Dear reader, please note I've upped the rating to M due to mature themes.

I have to thank RatherOddRanger again, we clearly have very warped sense of humours. Enjoy...

Chapter Three

Alya's fingers raced across the keyboard as she typed in her latest update to the Ladyblog. She was doing it on the sly while her Mum thought she was doing homework. So, when her phone chirped with an incoming message, the budding reporter almost leapt from her seat. A grin spread across her face when she saw it was from Marinette. No doubt it was an update on her sleepover with Adrien.

MDC: OMG it finally happened!

AC: World peace?

MDC: No, I slept with Adrien!

AC: As in sleeping, right?

MDC: No, as in hot steamy lovemaking able to compel angels to weep.

AC: Lalala… not listening. TMI!

MDC: Wow, I just checked the time.

AC: Didn't feel like five minutes?

MDC: WE WERE AT IT FOR OVER AN HOUR! HOW?!

AC: TMI!

MDC: He also kept purring… is that normal?

AC: Purring? What kind of freaky shit are you into? Wait don't answer.

MDC: It was kind of endearing. He kept rubbing his face on me.

AC: Stop right there. I don't need a visual.

MDC: Oddly enough he kept calling me 'milady'

AC: I'm going to bed now.

MDC: Me too! Adrien's bed with Adrien – yay!

AC: I'm going to be an aunt, I can feel it in my waters…

While Marinette was busy gushing to her best friend as she remained in the bathroom, Adrien was sitting on his bed trying to work out why Nino was back to that whole church idea Nathalie had suggested. As he was attempting to join the dots he received a message from Chloe.

CB: Hey Adrikins, Daddy said I can come over and visit. Are you busy?

AA: I've got company at the moment.

CB: Oh, who exactly?

AA: Marinette.

CB: What is she DOING there?

AA: Um, me.

CB: WTF?

AA: Nino suggested I needed to be a good host and do as she asked.

CB: You had sex with her because she asked!

AA: I might have gotten a bit too into character.

CB: Excuse me?

AA: I was pretending to be Chat Noir and imagining Marinette was Ladybug and well, my imagination is very, very vivid.

CB: I literally have a Ladybug costume and you've never imagined me as Ladybug?

AA: Um, no. I can honestly say I have never ever fantasised about you.

CB: Not even in my sexy Queen Bee costume?

AA: Again, never ever.

CB: Then why did you pretend with Marinette!

AA: Well Nino said I should get my Chat Noir on and behave accordingly. Not that I'm actually Chat Noir, no, no. I have no affiliation with Chat Noir whatsoever. Purely hypothetical. Yeah.

CB: NINO! THAT HOME WRECKER!

AA: How is Nino a home wrecker?

CB: Because you're meant to be mine.

AA: Um, since when? I'm your friend… oh crap.

CB: What's that supposed to mean?

AA: A childhood friend is considered different to a very good friend, right?

CB: I suppose, why?

AA: No reason.

AA: Thank God.

CB: Why do I feel like I've missed something? WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME, ADRIEN?

AA: I love you like a sister!

CB: Like in those naughty anime films my Daddy keeps in his sock drawer?

AA: It's so cool that your Dad likes anime.

AA: Wait, you know about his extensive collection…

Adrien decided it was best if he ended the conversation right there. Mayor Bourgeois' dirty little secret wasn't something he wanted to discuss with Chloe. Even if some of the anime was rather educational. Shaking himself mentally, Adrien turned his phone to silent and went to check on Marinette.

Downstairs, Gabriel was massaging his forehead with his fingers as he tried to concentrate on his work. Of course, his phone pinged, this time it was from Mayor Bourgeois.

MB: Gabriel, I hate to intrude but my little girl wants to visit Adrien.

GA: She has a phone, does she not? Let them organise it themselves.

Gabriel considered adding the alternative of contacting Nathalie but decided, given her current mischievous mood, it was best to leave his saucy assistant out of the equation.

MB: But Adrien is being… difficult.

GA: Explain.

MB: He said he doesn't, um, think on Chloe the way she hopes.

GA: And how is this my problem? Or have anything to do with your initial query?

MB: She said he's busy having sex with the "baker's daughter"

The phone tumbled from Gabriel's fingers as he bellowed, "NATHALIE!" Trust the scheming wench to be absent when he needed her the most. He had no doubt the woman was snickering hidden somewhere within the mansion. Which meant that Gabriel had to leave the sanctuary of his office and investigate the possible conundrum in his son's bedroom.

Stalking up the stairs, the designer grumbled to himself that Nathalie was seriously in jeopardy of losing her bonus if he witnessed his son procreating. Dear God, not his precious little boy. How the hell had they gotten to this point? Stupid horny teenagers.

With nervous trepidation, Gabriel opened Adrien's bedroom door with a swift knock and barrelled inside. Upon the white lounge sat Adrien and Marinette, deeply engrossed in a video game. The designer cleared his throat as he approached the pair. He noticed how close they sat and how Marinette had her ankle hooked around Adrien's.

Closing his eyes, Gabriel uttered the question he was loathed to ask. "Did you two… do it?"

With the face of an innocent cherub, Adrien turned to face his father. "You mean beat the level?"

A relieved smile settled on the designer's face. "Yes."

"We did, but I couldn't have done it without Marinette. She's amazing."

Stiffly, Gabriel nodded, "Excellent." Then he stood there awkwardly before adding. "You know what, I'm going back to work."

With Adrien's bedroom door closed behind him, Gabriel stormed back to his office and picked up his phone. Messaging the mayor with a thunderous expression on his face.

GA: Adrien and his friend were simply playing video games! Tell your daughter to behave or the media will get an anonymous tip about your anime spending spree.

MB: NOT MY PRECIOUS DIRTY ANIME! YOU WOULDN'T!

GA: I would and you better believe it. Now control your daughter.

At townhall, Mayor Andre Bourgeois was now in a right royal tizz. Pacing his office while running his hands through the remaining grey hair at the sides of his head. How the hell had Gabriel Agreste found out about his anime collection? Dammit, it must have been Adrien. The moment the blonde boy had expressed his interest in anime the mayor couldn't help but gush about his own private stash.

Together they had poured over his titles and Adrien had been fascinated and a little surprised at the sort of animation the older man had procured. Being a teenager, the boy was all too eager to borrow the ones that had vivid sex scenes in them. Damn he hoped all the DVD's had been returned. Feeling fragile, the mayor messaged his wife Audrey from their last chat thread.

MB: Darling, someone has discovered my dark secret! They're going to out me!

AB: Which dark secret?

MB: About my anime addiction.

AB: Can anyone blame you? I've been living overseas for years. Surely, they know you're not getting any.

MB: You really are a cruel bitch.

AB: I love it when you talk dirty.

It was most unexpected when Chloe chimed in.

CB: Mummy, Daddy you do realise you're in a family group chat, and EW!

As usual, Audrey ignored her daughter and continued on.

AB: Shall I dig out the old Sailor Moon cosplay you love so much, dear?

CB: Oh God, did you not read what I said!

MB: I doubt it fits anymore, darling. But I wouldn't say no to wearing the ponytail wig again.

CB: OMFG! YOU TWO ARE AWFUL!

Chloe decided that she was going to turn off her phone and sit in her room devouring copious amounts of chocolate. Quite frankly, she wasn't even going to try to see Adrien. There was too much to deal with in regards to her parents. Still, she couldn't resist messaging him to remind him of her existence.

CB: Adrikins, turns out I'm busy. Talk later.

Adrien glanced at his phone and let out a relieved sigh. He turned to Marinette. "Chloe's not coming over."

"Oh, what a pity." Marinette replied sarcastically.

Adrien raised a concerned eyebrow, then remembered something she'd said in the spa that he still hadn't got an answer to, even from Nino. "Earlier you asked me if I 'wrapped it before I tapped it' what does that mean?"

Marinette almost choked on her own spit and blushed profusely. "It means, did you use a condom?"

"Yeah, didn't you see the unique balloons I blew up that were floating on the surface of the water? I didn't see the point of wearing one, it would have filled up with water when I tried putting it on." He said with a superior nod.

Blue eyes studied him long and hard, blinking occasionally. Adrien was truly living up to the dumb blonde stereotype. "Okay."

Her stare seemed to get him thinking. "I suppose if I put it on first and taped it around the top it would be sealed, right?"

"I'm so glad I listened to my mother and went on the pill."

Adrien gasped. "Are you doing drugs, Marinette?"

He couldn't be this oblivious, could he? Marinette cleared her throat. "You haven't heard of the pill?"

Green eyes continued to look at her in concern. "I hope you're not on ice. Oh hell, let me call Nathalie."

"Adrien, the pill is to stop me from getting pregnant."

The model paused and his eyes locked on hers. "Wait, does that mean you're having sex with other very good friends?"

"Um, no." She uttered quietly.

But Adrien was too busy, lost in his own thoughts. "Luka, of course. Do you want me to invite him over too?"

Marinette reacted before she could think and slapped Adrien's cheek. Her mouth dropped open as she attempted to apologise but the model touched his face then began nodding in understanding. "Luka's not that good of a friend, huh?"

"Uh, no. Not so much."

"Right, sorry. That was rude of me to presume." Adrien rubbed at his nape. "To confirm, you're not having sex with Luka."

"Correct."

"Then why do you need to be on this pill that stops you from getting pregnant?"

A deep blush spread across Marinette's face. "Well, my period was really heavy, this helped sought it out and make it more regular."

"I don't understand. Is this something to do with your school workload? How many periods do you have in a school day?"

"Not that sort of period."

Adrien continued to look miffed. "Huh?"

With a weary sigh, she asked, "Did you never do sex education?"

"Well, Father sent me this PowerPoint presentation but I think I learned more from anime. Mayor Bourgeois has a fantastic collection of ones with sex scenes."

Marinette gave him a dumbfounded stare. "I did not know that. I think I need to go to the bathroom, I'm pretty sure I'm going to puke."

"Okay."

Marinette disappeared to the sanctuary of the bathroom and after a breather she returned to Adrien and gave him the proper sex talk, explaining how babies were made. In complete awe, he had to ask. "So, do you ever plan on having kids?"

A high-pitched squeak was the first noise she made. Eventually she spat out, "Yeah."

"Then why are you on the pill?"

"Because I don't want to be a teenage parent."

Adrien nodded in understand. "Like Chloe, right?

"What?"

Thinking it was common knowledge, Adrien spilled. "She said XY knocked her up after one of his concerts. I had to Google 'knocked up' I thought the bastard had hit her."

"So, she's pregnant now?"

Adrien scratched his blonde head. "No, strangely enough nothing has ever been mentioned about it again. Maybe I misheard. No one speaks about it when I ask."

"Is Chloe on speaking terms with XY?"

"Last I heard she wanted to castrate him with an ice cream scoop."

"That would be a no then."

"With Chloe, that's a maybe."

Thanks for reading, I hope you got another good laugh. I know I kept cracking up at every mentioned of the Mayor's dirty anime. I apologise for any weird stares you may have received while reading.

Please let me know if we managed to deliver another cracker of a chapter in the review box below. Cheers :)