PART ONE.
Patsy lay sound asleep all night, she looked so peaceful curled up next to me that I did not have the heart to wake her. Not that I particularly wanted too. It was still dark out, with just the rise of orange light casting shadows upon the wall. I believe my sleeping companion may have been dreaming because I noticed her eye lids fluttering. I hope whatever she was dreaming was something good and nice. As I petted her soft red hair, she let out a breathy coo, while she slept. Closing my own eyes, I felt the pull of sleep too.
Half dazed, I began to see moving pictures playing in front of my eyes; are they memories? Or just dreams? I could no longer tell. I found myself in a small room, which was almost completely empty. Apart from two sideboard-dressers covered over with sheets. If I'm honest, it seemed quite dusty. No. It was dirty and looked like it hadn't seen a mop and a good bleaching in awhile. Hung in the window was a piece of net curtain that was torn, and had turned almost black. No amount of hot water and mending would repair that net. There was something that did catch my eye, a pretty little jug covered in cobwebs. I could feel my heart beating faster at the sight of it. When all of sudden, I felt someone touch me. An arm threaded itself around my shoulder. Who was standing there with me? I tried to look up, I desperately wanted to see the figure holding me. I forced myself to move my head, but the figure's face was a blur. I felt the room begin to spin and I did not like it.
At that my eyes snapped open from the deep sleep, I had just awoken from. I let out a gasp. My heart was beating rapidly and my breath was shallow. Without thinking I grabbed Patsy's hand. I needed to ground myself and she felt the safest thing in the room to me. She too began to slowly open her eyes. She stared at me for a long moment, as a wide smile spread across her face. Glancing to our hands interlocked, she softly spoke, with hope. 'Delia?'
My brain could not click into gear and I had lost all knowledge of what correct words to speak. As she repeated, 'Delia?'
Sitting up, with her free hand. She cupped my face, still with a smile. I could feel her soft fingertips rub gently against my cheek.
'Nurse Patsy.' I managed to mumble, and her hand quickly fell from my face, as well as her expression.
'I was dreaming.' I tried to tell her but my words would not come out fast enough.
As the door swung open and a blonde woman entered into the room. Immediately, I noticed Patsy stiffen. Her shoulders became tense. Who was this woman, and why did her mere presence cause Patsy to have this reaction? I began to feel uncomfortable myself as she looked at us both with a kind smile, 'I thought I might find you here.' She locked her eyes on Patsy.
'I must have lost track of the time.' She replied, getting up from the bed patting down her red hair.
I still wanted to explain my dream to her, but her full attention was now upon this blonde stranger. I turned to Patsy, but her whole demeanor had seem to change. Even the soft tone of her voice was now replaced with more authority. I noticed the blonde woman coming closer to the bed with pity radiating from her eyes.
'Good morning, Delia. How are you feeling?' She was about to reach for my hand, but I pulled back sharply. I did not know who she even was.
'It's alright.' She smiled, looking to Patsy now.
'Deels, this is Trixie. She is our friend.' Patsy nodded, but I think she knew that I did not remember her.
"I don't know anyone called Trixie." I folded my arms stubbornly. Since this girl had been in the room, Patsy had moved so far away from me, she was practically leaning against the wall. I frowned at Patsy until she began to bite her lip nervously.
'Deels?' She spoke more softly, finally stepping toward my bed again, 'You've known her for about one year now. She is a fellow nurse and midwife, like myself and she lives at Nonnatus house, where I too live.' Patsy did her best to explain but I was still frowning.
'Forgive me, Delia.' Trixie smiled warmly at me, as she continued, 'I should have properly introduced myself.' Giving me a sympathetic nod, she reached for my hand again. I could see the anxiety upon Patsy's face, waiting for my reaction.
I was still trying to digest all of the new information I was just given to show any kind of response. I could feel my head begin to pound with all of the questions; this girl holding my hand, is my friend? Patsy is a midwife? Why did Patsy seem to change around me in front of this Trixie? What was that room in my dream? So many questions, with not one single answer coming to mind.
Retracting my hand away from Trixie's hold, I could feel my mood turning into rage. I resented the fact that strangers knew more about my life than I did. Curling my fingers into fists, I hit them with all my might against the blankets, causing Patsy to flinch.
'It's OK.' The blonde reached for my arm, but I pushed her off.
'Delia?' Patsy's voice trembled, as she turned as white as a sheet, with fear written all across her face.
'I do not remember who you are. Can you please not touch me.' I snapped at the blonde.
'I am frightfully sorry.' The poor girl apologized, backing away from me. I instantly felt the pang of regret over my voilent outburst.
'Why don't I get us all a nice cup of tea, and Patsy here, can calm you down, Okay?' The blonde left us to it, touching Patsy on the shoulder before she left.
'She doesn't have to patronize me.' My anger quickly returned at her choice of words, 'I'm not stupid.' I spat, pointing to the door.
'Calm me down, indeed.' I mocked, as Patsy seemed frozen to the spot.
'Trixie means well, Deels. I just don't think she quite understood, how...difficult things would be for you.' I looked at her face more closely, she always had a way of knowing just what to say to make me feel better.
'And you say she is my friend?' I quipped with sarcasm, as she shot me a playful look.
'Yes. She is a very dear friend of both of ours.' Patsy soothed, 'I can't imagine what you must be going through.' She sighed sincerely, as I reached for her hand.
'What was her name again?' I asked.
'Trixie.' Patsy nodded, using her thumb to caress the back of my knuckles. 'In all the years I have known you, Deels. I have never seen you lose your temper, violently before.' She bowed her head with sorrow.
'Did I... frighten you?' I asked, licking my lips with trepidation.
'No more than you usually do, when I have upset you.' She tried to make light of it, which I really appreciated.
'Oh, you upset me, do you?' I couldn't help but laugh.
'It has been known.' Patsy giggled, 'But I always make it up to you.' She glanced down to our interlocked fingers with shyness.
Ready to speak my reply, when the door opened again. It certainly felt like a busy morning; mam came bustling into the room, muttering but she stopped in her tracks and glared at Patsy standing there besides my bed. Her eyes darted to our held hands. I could feel Patsy's hand pulling away under mam's scrutiny, but I gripped onto her tighter. I liked the way her hand seem to fit in mine. My anger seemed to vanish when she was this close.
'Morning mam.' I smiled.
'I didn't know you had company, cariad?' Her voice did not sound as caring as it usually does. It had lost most of its warmth.
'Good morning, Mrs Busby.' Patsy smiled, I was learning fast when nurse Patsy's smiles were genuine and when they were fake. This one was definitely forced.
An unspoken tension seemed to take over the room, as they silently stared at one another. Like a seeming stand-off. Trixie's return into the room, carrying a tray of tea, finally broke their stare.
'Oh? Hello.' Trixie muttered, with surprise.
'Hello dear.' Mam sounded more friendly to my supposed pal, Trixie than she did to my best friend Patsy.
'I assume you are Delia's mother?' She smiled, placing down the tray upon the table, 'I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance.' She gracefully took my mam's hand into her own, 'I'm nurse Franklin. Delia's friend, but please call me, Trixie.'
'Please to meet you too dear.' She looked her over, I don't know what she was thinking, but it certainly looked like she approved of her.
'Please feel free to take my cup of tea, Mrs Busby.' Trixie offered, as she too glanced at my hand in Patsy's.
'How very kind of you, dear.' Mam nodded, turning to face me, 'Cariad? What do you say to the nice nurse?'
I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. Picking me up on my manners in front of my friends, like that. I would of quite rightly said my thanks, if she would of given me the chance.
Finally letting go of Patsy's hand, I reached for my tea with a very softly spoken, thank you.
Trixie and my mam began to talk amongst themselves, but my attention was firmly upon a quiet Patsy, still standing beside me. As ours eyes met, she gave me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.
'They sure like to talk, don't they?' I whispered close to her ear, as she began to giggle.
When the blonde girl, Trixie suddenly looked at me. Her voice laced with a tinge of sadness. 'Oh, I did not know you were going home to Wales today, Delia? We will miss you.'
From the sharp turn of Patsy's head, neither did she, as she uttered, 'Today?'
'Yes.' Mam nodded firmly, 'The doctor thinks it will do her good, being around familiar surroundings of her home.'
'Her home is here.' Patsy interjected, but mam completely ignored her and carried on speaking regardless.
'She needs looking after, every hour god sends. I have got to go over to the nurses home and collect all of her things.' Mam shook her head, as I listened to her words. I lived in a home for nurses? I have things that needed to be collected? It never even occurred to me that I own clothes. Foolish really. I turned to look at Patsy, I needed to feel that grounded feeling again. That I wasn't alone as I felt, but when I stared into her pretty eyes, she looked as lost as I did.
'We can help you, Mrs Busby with all of Delia's possessions.' Trixie nodded firmly.
'No.' Patsy's voice raised in volume, 'I should be the one to pack away all of her belongings.' I noticed her sigh, as if she was trying to compose herself, before she continued, purposefully trying to make her tone brighter, 'I have once lived along side, Deels at the nurses home. So I know the lay out better than Trixie, who has never been there.' She nodded to mam, who gave a begrudging nod of her own in return.
'Okay, dear. Shall we head over there now?' Mam fixed her eyes on Patsy.
'Of course.' She replied, as I made a reach for her hand, 'See you in a little while, Deels.'
I tried so very hard to catch her eye, but she refused to look me. I was sure I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she left the room with mam.
'It's quite alright, Delia. I will keep you company in the meantime.' Trixie grabbed a firm hold of my hand, and this time I didn't want to let it go.
I needed a friend.
A/N - Thank you as always. Part two soon. x