Hey Emma

No tutoring tonight? Rose just emailed us. Are you alright?

Good morning

Lunch today?

Emma

Swan, are you ignoring me?

definitely ignoring me

Maybe it's cowardly, but I ignore his texts the rest of the week. When Mary Margaret asks me about Tuesday, I change the subject. I even went so far as to cancel my tutoring sessions on Wednesdays to be sure I wouldn't see him. I feel bad about it but I needed some space.

I'm thinking I should have cancelled today too since only one person showed up. After an hour of reading (my pirate and princess novel if I'm being honest), Rose comes over and tells me I can leave early. "I'll take them if anyone shows up."

So I pack up my stuff and shrug on my red leather jacket, waving goodbye to Rose as I exit the library...and run directly into Killian, nearly falling over.

"Emma!" He steadies me.

"Oh...hey," I say lamely, sidestepping him and walking toward my dorm. There's a chill in the air, the weather finally starting to change to fall in Maine. Or maybe it's just a storm brewing if the dark clouds overhead are any indication. Either way, I tug the zipper of my jacket higher, speeding up my pace to avoid rain and Killian.

"Swan? Come on. Talk to me." I slow down slightly but keep my face turned away from him, set in a hard expression. Suddenly his hand reaches out, gripping my elbow. "Don't tell me you're not ignoring me anymore, because I'm actually quite perceptive"

And now I feel more terrible but how can I keep being around him with him being so damn likable. "Sorry, it's just..." I finally look at him, his features are set with annoyance but his eyes look hurt. I take a deep breath, my will softening. So I touch his hand, still on my elbow, and say, with genuine feeling this time, "I'm sorry. I'm dealing with something right now and you got in the middle of it. It wasn't fair to ignore you." Then I gently tug my arm out of his grip and start toward my dorm again, but very slowly this time so he understands he can follow.

"Dealing with something?" He asks incredulously. I just nod. "Alriiiiight," he draws out the word, maybe hoping for more specifics. Yeah, good luck buddy. A few moments silence before he says conversationally "Well thanks to your cancellation on Wednesday, I probably failed a quiz today. So just know that's on your shoulders."

I gape at him, my turn to sound incredulous as I get out, "how do you figure that? It's your class. How is it my fault-" he presses his lips together to contain a grin, unsuccessfully. I shove his shoulder, hard, and he starts laughing.

"Kidding, kidding. Though I probably only scraped a 'c'." He contains his laughter long enough to give me an earnest look with big, puppy dog eyes, "I studied for hours on my own. It's just not the same without you."

"I should let you fail," I say loftily, suppressing my own smile as we approach my dorm "but think of my reputation."

"Ah yes, the Savior of Grades, the Hero of the GPA, guaranteed to boost you one whole letter grade at least. Don't worry, Swan, I'm not actively trying to bring you down." I swipe my key fob and Killian opens the door for me to pass through. There he goes being nice again.

We move up the stairs, I go first so I can avoid looking at him again. It's probably best I look at him as little as possible until I can clamp down on these wayward tendrils of feelings.

"What are we doing here, Swan?"

"That depends. Do you have your calculus stuff with you?" We pass through the door to my floor and I wave to Anna, the girl with the room across from mine, as she passes us with a basket of laundry.

"Not my book, but I have my notes and the ones you loaned me." I unlock my door and wave him inside, nodding.

I slowly unload my bag, putting all my things away. Then I hang my jacket up in my closet and kick off my boots. "Great, then we'll work on that for a while." I pick up some pencils and a notebook, preparing to tutor. At his silence I finally look at him again. He's leaning against my desk with his arms crossed, watching me.

When I meet his gaze, he smiles, "is there a reason you won't look at me." Jesus, why am I so transparent to this guy?

"Nope," I sit on the futon, waiting for him. I think he shakes his head disbelievingly but I'm focusing on the paper in my lap and can't see him that well. He sits down, pulling his notebooks from his worn satchel, and for a while, everything feels normal. We just work through the notes he's taken and I give him sample problems from my old notes. Rain starts beating against my window with increasing fervor the longer we study.

After about two hours or so, I feel like he's really got a handle on the easy and mid-level complexity equations and lean back against the couch. "That's great. I don't think you're going to have nearly as many problems from now on. You've really got it." I smile and he leans back too, looking pleased.

"Thanks, love, you've been such a huge help." He rubs a hand over his face and through his hair, making it more pleasantly disheveled. Please stop. "Haven't got any rum, have you? To celebrate?"

I roll my eyes, "'fraid not. How bout a beer?" I don't like keeping anything stronger than Bud in my room since most of my girls are 18.

"Perfect."

I retrieve two beers from my mini-fridge and hand him one as I sit on the futon again, maybe just a little closer than we'd been before. Killian puts his calculus stuff back in hid bag then twists the top off the beer. "Cheers" he says and holds the bottle up to mine.

Our bottles clink as I tap mine to his. I take a long sip, studying him out of the corner of my eye. When my eyes fall on his bag and the patch with the initials, I have to ask, "what's L.J.?"

He raises an eyebrow, confused, so I point to his bag on the floor between us. "Oh, it's Liam Jones. It was my brother's bag."

"He gave it to you?"

"Not exactly," he gulps his drink and watches me, looking like he's deciding something. When he lowers the bottle, he continues, "but I did obtain all of Liam's things five years ago." My confusion must show because he smiles sadly, "he died, Emma."

Open mouth, insert foot. I'm literally the worst friend, either ignoring him or bringing up dead loved ones. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I wasn't trying to bring up-"

He cuts me off, "it's fine, love. You couldn't have known." He still looks so sad though. I reach out and touch his hand without thinking about it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

As he did the last time I asked him that question, about Milah that time, he looks anxious and hopeful and this time no one knocks on my door so I get his answer. "Sure," he swallows hard, looking away from me, at the satchel, "Liam was my whole family. My mother died when I was very young and my father abandoned us not long after. No other family to speak of, so Liam and I bounced around from one bad group home to the next until he was old enough to enter the royal navy.

He cared for me my whole life, keeping me out of trouble and teaching me all the things a father should. All through my secondary school years, Liam and I had an apartment together and it might have been small and dark, but it was a home."

He smiles at some memory and then finally looks back up at me, "Liam was a lot like your charming brother; honorable, hard-working, stubborn, always willing to help others" The light of his smile fades as he continues, "When I was nearly eighteen, Liam was out at sea, working an extra shift for one of his mates. He wasn't supposed to be working that day. He had a severe allergic reaction to something we didn't even know he was allergic to. They couldn't save him." He's silent then, staring down at his beer bottle.

"I'm so sorry, Killian," I say quietly. I reach for his hand again, keeping it there this time. He squeezes mine gently, giving me a small smile, and another vine of affection worms its way into my heart. I want to pull away, to shield myself but, after what he told me, that would be too heartless, even for me. So I take a deep breath and say, "David and I lost our parents when we were seven." I don't say anything else. I don't need to. I know he'll understand I'm not overlooking his pain in favor of mine, just stating that I understand it. To an extent anyway.

And he must understand, because he just squeezes my hand again and doesn't say anything.

After a few moments I clear my throat, pulling away from him to stand up. I mutter a quick "bathroom" as I slip out the door.

I splash some water on face once I'm in front of a sink, mentally kicking myself. Hearing about how much he loved his dead brother did nothing to hamper any feelings I might be having for him. But how can I ignore him now? I can't.

I scowl at my reflection. Alright, I can't ignore him but I can keep my feelings in check. We'll be friends, that's it.

So I march back to my room and stand near my tv. "Wanna see what's on Netflix?"

He nods, smiling.

I settle on my bed as we debate which movie to watch, finally settling on the Princess Bride. And it's nice, spending time with someone who isn't my brother and his girlfriend.

After the movie, he stretches, giving a huge yawn. "Well, I guess I'll go. Good night, love."

He makes to stand up but, after glancing out the window to see it's still a downpour, I raise one hand, stopping him. "Did you drive to the library?" When he shakes his head, some altruistic part of me can't help blurting out, "you can't walk in that. You're welcome to sleep on my futon." And I jump up, gathering some blankets from my extra closet and shoving them at him before I can change my mind.

"Thank you," he looks surprised but takes the blankets.

"Alright then." Then I give him one of my pillows and flee to the bathroom to change into pajamas. This is something friends do for each other. This is not because I like him. Not at all.

And I almost believe myself until I walk back in my room and see him in his boxer briefs and t-shirt about to sit back down on the now made up futon. My cheeks flare up and I drop my gaze, high-tailing it to my own bed. I turn on the lamp by my bed and motion for him to hit the overhead light switch.

"Sorry, love," and I can tell he's smiling from his tone. It's enough to turn my embarrassment into annoyance. He turns off the light and lays down. "I just can't sleep in jeans."

I roll my eyes. "I think you just don't like wearing clothing." I think of how we met and how his shirts are always half unbuttoned or low v-necks.

"You got me there," he jokes, turning on his side to watch me. His grin fades, turning serious. "Thank you, Swan. I wasn't much looking forward to the trek home in this weather. I'm very grateful."

"No problem. That's what friends are for. And it's the least I could do. After ignoring you." I smile, hoping he's not mad about it.

To my relief he smiles again. "Good might, Swan."

"Night, Killian." I snap my light off, laying down. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep with him in my room but I find myself drifting off easily, enjoying the sounds of the rain and his even, deep breaths.

A/n yikes! It's been a million years since I updated. I'm sorry! I was working a lot and I got a request for another fic I'm writing and then my sister was in town. Anyway, I made this chapter longer to make up for it. I hope you like it. Sorry for torturing you guys with the last chapter. Thanks for reading, it means the world to me