PART THREE.

'Delia?'

'Hmmm?'

'Delia? I think I can see one. Look.'

'Where Judith?'

'There. It looks like a tail.'

'That isn't a mermaid.'

'How do you know?'

'Aside from the fact that mermaids aren't real, despite what your dad has said, that is clearly some seaweed.'

'Are you sure Delia?'

'Yes, you silly Billy. I'm sure.'

Am I dreaming? How did I get here? No. This isn't right. I must be dreaming, because here I am with Judith. We're both fresh faced, staring out to the vast open sea, past the cluster of fishing boats, trying to guess what secrets the ocean might be hiding. Laughing so hard that our lungs are threatening to burst. Her body coiling closer next to mine, her head resting on my shoulder.

Strange. I don't remember going home. The last thing I recall is being with Judith and Pa eating chips. I was with them, wasn't I? Or did I dream that as well?

Think! Think! Why can't I remember? Please remember, please.

"Is she OK?"

Yes! I recognise that voice. It's Judith's, but why did she sound so afraid? No. She sounded frightened.

I should reasure her, shouldn't I? If only I could open my eyes. Why did they feel so very heavy?

"Delia?"

I heard Pa's voice next. At least I know I hadn't dreamt about where we'd been, but I don't remember walking home.

"Delia? Can you hear me?" Pa asked, desperation seeping through into every syllable he had spoken.

I forced my eyes to open at the sound of his plea, and I tried to focus. I could see Judith. Her cheeks had gone pale and looked to be tear stained. Was she crying because of me?

"Don't cry." I muttered, reaching out my hand to her.

"Delia, try to keep your eyes open," Pa instructed me, as I felt Judith's fingers lace with mine, before I let my eyes flutter closed again.

Then everything seemed to be plunged into darkness. I could faintly hear Pa's voice, but the noise faded until I could see my mam's face. She looked younger, and I could hear myself calling to her. I wanted to make sure I had her attention. This must have been another misplaced memory, because she was watching me with a wide smile as I splashed around in the waves of the sea.

'Mam? Mam?' I shouted to her, as she waved at me from the beach.

'Don't go into the water any further, Cariad.' She told me with another wave of her hand.

Why must everything be so out of place? My mind felt so jumbled. Subconscious memories trying to rise to the surface, but I can't think just now. I need to rest. I'm just so very tired.

-

Where am I?

With some effort I tried to open my eyes. My eyelids felt so very heavy as I pried open one eye. To my relief I recognised my bedroom. I was home. With the knowledge I was safe, I was more than ready to let the pull of sleep overtake me once again. I began to adjust my covers when the sound of Mam's raised voice stopped me in my tracks. The volume of her tone startled me enough to make an attempt to sit up. I instantly regretted the sudden movement, as I flopped back down against my pillow and listened.

I could hear my parents discussing me. Pa must have explained to mam, what had happened on our little outing. She sounded livid. Her tone almost frantic. I wish she wouldn't worry herself like this, my seizures have been getting less frequent lately. That can only be a good sign.

"What were you thinking giving her alcohol when she's taking her seizure medication?"

"It was one drink, love and I... I just didn't think," I heard him sigh. "The doctor said she'd be fine after some rest. I just hope Judith's alright too. She had quite the shock seeing Delia have one of her spells love."

"Delia doesn't need to be getting reacquainted with the likes of her," Mam fired back.

Goodness, Judith. The poor girl must have had quite the fright. Being witness to me falling down heavier than a sack of spuds. Though I have to wonder what mam meant by 'the likes of her' remark. Could she be referring to the reason behind why me and Judith lost touch?

"She's already having bad dreams. Shouting out about water being in her watch. Delia needs to rest, not out gallivanting. Now my little girl is upstairs passed out..."

I could feel a dull ache across my chest at the sound of mam's sobs. Mam was breaking down, and it was all because of me. I had made my mam cry. I had made her heart ache with all the worry of me. With a sigh, I closed my eyes. Too many questions needed answers, and I felt so weary.

I don't remember much of their conversation after that. The next thing I was aware of was Pa sitting next to my bed, holding my hand. His watery eyes greeted me as I smiled at him.

"Have a nice sleep, melys pys?" He asked, shuffling the stool he was seated on closer to the bed.

With a nod, I sat up. "Yes." I glanced at the clock, with a yawn. "Where's mam?"

"She's preparing supper," he told me, while he helped me prop up my pillow. "She wants to build your strength up with a hearty roast. Not that you'll find me complaining. I hope you're hungry?"

"My stomach does feel a little hollow." I smiled, patting it for extra effect. My smile faded as I asked my next question. "How is Mam? I heard you talking," I confessed, as he ran his hand over his chin in thought.

One thing I've learned or maybe rediscovered by living with my parents again is that when things start taking a toll on mam, she distracts herself by cooking far more than necessary for three people. Though Mrs. Clark a few doors down is always grateful for the food she is given. Behind mam's sharp tongue hides a heart of gold.

"Ah. You heard us, did you?" He smiled, as he bowed his head. "Then you'll know that I owe you an apology."

"Whatever for?" I asked rather astonished.

"Your mam was right, melys pys. You need to rest, and I shouldn't have pushed you into going out. It was too much too soon."

"Not you as well." I gave him a wry smile. I might not have initially wanted to accompany him outside, but he had been right. I can't hide away from the world forever. If I want to truly get better, I have to be around people. I need to push my reservations aside. I have to try. I owe it to myself and the people who care about me.

He firmly shook his head. "No, Delia. The seizure you had could have been prevented. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have taken you into that pub. I shouldn't have given you alcohol. I should have known better. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. It wasn't your fault, Pa." I reclaimed his hand with my own, "Your heart was in the right place, and you're forgetting that I am capable of making my own decisions, and I actually had a pleasant day." I tried to reassure him.

"Delia I..."

"No," I interrupted. "You were right, what you said back at the pub. My life has become one big adjustment since moving back home, but I have to keeping trying. I know I still have a long way to go, and I'm not quite the Delia I was, but I need the chance to find myself again, and I can't do that if both you and Mam are worried about every little thing I do."

Pa fell silent, and for a moment I wondered if I had sounded too harsh or even ungrateful with my words. The last thing I want is to hurt them, but we can't continue to live as we were. As if we're walking on constant eggsshells, afraid that I'll break. I could feel my own apology forming until he smiled at me.

"You're one brave girl, Delia," he told me, as he kissed my forehead softly. "Though you are a Busby after all and we're made of strong stuff." Pa chuckled, "And your mam doesn't mean to fuss. You're her whole world. From the moment you were placed in her loving arms, she adored you. That woman would do anything for you. She'd walk over hot coals if it meant you'd be spared any pain, melys pys. It's our job to protect you."

Tears ran down my face at his words as I continued to listen. I was once again reminded just how lucky I am to have such devoted parents.

"Ah now," he smiled, as he wiped away the tracks of my tears with his thumb. "I know you love your mam, and this situation isn't easy for anyone. Especially you, but life doesn't give you a handbook to follow. You just have to make it up as you go along, and hope that you are doing the right thing. Just like being a parent. You have to try your best and lead with love. One day you'll understand, Delia. When you have nippers of your own. You'll know what mother's love feels like first hand."

I felt a chill creep down my spine at his words. Children meant being married. Married meant finding yourself a husband. All those things felt somehow wrong to me. How could I have a husband with my difference? How could anyone be expected to know me when I feel like a stranger to myself?

There wasn't time to dwell on the subject for long before we both turned our heads to the door, as we heard voices coming from down stairs. I instantly recognised Judith's voice, and I needed to see if she was all right.

Mam's abrupt tone quickly followed.

"She isn't really up for seeing vistors, dear." We heard her clipped tone echoing up the stairs.

"It sounds like Judith's popped by." He noted, as he got to his feet. "Do you feel up to seeing her, melys pys? She was rather upset when I walked her back home."

"I'd like to see her," I nodded, throwing back the bed covers.

As we made our way down the stairs, I could see Judith. She was stood near the front door, with her arms full. One arm held a bouquet of flowers, the other held something wrapped in newspaper. It smelt like fresh fish to me.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." Mam dashed over to me, wrapping her arm firmly around my shoulder, as she guilded me into the kitchen and into a chair.

"Hello again Judith." Pa greeted warmly.

"Hello Mr. Busby, Delia," She smiled. "As I told your mam, I hope I'm not disturbing you, and I won't stay long, but Dad insisted that I stop by. He wanted to give you this." Judith held out the newspaper bound parcel for Pa to take." He told me to tell you that the haddock has been caught fresh today, and Mum sent you these flowers. Along with her warmest wishes that you get well, Delia."

Mam's expression instantly softned at the show of kindness, as she took the colourful bouquet from Judith. "Thank you, dear, but your Mam shouldn't go spending money like this on cut flowers. They are beautiful never-the-less."

Poor Judith looked as nervous as she had done at the pub, as she nodded to mam.

"They're lovely," I told her with a bright smile.

"Tell Gill, I owe him a pint after this, Judith." Pa waved the pungent parcel around, before he placed it in the small ice box. "Cup of tea, Judith?" He swiftly offered the shy girl.

"I wouldn't mind a fresh brew myself," I interjected, as mam reached for the tea pot. I didn't want mam to scare Judith off before I'd at least inquired if she was alright.

Once the tea was poured, Judith was ushered into the seat beside me with a nod from Pa.

"Love, why don't I help you bring in the washing from the line and leave the girls to talk," he suggested, washing basket already in hand as he made his way out of the back door.

"You be careful with my lace doilies," Mam protested, hot on his heels.

Before I knew what was happening I felt Judith's arms fling around my shoulders, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Sorry," she muttered seconds later, returning to her seat. "Your dad said you had a seizure, but I didn't know what was happening. You just collapsed right in front of me, and I was so afraid. I suppose that sounds selfish of me, but I was so scared Delia."

The experience must have really shaken her up. The poor girl didn't know what to do with her hands, until they finally found refuge around the warm tea cup.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that." I touched her wrist gently. "A seizure can overtake me so suddenly that it leaves me no time to react."

"Do you feel all right now?" She asked me, while she took a sip of her tea. "My dad always said that a bit of brandy, clears the decks as it were," Judith mumbled, staring down at her tea cup.

Why did Judith always seem so jittery in my presence? What had happened between us in our past to cause such a reaction? I need to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

"No alcohol for me for awhile I'm afraid," I told her, as she finally lifted her gaze to mine.

"Oh? I don't like alcohol much," she huffed. "I tried a sip of my brother's beer once and I didn't like it. It tasted bitter."

"I don't mind the odd pint occasionally."

"Is that what all the Londoners drink?" She asked, with another sip of tea. "I imagined them drinking champagne from soild gold drinking glasses." She shrugged as I furrowed my brow.

"I don't know where you got that idea from."

"From the films I guess, but Delia, who is Patsy?"

I stopped. My whole body seem to freeze as I watched Judith's curious expression closely. How did she know about Patsy?

"Before you collapsed you mentioned Patsy. Who is she?"

Patsy? My glorious friend, who goes above and beyond to help people. Patsy? I had remembered something important about Patsy before I blacked out, but what was it? The information had managed to trickle away like water.

I didn't mean to snap, to sound so demanding, but maybe I had uttered other things. Given myself a clue.

"What else did I say?"

"That is all you said. Only her name."

"Are you sure?" I ran my hand across my forehead.

My parents picked that precise moment to re-enter into the room. The subject of Patsy was not mentioned again by either of us.

Judith was invited to have supper with us, and with Pa's steady flow of conversation she seemed to relax. I could feel mam's eyes on me throughout the whole meal. I tried to tell her that this spell was just like all the others but she didn't seem convinced. With a deep sigh, I turned my attention to the flowers placed on the window sill. The last of the sun's rays shone through the window, illuminating the soft petals on the bouquet. It was the first real smile I had since I had heard Patsy's name. The flowers gave me a sense of home. If only I could remember my London home.

A/N - A big thank you, as always to Steff for all of her help. More soon. x