Lizzy sat in the chair feeling everyone of her thirty-seven years as she was primped and preened and prodded by the make-up artists of 'Pride and Prejudice' next to the gaggle of twenty-something actresses who were playing the Bennet sisters. She felt out of place, being the only 'supporting artist' to be in the same area as the actual stars of the film, and even though she knew it had been arranged to make her feel a bit special and important, it just made her feel awkward. Sitting there reading her book, her mad curls had already been tamed and pinned up into an authentically intricate Regency 'do' and then been wrapped in chiffon and pinned again to stop any movement whilst she was taken to costume. The dress that she had been fitted for was phenomenal; the puffed sleeves were trimmed in gold brocade, which matched the detailing to the front. Made from royal blue silk, it crinkled when she walked, the stiff fabric and the underlying petticoats noisily rubbing against her legs. Although it was hemmed to the perfect length and she didn't need to lift it, she felt the need to, personifying the wretched yet resolute Jane Austen character that she was somehow becoming by osmosis. For the last few months she had felt very much like an Anne Elliot rather than any one of the Bennet sisters, even Mary seemed to have been living her best life.
Lizzy walked across the courtyard, eager to see the preparations taking place inside. She had been strictly forbidden from using the grand staircase since the production trucks had arrived as Pemberley was retrofitted back to the 1800s. The finale of the Netherfield Ball ended with a long sweeping shot throughout the rooms where the action took place and Matthew was currently walking through the action with the Steadicam operator as they planned the complicated series of shots and sequences that were all detailed minutely. For all his many faults, Matthew really was a tremendously good director and producer, totally passionate about any project that he embarked upon and she was glad that he had decided to tackle this one. She stood at the edge of the action self-consciously, looking around the room that she had known all her life transformed into the majestic ballroom of Netherfield Hall.
Lizzy took a seat in a quiet corner of the hall, reading a random book that she had picked up at the airport on the way back from France and hadn't got around to starting. It wasn't holding her interest, and, in her mind, she blamed the awkward week in France with Carol and Hugh for being distracted and choosing something with a pretty cover and little substance. They had barely walked through the door of the villa when Carol announced rather bluntly that they were separating, with Hugh nodding quietly and confirming that it was true. For the sake of appearances, they were still planning on appearing together in public until the divorce was finalised and for all Lizzy could tell the split was amicable on both sides. The week had passed with strained conversations and awkward outings as they performed a well-rehearsed charade in public. Although Lizzy didn't especially like Carol as a person, she was always sad when marriages ended. They had been together for a long time now, their lives so entwined with each other's that it was sad to think that they wouldn't be there together any more and now when she picked up the floppy paperback with the pink cover, all she could see was her father's brown eyes sadly smiling at her over breakfast on the terrace.
Harriet was part of the Netherfield Ball scenes too and had been on the train every weekend to the dance studio in London to practice the three labour-intensive dances with the rest of the cast. She was wearing a beautiful emerald green dress in a shiny taffeta and her hair was pinned and wrapped under a befeathered turban. College had started well and she was making the most of the October half term to question the seamstresses and costume team about all aspects of their work; Harriet had chosen an eclectic mix of A-Levels – Textiles, Photography and History – she wasn't sure how they would fit into her future but she chose things that she liked and was sure that life would mould itself around them.
Lizzy noticed her daughter sitting with Sam, the Third AD who she had known forever, chatting to him animatedly and laughing at everything he said, but she tried not to notice when Benn Williams walked on set; although she inadvertently felt her heart flip. She tried to remember exactly what she had said to him on the rooftop, but all she could remember was how embarrassed she had felt afterwards as she had practically shoved him into his car without even saying goodbye. She glanced over; he was already fully costumed in one of the early, stiff Darcy outfits; his curls tousled to perfection and his cravat devilishly high. They had been very specific about the colours of costuming Darcy and the Bingleys at the Ball and a lot of the dresses had been modelled on the gowns of Elizabeth and Georgiana Darcy which had been found up in the attic and been on display at the V&A – Harriet had been fascinated by it and explained it in great length whilst Lizzy listened half-heartedly, distracted by work papers and Debs' relationship drama. Casually she looked up at him and caught him looking at her; he blinked slowly and then looked away, turning his attention to the woman with bright red hair who was standing next to him. Lizzy felt a prickle of anxiety sweep down her body, manifesting itself on her arm in goosebumps. She got up, slipped on her jacket and walked out to the courtyard.
Benn hadn't expected to see Lizzy at the shoot, didn't understand why when he walked on set she was sitting there reading a book and dressed in full regency regalia – the blue brought out the colour of her eyes and he couldn't help but notice her boobs, even though he would never admit to it. He had spent the last six weeks at Shepperton throwing himself into sorting out his life; he had joined AA, visiting a small meeting in Ealing each week, the divorce was being finalised within the next week or two and he had reached out to Madeleine in a polite and civil manner. They had spoken in length about the ending of their marriage and how they needed to do what was best for their girls. Benn knew that he would always love her; she was the mother of his children and would always play a part in his life, but he had come to realise that for the last few years they had been rattling around as little more than housemates, always on location or distracted by work. It was not how he had wanted to end his relationship, but he was optimistic for the future, whatever it held.
He had hoped that the weeks at Shepperton would have meant a message or a phone call from Lizzy, but there had been nothing. He was worried that he had come on too strong; practically telling her that he was in love with her on a rooftop whilst looking at the stars was like something out of one of the cheesy romantic comedies he was sent scripts for, but she was wrong thinking that it wasn't real. He had meant every word, but maybe she simply didn't feel like that about him. She was nice to everyone, except Matthew, maybe he had misconstrued the situation. Under the lights he noticed that his cravat was a little too tight, excusing himself he walked out to the courtyard.
Lizzy was sitting hidden in the cloisters underneath the archway to the garden when she saw Benn appear from the house and walk slowly down the stone steps, resting for moment on the iron railings. There were members of the production team running about here and there, extras and dancers moving from make-up and costume, runners shimmying people along from one area to another, but all she could see in the crowd of people was Benn. He walked over to the well in the centre of the courtyard before turning and seeing her hiding near the kiosk for the garden. Purposefully but silently, he strode over in his dancing pumps before taking the seat next to her.
"Nice hair," he said, smirking at her chiffon'ed and pinned head.
"Nice tights," she responded dryly. "Borrow them from your nan, did you?"
There was a silence between them, filled with the noise from the sound system playing Mozart, walkie-talkies hissing and fuzzing loudly and the general kafuffle of people organising themselves.
"I missed you," he murmured, turning to look at her. She blinked up at him, before turning away.
"I missed your cheesecake making skills; I've had to resort to buying fully constructed ones from M&S," she smiled up at him, remembering the night when they didn't make cheesecake after supper. "I missed you."
Benn's heart gave a little stir, started beating faster and he was suddenly very aware of the heat rising to his face. He was going to play this cool, he had already decided. He wasn't going to go in all guns blazing and make declarations of affection. After being told off quite severely he had read Pride and Prejudice, borrowing a battered old copy from Lucy, and it was clear that the direct and forceful approach hadn't worked well for Mr Darcy at all.
"Was it my dancing skills that you missed the most, because let me tell you, I am now phenomenally good at country house dancing. In fact, I'm convinced that when the Queen finds out that I am a shoo-in for a Knighthood…she might even want me to fill her dance card."
"I am excited to see it," she grinned. "My toes have just about recovered from your heavy-footed debauchery."
There was a moment when the laughter faded into something slightly more serious, she felt her heart pounding in her chest.
"Lizzy…" he said, gently taking her hand in his own. She looked up at him smiling, the lightning was crackling again and maybe that was where she was going wrong. He smiled back, looking in her eyes and finding them scared and nervous, as if she was convinced that he would have something bad to say. Lizzy confused these new sparks of happiness and anticipation with the piercing prods of nervous anxiety that she had experienced before whenever she had let someone get too close to her heart. She felt the warmth of his hand in her own as he wrapped his fingers through hers, entwining them together so that in the soft dusk of the evening she couldn't tell where his ended and hers began. They sat there for a moment in companionable silence before Benn was discovered by the agitated production assistant with an ever-present frown that Lizzy found troubling and was whisked away.