XIX

Remembrance

Belle set the small basket of flowers on the long dining table in the Great Hall and rubbed her hands briskly over her arms. It had been much warmer in the greenhouse where she'd spent the better part of the last hour choosing blooms to brighten up the library. Yet, it wasn't a cold permeating the Dark Castle which she associated with the frigid temperatures on the mountain in the dead of winter. No, this one, she knew, had to do with her master's melancholy. The past several days it had grown steadily worse, and nothing she seemed to do could bring him out of it.

Rumpelstiltskin's appetite had dwindled, even his favorite meals she painstakingly prepared couldn't tempt him. He would spin for hours, declining her offers to read to him. He'd moved a spare spinning wheel and a worktable into the library to be close to her – not that he'd ever admit it – yet a chasm had opened between them and she had no clue as to how to bridge the distance and reach him once more. She missed him.

She looped her arm through the handle of the basket, smoothed her skirt and left the hall, trekking up the stairs to her library. The flowers would add a needed splash of color to her sanctuary, and the thought helped lift her mood. Pushing the door open at the bottom of the stairs leading up, her mind drifted back to her master. If only there was something she could do to help him, she mused. The breath caught in her throat as she entered the room, surprised to find Rumpelstiltskin already there.

She could smell the sulfur from the long taper he used to light the lone beeswax candle on the table, but it was his words which made her heart pulse with sympathy.

"Too many years to count, Bae … but I've counted every one."

His son. Her teeth clamped lightly over her lower lip to quell the tears which pricked at her eyes. Her poor master. He turned sharply, his eyes not quite meeting hers, and she regretted intruding on his private moment. "I'm so sorry, Master. I-I didn't know you were in here," she said softly, the basket on her arm sliding down to her hands.

Rumpelstiltskin ducked his head, his voice rough. "Go away."

"I'll uh … just put these flowers down," she nodded in want of something better to say.

He rounded the table and made a dismissive gesture with his hand, impatient to have her gone. "Go. Away."

Belle set the basket on the table, wishing there was something she could do to comfort him. When she made no move to leave, he wet his fingertips and doused the candle, hiding it away on the shelf beneath the table. It was then she noticed the shawl she'd found in his son's room, the one which had been hidden away in the hope chest. Her fingers curled into the soft fabric. "I'm so sorry," she apologized again. "It was a remembrance, wasn't it? How old would he be?"

She caught a glimpse of his soul-deep pain as he finally raised his gaze to hers. "He's not dead. Just lost," he snapped.

Her brow furrowed. "Lost?"

Rumpelstiltskin's fingers settled over the shawl, stroking reverently. "Today is his birthday. I should be with him … celebrating. We had a chance to be happy together, but I was afraid."

Belle knew what it must have cost him to share that little bit of himself with her. He guarded his secrets close to his chest, never letting anyone close enough to see his anguish and take advantage of his vulnerability. Because even the Dark One could be vulnerable at times. He was so filled with self-loathing it made her heart ache. She closed her hand over his, allowing her warmth to seep into his fingers. "Maybe it's not too late."

"I hope not. Now … my ending shall not be a happy one." He pulled his hand from beneath hers and moved to his spinning wheel, his long elegant fingers turning the wheel idly as his head dipped, his chin coming to rest against his chest.

She followed, pressing a hand between his shoulder blades as she laid her head against his back, offering what comfort she could. He tensed, but didn't ask her to stop. "Don't say that. Everyone deserves a happy ending, Master."

The mage huffed a bitter laugh. "Centuries of misdeeds are bound to catch up with me sooner or later, dearie." He sighed. "Go. I need to be alone, Belle."

She stepped into his line of sight, a sad smile playing at her rosebud mouth. "You know I'm here for you, Rumpelstiltskin." She gave his hand a little squeeze. "I'll see you at dinner."

Belle left him alone as he'd requested, an idea forming in her clever mind as to how to make him feel a little better.

*.*.*

Later that evening, Rumpelstiltskin forced himself to trudge down the stairs to the Great Hall for the meal Belle would be serving. He wasn't hungry, but he was coming to hate the days he glimpsed disappointment or sadness in the girl's eyes. Especially if he were the cause. His mercurial moods couldn't be good for her. He arched a brow as he entered to find the hall empty, no sign of his little maid or his dinner. His gaze flickered to the mantel, taking note of the time as the ornate gold clock struck the dinner hour.

He didn't bother calling for her. It wasn't worth a little teasing or a scolding. He just didn't have it in him that evening. His depression had reached an all-time low, apparently. What could be keeping her? He made his way down the corridor to the kitchens, but wasn't prepared for what he found. She was wearing her prettiest dress, the forest green velvet he'd slipped into her wardrobe weeks ago. The small kitchen table was adorned with a pristine white tablecloth, flowers and candles, two bowls of hearty lamb stew – his absolute favorite comfort food – at each place setting. But it was the small chocolate cake off to the side with the words 'Happy Birthday, Baelfire' which had him gasping to catch his breath.

"Master?" she murmured softly, taking his hand in hers.

"What is all this?"

Belle ducked her head sheepishly. "A celebration … for your son."

He gulped loudly around the lump forming in his throat. "You did this –"

"For you," she finished for him. "To apologize for my interruption earlier. A-And to let you know I care, Rumpelstiltskin. Very much."

A/N: I always loved this scene from 03x11 (probably the only thing I liked about this episode TBH). He gave her a brief glimpse of his pain, letting her in just a bit. So, of course, I couldn't resist adding to this scene. I hope you enjoyed it :D and thanks so much for reading!