Talking in Her Sleep - Astrid needs to think, and a hibernating Stormfly won't judge.
I'm just glad you're here, Stormfly.
Even if we can't understand each other sometimes. Well, all the time, I guess, considering you can't speak Norse and I can't speak, well, whatever dragons speak - and also, you're hibernating and I'm not, obviously. But it's just nice to have someone…here, you know.
It's just…I've got way too much on my mind, I guess. About everything. Getting to know you - not just you, dragons in general - for who you really are, dealing with the winter and everything that comes with it - it's been a lot and I haven't had the time to stop and think about any of it.
Gods, where do I start?
Hiccup. I… I'm not even sure where to start with him. It's just, well, when it comes to him, I don't know anymore. It's - he's a confusing whirlwind of emotions that I don't know how to make sense of. He… I don't know, girl.
You know, when we were young, we... I don't know, were we friends? I mean, we never called ourselves that, but we - he never really minded either.
He was…he wasn't like the rest of them, girl. He wasn't focused only on brute force and strength like the other kids - he was actually smart and quick-witted and funny to boot. And he actually cared. I still remember running around the forest with him, playing tag I think - just the two of us.
But I made the decision that I had to 'grow up'. Meet and exceed the expectations everyone set for me. Fight to climb the social ladder for my family. Become a Viking. And anything that didn't fit my definition of a Viking was unworthy of my respect. And that, well, that included Hiccup.
I ignored him, thought of him as the runt everyone else saw him as, but I don't think I ever really managed that. I think I managed to convinced myself.
But I don't think I-I'll ever forget seeing him crying to himself in the empty smithy on his tenth birthday.
I'm not even sure if he remembers that.
He… he's something else, girl. Different. And you know me, girl - I'm not usually a fan of different. And I'm not even sure what different's supposed to mean. Confident. Cared for. Like I can let my guard down for once in my life since I decided I just had to be a Viking.
Storm, I'm a warrior. I've tried to fight. But I don't want to hurt him anymore.
I want to make it up to him - at least, try - but I don't know how. I mean, I guess we're friends again now, but I don't know if he forgives me. I don't know if I would. Hel, I'm not even sure what he thinks - feels - of me anymore.
Does he even remember it? The kiss, after he woke up? I don't even know if he does; he hasn't said a thing about it. It's almost like it never happened.
Storm, if only you could hear me. You'd be laughing at me, at how I don't know how to handle any of this.
When are you going to wake up?
I miss flying with you, girl. I miss flying. You know, I never realized how limiting it is to be ground-bound until I flew. I guess that applies to lots of things in my life at the moment.
Gods, Stormfly, I don't know what to do and I don't know if that's okay. But at least you're here for me, girl, and that's all I can ask for, I guess.
I'll go try and get some sleep now. Wake up soon, girl. And sleep well.
A/N: Remember 'Midnight Whispers'? Yeah, this is its spiritual successor. Well, technically it is its successor in most every way, but I never figured out how to flesh it out properly to make it a full fic so I'm publishing what I have as a sort of little character study of Astrid, set sometime after the Battle of the Red Death (with Stormfly being in hibernation). Enjoy, I guess.