Two years, but who's counting, right?! This may never get read, and it certainly isn't one of my strongest chapters, but I'm feeling major Eclare withdrawals lately! RIP season 10.

My mind ran rampant for the duration of the familiar walk to Eli's home, mostly a back and forth debate on whether to take each step, but by the time I was at the end of his driveway, I realized I hadn't actually thought of anything to say. I wasn't entirely sure there was anything to say, especially anything he would be interested in hearing.

I stood just before the single step to the porch, fidgeting with my fingers for who knows how long until I noticed the curtain moving. A blush spread on my face as I realized that Cece and Bullfrog were both a captive audience to me squirming at their stoop. Left without much choice, I stepped up, knocking quietly to be let in.

"Hi Clare," Cece greeted uneasily, looking as confused by my presence as I was starting to feel myself. I gave her a half wave and tried to ignore Bullfrog peeking out from where he'd been planted at the windowsill.

"Um, is Eli home? He wasn't in class today and I need his rough copy." My heart pulsed, hoping neither parent knew that Eli had turned everything in that he needed to and hoping I'd never have to lie to them again. They shared a glance and I expected to be cast off, but Cece took a step back, leaving the door wide open. "In his room," she allowed, closing up behind me. This time there was no internal debate; I'd made it this far and involved his parents, so it was too late to hide my tail between my legs. I walked upstairs without another word, feeling the eyes at my back. It was uncomfortably quiet upstairs, a far cry from the loud music I equated Eli's room with.

He was there. Curiosity got the best of me and I pushed the door open just enough to get a glimpse of Eli's bedroom and its inhabitant inside. He was laying on his side, his shoes were still on, and as he turned just enough to lock eyes with me, I saw that his had been open the whole time. He looked away, completely unaffected by my lingering in his doorway, though it made me shiver. I stepped past the threshold, and since he didn't immediately kick me out, I took a step closer to his bed.

"Hi," I chimed, hesitating.
"Hi." He sounded pitiful and didn't make eye contact, and I tried so hard to ignore how familiar this all seemed.

"You weren't at school today," I stated dumbly.
"I had a doctor's appointment."

I nodded to no one in particular. "Are you sick?"
He met my eyes this time, which weren't so much pitiful anymore as disbelieving, as if I'd asked the most obvious and frankly dumb question. He held my gaze for a long minute and it finally dawned on me just what sort of appointment he'd been at all afternoon.

"U-um, thanks for turning in your rough copy, I turned mine in too, so we're pretty on board." He was still staring as I rambled, and suddenly I forgot all about that pity, instead sparked by nerves by the icy glare. He nodded purposefully, slow and measured as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. I moved out of his way, assuming he was planning to stand, but he sighed heavily and remained seated, his eyes dropping to a set place on the wall.

I wasn't trained for this. No amount of Shakespeare could prepare me for talking someone out of a psychological thunderstorm, especially when that someone is the outrageously complex Elijah Goldsworthy. It couldn't be done. Going for broke, I decided that as obvious as it would be that I was changing the subject, he didn't have it in him to protest.

"Well, if I'm here anyway, we should work on the project," I decided, nodding once to convince myself. He exhaled thoughtfully and I watched his eyes scan left to right before he nodded back. "Fine, let me tell my parents I'm not going with them." He must have caught my eyebrow quirk, quickly explaining. "We were supposed to go to dinner."

My guilt set in, not even considering that Eli may have had prior plans before inviting myself to stay. "Oh... forget it, go with them, we can just work on it at school," I insisted, embarrassed. It was for naught, apparently, because he shook his head. "I've been looking for an excuse all night not to go, they won't ask questions about this." I wasn't sure if that was due to it being schoolwork or because it involved me, but I couldn't say I minded that it wouldn't be up for discussion. I nodded once more, keeping quiet as Eli bounded down the stairs. For the few moments he was gone, I was able to look around the room for the first time in a long time. It looked as Eli-esque as ever, with splashes of his persona strewed haphazardly around, but the biggest change was how unchanged was the progress with his decluttering. We'd managed to tackle a good deal of the room before our break up, but upon further inspection, I could see that the trash and knick knacks were in the exact same disorder as the last day we worked on it, right down to the plastic "Well Done" trophy I'd jokingly brought along to keep his encouraged. It earned me a kiss and itself a place on his desk. The ring of dust around it showed that it hadn't been budged since that day months ago. The guilt came back with a vengeance.

I sighed, genuinely saddened. "Why did you stop?" I only intended the whisper to be to myself, but too busy dwelling to hear the muffled steps up the carpeted staircase, I was mortified to hear a response.

"Why do you think?"

Once my heart regained a steady beat, I noticed how angry he looked. His face was animated finally, brows furrowed and the eyes above the dark circles slitted at me.

"Eli!" I gasped, knowing fully that I'd offended him. "I- Eli, I didn't think you were in the room, I wouldn't have asked you. Really!"

"Shouldn't make a habit of talking to yourself, that's a symptom of psychosis." As hopeful as I was that he was making a joke, albeit a dark one, his expression didn't change. "You know, I told my parents I was staying here, but I'm feeling pretty tired, actually. Maybe we should study another day."

Swallowing, I nodded, knowing he wasn't giving me the option. I tucked my folder under one arm and awkwardly moved towards the door, floundering for a goodbye.

"Okay. You sleep, we'll make arrangements at school tomorrow... and maybe we can dust."

I'm not sure what possessed me to offer such a thing, but I made a hasty exit from his room before he could reject it, and then another from the house before I had to explain the sudden change of plans to his parents. It was a nasty thing how strong my loyalty still lied in the Goldsworthy family, even if it wasn't mutual and even if it made zero sense. That's all the sense I'd been getting out of life lately.