All I have, all I need

He's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands

Still I'm searching for something

Out of breath, I am left

Hoping someday I'll breathe again

Sara Bareilles, "Breathe Again"

Relena watched Heero from the couch as he dressed in front of the fire. She turned her eyes away shyly when he caught her glimpse, as if she shouldn't be watching what he was doing. Even if he had just done a whole bunch of things to her…

"Here." She looked up as Heero handed over her discarded clothes. She blushed and glanced around the room, even though she was positive they were alone, before she pulled on her bra and underwear, followed by her sweater and jeans. Why did she feel so bashful, dressing in front of Heero, when moments before, they had been stark naked and intertwined? It was almost as if, in that burst of passion, they had been different people entirely.

Relena could scarcely believe they had both caved in to their feelings like that. She hadn't even expected Heero to even kiss her, let alone…

Sex. We had sex. The reality of it struck her like a lightning bolt, and a buzz of excitement and pleasure reawakened the new, aching pulse between her legs, as if she could still feel him there.

It was difficult to comprehend that she'd had sex, period, let alone with Heero Yuy. She had always figured she would save herself for marriage, in line with her conservative upbringing. But once Heero was kissing her, his hands tangled in her hair, she felt this frenzied, desperate need to absorb him. She needed him, to feel closer to him; as close as could be. And just like that, her flimsy resolve shattered, along with her virginity.

Of course, Relena wanted to ask Heero what it meant to him, but wondered if that would be prying too much. She could tell it had taken a lot for him to open up like that.

Maybe it was the wine, she thought. Yes. Had to be the wine.

Of course, as she looked up at him, she was hoping there was much more that had drawn them together than mere alcohol. He was looking at her, too, as he finished buttoning up the dress shirt he'd worn to dinner, and came to sit back down beside her. An involuntary flush crept up her neck as he continued to gaze at her steadily, as if he were completely unaffected by what had just transpired.

"Well," she said, smiling nervously at him. "Glad we finally got that over with."

She was rewarded with his smug smile. "Yeah." He reached over and tugged on a strand of her hair, although it was no longer secured in its ponytail. He had seen to that during their… encounter.

Relena's flush raced up to her hairline as he brushed back her bangs.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Why?" she asked, wondering what he could have to be sorry about.

"If that wasn't what you envisioned..." He frowned. "I can do better, I think."

Relena had to stop herself from bursting out laughing. Was Heero Yuy having… post-performance anxiety?

"Don't worry about that," she assured him, reaching over to clasp his hands. "It was… nice." She lowered her eyes as her cheeks darkened again.

"So… you liked it, then?" Heero was still frowning, as if he didn't quite believe her.

"I did," she whispered shyly.

"Good." Silence fell between them as Relena held Heero's hands in hers, not quite sure what to do with them. That had been much easier to figure out when they were busy doing other things. Her mind raced as they sat there together, watching the last of the embers spark in the fireplace. Now what?!

Heero was absentmindedly tracing his thumb over her fingers, and Relena allowed herself to relax. At least he was continuing to show affection toward her; she had half-expected him to revert to his stoic soldier's nature, but was grateful that, at last, some walls seemed to have fallen between them.

The fireplace went dark as Relena's head dipped against Heero's shoulder and her eyes fluttered closed. She could have drifted off to sleep right then and there, but his voice called her to attention.

"Relena…"

"Mmm?" She peered up at him lazily through half-open eyes.

He was frowning again. "I think it goes without saying that we have to be more careful."

"What?" Relena's eyes snapped up at him, and she sat up straight. "Don't even start, Heero..."

"Start what?"

"Start making excuses for why we shouldn't be together." She glared at him. "Well, it's too late now. You should have thought about that before deciding to… to put yourself inside me." She tossed the words out in defiance, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

She was newly irritated when Heero started laughing, a deep, rumbling, masculine sound. "It's not funny," she scolded.

"I know." He stopped chuckling, but his eyes still gleamed. "I was there Relena, remember? I participated."

"Yes, you did, didn't you?" Relena seethed. "And you obviously enjoyed yourself. Why do you have to go and spoil it?"

"I didn't mean to," Heero said, recovering his features. "I'm just saying that we should be careful. It was my fault this time. I won't let it happen again."

Relena's temper flared. "Heero," she started angrily, "call me crazy, but I thought we just shared something special. I do not appreciate your dismissing it so casually."

He gaped at her. "Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I m-"

"Relena," Heero cut in. "I don't know what you're so upset about. I was just saying I should have worn a condom. I'm sorry; I wasn't prepared. I… wasn't expecting this."

"Oh." Relena's eyes widened at the realization. "Right…"

"I won't be so careless next time."

She smiled in relief. Next time…

"But just in case, you should think about… maybe taking something." Heero shifted beside her.

"Oh..." Relena's hands flew over her abdomen, wondering if a baby could be forming inside her at that very moment. "I hadn't thought of that." She mentally kicked herself; why hadn't she? Of course, she had been swept up in the moment, not that it was a good excuse...

"A pregnancy could complicate the procedure."

"How?" Relena wondered.

Heero frowned. "Well, it would complicate things for you."

"You mean for us, right?" Relena said in reproach.

"Right," Heero amended. "I was just thinking of your body, not-"

"I bet you were," she teased.

"Well, yeah." He gave her a tiny smirk.

Relena grasped Heero's arm and smiled up at him, wanting to tell him that she wouldn't mind having his babies, but knowing how absurd that would sound, coming from a girl three months shy of her seventeenth birthday.

"And… when are we supposed to undergo this… procedure?" she asked, trying to avoid the terms "freezing" or "frozen" or "cryostasis" or "genesis" for the time being. It all sounded so… creepy.

"Spring or summer. I don't think the exact date has been decided."

"I wonder if we can at least wait until after my birthday?" Relena sighed. "I know it sounds childish, but it would be nice to have one last party, with everyone I know." She looked at Heero wistfully.

"I'm sure it's a possibility," he said.

"And, I need to go visit my mother in Japan…" Her voice trailed off as she thought of all the people she wanted to see, all the things she wanted to do, before saying goodbye to life as she knew it.

Forever.

She sat there glumly for a while before she realized Heero was tapping her on the shoulder.

"Relena," he murmured. "You should get some sleep."

"Oh. Right." She yawned and stretched, as if on cue, before settling back against him. "Let's just stay here. It's nice and cozy."

"And not very private," Heero added.

"Well." Relena's eyes danced up at him. "That didn't stop you earlier, did it?"

"Yeah… I'll have to erase the surveillance footage later."

Relena instantly paled. "What?"

"Come on." Heero stood and offered his hand. Relena lingered for a few seconds before taking it and allowing him to pull her to her feet, although she swayed slightly. Maybe the wine was still having an effect, but she felt lightheaded and exhausted.

Heero's hands gripped her waist. "Do you need me to carry you?"

"No." Relena placed her hands on his chest. "I mean, yes."

She let out a squeal as Heero picked her up unceremoniously and carted her off toward the stairs.

Relena still couldn't believe Heero Yuy was lying next to her.

Her stomach was a bundle of butterflies as he stirred beside her. She had never shared a bed with anyone before. A heady rush of emotions coursed through her as his arms wrapped around her from behind, holding her tight against him. They were both bare again, and Relena relished the sensation of his skin pressed against hers. He was so warm, his breath tickling her ear and neck as she listened to him doze off peacefully, his head tucked into her shoulder.

Relena had been sleepy earlier, but now she was full of nervous excitement. She wanted to wake Heero up so they could continue kissing and touching each other all night. They had already done quite a bit of exploring this previously uncharted territory together, but she didn't want to stop. She didn't think she could ever get enough.

Her insides did a flip-flop. She had discovered something new and thrilling, and she didn't want it to end. How could she agree to be put to sleep for the next several decades, knowing what she knew now? She had always thought she'd led a pretty charmed life, despite losing both her birth parents and then her foster father at a young age, and being thrust into the political spotlight without having much say in the matter. Even still, she knew she had been raised in privilege, and had always been given far more than she needed or deserved.

But now, she had found something much bigger than her own peculiar existence; something she felt, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she had been put on the planet to do. It infused her life with meaning, filled her with hope, peace and divine purpose, sifted her and changed her and shook her to her core.

Love.

She loved Heero Yuy with every fiber of her being. She loved him undeniably, unreservedly, irrevocably.

She had always loved him. That was true. That love had been there from the beginning, a rose blooming inexplicably among briars. Now, that love had grown verdant, its spines winding around her heart. It was different, and new; she was new. She was no longer just herself; she and Heero were one. They were flesh, blood, veins and marrow. His heart beat; hers throbbed. He breathed out; she breathed him in. He spoke, and she trembled; kissed, and she succumbed. How could she take another breath, think another thought, utter another sentence without him invading her mind, overtaking her very self? The idea of a solitary moment without him, between now and eternity, was maddening.

And then how could she, knowing, feeling all of this, agree to have her life, her essence, silenced? Relena tried to dispel the fears that loomed ahead as she nestled against Heero, tuning in to the steady sound of his breathing. But one question lingered as she struggled to quiet her mind long enough to rest for the night.

Would her love continue to flourish in her breast when she slept in that frozen chamber?

Later, when Relena woke again, it was to the smell of coffee.

She yawned and stretched her arms high above her head before sitting up and rubbing her eyes open. She didn't even know what time it was, but from the bright light streaming in through her white lace curtains, it had to be late morning. Relena wasn't usually one to sleep late but, then, there was a first time for everything.

She shivered and pulled her duvet up to her chin, then turned her head to see Heero sitting in an armchair in a nearby corner, fully dressed and engrossed in his tablet. His clothes were slightly rumpled now, along with his hair, an adorable contrast to his stark masculinity. Relena smiled in his direction and then sniffed the air. The source of the heavenly scent was a mug on her bedside table. She saw Heero already had a cup of his own, and her heart thrilled over the gesture.

"You brought me coffee," she said with a grin. He looked up from his tablet and smiled wryly.

"Yeah, well, I had to wake you up eventually." He set his device down and stood, walking over and sitting next to her on the bed. "Sorry I couldn't let you sleep longer."

She blinked at him over her coffee cup. "Why, what's going on?"

"There's another storm coming, but we have enough of a window to miss it, if we leave soon."

"Why do we have to leave already?" She frowned at him. "Where would we go?"

Heero looked at her blankly. "Back to Brussels."

"But, why?" Relena pressed.

"Une wants to have a meeting about this… mission." He turned his face away from hers. Relena bit her lower lip, unable to hide her disappointment.

"But… I thought all of this was still kind of far-off. We don't really have to worry about it for a few more months, right?"

"It would be good for you to get an overview sooner rather than later," Heero said evenly. Relena followed his gaze; he seemed to be looking out the windows, but not at anything in particular. She sighed and leaned back against her pillows.

"I'm still on vacation, you know..." She pouted at him.

"You don't have to go back to work, if you don't want." Heero tipped his head back to look at her. "This would just be a briefing."

"And a conference call won't suffice?" Relena asked, already knowing the answer.

"No." Heero shook his head once. "This is too sensitive."

"Right," she said glumly. "That's what my brother said, too."

Heero shrugged his shoulder. "Maybe you could ask to reschedule."

"No, that wouldn't be fair to everyone else involved." Relena took a long sip of her coffee, savoring the warmth and flavor. Heero had added cream and sugar, which she usually skipped, but the sweetness was starting to improve her mood. "I guess we could come back here, afterward, maybe?"

Heero frowned. "That wouldn't be advisable. It's not safe for you to be in any one place for too long."

"Now, that's just silly." Relena paused to sip more of her coffee. "This place is a fortress, and even more secure with you around. Besides, who would bother coming after me all the way up here?"

Heero gaped at her. "Says the person who was kidnapped a week ago. Not to mention, nearly assassinated here, last year. Or have you forgotten already?"

"No," Relena muttered, trying to hide her face behind her coffee mug.

"Relena, I don't want to scare you." Heero shifted where he sat so that he was closer to her. "But there are people out there who want you dead. And will go to whatever lengths necessary to make that happen."

Relena refrained from uttering a sarcastic retort, and instead said simply, "Yes, I know." Her brows lifted as she tipped her coffee cup back and drained it. "And?"

"And?" Heero looked at her squarely. "I'm not going to let that happen. But that will mean making some tough judgment calls at times."

"I know." Relena set her mug down on the end table and reached for his hands. "I appreciate that, Heero, I really do. But… can't we cut back on the doom and gloom, frozen peapod talk, just for a little while? I was actually quite enjoying our little staycation before this came up… I mean, apart from my near-drowning, and that whole business with the stair drills, which are a cruel and unusual form of punishment, by the way."

Heero stared at her for a beat, then his chest began to rumble. Relena couldn't help but laugh, too, reveling in the deep, mirthful timbre his voice made as it filled the room. She liked knowing that she seemed to possess the ability to unlock Heero's humorous side, which she suspected had been tucked away for a while. It was as good as discovering one had a superpower, she thought; even better, because hers involved resurrecting the sealed emotions of a veritable superhuman.

Her skills in that area became abundantly clear when, as their laughter subsided, Heero leaned over and kissed her. Relena took her time kissing him back, fully enjoying the feel of his lips against hers. They were surprisingly soft. After a moment, they broke apart, and Heero gave her hair a playful tug.

"Stop making me do that," he said, his bright eyes betraying the stern tone of his voice.

"You started it," Relena teased, giving his chest a poke.

"You made me," he retorted, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Anyway, as much as I'd like to keep going…" His smile faltered. "We have unfinished business in Brussels."

"We have unfinished business here." She grinned and leaned her back against her pillows, motioning for Heero to join her.

She wasn't prepared for him to pluck off her covers, exposing her for the world to see. Which, at the moment, was him and only him. And that new, yet familiar thrill rushed through her once again as his eyes dragged over her body, and he inched toward her.

"If you insist…"

Relena closed her eyes, relishing every sensation as Heero's hands found their way into her hair, and his mouth closed over hers.

A/N: Hello lovelies, I have nothing to add but... Happy Thirsty Thursday ;) I hope you enjoyed what is possibly my mushiest chapter yet. Don't worry, there's more fluff to come... if you can stomach it. Please let me know what you think!

Love and hugs (and Heero)!

- RFP