I'll be yours if you'll be mine Chapter 49
Curvo was bored. He looked out over the room from where he was leaning against the wall and shook his head. He didn't know why he had let Tyelko coerce him into being their designated driver for the night. He didn't why he let his brother convince him to do a lot of things, he amended.
It wasn't like Curvo wanted to be drinking anyway. Not because he was underage—he didn't care about that. With four older brothers access to alcohol hadn't been an issue but he had never liked the way it made him feel when he drank. Out of control. Daring. Uninhibited. He grimaced. That was not his style.
His dislike might have originated from the weekend he spent visiting Tyelko at Cuiviénen. A shudder ran through him as recalled the sensation of laying on the cold, dingy tiles of Tyelko's bathroom floor, the taste of stale vomit in his mouth and his hair sweat-slicked to his forehead.
Drinking with Tyelko was not for the faint-hearted, he thought, watching his brother fill his cup from the keg in the kitchen.
Curvo didn't really mind driving. That wasn't the problem—he'd rather be the designated driver than have his idiot brothers drive themselves home after a night on the town. But since he was too young to be allowed in the bars he usually just dropped them off and picked them up. It was the fact that Tyelko had badgered him into staying at this party that was annoying.
It wasn't just Tyelko. Maedhros had joined in—telling him it would be good to meet more people from Cuiviénen, not just his fellow Engineering classmates.
Curvo rolled his eyes. He certainly wasn't meeting anybody. His brothers had split off almost immediately—at least Maedhros and Tyelko had—honing in on Fingon and Aredhel as soon as they had walked in the door.
Moryo had disappeared soon after, muttering something under his breath that Curvo couldn't catch. Maglor had brought him a Sprite and had then proceeded to wander off as well. He checked his watch. It was ten twenty-two.
Shit. Not even close to midnight. He was stuck here until then. If not after. Maybe he could find Maglor and tell him he was going home and that they could just call him when they wanted to be picked up.
At that moment, another party goer moved to lean against the wall next to him. Curvo gave him a quick, appraising look. Blonde, blue eyes, holding a can of Sprite that matched his own.
The stranger met his eyes, glanced down at the can and then leaned forward to clink it against Curvo's. "Another designated driver, I take it?" he asked.
Curvo clinked his can back. "Exactly. Who are you chauffeuring tonight?"
"My brothers and some girls they brought along. You?"
"My brothers," Curvo answered.
"I'm Orodreth," the blonde said, extending a hand to Curvo.
"Curufin," he replied, shaking the hand. "Which ones belong to you?"
Orodreth made a face. "I've got three here. Finrod's the oldest—he's the one hosting this, as you probably know. At least I'm not responsible for him tonight. He lives here so he should be able to find his bed on his own. The other two are my younger brothers Aegnor and Angrod—they're the twins over there." He pointed to two tall, blonde individuals lingering by the keg. "I've got a sister too but she's too young to come to one of these. Not that she agrees with that but Mom and Dad said no."
"Same. I've got twin brothers at home who wanted to come. Volunteered to drive even but Mom said no. They're idiots and absolutely shit drivers. I probably would have ended up driving even if Mom had let them come," Curvo said.
"Which ones are your brothers?" Orodreth asked.
"Tall red-head over by Fingon. Dark-haired one lurking by the stereo. The loud blonde who isn't related to you hovering by the keg." Curvo scanned the room to find Moryo. "And the grumpy looking dark-haired guy by the bookshelves."
"And you have two more brothers at home?" Orodreth looked stunned but his voice held a note of sympathy in it. Curvo nodded.
Orodreth clinked his Sprite can again. "I'll quit complaining. You've got me beat."
Moryo had seen Haleth walk in with those two tall blonde guys and her roommate Andreth. It didn't look like she was with the guy though. She had never mentioned a boyfriend but he'd only managed to talk to her a few times, catching her after class or at the library.
They must be twins he realized, looking a little more intently at the two guys who had walked in with her. They were both laughing at something Tyelko had said as they gathered around the keg. He saw one of them slip an arm around Andreth and he watched her lean into him. Her boyfriend then.
He had lost sight of Haleth. Frowning, he scanned around the room but was interrupted by someone jostling his arm, almost causing him to spill his beer.
"Hey," he started to say, forehead creasing in irritation as he turned to berate the person next to him.
It was Haleth, beaming up at him. "What were you so focused on, Carnistir?" she asked, her eyes shining with amusement. He hadn't known her long enough or well enough to tell her his nickname—his family really were the only ones that used it anyway. "I've been standing here next to you and you've been totally oblivious. Who's got your eye tonight?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
He looked down at her, unaware of how his face softened, a fond look coming over him. How to answer, he wondered. He took a sip of his beer. Fuck it, he thought. It was now or never. She had come looking for him, for once. Time to go for it.
"You do," he said, leaning closer, noticing the tiny gold flecks in her deep brown eyes for the first time. He couldn't remember ever being this close to her.
"I do?" she asked, a slow smile coming over her face.
"Since you walked in the door," he said. Just say it, his mind prodded him. "Since I first saw you," he added, softly.
Her smile widened. "Well, damn it, Carnistir. Why didn't you say something?" Her fingertips slid against his as she linked their hands. "We've wasted a whole semester."
This couldn't be happening. Had she really just said that? His heart rate sped up and he reflexively squeezed her fingers. "Well, it's a new year, right? New start?" He pulled her closer, close enough to smell her hair, her scent, to feel the warmth of her body next to his.
"It's almost midnight!" Someone shouted from across the room. They both turned to see Finrod, standing on the sofa, his arm around Amarië. Voices all around them joined in the countdown.
"Five."
"Four."
"Three."
"Two."
"One."
"Happy New Year!"
Cheers and whistles sounded but Moryo wasn't paying attention to that. Haleth had pulled his face down to meet hers as the numbers were being shouted out and as the New Year came in he found his lips on hers.
This had the potential to be a very good year.
Orodreth had moved on. Curvo was still in the same spot, a new can of Sprite in his hand courtesy of Maedhros this time. Maglor had officially taken over the music, settling in by the stereo and fielding requests. Not that you could really hear the music that well. Too many people talking.
Tyelko had moved away from the keg finally but it looked like he had somehow convinced Fingon to match him in a head to head drinking contest. That was certainly not going to end well for Fingon. Curvo could see Maedhros hovering near them. At least Fingon had someone watching out for him. Maedhros wouldn't let Tyelko completely annihilate his boyfriend. Curvo hadn't been so lucky that time with Tyelko—the person supposedly watching out for him had been the one drinking with him.
Ugh. Moryo was still making out with that girl in the dark corner by the bookshelves. Didn't look like he was going to want to leave anytime soon. Damn it. Moryo was usually the one he could count on to get the others to go home. Not tonight it seemed. Curvo looked at his watch. Twelve-twenty.
Maybe he could just leave them all here. They could crash on the sofas or something. More likely he would get home and then one of them would call him for a ride and he'd have to get up and go out again. It was better to just wait it out. Maglor or Moryo would be ready to go sometime soon, right?
Maybe he should focus on Maglor. He didn't have a date here, he certainly wasn't getting any action and he could screw around with the stereo in his room at home just as easily as the one here. He started to make his way over to his brother when a girl caught his eye.
He didn't recall seeing her earlier. Maybe she had come in late? She looked familiar, which surprised him. He hadn't seen anyone he knew at this party.
Her eyes met his and she smiled. Where had he seen her before? It was going to bother him for the rest of the night now. He needed to figure this out. He abandoned his trajectory towards Maglor and shifted direction towards the girl.
He took a closer look as he approached and wondered how he hadn't noticed her before. She was even more striking close up—long, straight black hair that shimmered in the light, distinct eyebrows that arched over eyes that were a cool steel grey. Intelligent eyes.
"I wondered if you were ever going to move away from the wall," she said, as he approached. "I was trying to decide if you were fulfilling a structural purpose." Her smile broadened. "You seemed pretty attached to that section of it."
"I'm just better at skulking about on the periphery of things," Curvo said.
"Electrons are still affected by the center." Her eyes lit up with amusement as she spoke.
She had made a science joke. "Did you just call me an electron?"
"I most certainly did."
"Just assuming the negative charge? Or based on location alone?" Two could play at this.
"You've had a scowl on your face since midnight and you've looked at your watch three times in the last ten minutes." She grinned up at him. "That definitely confirms the negative status."
"And you?" he asked.
"You'll have to figure that out for yourself."
"Have we met? You look familiar," Curvo couldn't figure out where he had seen her before. It had to be on campus. He really didn't go many other places.
"We were in Physics together this semester."
There were at least a hundred people in that class. And Curvo knew she wasn't in his lab group. He knew everyone in his lab group.
She laughed at his perplexed look. "You're hard to miss in class. I think you're the only one who ever asks questions and I'm pretty sure you're the only one who understands the answers."
Ok, he had to admit he liked Physics. The professor was top-notch, the topic mentally stimulating. The only problem was all the pre-meds in the class. It was a requirement for them, just like it was for the engineers but they seemed to find it far more onerous than he did.
"Is it annoying?" What had made him ask that? He didn't care if it was annoying or not. He liked to think during the lectures and he had no hesitation about voicing his questions and receiving the answers he craved.
"No. Not to me. It actually makes things more interesting." She tilted her head and looked up at him. "I'm Lanthirel."
"Curufin."
"Nice to meet you, Curufin. So how did you end up at this party tonight?"
He shrugged. "I'm the designated driver for my brothers. They're the ones who were invited to this. I just tagged along. You could say I'm the hired help but the pay really sucks." He lifted his Sprite can as evidence. "And you?"
"My roommate brought me along. Nothing better to do tonight anyway."
He had to ask. He knew it was stupid and the conversation was going along just fine but it was part of who he was. He needed to categorize things. "Engineering or pre-med?"
He didn't think her smile could get any brighter but it did. "Biomedical Engineering. So, a little bit of both." She took on a thoughtful look but he could tell it was put on. "Now, let me see, can I guess which one you are?"
"I'm sure you already have. Your choice of an electron joke kind of gave it away," Curvo said.
"I knew it was Engineering but the question remains: what kind? I haven't figured that part out yet." She tapped her finger on her lips as she regarded him.
"Are you going to just start guessing or do you need some clues?" Curvo asked.
"I'll try to guess," Lanthiriel said. "So, you love Physics so I'm going to rule out Structural and Mechanical right off the bat."
"So far, so good," he said.
"I can also rule out Biomedical. I would know if you were doing that."
"Keep going." He was actually looking forward to seeing if she could figure it out.
"Now it gets a little more challenging." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm going to have to kick Civil to the curb as well."
"Good call."
"Ok this is starting to get tricky—what do I have left here? Computer, Industrial, Chemical, Nuclear, Electrical and Aerospace." She counted them off on her fingers and then fixed him with a penetrating gaze. "Ok Industrial's out. Electrical's out. Am I still in the game?"
"You're still in the game." He was pleasantly surprised.
"Ok. I'm going to toss out Computer. Too boring."
She was exactly right. He'd never found it as interesting as some of the other disciplines.
"Ok so I've got Nuclear, Chemical and Aerospace." She tapped her finger on her lips again. He found himself looking at her lips when she did it. They were curved and looked soft. No lipstick, just a natural shine to them. He shook his head. What was he doing? He darted a quick look at her eyes and felt his face start to heat up. Shit. He was getting to be as bad as Moryo. What the hell was he blushing for?
He cleared his throat. "Need a clue?"
She kept tapping her lip. It was very distracting, Curvo thought. He hadn't realized he had moved closer as he asked the question. The music had gotten louder. It would be harder to hear what she said next if he was too far away.
"Ok. I'm going to leave it at two possibilities," she finally said.
"You're wimping out."
"No, I'm not. I think it's pretty impressive narrowing it down to two."
"Only if one of them is actually the right answer."
"Well, you'll have to tell me."
"Your finalists are?" Curvo could swear she had moved closer this time.
"Nuclear and Chemical."
"Ding ding ding. The correct answer is one of those two. Are you going to go for it or are you going to stop here?" It was his turn to smile. "Go for broke or play it safe?"
"Hmm. Depends. Is there a prize if I get it right?"
That stopped him in his tracks. He blinked at her.
She grinned up at him. "OK how about this—if I get it right you owe me a coffee. If I get it wrong I owe you."
Which meant no matter what her answer was he was basically assured a coffee date with her. There was no hesitation in his answer. "Deal."
"Nuclear."
"It's actually Chemical."
"Damn. I was so close."
"I'm impressed. You'll have to give me the rundown on your deductive reasoning rationale."
"Well, I do owe you a coffee. I can tell you then." She reached out her hand. "Give me your phone?"
He gave her a puzzled look.
"So, I can put my phone number in it, Mr. Chemical Engineer. I thought you were sharper than this." Her hand was still held out in front of him.
He pulled his phone out, unlocked the screen and handed it to her. He never gave his phone to people. She tapped in her contact info and handed it back. "Text me."
"Ok."
"No, do it now. So I have your contact info."
He was an idiot. His ability to think rationally was gone. He tapped her contact info to send a text and then froze. What should he text? "Hi" seemed stupid—she was standing right in front of him. He could feel her eyes on him. He could think of nothing clever, nothing creative, memorable.
He finally tapped out a word and hit send before he could change his mind.
Her phone dinged and he saw her smile grow as she read the text.
"Opposites attract," she said, nodding her head. She tapped at her phone and then turned it up to show him his contact page. His contact name was listed as "Electron."
Never in a million years had he thought he could make a girl smile by texting her about an atomic particle.
This was going to be a very interesting new year.
Fingon looked over the wreck of their living room—cups, plates and other debris scattered over any flat surface. Sleeping forms were huddled on the sofa and chairs.
He felt an arm slip around his waist and Maedhros' voice whispered in his ear. "Come on. I'll help you clean up in the morning."
"It is morning," he mumbled as he leaned his head back into the warmth of Maedhros and closed his eyes. Finrod had already retreated to his room. The few stragglers left in their apartment were sleeping it off. He'd bundled Turgon and Aredhel off with Maedhros' brothers, a surprisingly accommodating Curvo assuring him he would get them all home.
He turned in Maedhros' arms, feeling his warm embrace and the gentle kiss on his forehead. He reached out a hand to flip off the light switch and then he let Maedhros lead him down the dim hallway to his bedroom.
He didn't recall having that much to drink but somehow his head was still spinning. A vague recollection of matching Tyelko drink for drink returned to him. That had probably been a bad idea.
Maedhros' arm was steady around his waist as he stumbled into his room, kicking off his shoes before collapsing on the bed.
"I'm never drinking with your brother again," Fingon stated.
Maedhros smiled down at him. "I think I remember telling you what a terrible idea that was." Maedhros flopped down on the bed next to him. "I'm actually surprised you're still standing." He leaned back on his arms and gazed down at Fingon.
"I live with Finrod. You build up a tolerance under those conditions." He squinted at Maedhros. "How are you so steady? I thought you were there with me."
Maedhros reached out to stroke the hair off Fingon's forehead. "I decided to stick to water tonight." His face grew more serious. "Since I knew I was staying here . . . I thought it was a good idea to stay away from the drinks."
A chill went through Fingon. He was such an idiot. Maedhros had said he thought alcohol played a role with his nightmares—how could he have forgotten that?
"I'm such an idiot," he said. "I completely forgot that you were steering clear. I should have done the same."
"You don't have to stop just because I am," Maedhros said. "It's just something I've been thinking about. If there's anything I can actively do to lessen the frequency or intensity I'm willing to do it." His finger traced Fingon's jawline. "This was your party. You're supposed to have fun and do what you want. It's not like I didn't have a good time because I didn't drink."
"Just feel bad you're sober and I'm hammered," Fingon sighed. "Don't drink all that much usually," he admitted. "Just when we have these parties—it's home so no worries about driving and it's tradition for me and Finrod to get wasted." He blinked at Maedhros. "It sounds kind of stupid now, when I say it though."
"I get it. Azaghâl and I had parties at our place, when we roomed together. And our own stupid traditions," Maedhros grinned at him. "Although more shots were involved and quoting obscure literary texts."
"Pretty simple tradition for us," Fingon said. "Get drunk, get laid." His eyes widened as he realized what he had said. "Shit. That came out wrong." He went to sit up but groaned as the room began to spin and he fell back onto the bed, eyes closed. "Seriously, I'm not that bad. I really didn't sleep around that much. It was just a joke. It didn't mean anything . . ." His babbling was cut off as Maedhros laid a finger to his lips.
"Hey. I'm not judging. 'Get drunk, get laid' is pretty much standard operating procedure at some point for everyone," Maedhros said. Fingon turned his head to look at him. The spinning of the room had slowed again and he found he could focus on Maedhros' silver eyes. "I did that too," Maedhros continued. "For a while." He chewed his bottom lip as he regarded Fingon and then continued. "After . . . everything happened . . . it was difficult. Difficult to relax, to trust, to let my guard down. So, I basically shut down pretty much all my relationships and most of the physical stuff too. Except for some one-time things here and there." He paused and touched Fingon's face again, gently trailing his fingers along his cheek and brushing his thumb across Fingon's lips. "Until you, of course. You changed everything."
The admission did not have quite the anticipated soothing effect, in Fingon's still inebriated state. Fingon covered his face with his hands. "That makes it worse," he groaned. "It makes me sound like a player, just out for a good time." His words were muffled. His arm moved up to cover his eyes as he kept talking, the other one flung out to the side. "It didn't happen that often, really. Once or twice a year at the parties." Fingon frowned. "I've told you this—I've never been in a serious, long term relationship. Never." He pulled his arm away and turned to look at Maedhros, his blue eyes deep and intense. "Nothing like this. Never like this." He moved closer to Maedhros. "I've never felt anything like this and I don't want anything but this. Ever."
Maedhros was lost in the intensity of Fingon's gaze. "I feel the same," he whispered.
Fingon's lips found his and Maedhros' hands slipped into his hair, their breaths mingling, their bodies tangled together on the bed. Fingon opened his eyes, leaning over Maedhros, their faces almost touching. "I love you."
Maedhros reached up to kiss him gently. "I love you," he whispered, then dropped his head back onto the bed. "Now lay down before you get dizzy again."
Fingon dropped his head on Maedhros' shoulder. "How did you know?" he asked, closing his eyes.
"I know that look." Maedhros' voice was amused. "I have six younger brothers, you know." His arm slid around Fingon and his fingers gently stroked his unruly dark hair. "It could be worse. You don't have the 'I'm going to puke" face. Yet."
Fingon shoved him lightly, unable to muster the strength to do more than that. Maedhros' shoulder was just too comfortable; his shirt was soft, his scent was intoxicating and the fingers running through his hair were soothing. "Mmm. I'm going to fall asleep," he murmured into Maedhros' neck.
"Go ahead. I've got you," Maedhros replied.
"Guess I'm not getting laid tonight," Fingon muttered, opening his eyes to look up at Maedhros.
Maedhros swatted his back. "You're too drunk."
"Never stopped me before," Fingon said, bringing his arm across Maedhros' chest and snuggling closer.
"I'll be here in the morning," Maedhros said. "Plenty of time to make up for it then. It'll still count as party sex. Ow!" he exclaimed as Fingon kicked him. "What was that for?"
"You're not just party sex," Fingon mumbled into Maedhros' chest, his warm breath reaching Maedhros' skin through his shirt. "You're my boyfriend."
He couldn't see the smile on Maedhros' face but he felt the kiss on his forehead. "I guess I am," he replied, his voice huskier than it had been a moment before.
"Want to remember this," Fingon added. "Don't want to forget one minute with you."
Maedhros' hand moved to rest on the arm Fingon had draped over his chest, his other still tangled in Fingon's hair.
"Not drinking again," Fingon said. "Makes me stupid."
"Me too," Maedhros agreed. "Although drunk dialing you might have been the smartest thing I've ever done while drunk. I don't know that I would ever have gotten up the courage to tell you those things otherwise."
Fingon burrowed even closer, his arm tightening around Maedhros possessively. "You can tell me anything," he said.
"I know," Maedhros answered, his face thoughtful. "I don't need to drink to forget or to get my courage up or to relax anymore." His fingers skimmed down to Fingon's shoulder. "It just makes the nightmares worse I think. And nothing is worth that." He kept gently rubbing Fingon's shoulder until he heard the soft snore that assured him Fingon was asleep. "I love you, my Káno," he whispered into the dark head of curls resting on his chest.