Previously…

This time, I try not to recoil and instead throw my leg up to try to kick him. Somehow I do and somehow I land the kick right on his dick.

"Fuck." Eric breathes, clutching his groin.

I want to laugh but I try to hold it in. However, I end up snorting laughter through my nose. I turn away to avoid the glare that Eric is now giving me. But in my outburst of laughter, Eric is able to recover and come up behind me. He grabs me by the waist and flips me over his shoulder. He lets go and I fly through the air. I hit the mat hard, sprawling with my arms and legs out wide. It hurts a lot but I still laugh. Eric sighs, now standing at my feet. "You're fighting Drew today, you won't be able to learn to beat him if you just lie there laughing." He says 'laughing' likes it's a foreign word that he's never heard before. Though it's very hard to imagine Eric having a giggle like I am now.

I stop giggling when the training room door slams shut. I sit up sharply, staring at the door. Eric, too, seems on high alert, watching the door carefully. No one is there, but it's obvious that someone was, because Eric shut it when we came in, so it couldn't have blown shut. Crap. "Brace yourself," Eric says, still staring at the door, "those rumors about us are going to get a lot worse."

Chapter 6

Void

It's been three days since someone saw Eric and I training together. Eric was right (again), the rumors got a lot worse. When the rumors started, I knew nothing about them and everyone seemed pretty good at making sure I didn't hear. But now everyone's talking about it. The rumors have stayed the same, but now as I walk down the corridor, I feel eyes penetrating in the back of my skull. My friends try to comfort me about the lies that are spreading, but knowing that they considered the fact that the rumors could be true without any real, strong evidence, their comfort doesn't really help. For some reason, the only person who can make me feel a little better about the rumors is the person who shares the accusations with me. Maybe it's because Eric is the only person who doesn't care.

Eric, though still not as approachable as usual, seems to be being a little nicer to me. After the intrusion of our training session, he's offered to change our sessions to the evening so that it's less likely that someone will walk in on us. I had to refuse, otherwise, I wouldn't have time with my friends. He didn't take it so well, but then the next morning when I met him for training, he didn't bring me to the main training room. Instead, he took me out to a little building next to the main compound. He explained that it's the leader's gym but no one ever uses it in the morning, so no one will come in on us. He also said that he'd reported the rumors to Max. I was very worried what Max thought but Eric reassured me that he'd told our head leader that it was all lies and that initiates were spreading the rumors as they didn't like his training methods and they didn't mind putting one of their fellow initiates under the bus. I am in Eric's debt for so many things now. He's actually done so many things for me and I've never actually noticed properly. He's done things which I may not have liked at first, but now I realize he's trying to help me adjust to Dauntless life.

We're doing rifle training at the moment and I seem to be doing pretty well. I'm able to hit the chest quite easily, but I find hitting the head slightly more challenging. I manage to shoot the target in the collarbone area when Four calls us to stop. He looks quite serious today but that might be because of the woman standing next to him. I have no idea who she is but by the look of her, it's enough to make someone behave. She looks to be in her mid-thirties, with several wrinkles and tired looking eyes. Or should I say eye? One eye is perfectly normal, the green iris gazing over us all. Her other eye is gone, the right side of her face covered with long white scars. The area where her eye was has been covered over with a patch of skin, put there by doctors to cover the gap. It makes me wonder why she is here, she only has one eye, shouldn't she be factionless?

"This is Abbey. She is one of Dauntless' best snipers and will be showing you how to shoot long range." Four introduces.

As soon as Four finishes, Abbey buts in. "I work mostly on the fence, but today I was asked if I wanted to come teach you what I do. Unlike your current instructors, I will be a little harsher." Christina, who is standing in the center of the group, laughs. Abbey's eye snaps to her, giving me a horrible feeling in my gut. Abbey doesn't say anything but her whole demeanor is questioning Chris. "We have Eric. I doubt you could be worse than him." Suddenly the bang of Abbey's gun goes off, everyone looking around in panic. It's only when Christina screams that we know what happened. "You almost shot me!" she yells. Abbey stares at Chris, cocking her eyebrow slightly. Four rushes in front of Abbey, trying to make sure that she doesn't shoot again. "You're not allowed to shoot at the transfers!" he hisses at her.

After the scuffle, Four sets us up at the targets and gives us some new guns. Abbey demonstrates how to load the new gun and how to shoot from a long distance. When we start to practice on our own, I find it very difficult to hit the target. I look down the barrel, through the magnifier and aim the gun. I wrap my fingers around the cold, metal trigger and press it. When I shoot, I can handle the recoil well, but my aim seems to be worse than I thought.

"Harder than it looks, isn't it?" I look up from reloading my gun to see Abbey watching me. I nod, carrying on with reloading my weapon. When I've finished, Abbey grabs the gun out of my hands. "If you can't shoot standing up, then kneel down." She demonstrates, kneeling on one knee and shooting at my target. It hits the center of the forehead. She gives the gun back and I copy what she did. Kneeling feels better, as I'm able to keep the gun steadier. I shoot and manage to hit the stomach area. "Good, but not lethal," Abbey remarks. I stand up and fire the gun above her head like she did with Chris. The bullet doesn't even go near her, which I'm kinda glad about. No one notices except Abbey, who unexpectedly smiles at me. "You almost shot me!" she says in a falsetto voice, waving her hands slightly in fake horror. I can't help but laugh, even though she's making fun of my friend. "What are you laughing about?" Eric says, appearing out of nowhere. I giggle a little bit in surprise and Eric eyes me. "Nothing, sir," Abbey says in a sweet voice, saluting him mockingly. I laugh again; I can't believe that she's willing to talk to Eric like that. Eric glares at her and she glares back, with her single eye. She cuts it off by standing up and walking off, only turning around to quickly tell me, "I like you, kid, you're a good person."

Eric raises a pierced eyebrow at me, "What was that about?"

"I shot at her."

He looks at me in confusion, but only answers with a simple, "Okay."

I turn back to the target and kneel down. I aim and shoot again, hitting the target on the shoulder. I can still feel Eric watching me, but I try to continue to shoot. "Why were you laughing?" he asks, just after I shoot. I sigh and look up at him. "We were making fun of Christina, okay. Abbey shot at her and Chris got scared. When I shot at Abbey, she decided to imitate Chris and I found it funny."

"Why?"

I sigh again, getting tired of his questioning, "I guess because Chris' lied to me and stuff. I'm not really sure."

"So you don't like Christina?"

I sigh for a third time, "I don't know." I shoot again, the sound blocking out what Eric says next. He walks away, leaving me feeling slightly annoyed.

Al moans in defeat as I kick him in the side. Ever since his fight with Will, he doesn't want to hurt anybody, so he just lets them win. So as he's fallen down the ranks, I've risen slightly, meaning that we had to fight each other. The fight was easy, he just let me punch and kick him until he couldn't continue. It was like hitting a human punching bag, but I guess that's what Al is now that he doesn't want to fight.

As Al is helped up off the mat by Will, Eric calls out the next fight, "Molly and Christina." I watch as my friend walks onto the mat, a little too confidently. Chris has been winning all of her matches recently, so she's near to the top of the rankings. Molly is one above her, so this is going to be an interesting fight. I stand opposite Eric, not for any reason, except to maybe see his reaction to the fight.

Most of the fight I watch Eric, who occasionally looks up at me. I don't look away, I'm not as scared of his gaze as before. I notice that as the fight progresses, his eyes are calculating something. Not in the way a Dauntless would, more like an Erudite. I think back to something he said, something about being a transfer. Maybe he was from Eru- "Enjoying the view of your boyfriend, Eddi." I look away from Eric to see Peter grinning darkly at me. I also feel Eric's eyes now on me, as if wondering why I'm not looking anymore. "There's nothing between Eric and me, Peter," I tell him.

"I can see why you're not Candor anymore," he smirks.

"I'm telling the truth," I snap.

"But I heard Tris say that she saw you and Eric in here a few days ago. She said you were laughing and he was on top of you."

"What?" I growl, "That's not true." All I can think about is that it was Tris who saw us. But Peter could be lying.

"I'm telling the truth Eddi, that's what Tris said. You can trust me, to tell the truth to you, we were once Candor."

"Well then, what Tris said wasn't true. She's from Abnegation. They lie all the time, don't they?" I say, referencing when Peter accused an Abnegation boy of lying in the lines for the Aptitude Test.

"True. But what are you doing with him then? I've noticed that you've always been awake before any of us."

Sighing, I relent, "Eric's been giving me extra training in the morning. That's all."

"Why?"

"I want to get better. I have no idea why he does it, so I can't help you there."

Peter smirks at me and goes to say something. He's cut off by Chris calling out, "No. No. I'm done. I'm done." I flick my eyes back to Eric, who is looking straight at me. A slight smirk twists at the corners of his mouth before he looks down at Chris. "You need to stop?" he asks her, slight amusement in his tone. She nods her head, blood running from her nose. "Okay. Let me give you a hand," he says, malicious intent wrapping around his words. She hesitates, then takes his hand and he pulls her to her feet. "Thanks," she mutters.

"Alright, let's everyone take a break!" Eric suddenly calls. I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen next. As we walk in a throng down the corridors of Dauntless, which I somehow recognize to lead to the Chasm, I notice Eric put his hand on Christina's back. I suddenly feel a pang in my chest, like disappointment. I'm jealous. Eric and Chris are a little further ahead now, he's leading her onto the Chasm bridge. That's when I lose my jealousy of Chris, when he pushes her off the edge, leaving her to dangle by her hands.

"You got three options. Hang there and I'll forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. But if you give up you're out," Eric tells her, and us, in a casual tone. Despite the fact that my friend is hanging onto the edge of death, I cannot help but think that Eric's voice right then was really attractive. I try to ignore the thought, trying to focus on the fact that my childhood friend is in a life or death situation. "Come on, Chris," Tris calls in the tense silence. Eric slowly looks up, glaring intensely at the Abnegation transfer. The look he gives seems to make Tris and the others around me shuffle about in fear. The look he gives makes me feel fluttering in my lower abdomen, like butterflies. I bite my lip to prevent a smile caused by the feeling. I really shouldn't be feeling this right now. I look back down at Chris, who has tears running down her pained face. Around me, Will is tapping his foot worriedly and Tris is clutching Al's hand, who is wiping tears from his face. Chris is struggling now, her hands starting to slip from the slippery metal. I look at Eric, who is watching his watch. He looks up at me, clearly locking gaze. "Time," he calls. Tris, Al, and Will run straight over to Chris, pulling her up to safety. I, however, walk slowly past Eric, keeping eye contact with him, before joining my friends.

"Are you okay?" I ask Chris, who is being held up by Will and Al.

She shakes her head and her legs give in. I rush over and help her stand up again. "Thanks," she mutters.

"Let's get you to the Infirmary," Tris says. I nod, grabbing onto my friend to support her.

From behind us, Eric dismisses the group by saying, "Dauntless never give up."

After the rest of training, we went back to the Infirmary to get Chris. The doctors told her to rest for tonight, so we decided to take her straight back to the dormitory. When we got back to the dorms, the reaction from the others was something I didn't expect. Everyone congratulated Chris. I don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but I feel jealous of Chris for having everyone know that she survived Eric's punishment. Now everyone will know Chris as the girl who hung off the Chasm and survived. I'll still be Eddi and nothing else. I want to be known for doing or being something so that I'm labeled as different from everyone else. That's why I'm so anxious now, because I feel like everyone else, in awe of what Chris has so amazingly done. So as soon as we drop her off, I tell them that I'm going out. I don't tell them anything and leave quickly so that they don't follow me.

I decide to go to the Chasm, seeing as that's where this problem originated. I sit with my legs hanging over the edge, watching the river that runs below. I try not to think so that the tense feeling in the pit of my stomach will disappear, but it's not working. I sigh and continue to watch the river. "Hey, kid." I look up to see the woman who trained us this morning, Abbey. She smiles at me and quickly sits down next to me. "What's up?" she asks.

"Nothing," I mumble.

Abbey sighs, "I thought that you were different, but you're giving me normal girl answers now."

At her comment, I put my head in my hands and sigh, "That's exactly what I don't wanna be!"

Abbey leans over and puts her hand on my shoulder, "It's okay, everything's gonna be, uh, alright, I think. Now, uh, you don't wanna be different or normal. Which is it?"

I half-heartedly laugh at her bad social skills, "I don't wanna be normal."

She nods, "Good… Now, what's up? Clearly your feeling strong emotions about something."

Giving her a confused look because of her odd choice of words, I ask, "Strong emotions?"

"I don't paddle in the emotion pool often; don't need it when I spend most of my time on the fence; I can't tell what you're feeling, but I do know you're feeling something. Now, answer my question, what's up?"

I sigh, "Friends."

"Another area that I don't know that well, but go on…" Abbey admits.

"As I just said, I want to be different. I'm trying my hardest, but it always seems that my friends always stand out more than I do without trying."

"What do they do?"

"Fail in fights and get hung off the Chasm."

Abbey laughs, "Oh yeah, I heard that girl I shot at got hung off here today! Is she your friend? I thought that you were laughing at her this morning."

"Yep, she's my friend. Sorta. She and my other friends have been screwing me over a lot since we transferred."

"Bitches," Abbey cuts in.

I sigh and continue, "She didn't come to see me in the Infirmary when I'd been knocked out by her. And my other friends left Eric to take me to the Infirmary."

"Bitches," she repeats, then asks, "What's wrong with Eric taking you to the Infirmary?"

"The rumors that people-"

I'm cut off by Abbey exclaiming loudly, "Oh my God, it's you. You're the girl who's been shagging Eric."

I glare at her, "No. That's just untrue rumors. I'm not fucking Eric to get higher in the ranks."

She notices my quick, cold tone and shakes her head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I have no brain to mouth filter." She laughs a little, "That's probably why they didn't offer me a leader position when I joined Dauntless at the top of the ranks; I wouldn't be able to keep any of the faction's secrets."

"You transferred to Dauntless?"

"Yeah, was Erudite, got Candor, but thought 'fuck it, I wanna shoot people' and joined Dauntless."

"Really?" I ask, intrigued.

She nods, "Uh huh. My instructors thought that I was gonna fail but I showed them that I was Dauntless."

"Cool," I say, then ask, "So, can you give me any advice on my friends or how to be more different?"

"Well, uh, to be different, I would say be yourself and, uh, don't push away your feelings towards things, 'coz your feelings are what you really feel, not what you think you should feel. For advice on your friends, well, fuck them... Not literally, that wouldn't help at all. Unless you wanna get all kinky with them, then go ahead, it's your choice."

I laugh at little, shaking my head and then admit to her, "Eric said to me the same thing about the rumors being spread."

Abbey's eye flicks to me with interest, "So you and Eric have been talking?"

"Yeah. Only talking, though. He's been giving me extra training in the morning."

"Extra training? You seem pretty good to me."

"It just sorta happened when I went to the training room early," I say, not mentioning that it was on the first day.

"I wonder why he does it; you know why?" she asks.

"No, but I'm grateful," I admit.

Abbey nods, "Yeah, I- What the fuck!" A crushed can flies inches past our faces and tumbles down into the Chasm. The aluminum clinks echo throughout the room, the absence of a splash showing how deep the Chasm really is. Trust the Dauntless to put something terrifying in the middle of their compound. It must have been terrifying for Chris today; something I should have thought when it was happening.

Abbey sighs, "That was probably my friends, they have a weird way of getting my attention. Great talking to you, Eddi." She gets up abruptly and jogs off, leaving me alone again.

Eric punches me in the gut and I keel over, landing on the soft floor of the leader's training room. "I know who saw us that morning and spread the rumors about you know what," I blurt as if to distract Eric from attacking me.

He pulls me up off the floor and says, "I don't care who saw us."

I put my hands up again and let him throw a punch at me. I manage to dodge it but only just, showing that Eric is by far better than me. But I am getting better, as I am able to dodge the next few punches and throw a punch of my own, which is blocked with ease by Eric. I step back and put my hands up again. "Really? I thought you'd be interested."

Eric pushes me hard and I stumble back. "I'm not interested."

I dodge most of Eric's next punches and manage to block a few, making me quite proud of myself. "I'm going to tell you anyway," I decide out loud.

"No," he growls, "I don't want to know." He grabs and flips me and I end up pinned to the floor, Eric's knee pressed strongly against my back, hurting it slightly.

"It was Tris," I tell him quickly. The pressure on my back increases as he leans in, his breath licking my skin, making it tingle. He stays silent for a moment as if rethinking his words. He leans in even closer so that his lips are almost touching my ear as he whispers, "I'm beginning to detest all of your friends. Good thing we're going to the fence tomorrow, we can push her off. Sound like a good plan, Eddi?"