Once Raphael returned from his patrol the next morning, he unsurprisingly saw his older brother up and about, already washing his cup of peppermint tea. He was always first to rise and, as far as the red banded brother was aware, last to turn in for the night.
Typical of fearless. Always trying to be the strong one.
He knew their father's passing was difficult for them all to accept, however fearless was once again portraying a brave face. Although he was the one that often helped his brothers to open up if they needed to, he rarely, if ever, released his own burdens.
"Hey Leo!" Raph shouted from across the lair. Leonardo sighed, knowing that Raph had only just returned from an all-nighter yet again. He turned and folded his arms in dismay.
"Just got back from the surface did you, Raph?"
"What's it to you? And why do you still wear those black coverings? Shred head's gone, ya know." Leonardo flinched as Raphael started to tread on eggshells.
"Karai says they suit me." Plausible – thought Leonardo.
"Why do you insist on patrolling the city on your own every night?" Leonardo retorted quickly to evade the subject.
"I do not insist on anything! You're the one that's driving us crazy with your daily mandatory chores and routines. We are not turtle tots anymore!"
"You do what you need to do, Raphael. Just please be safe out there."
"Safe?! There's nothing going on in the city! No Kraang, no rampaging mutants, no Tiger Claw or those other goons. Not even purple dragons. Heck I'd give anything for a fight out there."
"There's always something going on. You just need to look."
"What are you implying?" Both the elder turtles looked over to the presence that had now entered the kitchen. It was Donatello who had dropped in for another stimulating cup of coffee. He looked more withdrawn than normal with his head hanging down and hunched posture, eyes sunk in dark rings. If Leo hadn't kept up their training exercises there probably wouldn't be any muscle to hold up his skinny frame.
"Ah, look who has risen from his coffin."
"Not funny, Raph. 'Scuse me, Leo." Donatello clumsily sidestepped Leonardo towards the kettle.
"Sorry Donnie. Training at 9 as usual guys. I'll meet you in the dojo."
"Yeah yeah. Good luck waking Mikey up."
"Weren't you out all night? Aren't you tired?" Questioned Donatello.
"I don't need rest. I'd still beat your shell in the dojo."
"Whatever hothead…" Donatello had no energy to care, propping himself up on the counter.
As the eldest walked out of the room he wondered whether he should visit Karai. He felt guilty that he hadn't seen her recently, but he didn't want her to know how he really felt - the ongoing struggle of pain, guilt and shame, one that he could not share with his brothers. He had always been honest with her, but he didn't want to risk anything slip.
As he walked up to Michaelangelo's door, he paused before intending to knock, listening intently to their youngest peacefully snoring. He envied his brother's ability to sleep deeply for so long - or that's what he thought anyway. He was certain his most cheerful brother was also putting on a brave face in light of the grief that threatened to consume them all every day. He knew it was inevitable, but he had to help his brothers through this.
Leonardo regretfully turned away to retreat to his own room, going against his instincts in waking his younger brother from his slumber and dragging him out to the dojo for their scheduled training session.
A few more minutes wouldn't hurt…
He placed his katanas on a stand nearby and flopped backwards on his bed - breathing deeply and trying not to conjure up any thoughts whilst staring at his ceiling.
The room suddenly swirled and blurred as the world went dark. The leader sat up abruptly and surveyed his surroundings. The only light was the one sneaking through the cracks of his doorframe. Leonardo weakly stood up and began to walk towards it, but before he could turn the handle, he felt his heart stop as the door opened to reveal a familiar lair. It was not their safe haven of home but the shadowed and eerie lair that belonged to their nemesis. It was more of a dungeon than a lair despite having windows, Leo thought. He also pondered what the lair looked like during the day as the turtles had never infiltrated the lair in daylight. As he traced the two rippling pools running along the walkway, he stopped in his tracks as his blood froze. Trapped in the Shredder's chair was a weak and crimpled frame. Michaelangelo was almost unrecognisable. Darkened patches of skin had erupted across his body from both the pools of blood that had formed under his skin and numerous cuts - all in various stages of healing. His brother's head hung low in his unconscious state. Leonardo hoped that it was a relief from the obvious torture his brother had endured.
Take one more step and I'll prolong his misery.
The Shredder's deep and penetrating voice echoed throughout the lair and pierced the blue banded turtle like knives. Shredder stepped out from behind his throne to crouch over the youngest. Leonardo unsheathed his katanas.
"Don't hurt him! I'm the one you want. You can have me instead."
"I already have you, you wretched terrapin. Can you not see I already have you under my control? You would not risk the life of your brother."
"Let him go, and I'll take his place."
"Your strength is an illusion. You would not stand to fight me again."
"I would do anything to make you pay for what you did to my family."
"HA! You and I are more alike than you think."
"I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU! You're a monster who wants nothing but self-gratifying revenge."
"I am not the one fantasising the demise of his enemy in a heroic stance."
"Then let us end this!"
"You will destroy your family."
Before Leonardo could take a step, his enemy pulled back his brother's head and held his mouth open. The leader watched in horror as the Shredder plunged one of his blades in to his brother's screaming orifice. The screaming then turned in to a horrifying squelch noise which was then drowned out by choking and sobbing. His brother struggled in a desperate attempt to take in oxygen with his severed tongue and blood blocking his trachea as Shredder continued to pull his head back. Leonardo could see Michaelangelo's knuckles glistening white as he clutched on to the throne's arm rests. His body simultaneously contorted in agony.
"NOOOO! LET HIM GO!" Leonardo launched himself forward but the Shredder blocked the oncoming attack using his victim. Before Leonardo could retract his blade, he was met with the terrified and bloodied face of his youngest brother as he was propelled forward. His baby brother couldn't even scream or call out his name…His katana felt uncomfortably heavy and he felt violently sick seeing the blade protruding from his brother's shell. Leonardo's body began to shake; his legs buckled, unable to take the weight of his sword where his brother rested on the hilt. He carefully placed his dying brother on the floor before collapsing on all fours in horror.
"No…Mikey…"
He tried to stem the heavy blood flow from his brother's plastron with his belt and bandana but to no avail as the fabric quickly became soaked in the precious red fluid his brother was rapidly losing. He watched as his brother gasped for each molecule of oxygen he could muster.
"Not again. I can't do this again. Mikey, hang in there. PLEASE, HOLD ON! I'M SORRY!"
He begged for help to come. He begged for this to stop whilst he held his trembling brother in his arms and rocked him gently as he sobbed.
But help did not come…
As Michaelangelo's body finally stopped shaking, Leonardo knew it was over for him. Losing his father and his youngest brother made him question his own life. He grabbed his second katana and placed it against his own plastron, wanting to suffer the same pain and fate his brother had succumbed to.
"I…I…I can't do this anymore. I can't protect anyone. ANYONE."
Leonardo sat up in horror, perspiring profusely whilst being on the verge of hyperventilating. Although he was relieved it was a dream, it felt horrifically real. He felt exhausted but was too frightened to fall asleep again. As he felt his plastron and tried to calm his breathing, the stress on his heart suddenly increased when he heard heavy banging on his door.
"Yo Leo, you coming or what? 9am you said."
Leonardo frantically looked round for his clock which was now on the floor.
"Umm, yeah, I'll be there in a minute."
"Whatever. Even Mikey's waiting." The huge feeling of relief that his brother was still alive was quickly overridden by anguish. He thought if he cancelled training his brothers would find it suspicious. The leader listened intently for the heavy footsteps of his hot headed brother to leave the vicinity before collapsing back on the bed. He squirmed as he felt the damp sheets coat his body. The uncomfortable sensation forced him to leap back off the bed and rapidly change his wrappings/bandages before rushing to the dojo for training, pushing aside his feelings of exhaustion, nausea and dizziness.