A/N: Thanks for the reviews/followers/favourites so far! It means a lot! Also I am very sorry...
Alec heard the front door close, gave it a few seconds and then poked his head out into the hallway to see if he could hear any noise. The only noise he could hear was Max's soft breathing from the bed behind him so he crept out so as not to wake Max and went downstairs. He walked immediately over to the fridge to retrieve the pretty much empty bottle of white wine and finished it straight from the bottle.
Just as he put the now completely empty bottle down Izzy walked in. He pivoted quickly on his heel to check that it somehow wasn't Magnus managing to get back in which made him lose his balance quite easily, given his current state. He stumbled back against the kitchen worktop and bashed his head on the handle to the overhead cupboard. Izzy saw this, clacked over to him in her high heels, and said "Wow, I've not seen you like this in a while". At this Alec let the tears he'd been holding in roll down his cheeks. Izzy immediately circled her arms around him, leaning her head against his chest and asked what was wrong. Alec cleared his throat and took a deep breath determined to partially compose himself so he could at least try to be convincing when he told Izzy he'd just hit his head and it hurt. Izzy took a step back at this and really looked at him, giving him a thorough check over.
"Yea, yea, sure. I haven't seen you cry with pain since I was five. Now what's really going on? Did something happen on your date?" Izzy pried. Alec really didn't want to talk about it. He didn't think he could without having a proper breakdown. So he just shrugged, wiped the tears from his face and proceeded to get a spoon from the drawer and dig into the lasagne. Hopefully if he had some more food his hangover wouldn't be so bad tomorrow. He could drink a few beers no problem but a few glasses of wine always went to his head.
By this point Alec had turned his back to Izzy and she could tell he wasn't going to open up to her. Perhaps she'd try again tomorrow. She did want to do something for him though, and if her inkling as to why Alec was upset was correct then taking Max to Daycare tomorrow would be a great help to Alec. "Do you want me to take Max to Daycare in the morning? I don't have class until 10.30, so I won't have to leave til around 9.30." Izzy offered.
"Mmm, yea.., yes please. I am going to be so hungover... I don't know if I can face getting up that early." Alec replied through a mouthful of lasagne. Izzy gave Alec's shoulder a squeeze, said a quick goodnight and then strode off towards the stairs. She knew the hangover wasn't the only reason Alec didn't want to take Max to Daycare but she wasn't going to get it out of him at that moment in time.
Alec polished off the lasagne, trudged up the stairs, threw his clothes on the floor in his en-suite and looked at himself in the mirror. Why had he forced himself on Magnus? He wasn't ready for that yet, his parents had only just died and his life changed drastically because of it. Besides he had the little guy asleep on his bed to think about. Magnus was a really nice guy but he just wasn't ready to take that step yet. Magnus probably thought less than of him now too. Who gets drunk and throws themselves at people? He didn't even have the balls to talk to him after.
Alec washed his face, grabbed a t-shirt from on top of his dresser to wear in bed and got in, trying to avoid waking up Max. He didn't quite achieve this though and Max whimpered slightly. Alec rubbed his tummy a few times, one of the best ways to settle him and Max snuggled into Alec's side. It took Alec a while to get to sleep that night, but the wine certainly helped and the warmth of his little brother next to him was a great comfort too.
XxX
It was 11am before Alec woke, he must have been in the depths of sleep not to have been woken up when Izzy came to get Max. He opened his eyes slowly, taking a glance around to check his surroundings and took stock of how he felt. His head was pounding, he had a really dry mouth and he generally felt shit about himself. What a great way to wake up.
He only had a 1 - 5 shift today so he knew he had time to shower and hopefully feel slightly better before he had to face work. At least the smell of coffee would wake him up. By the time he got to work he did feel more human and set about serving customers. Luckily Clary wasn't here or she would have noticed his melancholy mood and questioned him until he gave in.
His shift went pretty quickly and then he braced himself for Daycare pick up. Hopefully Magnus would be working late again and his mum would be picking Finn up. He wanted to avoid him if at all possible. The good luck fairy was on Alec's side and Magnus' mum did pick Finn up again. Max and Finn were playing together once again and Finn wanted to introduce his grandmother to Max, which meant he also got an introduction too. Magnus' mum was very kind and sweet towards Max and clearly doted on Finn.
Just as Alec and Max were coming through the front door his phone buzzed but he didn't look at it. He didn't want to have to ignore Magnus, he was going to be polite as he usually was, but if contact could be avoided that is what he would prefer. At least until the embarrassment had worn off.
Fortunately, it was only Clary reminding him of the art class they were due at that evening. Alec had forgotten and almost texted Clary faking illness but he didn't want to break his promise to his friend. Besides, drawing usually helped take his mind off things.
XxX
By the time he had reached the community centre where the class was being held he was actually sort of looking forward to it. Hopefully he could put on a brave face for Clary and he wouldn't end up being interrogated. He walked into the main hall, saw Clary's mess of orange hair and sat down opposite her. "Alec! Hey! How are you?" Clary greeted him. "I'm good thanks, how are you?" Alec gave a template answer. "Good, good, it was nice to have a day off and I'm really excited for this class." Clary replied. She hadn't yet looked up from the sketch she was working on.
The class teacher started talking then so Alec turned his chair around so he could see more easily. Once the brief was given, he tried to summon his enthusiasm and then started to draw. It was going well until he couldn't quite get the right shading. He leaned over the table to reach for the eraser by Clary's elbow. She looked up at that point and her mouth fell open. Alec sat back, eraser in hand and started to gently rub it against his paper.
"Alec" Clary said. "Mmm" Alec answered, still focused on erasing. "Alec" Clary said more urgently". "What? Sorry did you want your eraser back?" Alec replied, going to put the eraser back down in the middle of the table. "What is that on your chest, just under your collarbone?" Clary asked quietly. "What is what?" Alec said just looking confusedly at Clary. "That" Clary urged, pulling the neckline of his top down slightly to reveal a purple mark on his skin.
Oh dear god. He had forgotten about that. Why did he lean over to get the eraser? Why couldn't he just be happy with his stupid shading? Now he had to answer questions he didn't want to. "Well?" Clary whispered impatiently. "Uhhmmm… uhhh.. I may have thrown myself at Magnus last night" Alec gave in, he couldn't exactly hide it now and Clary knew he was seeing Magnus yesterday, in fact he was surprised that she hadn't grilled him already on how it went.
Clary gasped "Oh. My. God. You have to give me the 411. Not here though, you probably shouldn't talk about it with all these people around us. Let's go somewhere after for a drink". Alec groaned, firstly, he didn't want to talk about it, secondly, he didn't think he could face even being in a bar after his hangover this morning.
Although, he loved art and drawing and most things creative, Alec just ended up sitting there watching everyone else for the rest of the class. He knew Clary wouldn't let him get out of talking about it, he just didn't want to end up feeling as upset as he did last night. The class finished, Alec didn't even bother taking his drawing home, he couldn't concentrate properly so it wasn't any good.
By the time they came out of the centre, it was raining quite heavily, so they dashed down the street to the closest bar. Alec pushed the door open for Clary, then followed in after her. Clary chose a table in the corner and slung her wet coat over the back of a chair. Alec was tempted to run away but Clary was glaring at him and he knew that she would run right after him if the did that. So he pulled his coat off too and hung it over his own chair, albeit at a massively unhurried pace.
"Sit down Alec. You aren't getting out of this." Clary warned. Alec flopped down into his seat and stared at Clary. "Would a beer make this easier?" she asked. "NO. No. No beer." Alec exclaimed. "Wow, okay, no beer. Fine. I'm gonna get a drink cos I'm 21 and can do that now. You want a coke or something?" Clary suggested. "Yea, a coke is good, thanks". Clary's birthday had been over the weekend, not that she'd told Alec until after the event. Apparently she didn't want fuss. A girl after his own heart.
Clary was back within a few minutes and placed the drinks down on the table. "So, what happened? I can't tell if you're happy about it, or not." Clary said cross-examining Alec. "I don't know really, it was going well, we were chatting, and had dinner and stuff, then we went to look at Max's cot and I was just watching him. I don't know what came over me. Aside from the fact I'd had three glasses of wine." Alec confessed.
"So you literally threw yourself at him?" Clary asked. "Yea, basically, I think. Then things got kind of intense and he tried to get my belt undone and I freaked out." Alec recounted. "Ah, you freaked out? ...That's why you don't seem happy about it." Clary surmised.
"I'm just so embarrassed. I literally said he had a great ass then pounced on him, like some manwhore." Alec said then leant his head in his hands and took a sip of his coke as Clary chuckled at his previous comment. "But you were enjoying it before you freaked out?" Clary induced. When Alec just looked up at Clary from his hands with a frosty glare she continued "And if he gave you a hickey then he must have been enjoying it too…are you sure this is a bad thing?"
"Yes. It's a bad thing. I forced myself on him, then ran away. And I refused to open my bedroom door when he tried to talk to me about it." Alec assured. "Ah, and you haven't spoken since?" Clary inquired. "No" Alec confirmed.
"Hmm, okay. So why did you freak out?" she pushed. "I don't know. I just did. All of a sudden it hit me that Max was next door and my parents died less than six months ago and I'm already being selfish and putting what I want before what Max needs." Alec justified.
"Alec, we've talked about this before. You are doing everything you can for Max and he's doing so well. You need to try and keep yourself happy too. If you aren't happy then Max will feed off that." Clary reasoned. "Yea, maybe. I'm just so embarrassed." Alec hid behind his drink again, really not wanting to talk about it anymore. "I can imagine. Maybe you just need to talk to him." Clary proposed. "Mmm" Alec murmured.
They moved on to other topics and Alec became a bit more animated as he chatted to his friend. He would just put this out of his mind for now. Focus on Max and work.
Once there were only empty glasses on the table, the two friends went out into the still pouring rain and went their separate ways.
XxX
It was a short drive home for Alec and he dashed into the house, no-one was around so he went to Max's room to check on him. He was sound asleep in his new bed, thanks to Magnus. Alec placed a soft kiss on his forehead then went to his own room and stripped his clothes off. He went for a shower to warm up a bit as he was getting quite cold now, given it was nearly December and his clothes had gotten quite damp in the rain. He was exhausted so after a very quick shower he brushed his teeth and got into bed straight away. He went to set an alarm on his phone and noticed he had a text. From the very man he was dreading hearing from.
Hey Blue Eyes, how are you? My mum said she met you today and you are a 'delightful young man' My thoughts entirely ;) x
Alec didn't know what to do, Magnus had asked a direct question so he felt bad about not replying. After all he is the dad of Max's best friend and he probably couldn't avoid him forever. He just didn't know what to say, he typed out a few responses but none of them sounded right. In a burst of frustration he chucked his phone down on the bed, grabbed the other pillow, plonked it over his head and let out an angry growl.
He was so annoyed at himself. He kind of felt like maybe he had had a good thing going with Magnus, they were getting to know each other, it had just progressed too fast due to his drunken antics. Besides he had to get along with Finn's dad if Max was going to remain good friends with him. Which so far there hadn't been any bumps in that road as you might expect with small children. Maybe he should just suck it up? Magnus didn't seem to be annoyed at him, at least not from the one text message he had received.
He slowly removed the pillow from his face and reached for his phone halfway down the bed.
Hey Magnus. Yea I met your mum, she was delightful too x
It had been a good twenty minutes since Magnus had text him and it was quite late so he wasn't sure if he'd get a reply but just as Alec was thinking that his phone buzzed in his hand.
Ah thanks Blue Eyes. I love her to bits. Anyway, are you okay? I tried to talk to you last night but maybe you weren't well or you fell asleep or something x
Magnus had just given him an out, sort of, I mean he was still embarrassed about the getting drunk and throwing himself at him thing, but at least the plain rudeness of not talking to him afterwards could be excused if he had gotten sick. He was pretty drunk, that was believable. Right?
Yea, yea sorry... I don't do well with wine, should have stuck to beer. Sorry x
No worries Blue Eyes. I really enjoyed our date...especially the end ;) anyway we better get some rest, it's late and Daycare means an early start! x
He didn't have the heart to tell Magnus that he wasn't going to be at Daycare tomorrow. He had a rare day off. Although he worked part time he usually had a shift most days of the week, even if it was only a four hour one. At least not seeing Magnus for the next few days would give him chance to get his thoughts in order. His instinct was to reply to Magnus and tell him that he had a good time too, but he didn't want to lead him on if he did come to the conclusion that he really wasn't ready for a relationship. He was reminded once again of all the conversations Clary had had with him, trying to get him to see the positives of being with someone in a stable relationship. He knew deep down, that he wanted that, everybody does, but his head was holding him back. What if Magnus and he only dated for a short while? What would that mean for Max and his friendship with Finn? That would surely make playdates awkward. What if Magnus only wanted him for one thing and he didn't actually want a proper relationship? He hadn't necessarily got that vibe from Magnus so far, he seemed really nice and genuine, but sometimes you just can't tell.
Why couldn't he just make up his mind and stick to it? Yes, he was only a 19 year old guy, with a very small child to look after, who had no supervisory support in doing so, who's life had basically been turned upside down, but still. This is something he wouldn't really have contemplated this much before. Okay, he was sort of shy and not the most outgoing of people, but if a hot guy was interested in him he would have usually gone for it. So why couldn't he take the leap now?