Don't Deny It Chapter 03
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Super Sons, Thumbelina or anything else I might make references to in this chapter.
Author's note: If you look on my tumblr and deviantart accounts, you'll see many pieces of fan art, all depicting Damian and Jon as different animated characters, kissing. My latest piece is from Thumbelina, which I don't even like, to be honest. I mean, there are things about it I like, but mostly I find the movie very dorky and shlocky. Nevertheless, it was on my mind when I was inspired to write this chapter.
Damian and Jon continued their charade of mere friendship at school, but whenever Jon brought up the subject of the two of them legitimately dating, Damian shot it down, claiming that he just didn't want to declare it yet. While this frustrated Jon, he knew there was nothing he could do. He couldn't force Damian to acknowledge their relationship any more than he could suppress his feelings for the older boy.
Damian was at war with himself, trying to find reason enough in his fondness of Jon to justify their age difference, while at the same time forcing himself to be aware of social norms and standards, and adhere to the high moral character he believed his father set for him.
A good way to distract himself from his dilemma, he thought, would be to throw himself into his schoolwork. But as he found, no matter how hard he tried to avoid the subject of relationships, that seemed to be all he could think about. Case in point, when assigned a research paper on any topic of his choosing, Damian chose the topic of romantic relationships. Or more specifically, society's expectations of them versus reality.
Dick Grayson, on a visit to Wayne Manor, was quietly making his way up to his littlest brother's room. He peeked his head in the door to find Damian sitting on his bed with his laptop alight in front of him.
"Hey, D, what're you watching?" he asked softly as he tiptoed over to the bed to sit down beside the child. Damian quickly closed the computer.
"Nothing that concerns you, Grayson," he asserted, trying to avoid embarrassment.
"Ah! I saw Jacquimo! You're watching Thumbelina!" Dick declared. Damian grimaced and opened the laptop again, though he kept the movie paused.
"How could you tell from glancing at one frame for less than a second?" he asked, though mentally he answered the question himself—they're a family of detectives.
"I've seen this movie lots of times," Dick explained. "It's a good one."
"I would have to disagree vastly with you on that," Damian scoffed. "It's dreck. Absolutely outdated notions of love and relationships. Even for a fairy tale."
"In that case, why are you watching it?" Dick challenged.
"If you must know, I'm writing a report for school on misplaced relationship ideology and expectations that women have been taught to have that fuel the patriarchy."
"Of course," sighed Dick, rolling his eyes. Not that he wasn't proud of his brother for tackling a subject like that.
"Films and stories like this feed into people's minds that love will come on a whim and be perfect right off the bat. That physical attraction equates emotional compatibility and that all will be well for a couple as long as they believe their love is pure."
"While you're absolutely right about that, keep in mind it is a movie, and a children's one at that," said Dick.
"All the more reason to criticize," said Damian. "Children are especially impressionable and ought to be taught more realistic lessons at a young age."
"Well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" Dick said, ruffling Damian's hair. "But seriously, Damian. Who are you to judge people's expectations and experiences of love? Have you ever been in a relationship?"
"That is irrelevant. One doesn't have to have experienced infatuation to know that love is a different concept entirely. And anyway, saying that I personally haven't experienced love doesn't make it any less true for many others. I believe many people in the world believe they have experienced love when in fact all they have experienced is attraction. It's different."
"It's part of it," Dick said patiently.
"Well, you'd know more than anyone, wouldn't you?" Damian growled, trying to turn the focus of the discussion off of himself. "You've engaged in more 'relationships' with women than anyone I know. I doubt every single one of those was based on 'love' and not merely 'lust.' I've noticed that many members of the human race tend to confuse the two."
"Yeah, you're definitely right about that. Many people experience lust and confuse it with love," Dick conceded.
"You among them?"
"Probably," Dick admitted. He didn't take much offense, though. He could see through Damian's insecurities like glass.
"Exactly. When the notion of 'love' is marketed to children, and particularly to women, as the greatest experience and primarily the most important experience in life, it sets one up for a life of co-dependency and emotional need that ultimately is unhealthy and leads to disappointing and unfulfilling lives."
"You are way too young to be this cynical, D," said Dick. "Though you are your father's son, so…"
"That being established, can you please leave me to my research?" Damian said haughtily.
"Call it what you want," Dick sighed, getting up and leaving the room with a smile.
[texting]
Dick: You might need to have a talk with Damian. Not THE talk, just a talk. I think he's going through something.
Bruce: World's Greatest Detective here, dummy. You think I haven't noticed? ;)
The next day at school, after Damian had handed in his report, he met up with Jon for lunch. It was a nice day, and the students had been given permission to eat outside if they pleased. Sitting in the shade under a big tree, the two boys conversed.
"Did you give your report?" asked Jon.
"It wasn't oral. I just handed it in," said Damian.
"Oral?"
"It means spoken word. Oral pertains to the mouth."
"Oh," said Jon, not quite up to Damian's standard of vocabulary.
"What was it about, again?" asked the half-Kryptonian.
"'Unrealistic Relationship Expectations That Fuel the Patriarchy'," Damian recited.
"Oh yeah. And what exactly do you know about relationships?" Jon teased with a smirk. Damian glared in return.
"From the articles I've researched, I've come to understand that many people believe that love conquers all, and that love is more important that anything else in life. My thesis refutes that notion and suggests that there are more important things, like LOGIC, and JUSTICE. People who remain in toxic or abusive relationships- because they have been taught to believe that as long as they LOVE the person, that's all that matters- are detrimental to society. They will tolerate crime, violence and violations of basic human dignities all in the name of 'love.' I find that notion despicable. I think one should place logic, justice and common sense above love at all times."
Jon looked aghast at his friend. Needless to say he didn't catch quite every word Damian had used, but he got the gist of it; Damian was saying that given the choice, he wouldn't choose love if it meant that something else might be compromised.
"So…what you're saying is…if you can find some reason not to be in a relationship, you're not going to be in one?"
Damian knew where this was going, but he had already started the conversation, and his pride wouldn't let him back out of it.
"I think, if there is, in fact, a legal or moral flaw in the relationship, yes. It would be better not to engage in it at all. Compromising morals and the law isn't what I—what we—people like us—do."
People like us. He meant superheroes. Upholders of the law. Fighters for truth and justice.
Jon put down his fork in his Tupperware and looked down, tears forming behind his fake glasses.
"So you don't want to be with me?" he said. Before Damian could answer, he continued speaking. "Or rather, you want to be with me, but because you can't look past our age difference, which you see as WRONG, you are going to CHOOSE not to be with me?"
"I, I mean…wouldn't it be hypocritical of me to do otherwise?" Damian said softly.
Jon wiped his nose on his sleeve and began collecting his garbage to throw away.
"I don't get you, Damian," Jon sniffed. "Your very life is morally compromised. Your dad is morally compromised. You are a minor, going out every night to leap in front of bullets and jump in the path of speeding cars. Your father commits child endangerment every night, yet you can't look past a three year age difference?"
"That's different. I choose to go out there with my father every—"
"And I choose to be with you," said Jon. "You can make decisions for yourself despite your father being MUCH older than you, but I can't make decisions for myself despite you being a mere THREE YEARS older than me? You really think this makes you some kind of creep? Some kind of pedophile? You're reading WAY too much into this, it's not even funny."
"Well, then, maybe you shouldn't want to be with me, if I'm so insufferable!" Damian growled.
Jon blinked back his tears, gathered up his trash, and stood up.
"Normally I would say, I'm not going to be here, waiting around for you to come to your senses while you figure this out," he said. "But the fact is, I will be. I WILL be here waiting for you to wise up, because I love you."
Damian's eyes widened at what Jon had just admitted.
Jon's heart started pounding at his own revelation.
Neither boy said anything as Jon turned on his heel and walked away from Damian, who was left dumbstruck and stone-faced.
END OF CHAPTER 03
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