~*T*~
"Give up, Nazi, or I shall taunt you again!" Harry quoted, then laughed. He managed to quiet, then broke out giggling again.
"Eh, that is kinda funny," Hermione said, "But I don't understand why you keep laughing about it."
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail?"
Luna and Hermione blinked.
"It's a movie?" Hermione asked.
"Which we haven't seen," Luna agreed.
"Oh, then we should fix that."
~*i*~
Luna was in the passenger seat of Hermione's little Toyota, and the abandoned parking lot was empty, other than the concrete bases that formerly supported light poles and the orange cones they had used to lay out the course. Hermione sighed, pouted, and rolled her neck, loosened her fingers on the steering wheel.
"I cheat," Luna said, "And I was only ten seconds faster than you."
"How?"
Luna pondered, "A second of it was starting with the turbo spooled up, a second each for braking deeper into corner two and six, and I drifted the last corner until I was on line for the exit. The other five seconds?" she shrugged, "Practice. Smoother driving."
"Once more, then," Hermione put the clutch pedal down, shifted into first, and watched the tach as she added gas.
"Five," Luna counted, stopwatch in hand, "Four, three, two, one, go," she clicked the watch as she finished the word go and Hermione romped the gas, let out the clutch, and chirped the tires once as the live axle bucked against the suspension links. Luna stayed quiet, pulled against her seatbelt by Hermione's rough driving.
"Forty-seven point two three seconds," Luna reads, even as Hermione brakes, downshifting, engine braking, "Almost six seconds better."
"That's enough for today," Hermione says, pulling back to the beginning of the course, "Let's pick up the cones."
~*i*~
Kaiser is on one side of the vacant lot, with Othala and a crowd of unpowered Nazis.
Harry Apparated in with his girls and Shadow Stalker. They let go of Shadow Stalker, and Luna patted her shoulder, "Thank you."
"No problem," Shadow Stalker answered.
Hermione stepped forward, grinning, "Surrender, miscreants, or face The Beast Of Caerbannog!"
Shadow Stalker, as seemed to be her wont, staggered in place, laughing.
Kaiser was not amused. He, unfortunately for him, was also not scared.
"It is just a fluffy bunny! Stand your ground, men!"
Shadow Stalker fell down, and Luna leaned on Harry, lips twitching.
"When you realize the horror that is the Beast, fall on your faces and play dead!" Hermione yelled, "We tried to teach it to recognize surrender, but I make no Promises!"
"Are you going to fight, or are you going to talk?"
"Death awaits you all, with nasty, big, pointy teeth. Surrender, or face your Doom!" Shadow Stalker's threat would have worked much better if she'd stopped laughing first.
One of the unpowered fired a handgun at them.
"Sic 'em, Fluffy," Hermione told the white rabbit in her arms.
It lept down, and the carnage began.
~*i*~
"We told them we had the Beast of Caerbannog, but they just laughed." Hermione said, gestured with her left hand, which held the Beast's leash.
The Beast, in a harness, with the leash attached between its shoulders, twitched its still-bloody nose.
"I probably should have made myself scarce after we teleported in," Shadow Stalker said, "I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of the fight between the Beast and the Nazis, so they may not have taken our warnings seriously."
"Oh?"
"I told them to surrender, first thing," Hermione said.
"Then," Shadow Stalker giggled, "Kaiser was all "It's just a bunny!""
"Oh?" Director Piggot of the PRT asked, looking around the bloody field.
"And we told them to lay down and play dead once they realized they wanted to live," Luna said.
"And I told them that death awaited them all on nasty, big, pointy teeth," Shadow Stalker said, "I probably should have stopped rolling around laughing first."
"Probably," Piggot said.
"It was just so funny," she sighed, "Until it was all blood and death and screaming."
Piggot nodded her understanding.
"They shot at us, I sic'd Fluffy on them, about half of them lost their heads and the other half fell on their faces and played dead until we could get Fluffy back on leash."
"Othala lived and Kaiser died?"
"Yeah, Othala dropped on her face as soon as the blood started flying. Kaiser stayed up, I guess trusting in his armor and temporary invulnerability. His aim was pitiful, but he went down trying to fight."
~*i*~
"Myrtle gave me your number," the old woman says, her accent distinct, but somehow faded, "Eun-hye's been fading, her short term memory was never great, but it's getting awful. It's making her so upset," she takes a deep breath, half a sob, "Could you?"
"I can try. I won't promise anything, but probably," Hermione said, "What's your address?"
~*i*~
A chunk of concrete hovered down the road, and came to a stop in front of Shadow Stalker.
"Your team is hard to find," the younger blonde, wearing jeans, t-shirt, and a black Zorro mask that looked like it had been a t-shirt recently, said.
The older blonde nodded.
"Since the choices seem to be give up being a Nazi or die, and we kinda like living, and I don't wanna go back to jail," the girl shudders, "Or have to put up with being in the wards, and Cricket's too old, anyway," she smiles, clasping her hands under her chin, "Can we join your team?"
"Um?" Shadow Stalker pulled out a phone, "I can ask."
"Thank you!" Rune bounced a bit in place.
Shadow Stalker's mask tilted up and down in time with the bouncing a moment, then she shook her head and dialed.
~*T*~