~*T*~

The room full of McGuffins was inspected, bits of abandoned clothing and jewelry were checked for curses, potions, or noxious spells, then modeled, and after a bit they found Ravenclaw's Diadem.

Even with Tom's knowledge, it took them until after dinner to remove all the curses and protections he put on it. They checked it one more time, then Lisa put it in her pocket. "I'm hungry."

"We be's having leftovers! Would you be liking some?" A Yoda-like person asked from near their knees.

"Yes, please," Lisa said, "What is your name?"

"Tyson." Amy and Taylor exchanged a glance.

"What is your quest?"

"To protect and look after the Students of Hogwarts."

"What is your favorite colour?"

"Purple."

"What do you have to feed us, Tyson?"

"All of your favorites, missy Lovegood, Treacle Tart, Roast Beast, Pudding, lots of vegitables dripping with butter."

"Yum. Could you bring us some, please?"

"Right away," he said, and one of the tables cleared off in a flurry of junk. Three chairs sort themselves out of the piles, and golden plates of food appear on the table.

"Why are you being so helpful?"

"We bes so happy! You's been removing all of the Dark Lord's curses from Hogwarts, and you's love drowns out the Dark Lord's anger and shame."

"Oh, that's good."

~*i*~

A quick laying of hands over breakfast the next morning gathered the blood of seven virgins, and they still hand plenty of moon-gathered sea salt, the only rare ingredients they needed.

After Herbology they cleared a spot in the room of lost things, then transferred Lisa's pet from the Diadem to the rock.

Lisa gave him some cuddles.

"Don't tease him so much this time," Amy said, "You were a little rough with your last pet."

"I know," Lisa said, "But he didn't entirely dislike it. I didn't think he'd run away to someone else."

"He did have a crush on her," Taylor said, "So be more gentle with this one, or he might run away to Professor McGonagall."

Lisa's lips twitched, "I'm pretty sure she's as lonely as you are," she told Tom-the-Jade-who-was-a-diadem, "I'll love you and squeeze you and call you Tom, but I won't spank you when you're bad, because you aren't bad, even though you have done a lot of bad things. When you feel it's safe, you will be assimilated, your magical and technological distinctiveness will be added to my own, Amy and Taylor will love us, and we'll be together forever."

She gave him a squeeze, "Shh, there's no need to be scared, shh."

Amy gave her a kiss, then Tom-the-Jade-who-was-a-diadem, "I love you."

Taylor did the same, then pulled all three of them into her arms, "We love you."

~*i*~

"Pettigrew," Myrtle demanded. He pretended to sleep. She poked Scabbers the rat with a finger, and he jumped.

The rat backed away from them on Ron Weasley's bed, back arched, fur raised, whiskers twitching.

"Turn back into a human. Now."

He shook his head, trembling.

Myrtle crossed her arms, and glared down at him over her glasses, "I let your parents, and your sister, live. Your sister is happily married, and you have two adorable little nieces," She smiled at him, "Turn back into a human."

He did, revealing a short, balding man who was missing a finger, "What do you want?" his voice quavered with fear, and trembled from lack of use.

"My other selves took care of my useless Death Eaters, so you are going to help me resurrect myself."

Peter blinked, "What?"

"Keep up, man, you're better than this," she sighed, "You didn't get killed with the other free Death Eaters, so you must be useful."

"Oh, OK," Peter nodded, "What do we need to do, boss?"

"First, we're gonna visit my parents, and collect some bones," she paused, "No, first we're gonna visit my other selves, and get you prettified."

"OK?" Peter looked confused.

"Can't have an ugly dead man for a servant," Myrtle shook her head, "Not when I can just as easily have a pretty girl."

Peter shook his head, "But I don't want to be a girl."

"How do you know? Have you ever been one?"

"No, but."

"No buts." Myrtle turned toward the door, "If you don't like it after six months we can turn you back."

"Oh," Peter thought a moment, "You can make me a pretty boy, right?"

"Later, maybe, if you want."

"That's OK, then," Peter turned back into a rat, jumped down from the bed, and walked to the door. He looked up at Myrtle. Myrtle looked down at him.

"This is going to be annoying, isn't it."

~*i*~

Myrtle left Peter curled up under one of the couches in the common room, and went in search of her other selves.

They were cuddled up together in the room of lost things, and looked up when she entered.

"Hello, Myrtle," the oldest of her said.

"Hello, Taylor," she kissed the boy on the lips. It was much more pleasant than she expected. "Amy," she kissed the brown-haired girl, "Lisa," the blonde, "Tom," Tom-the-Jade-who-was-a-diadem.

She got a couple more "Hello, Myrtles," from the girls.

"I'm hoping you'll help me a bit, Amy," she said, "Peter is very recognizable, when he's human, and can't open doors when he's a rat."

"Oh?"

"Could you make him into a pretty girl for me? And maybe into a pretty boy in about six months if he actually doesn't like being a pretty girl?"

"I can do that," Amy said, "What are you going to do with him, when he's a pretty girl?"

"Gather the ingredients for a resurrection," Myrtle said, "Get all reembodied, collect up Olive, marry her and about ten girls, have dozens of babies."

"You know that there's a whole bunch of points where your plan could blow up in your face?"

"Yeah, but even one girl's better than ghosting around Hogwarts, and I already tried taking over the world, and it totally failed to make me happy. Being Tom-the-Jade actually made me happy, happier than when I first saw Hogwarts, hugging Olive really made me happy, so I'm gonna try to be happy."

"OK, then," Amy stood, pulled Taylor up, then Lisa.

"Thank you," Myrtle said.

~*T*~