**Warning** - This chapter has vague implications of *attempted* rape. Nothing too specific or graphic, but different people have different triggers. I've bracketed off the section like this:
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I do use some Japanese language in places where I think it sounds better. I have tried to include enough context to clue into it's meaning, if not a rough translation itself, within the story. Translations will also be included at the bottom. There will be killing, though not of anyone in the main group, and there are instances where *attempted* rape is mentioned/implied, though not in graphic detail. I'll still put additional warnings up for the latter in relevant chapters. Just because it doesn't trigger me doesn't mean it won't trigger someone else. If I need to make changes, let me know and I'll try to accommodate.
Disclaimer: I do not own Akatsuki no Yona, its plot, nor its characters. I've simply thrown my own original character into the mix because I'm a curious creature and chased a plot bunny down a rabbit hole. I'm stuck. Please send rum.
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Her thoughts were hazy and jumbled as her consciousness swayed back and forth between dream and reality, to the point where she could no longer tell which was which.
She was sitting around the fire with her family, eating and laughing as they talked about what they each had done that day when a noise behind her caught her attention. She twisted to see what had caused it, her searching eyes finding nothing but darkness beyond the small reach of the fire's glow.
Turning back, she opened her mouth to ask if anyone else had heard it, only to find them dead. Their bloody, mutilated bodies strewn haphazardly around the small room in their home. Dead, soulless eyes stared back as blood seeped out, spreading until the whole from was drenched in red before slowly slithering up the wall.
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Following its path, her eyes looked to the ceiling, but there wasn't one. Instead, faces leered down at her from above.
Taunting, jeering, cruel faces with hands that reached and grabbed and hurt.
The blood was on her now, trickling up her clothes and skin, holding her forcefully to the ground. It wrapped around her throat, choking her as the ground under her stabbed into her back, pain ripping through her as though the flesh was being scoured from her body. Her vision went red as she thrashed and snarled, like a wild beast, snapping her teeth and clawing at those hands that grabbed at her clothes and her hair and her skin.
Hands that were everywhere. Pulling and ripping and beating at her, forcing her to the ground.
Her back was on fire, the pain burning and coursing through her like lava. Pain bloomed in her side as she struggled to get away.
Suddenly, one one of the faces closed in on her, the others fading out of sight as it came closer. So close.
'Too close!'
She lashed out, feeling little resistance as she ripped through skin and flesh. Again and again and again. Blood rained down heavily, the warmth spreading over her cold, bare skin. She didn't care. In fact, she reveled in it. Her own blood howling in vicious triumph as her enemy lay dead at her feet.
She was free.
She grabbed the clothes the hands had stolen from her, pulling them on hastily as she dashed out the door and into the dark forest.
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At the edge of the tree line, a large shadow crouched, waiting. Its glowing red eyes called to her... and something within stirred in answer. Together, they ran, the beast ahead loping through the underbrush, leading her through the darkness.
They were behind her, she knew. The other faces... they'd be angry now.
Before they had just been toying with her, like a cat with it's prey.
Not anymore.
Now they cursed and screamed, raging at her as she ran and ran through the dark. Clawed hands scratched and raked at her, tearing into clothes and skin alike. Slowing her down, clutching at her as she fled.
The ground itself bit at her feet, tooth-like rocks stabbing into her flesh while roots twisted and flailed. One grabbed her ankle, tripping her and sending her flying. Falling. Crashing. Rolling. Until she smashed into something.
Hard.
For a long time, there was nothing. Nothing but pain and darkness. The cold void pressing in around her was almost... soothing. She was tired of running. Tired of hurting. Of the never ending pain. Tired of fighting.
Just. So. Tired.
She knew she should get up, that they'd find her if she didn't, those faces and hands she feared so much. Even as she told herself to move, she didn't. Couldn't. Exhaustion filled her body, her limbs heavy as lead, and in the dark she shivered...
As she lay there, she dreamed of warm, gentle hands that soothed instead of hurt. That caressed instead of grabbed. Hands as pale as moon beams washing over her, freeing her from the blood that clung to her, numbing her body, and easing the ache in her soul. She sighed softly, enjoying the brief respite.
If she listened, she could still hear the voices. Harsh, grating sounds that reminded her they were still there. Watching for the moon to turn its back. Waiting in the darkness for the light to leave. She couldn't escape them. Not forever. But she'd take this chance to rest. Here, under the watchful eyes of the moon. Rest so that, when it finally left her, she'd be ready to fight again..
She felt like she was floating along, her body rocked occasionally as if by some unseen current, while her mind continued to wander..
Papa had been the one to teach her how to fight, though she wasn't too great at it. Mama had frowned on her boyish tendencies at first, but Papa was always encouraging her to do what made her happy. He spoiled her like that.
She supposed he had always wanted a son (as most father's seemed to), but despite years of trying, she was their only child. He never complained, never seemed disappointed. In fact, that she shared his interests more and more as she grew older had only added to the love he'd already lavished on her.
She remembered how, when she was 5, the other girls in the village were sewing and cooking and playing house while she and Papa would head out into the woods. He taught her about the animals and nature. Nature that could not be tamed, could not be controlled, but would often cooperate if shown the proper respect.
Papa had always believed they were part of that nature and strove to emulate it in everything he did. Quiet and quick like the rabbit, cunning and sly like the fox, watchful and wise like the owl, fierce and strong like the wolf. Through him, she learned to love all things and to become one with her surroundings, to never take anything for granted. Two years later, he had talked Mama into allowing her to join him in his morning meditation. It was another 3 years before she was allowed to train with him.
"Let her decide her own future," He'd coaxed. "After all, isn't it better to be wildly happy than perfectly miserable?"
Mama had finally relented, still unable to deny him anything after all their time together, though Mama had insisted she learn at least some practical household skills. She never pushed for perfection, merely content knowing her daughter would have the skills available should she ever need them.
Some of the other children had teased her for her boyish tendencies though. A few of the boys would go so far as to bully her, taunting her about how small and weak she was compared to them. Until one of them had hit her. Then she'd shown them just how 'small and weak' she was. Not that it had stopped them, they just started ganging up on her after that, hurling their insults from the safety of their 'pack'.
They kept their hands to themselves after that, however.
The girls, on the other hand, generally went out of their way to avoid her, not wanting to bring shame to their families even just through association. A girl was only worth as much as the reputation of their family after all. While most fathers wanted to see their daughters happily married, they were just as likely to use the marriage to the benefit of themselves and/or their families. A pretty, well-manner daughter could be married off to a family higher up the social ladder in exchange for access to better grazing lands, superior breeding animals, and fertile fields, not to mention the dowry itself.
Unfortunately, some of the adults weren't much better. She remembered their frowning faces, whispering about how uncivilized she was. How barbaric, for a young girl to be raised outside her role. How no man would ever take such a heathen as his wife. They whispered of dark rituals and demons, of blood sacrifices and other sinister deeds, deep in the darkness of the forest...
She didn't care though. In fact, she'd never been happier. From that day on, her mornings were spent at Papa's side as they meditated. Moving slowly, precisely, in the pre-dawn light. Their breathing as controlled as their bodies and bird calls the only sounds as they glided through the different motions and poses, her own actions a near perfect replica of his. The smells of the trees and grass and flowers had surrounded her, soothing in their familiarity.
She also remembered moving alongside him, stalking silently as they hunted in the Deep Woods. She remembered shooting her first deer, a small two prong buck that had fed the family for weeks. She remembered fishing on the river bank while Papa told stories about the Old Days. She remembered trapping in the winter, snaring her first white ermine and the pretty hide Papa had helped her work. She remembered gathering wild foods and herbs to bring home to Mama, who would then teach her how to use everything they found. She remembered fresh baked breads and mince pies and spicy pepper jellies. She remembered staying up on the solstices, the cherry blossoms in spring, the harvest festivals...
She remembered this last winter, the look of surprise when she'd presented Mama with a pair of rabbit fur-lined boots that she had made herself in secret.
Boots Mama had been wearing when the group of men had shown up…
'Mama… Papa...'
Shrinking away from the memories, she whimpered softly as she retreated back into the darkness, curling in on herself. For some reason, it seemed.. less cold now than it had been earlier. Leather and earth invaded her senses along with... something else.
Something new. Something powerful.
Something primal.
The wind whispered a haunting melody, and she dreamed of wolfsong and starry skies as she returned to the void.
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