Shiro's room seemed the most suitable place for this conversation, around the corner from the kitchen, where Allura, Pidge and Coran were having a debate about some alien technology Keith had never heard of, and in a completely different corridor from the other paladin's rooms, where Hunk had still not returned with Lance.
The sound of Keith's uneven, quick-paced steps bounced off the walls as he stumbled down the hall, the emotion in his head and adrenaline in his veins making his pace harried and unstable. Shiro managed to keep up with Keith's frantic stride, remaining by his side even as he stumbled, slowing and speeding up unpredictably. Not a word was spoken between the two boys as they made their way down the corridor. Keith was too afraid to speak before they reached the confines of Shiro's room for fear the halls would carry his words to the other paladins, and Shiro new better than to ask Keith to talk before he was ready to.
As they neared the open door of Shiro's room, Keith's pace slowed dramatically, almost to the point where he was no longer moving at all. The open door, which should have seemed an invitation to a haven where he could finally share the truth, instead felt like a trap, made to lure him into a false sense of security before all he secrets are exposed. His feet suddenly felt very heavy, and he dragged them along the floor as he, reluctantly, continued towards the door. Shiro noticed the hesitation, which sparked a sudden dread in the pit of his stomach. He was now walking several feet ahead of Keith, whose face was now set in a mask of determination. Reaching the door, Shiro gestured, which a soft kindness only he could muster, for Keith to enter and take a seat. Keith numbly obliged, his feet still dragging as he made his way into the room and collapsed onto the bed. With a language only those as close as brothers could understand, Shiro silently asked if Keith wanted the door closed, to which Keith responded with nothing more than a barely visible nod.
Shiro settled quietly next to Keith, keeping his knees together and his posture ever straight, making him appear awkward on the edge of the bed. The air between them weighed heavy with confusion and concern, a tension that could easily be described as uncomfortable, but Shiro understood that Keith had to be the first one to speak. He watched the red paladin as he lay sprawled across the bed, inhaling and exhaling shaky breaths. His eyes were squeezed shut, and a crease had formed between his brows that made it appear as though he was suffering through a terrible nightmare. Maybe he was.
Several minutes passed, and it almost seemed that Keith had fallen asleep on Shiro's bed when he abruptly opened his eyes and sat straight up. Shiro barely stirred beside him, simply glancing over to see that he was ok. Concern drew worry lines across his face, and he appeared much older than he should. Keith noticed the expression and opted to look elsewhere, deciding Shiro's gaze would make what he was about to say far more difficult. The room was incredibly bare, which was unsurprising considering that Shiro did very little other than sleep and exercise here. Keith decided to focus his gaze on a small patch of wall where the paint had begun to chip, simply because there was nothing else.
He inhaled sharply before saying, "ok, there's something I want to tell you."
Shiro nodded encouragingly, still not speaking. He knew Keith needed to say this himself, without any form of help or persuasion.
Reaching up to adjust his hair, Keith realised that his hands were trembling, and he was subconsciously bouncing his legs off the side of the bed. Everything felt far too fast, far too loud, far too bright. Almost involuntarily, he leapt from the bed and began pacing the length of the room. Shiro still refused to speak, but the worry on his face ran deeper, and he felt his body tense. He had never seen Keith so chaotic, and suddenly the weight of what Keith was about to say felt very heavy on his shoulders.
"I've wanted to tell you this for a while now." Keith continued pacing as he spoke, his words tripping over each other as they fell from his mouth. His hands still shook violently, but the movement as he paced helped calm him slightly.
Shiro, deciding now an appropriate time, finally spoke. "You can tell me anything, Keith."
Keith turned back to peer at Shiro fondly, a small, trembling smile gracing his lips. He nodded as a response.
"You're my brother."
Shiro's words managed to console Keith to a small degree, however fear of his judgement, of how his perception of him would change once he told him still held strong. Keith shook his head in an attempt to organise his thoughts, but they still lay scattered in his brain.
"I know," Keith sighed exasperatedly. "But it's just…I'm scared, Shiro." His breathing became sharp and hollow, panic seizing his body again. Every time he came close to speaking the words, his mind refused.
"That's ok. It's ok to be scared." Keith turned his head so he was no longer facing Shiro, nodding numbly as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.
"I can't say it out loud," Keith mumbled to himself, not intending for Shiro to hear.
"Then don't." The rustling of paper behind him was the only indication to Keith of what Shiro meant, his eyes again trained on the chipped paint. "Write it down."
Keith's entire body trembled as he turned, receiving a blank piece of paper and a pen from Shiro's outstretched hand. The pen refused to follow Keith's hand, which refused to cooperate with his brain, but somehow he managed to write, in barely legible penmanship: I am gay.
Keith started at the paper in his hand, at the words he had written on the page. It took a will he didn't know he possessed not the rip it to shreds. Tears stained the edge of the sheet, and Keith was suddenly aware that he was crying. The entire world fell away, his vision tunnelling on those 3 words.
A gentle hand fell on his shoulder, and Keith was numbly mindful that Shiro was now standing beside him, and that the paper had crumpled in his hand, concealing the words. He held the page out to Shiro, who took it with a softness that only Shiro could manage. Keith nodded numbly before collapsing back onto the bed, squeezing his eyes, which were now wet with tears, shut again. He noted the sound of paper being unfolded, then silence. Keith counted how long the quiet stretched, far longer than it would take to read those 3 words. His mind seemed to collapse in on itself, leaving him with ringing ears and a splitting headache.
"Keith." Shiro's voice cut through the heavy silence. "Keith, come here."
His voice was thick, stern. Keith felt a now familiar panic settle throughout his body, making his limbs feel stiff as he opened his eye and made his way over to Shiro. Tears shimmered in Shiro's eyes, and his expression was hard. Keith was prepared to turn and run when Shiro suddenly seized him in an embrace that knocked the air from his lungs. It took several moments for Keith's brain to catch up with what had happened, but when it finally did Keith quickly wrapped his arms around the black paladin. His quiet tears became sobs, and he shook violently in Shiro's embrace.
"I love you, Keith. Okay? Please know that."
Keith nodded against Shiro's shoulder. "I know. I know."
Hi guys,
thank you all so much for reading this and leaving such great reviews. I'm so sorry that I've barely uploaded and that this chapter took so long- I've been feeling quite unmotivated after the last few seasons, and I just don't get the same joy out of writing these characters as before. This means I probably won't upload many more chapters after this one, however I will try to finish off the story and not just leave it here. That being said, please continue to leave your feedback and ideas, and if there's anything else you'd like to see me write, please let me know.
Love you all, pluto
