean it comes only during the morning. And she did get a understanding hug from her mother as she told her she had been throwing up the whole time she was pregnant with her. It was a strange thought to think that she had been the one to carry her for nine months and not Debbie, the mother she grew up to know.

It took a while for Kara to come from her thoughts as she heard someone clear their throat behind her. Turning around she saw her father.

"Sir." She saluted as was proper.

"Lieutenant." He acknowledged her with a smile lurking on his lips, as if they shared a secret.

"With everything that's been going on, we haven't discussed.." He started, confident he could be the ship's Captain and her father at the same time.

"My condition. I know, sir."

Taking a moment before continuing, he let his eyes wander to his feet briefly before he composed himself.

"Obviously with your condition, you can't be on the field. Which is why I want you to help Dr. Scott in planning the mass production of the cure and working as a coordinator with the laboratories to keep us informed of their progress."

"Sir.."

"And I think it's reasonable that you cover the training sessions as long as you can, gives some slack to the guys, not that they need it, but since we are short on people." As she heard his words, the memories of the bloodbath back in Baltimore weren't forgotten, glancing nervously towards home, was it safe there? What if it was Baltimore all over again?

"Thank you, sir." She managed to say, greatful that he wasn't going to kick her out of the ship when they reached Norfolk. She wasn't ready to abandon the mission, not yet at least.

"Sir.. Dad..?" The words coming out of her mouth made her feel strange, the first time she called this man her father, but at the same time it felt right.

Surprised to hear her call him by that name, he turned around but she had moved to hug him despite of them being out in the open. He held her in his arms and gave a light kiss on the top of her head. She may be all grownup already but somehow in the moment she felt like she was that little girl he has seen in the pictures.

"Here have some water." Andrea helped Alisha to drink some, not that she wasn't capable of doing it herself, but she sensed Andrea needed this. She needed to keep her mind occupied. They were approaching Norfolk, and it meant she would soon discover if her family was still alive. And perhaps, even though the thought was scary, she needed this, to be looked after with motherly love once more, to feel like that young girl she once was.

But this time she could really see the trembling in Andrea's hands and she reached to touch Andrea's wrist gently, to give her the comfort she needed. And here she was moping around about her mother and what she had done, when everyone else was a nervous wreck about finding their families.

"I hope you find them." Alisha said as she met Andrea's eyes, and not trying to hide the fact that she was nervous, Andrea let out a sigh.

"The coasts are the hottest zones." She said as she placed the glass of water on the table beside the bunk.

"You heard the radio calls, you heard the survivors. There are safe zones, there are survivors." Alisha said with a voice of confidence, surprised that she had it in her.

Andrea nodded and held Alisha's hand.

"Whenever you're ready, we're here for you."

Alisha gave a weak smile and watched as Andrea left the sick bay. Her gaze lingered on the door for a moment, she wasn't ready to leave this room, not yet.

"Tex has Bacon training everyday." Kara said and sat on the foot end of Alisha's bunk.

"Twenty pounds in twenty days. That's what the XO said." Ravit mimicked Tex's voice as best as she could and the two women thought they saw a slight grin come on Alisha's face for a moment.

"Everyone is moving on." Alisha started as she stared blankly at her hands.

"What am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to keep moving on, when.." She began to talk but couldn't find the words to continue.

"No one blames you, okay?" Kara tried to reach for her hand but she pulled back. It was too soon. After what her mother had planned to do, she wasn't ready to face Kara yet.

"You can't stay here forever either. Everyone is moving on, because if we all would sit down to think about our families and what might have happened to them, I think this mission would have been a bust a long time ago. I know it's not the same with you, after everything your mother did, but you can't let that stop you." Ravit said as she met Alisha's eyes.

"We are all fighting for something, whether it is for the human race or for our families, we all have something to fight for." Ravit stated and Alisha nodded, deep in thought. Moment later she said she needed to rest. Both Ravit and Kara stepped out of the sick bay and Kara looked at Ravit.

"That was nicely said."

"Well, the pandemic has given a new way to think and see things, things that do matter in the end, and most of all, the people that matter." Ravit smiled at Kara and she smiled back.

Letting out a sigh, Kara just hoped Alisha would see that too. That she didn't have to be alone. She wasn't alone.

Rachel stepped to the deck of the James where the preparations for the land teams were on-going. They had arrived to Norfolk with thoughts all scrambled, wondering, fearing for the worst, that it was like Baltimore. But Norfolk turned out to be different, and they were happy to see that the word had got out that they were in need of pilots and planes, to carry the cure and the doctors to the laboratories they had only discovered not so long ago.

Rachel breathed in the air and she spotted Andrea checking her gear. Looking nervous. She turned to walk her way and slowly reached her side as she tightened her vest.

"You doing okay?" Rachel voiced herself and met Andrea's gaze.

"I don't think I'll be okay before I know." Andrea said nervously, the look on her face was filled with worry. Today she would find out about her family.

Rachel was about to speak but Mike came over and Andrea seemed to be waiting for some news from him.

"The SEALs didn't recognize any of the names on the list." Mike said with hesitation, knowing what it meant.

Andrea simply nodded faintly, trying to hold back tears.

"It doesn't mean anything, okay?" Mike reached to hold Andrea's hand.

"I just want to wish you both good luck." Rachel said softly, stepping slightly back from the two. Both Mike and Andrea gave her a light nod.

"I can come with you." Mike said and Andrea met his eyes.

"No."

"You got to find your girls. And Christine." Andrea gathered herself and gave a reassuring squeeze to Mike's hand.

"You three ready?" Tom's voice broke the conversation and Rachel glanced at him briefly.

"I think they need a minute or two." Rachel nodded towards Mike and Andrea as she gestured Tom to the side.

"It's strange to be back." Rachel said as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the Navy base.

"How so?" She felt Tom's eyes on her, waiting for her to explain.

"I wasn't sure how this mission would end, it's a miracle I found what I was looking for in the Arctic. That I managed to create the cure."

"And I never thought I would run into you again, of all the places." Rachel said.

"It certainly was a shock to see you again. Claire." Tom stated and Rachel heard the slight amused tone when he said her fake name, although she suspected it wasn't easy for him to think about the past, even if their memories together had been good. They waited in silence until Mike joined them to proceed on with the plans to start spreading the cure.

Tom stood in front of the hangar and watched as the aircrafts took off one by one. Spreading the cure, starting the real fight against the Red Flu. This was the beginning.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he glanced briefly over his shoulder and saw Rachel coming to stand beside him.

Sighing deeply as he was thinking about it all. Going back a few nights as he had sat on her bunk.

"I don't know who I should blame. I'm hurt, angry, disappointed, sad.. Everything at the same time." He remembered staring at the wall and hearing her voice from beside him.

"Everyone's been through so much already, the pandemic has changed people, the world."

Stopping the endless what if's going through his mind, he thought over her words - A lot had changed, but he had managed to keep everything from falling apart, well almost.. His crew had endured so much under his command, but he still had their respect. But in the end, after Baltimore, he had to wonder, how could he keep the world from falling apart? - He had lost his wife. His own father had betrayed him. And Rachel..

At the moment he had been in the darkest corners of his mind - Yet now there was hope as he watched the last few aircrafts fly out of sight.

"What happens now?" He heard her voice and turned to face her, feeling this warmness inside of him as he looked at her - but as quickly as he allowed the warm feeling to come, it vanished as he remembered his wife's passing.

"The Biosafety level 4 lab on base was moved somewhere, so the Nathan James will be leaving shortly on its way towards Florida." Tom said.

"And you?" Rachel hesitated as she met his piercing gaze.

"The main thing is, that they're with you now. That's what makes them feel safe." Kelly's words from a conversation before were on his mind as he thought about what was the right thing to do.

"I don't know." Tom said and saw a flicker of uneasiness on Rachel's face. Knowing exactly what she was thinking.

She was lying on the narrow bunk, feeling not just the warmth of the clothes she was wearing, but warmth of someone surrounding her as she opened her eyes. His familiar scent made her smile for a moment, for a moment things were like they had been all those years ago. Turning slightly she saw he was still asleep, his arm loosely around her waist.

Her heart ached as she thought what he was going through right now, no wonder he felt hurt, she had betrayed him all those years ago, his own father had lied to him for years, and now he had lost his wife. But even though she was partly to blame of the heartache he was going through, a sense of comfort came over her as she thought that he had come to her last night.

It felt like a dream as he woke up, for a moment he wasn't sure where he was, but as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo from her hair, he remembered. For a moment his aching heart was healed, for a moment he thought he had gone back to the summer they had had together.

But as he felt his uniform around his body, he knew they were here and now. In a world where the Red Flu had rampaged, taken away loved ones, taken away his wife. He remembered that things weren't as easy as he would like them to be.

"Everyone's looking for their families." Alisha said as she briefly met the Master Chief's studying gaze.

"I guess I'm lucky. I already found mine." She let out and felt the sting of her mother's betrayal open the wounds she had been trying to heal.

"And now she's gone, and all that's left is what she became." She added, still unable to fathom what she had done.

"This situation brings out the worst in people, but it also brings out the best." Master Chief's words hit her - The worst in people. That she had seen with her very own eyes, in Gitmo and with the Russians, heard from the story of Nicaragua, but never in a million years did she think that her own mother could be one of them.

"Part of me wanted to just stay in Baltimore, try to help repair that place. But how could I, after what she did there?" She stared at the wall again, unwilling to meet the Master Chief's eyes. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, trying to help her move on.

"Your place is here, with your shipmates."

"After what my mother did.. I can't face them yet. I just can't." She desperately let out as she thought about walking amongst her fellow shipmates, wondering about the looks she would get. No, she needed more time.

"No one here blames you."

"I know you're suppose to say that, but we walked into that mess because the Captain put his faith in me." Alisha stated. Still trying to think back if there had been any sign to warn her about her mother's intentions. Perhaps her being transferred to the James should have been a wake up call, but then again, she only thought her mother had done it out of love, just like Rachel had done with Kara. But love had nothing to do with it, she thought as her hand found the wound on her side, feeling hurt that her own mother was the cause of her pain.

"And no one's harder on himself than the Captain right now. It's not just on you, you know." Master Chief added and she watched as he bid her farewell for the time being and she sat there alone, thinking the past few days..

About Carlton's visit after he had been in the White House - Nothing in his demeanor was telling her that he blamed her. Then there was Rachel, trying to reach out to her, wanting her to know she had someone to talk to. Andrea's motherly care had made her feel warm inside, reminding her of the good in people. Then there was Ravit and Kara, still being there for her, still being her friends, even after everything, even when she had a hard time facing Kara.

Turning herself towards the white wall again, she sighed as she realized how lucky she still was. She might have lost the only blood relative she had, but she had gained a new family. They all had.