"Leo?"

That voice…

"Leo? It's me. Donnie. If you can hear me, try to focus on your breathing and take some sloooow deep breaths."

Shell, my chest hurts…

"How long is this gonna last?"

"Raph, shut up. Panic attacks don't normally last long, but anything up to 20 minutes normally. We need to keep calm." Raphael huffed in response as Donatello leaned in closer to the terrapin ball of anguish.

"Everything's gonna be alright. You're safe. Nobody is gonna hurt you."

Leonardo honed in on his brother's hidden voice of concern which ironically he found calming. After some difficulty in taking some breaths, whilst hunched over with a constricted airway, he started to unfurl but continued to avoid eye contact.

"Heyyyy. There's our brother. It's going to be okay." Donatello desperately wanted to hold and comfort his brother, but his ongoing concern was that any physical contact would cause the eldest to have a relapse. He noticed his brother was still clutching his weakened arm, clenching his jaw and screwing up his face in response to the pain.

"Leo, I think you have a weakness in your shoulder from when the Shredder dislocated your arm. You're going to have to be a bit more careful in training."

There. You have it…even one of your own brothers say you now have a weakness.

Leonardo flinched in response.

"No no, it's ok. Remember when Mikey was eight he broke his ankle? Even though we told him to be extra careful, he still went off skateboarding. He took all sorts of risks when learning new tricks. Some were darn right dangerous - but he's had no problems since then. It's probably why he's so good at them. With some rest and then some strengthening exercises you should be fine." Leonardo continued to stare out in to an abyss Donatello couldn't see.

"I'll get you something for the pain, I promise. But I need you to trust me and come back to my lab. Then we can re-set your arm - and afterwards you'll feel much more comfortable. Can you do that?"

As overwhelming as the feelings of anxiety and shame were, Leonardo had no strength left to flee. His energy had been sapped out of him. He nodded and begrudgingly allowed his younger brother to guide him to his feet. However he shrunk inwards as he felt both his brothers staring at him – judging him for being so helpless.

I can't let them see me like this.

Leonardo's stride suddenly became more confident as he held himself upright and tall, regaining the posture of their leader as he headed for Donatello's laboratory. Raphael shrugged in response to his younger brother's questioning look.

The leader briefly cried out as his shoulder was set back in to its correct position, and he gratefully accepted a pack of ice Donatello handed to him as he massaged his shoulder. As he peered over his shoulder he quickly scanned over the wrappings on his arms for any obvious tears or signs of bleeding. Thankfully he saw nothing noticeable.

Leonardo then looked over to the one who inflicted his new found pain. His attacker was looking somewhat tense and obviously tried hard not to look in the leader's direction. As Leonardo turned to watch Donatello wrap his arm in a sling, he overheard a subtle comment.

"Pfft. Pussy." Leonardo was taken aback by his brother's comment.

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?" Raphael finally faced him but acted like nothing happened.

"What did you just say?"

"Bro I didn't say anythin'. I think Mikey clocked ya too hard." Leonardo forced himself off the cot and quickly marched up to the red banded turtle. Fortunately his medic had already finished wrapping up his damaged limb.

"If you want to say something Raph say it to my face!"

"Leo! What the heck is wrong with you? I didn't say nothin'!"

"Like hell you didn't."

"You need to lay off this attitude bro, it isn't like you."

"Stop calling me 'bro'! You did this to me!"

"Look I said I was sorry, alright?" Raphael was surprised at how unforgiving the leader was, and how quickly he lost his temper. He watched carefully as Leo's chest heaved, fearing his brother would suddenly explode, or potentially have another attack.

"Fine." Leo decided to take a breather and began to walk out the door. However, just within earshot he heard his brothers talking between themselves after he left their line of sight.

"Figures…"

"Don't worry, it's just attention seeking. He'll soon grow out of it."

Obviously they thought I was out of range.

"Well he'd better. I can't stand his moping around. He's no fun, and fighting him ain't much of a challenge any more. He's become weak. Maybe someone else should take over?"

"I agree. We'll talk to Mikey when he gets back."

No, they can't be saying that about me. They wouldn't. What the shell? One minute they support me, the next…they don't care…

See how quickly they try to cast you aside.

This makes no sense. Raph I can understand, but Donnie?

You believe you have always outdone yourself, and yet your brothers now question your actions.

You know nothing. Why won't you leave me alone?

Why? Because you need someone to set you on the right path now that your rat master is gone, to believe in you. Clearly you are not the leader your brothers hoped you would be. They have such expectations, and you obviously cannot suffice them.

I've led them this far haven't I?

Perhaps, but does it not concern you that they suddenly doubt your actions? Why don't you prove them wrong? Set things straight, and show them you can lead this shamble of a so-called team. Maybe it is them that are failing you.

I…I never thought of it that way.

Indeed

NO! My brothers have always had my back. They didn't fail me – I failed them!

I grow tired of your impudence. Will you not see reason? They want one of their own to take your place. See it this way: had they listened to your instincts about staying together before you reluctantly agreed to separate, would Hamato Yoshi still be alive?

They were following orders.

But they were not your orders. Even if you weren't so cowardly in leading them, they would still undermine your orders.

Well if that's the case, then things need to change around here…

"Grab your weapons." Leonardo suddenly raced back in to Donatello's laboratory, startling both turtles. Frustratingly for Donatello his patient had already removed his aid for recovery.

"What? Leo where's your sling? Your shoulder needs to recover."

"You said it yourself…some strengthening exercises would help. A little training isn't going to hurt, is it? Or should it?" Leonardo unsheathed his katana, eyes narrowed as he glared at them dangerously.

"Leo…"

"Leave it Donnie! Fearless needs to prove a point - one I'm only too happy to oblige." Raphael grinned as he took a step forward and pulled out his sai.

The fight between the oldest brothers started immediately within Donatello's laboratory as said turtle watched in horror.

This shouldn't be happening he thought.

Whilst Raphael relished in a fight, he noticed that his brother was more determined in his strikes in this round. Some were admittedly too close for comfort. Raphael dodged them just in time before getting slashed across the face by Leonardo's blades, however blocking the frequent and ferocious attacks were beginning to take their toll. Donatello shouted from across the room in fear of his immediate brother's safety.

"Guys, that's enough!"

Raphael struggled as his legs gave way and Leonardo pinned him down on his shell. His precious sai were the only defence in preventing his head from getting diced.

"You know what fearless? I don't wanna play this…grrr…twisted…game…anymore."

"Why do you always belittle me?" Leonardo's anger bared down on Raphael heavier than the force against his plastron.

"Think of it…as encouragement. You always wanna to be the top turtle."

"And yet I am not! You guys don't think I have what it takes to be a leader anymore." A confused Raphael paused temporarily in his physical struggle to decipher what Leo meant by what he just said.

"What're you talkin' about?"

"I have always been there for you, and this is how you treat me?"

"Leo, you're not making sense. Let's talk about this." Donatello cautiously approached his mentally unstable brother.

"I want my team to treat me with the respect that I have for them."

"You call pinning down your brother respect?" Donatello interjected.

"You said I was weak!"

"No, that's not what I said. I said you potentially have a weakness from when the Shredder ripped your arm out."

"That's the same thing!"

"But it isn't!"

"Oh I'll show you weakness, Leo…"

"Raph, DON'T!"

Raphael trusted his strength and timing in reaching out and pulling down on the leader's weakened arm – hard! He successfully heard the sickening pop he wanted and took advantage of Leo's painful distraction in rising back on his feet. Whilst trying to counter a provoked attack, the leader aggressively kicked from behind, forcing Raphael's knees to buckle once again. The red banded turtle was suddenly pushed face first in to the ground; his heart surged to his mouth as he felt both sai being ripped from his tight grip.

When Donatello jumped forward to intervene, he was unexpectedly elbowed in the chest and sent flying backwards. What he saw next hurt a lot more than the initial blow he had suffered.

There was a blood curdling scream as Raphael felt one of his sai being plunged in to his left hand. Leonardo felt a small vibration resonate through the blade as it hit the concrete below the soft flesh and bone it destroyed. Raphael tried his best to muffle the cursing by shoving his face in to the floor, hoping it would help him to block the searing pain coursing through his hand.

"Now you know…what it feels like Raph…to have a weakness…"

"Leo! STOP THIS!"

Leonardo ignored Donatello's outburst and sneered as he playfully twisted the sai embedded in Raphael's hand, prolonging his victim's pain and contentedly watch him squirm. Leonardo's victim tried to grasp on to something with his other hand in desperation and swallowed dryly as he watched a small puddle of dark blood form underneath his palm. His blood ran cold as his brother knelt down to his level and whispered:

"Be careful what you wish for, brother."

Author: Shredder's really messing with Leo's mind :) Sorry for the long wait!