A/N: This is the reveal/confession from Kara's POV.
What Do We Have Left to Lose?
As a kid, my hands were red
When you asked me I denied it
I've told lies that never came true
I have stolen and so have you
If we can make it through another day
With you believing in my innocence
And we can make it through another year
Cause we both need it to forget this fear
If it's all the same to you
Then it's just a little white lie
Then it's all the same to me
And it's just a little white lie
White Lie - The Lumineers
Kara forces herself to relax, arranging her body to lean casually against the concrete wall as the visiting room door swings open. Lena Luthor's immaculate figure appears in its frame, hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail that only emphasizes the angular beauty of her face. The urge to fidget overwhelms Kara, but she swallows her nerves and crosses her arms deliberately. As if she is bored of waiting. As if she hasn't been pacing the hallway like a lunatic, listening to every breath, every word which has escaped this woman's mouth.
"Did you get what you wanted?"
Lena freezes. Her jade eyes find Kara— find Supergirl and that satisfied smile falls flat. Kara clenches her jaw, wishing for the tenth time that she had changed. But there are no good explanations which would allow Kara Danvers to appear here. Not after Supergirl barged into the Luthors' tete-a-tete.
"You waited for me?" Lena inquires cooly, her voice as sharp as the cruel slant of her lips. "How nice. Here I was thinking a big hero like yourself would be too busy to worry about little ole me."
Kara can feel the anger radiating off the Luthor, but her own indignation rises to meet it. Because she already knows what Lena asked of her mother, how Lillian offered to 'educate' her. Kara heard the whole conversation — heard how Lena is willing to risk it all, risk falling back into her toxic, shadowed past for James. To protect him. Sacrificing her own safety and hard-won integrity. Thick frustration forces Kara to ask again and spur some confession.
"Why are you meeting with Lillian?" she demands, eyes grazing over Lena as if she might see the hint of her betrayal as a tangible thing. "What did she say to you?"
"I don't answer to you, Supergirl," Lena states simply before turning down the hallway.
Hot determination flashes through Kara and she speeds after Lena, easily surpassing the Luthor to impede her path. You may not answer to me, but you do answer to the law. Would they approve of what you're planning with your mother? That's what Kara intends to say, but the words catch in her throat as Lena barrels into her.
Kara's hands reach out instinctively, fingers latching onto Lena's hips to prevent her from tumbling backwards. The Super silently curses herself for forgetting the delayed reaction time of humans. Because Lena's heartbeat has spiked dramatically. Kara can hear the thump thump echoing sporadically in her ears. She opens her mouth to apologize, but Lena's words cut through her first.
"Don't touch me. And don't get in my way."
Kara's arms fall limply to her side as Lena steps away. And something twists painfully in her chest at those words. She thinks it must be the distance between them. Because ever since the DEO, just being Supergirl around Lena has hurt, pinched like a shirt four sizes too small.
But Kara pushes those feelings away and instead tries to reconcile the cool indifference of Lena's face with the sound of her fast beating heart. "Why are you being so defensive?"
"Why are you so determined to find me guilty?" Lena snaps even as she begins to back away. The Luthor switches directions, moving to brush past Kara, but the blonde reaches out and presses her hand gently against Lena's arm. It's a light touch, infinitesimal really. Yet Lena jerks away as if she has been burned. Her back hits the concrete wall and pain flashes across her face. Kara steps forward quickly, but her words of concern wither as the Luthor's cool mask locks back into place.
The Super smiles bitterly, shaking her head, "You're making it very easy, Lena. First I find you plotting with that woman and now you're avoiding answering any of my questions—"
"That woman is my mother, Supergirl."
Lena's words hit Kara like a physical blow. Mother. Mother. How could she still call Lillian that after everything the woman had put her through? Sharp anger turns Kara's stomach and she has to twist away because her eyes have begun to burn. The last thing she needs right now is to melt a hole in the prison wall with her lazer vision. She can only imagine what kind of fodder it would provide for the anti-alien movement. She can just see the headlines: Supergirl loses it in National City Prison. DANGER. And if she is honest, Kara doesn't want to frighten Lena. She's never wanted that.
Breathing deeply, Kara turns back around and braces her hands against the wall. Her arms shake slightly as she reigns in the intensity of her emotions and asks in clear, enunciated words, "Did you forget thatshe tried to kill you?"
Lena's green eyes flare, "She didn't—"
"That woman would have let you die—"
"I don't see how that's any of your—"
"—and if not for me, you would have!" Kara finishes in a low voice. Her breath comes in sharp lungfuls as she stares back at Lena, daring her to argue. The Luthor's mouth falls open, cheeks flushing slightly. Then Lena's face twists into something darker and Kara has a moment to register uncertainty at the sudden change.
"Is that what this is about?" Lena hisses. "Have you not received enough gratitude, Supergirl? Do you want me on my knees, groveling, thanking you for my life?"
The venom in those words hollows out Kara's stomach as efficiently as any sledgehammer. And her heart stalls a beat, the next inhalation tasting like needles. She straightens, "No, of course—"
But it's not enough for Lena. The Luthor pushes off the wall and into Kara with a cold fire in her eyes. "Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? Should I be running it by the DEO any time I wish to speak to the woman who raised me?"
"Lena, stop—"
"Why? Because the mighty Supergirl ordains it so?"
Lena advances steadily. Her harsh words grow louder and merge together to become a sharp ringing in Kara's ears. And the Super isn't even aware of giving ground. She isn't aware of anything except Lena's face, of the way the Luthor sneers with both malice and delight as she drives the Super back. It is a look that reminds Kara far too much of Lex, of those horrific mugshots from the paper. The ones that had his twisted, cruel smile above a quote which read, "I did it. I set the world on fire and I'm not sorry." He would do it again the article said. And he was friends with Clark once. Just as Lena is friends with Kara now.
With that thought, a familiar fear sweeps over Kara. And it's the same crippling anxiety which keeps her up at night — paralyzed by the smallest possibility that Lena might one day do the same. She doesn't want to think it. Just the words in her head feel like a betrayal of her best friends. And yet… if it did happen. If Lena listened to Lilian, joined the anti-alien movement, and reformed Cadmus. If Kara had to face her one day across a crowded street littered with smoke and civilians… No, Kara is not sure she would be able to be Supergirl, to protect anyone… let alone herself. Tears pool in the corners of Kara's eyes as her back hits the far wall.
"Lena," she begs softly, pleading. But the hard shell over the Luthor's face doesn't crack and Kara's eyes fall. She stares at the gray stone beneath their feet, unsure of how she finds the stomach to utter the next six words. "You really do hate me then."
"Yes."
The word is brittle, hard, and unforgiving. A sharp heat lances through Kara as it registers — the confirmation of all her fears. Because even though she said those words, she only half believed them. Kara breathes in sharply, blinking back the moisture in her eyes. She twists Lena into the concrete wall and then forces her shaking hands away from the Luthor's shoulders. Because right now Kara can't trust her own strength.
"How?" The Super demands, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. She braces her palms against the wall and takes a deep breath before asking in a more steady voice. "How is it possible that you can hate me? After everything. After all the times I saved you. Or do you not remember?"
Lena smiles bitterly, "Only as well as I remember the time you accused me of aiding and abetting a Worldkiller."
"But I was right to not trust you!" Kara insists, the memory pounding through her blood. "You created Kryptonite!"
"I didn't make it to hurt you!"
"How could I know that?"
"How could you not?"
How could you not? The question rings in Kara's ears as she stares at Lena. How could you not? And there it is — the issue between them. It's always the same. Always. And guilt floods Kara even as she tastes that familiar panic on her lips, that uncontrollable fear of betrayal, of hurt and of loss. Things that have not yet come to pass, but just in their fragmented possibility become real monsters which haunt her.
She never thought Lena would come to mean so much to her, to Kara Danvers. Time and time again, Kara reminded herself not to get too close. Not to let Lena all the way in. But the Luthor didn't have the same qualms. Maybe it was because she didn't know the truth. Maybe the truth wouldn't have mattered. But Lena had just pushed and pushed and pushed until Kara's walls dissolved. Until there was not a single person outside of her family that Kara cared for more. Friends who she had known for years felt superficial and lacking in comparison to the brief hours she got to spend with Lena. No one could make her laugh quite as hard or feel as seen in just a few short words. But now… You really do hate me.
Lena doesn't know the truth and now that Kara is sure her hatred for Supergirl, the Luthor never will. Kara can never tell her, never be completely herself, never breathe easy or stop looking over her shoulder. She'll never stop wondering if one day Lillian might tell Lena everything and Kara would be forced to watch her whole world collapse under the consuming rage that was sure to follow. Kara wouldn't survive it. Couldn't survive it. She would leave Earth. She would rather float in a pod for another twenty-four years than spend one day as Lena Luthor's enemy.
A shaky inhalation draws Kara's attention back to the prison hallway. Lena's indifferent mask has crumpled and a tear tracks slowly down her pale cheek. Kara's breath catches in her throat as she watches its progress. She has to do something. Has to fix this. Somehow.
"Lena," she speaks softly, hesitantly.
"Stop."
Cold fingers press into Kara's stomach and her heart stalls at the unexpected contact. Her hands flatten instinctively over Lena's, trapping the brunette's fingers against her stomach and warming them. It's strangely intimate. Kara recognizes that. But her mind fixates on more important things. On the abnormal chill of Lena's fingers. On her desire to keep the Luthor there, to soothe things somehow. Kara's eyes drag up from her torso where their hands merge and she frowns, "Lena, look at me."
"I can't."
Kara's frown deepens and she steps a bit closer. Lena's face is turned to the side, her eyes squeezed shut. The Luthor's skin is flushed and the trail of that single tear still glistens under the fluorescent lighting. Something twists inside Kara as she stares at the beautiful woman standing before her, at her best friend in the whole world. This person she has lied to everyday since they met. Kara might never be able to admit the truth, but she can try to apologize for it.
Her stomach coils as she reaches up to touch the Luthor's alabaster skin. Lena's eyes snap open and her head turns until her cheek is pressed into the Super's palm. And Kara cannot remember how to breath. She tries to speak through the lack of oxygen and her voice sounds hoarse even in her own ears, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I never meant to. I didn't know what to do and I panicked."
"You could have trusted me."
"I wish I had. This rift between us has been killing me."
Lena's breath hitches, heart rate spiking. Kara mentally runs through her own words to see if she gave something away… but there's nothing, no big secret revealed. So she tries to pretend things are normal, tries to smile even as Lena pushes her away and asks her why.
"What?"
"Why has this rift been killing you?"
Kara opens her mouth, searching for an suitable answer. The only thing that comes to mind is a small and vital truth. "I care about you."
"Why?"
Kara's face flushes, "What do you mean why?"
"Just answer the question."
"You are my friend," she splutters and takes a step back, trying and failing to maintain a semblance of calm. "Of course, I care about you!"
"I'm your friend?"
"Yes."
"When did that happen?" The Luthor's voice is sharp as steel again and her hard, green eyes seem to stare through Kara's soul. "You saved my life twice and I am grateful. Truly. I mean, I built you a freaking statue! But other than helping each other out on a few occasions, we have never spent time together. We're not friends. So why do you care about me?"
"Lena Luthor, you are my friend whether you like it or not."
"You're my friend?"
"Yes," Kara sighs, throwing her hands wide. How can she convince Lena of this? But the Luthor's expression is tentative, quizzical as she regards Kara silently. Her fine, dark eyebrows bunch together as her arms cross over her chest.
"Put your hair up, now."
"What?!" Kara's heart beats a rapid rhythm in her chest. Of all the weird things for Lena to say… Even as her brain tries to rationalize the statement, Kara can hear warning bells ringing.
"Put. Your. Hair. Up." Lena steps forward, mouth twisting into a vicious smile as she adds, "Did you bring your glasses with you?"
Kara's heart ceases to beat. The world around her slows to a crawl and for a full five seconds her body seems to shut down. Because this cannot be happening. This was never supposed to happen. Not now.
Without conscious thought, one hand flies to the side of her face. And it's that movement which solidifies the certainty in Lena's eyes. Kara sees the determined, victorious expression set on the Luthor's features. Sees it as clearly as she can still hear their words pounding through her head. You hate me then. Yes. You hate me then. Yes. Yes. Yes.
"I— I have to go," Kara breathes out through the pain in her chest. She whirls around and starts moving her feet, willing her body to function through whatever haze has taken hold. She can't breath. Can't think. Can't feel anything past the raw thumping in her chest. The only thing propelling her legs forward is the promise that if Kara moves fast enough she won't have to witness the determination on her best friend's face turn into rage, into unadulterated hate. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Kara Danvers, don't you dare leave."
She whirls around at the shrillness in Lena's voice, but even that is painful. Because Kara can already see the steady descent, see the hurt that shimmers over the Luthor's features. Hurt which will soon twist into something far darker. And it will be because of her. Because of Supergirl. Because of Kara Danvers.
She can see it all now. Everything Kara has always dreaded will come to pass because of her. Not in spite of her lies. But because of them. If she had only been honest in the beginning. If she had told Lena… but it's too late now. She gasps out through broken lungs, head shaking, "I can't—"
"If you leave now," Lena growls at her, "we are not friends anymore."
"Lena, I—" Her blue eyes drift up, unsure if the Luthor realizes that she has implied that there is still a possibility, a chance, a hope. But Kara can see that fragile warmth cracking from the inside out. And it's so painful to watch. It's all her fault. "I'm sorry," she whispers through trembling lips. "It's just too much."
A long, low laugh escapes the Luthor and the hollow sound sends a shiver down Kara's spine. The beginning of the end. Acid drips through Lena's words, spreading like some necrosis across the floor between them, "It's too much for you? You've been lying to my face ever since we met and this is too much for you?"
The resentment in her words is another physical blow and Kara takes a few steps back as if the movement alone can save her. The bright hallway and the woman in it swim before Kara as her eyes fill with tears. "Lena—"
"No. No, you don't get to do this," Lena snarls, but there is a frantic edge to her voice. "You don't get to just walk away from me. The Kara Danvers I know is not a coward. Or did you lie about that too?"
Kara's legs become roots. Her chest heaves as she tries to gain control of her breathing and this situation… but it's useless. She brings her hands to cover her stinging eyes, rubbing her face like she might push the watery liquid back into her body. Again, useless. Her hands fall heavy to her side and knock the breath from her lungs.
Lena stands only a few feet from her now, green eyes narrowed in vivid accusation. And Kara cannot bring herself to put more distance between them. So she just stands there, defeated. She lets Lena scrutinize her, lets the Luthor's harsh gaze judge her worth and no doubt find her lacking. She reminds herself to shut the fuck up, to not make things worse than they already are. But she doesn't look down, doesn't allow herself that relief. She forces herself to watch every minute change in Lena's expression. Maybe it's a punishment. And if it is, Kara thinks she deserves it.
"Well?"
"I'm sorry," Kara whispers.
"Sorry for what?"
"For lying."
"That's not good enough!"
"I know!" The admission explodes from her mouth, a floodgate opened. Kara's hands rake through her hair in one last attempt to quench the deluge that is coming, but it's like trying to change the tide or move a mountain. Her nervousness bubbles to the surface and brings every hidden truth with it. She loses track of time, loses awareness of the words that flow out of her mouth. They are inconsequential compared to the fierce nameless emotion ripping its way through her chest.
"I'd lost you once as Supergirl," Kara hears herself say, "and I didn't want to do it again as Kara Danvers. So… maybe I am more of a coward than either of us realized! But I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to lose you… I know all of this just sounds like excuses, but it's the truth. You are too important to me and I panicked."
Kara looks at Lena, desperate and a little hopeful, because she never thought they would get this far. She never imagined that Lena would let her explain or even want her to… after everything. But Lena simply shakes her head and the movement sends shards through Kara's heart.
"Everything you just said should have been more motivation to be honest with me. You don't build a friendship on lies, Kara. I told you everything about me. The good stuff. The bad. All the stuff about my family. I told you everything. And you should have been honest."
"I know."
"And why, if you're my best friend, are you here questioning me? Do you know how much that hurts? It's one thing for Supergirl to do it, but you, Kara? Do you really not trust me?"
"Of course, I trust you!"
"Then why were you here?"
"I don't know!" But that's only half true. Because she does trust Lena, she just doesn't trust herself. And that's the problem. That's always been the problem.
"Why did you wait and make me feel guilty for seeing my mother?"
"Because she hurt you!" Kara steps forward, her expression wild as her mind flashes back to seeing Lena nearly unconscious on the floor. "She almost killed you! She manipulates you left and right and I can't stand the sad look on your face after you see her. So I waited to see if you were alright."
"And then made me feel like a criminal."
Kara inhales sharply, taking in the pained twist of Lena's features. "I messed up, okay? I messed up."
Lena stares at the ground like she cannot quite believe the words coming from Kara's mouth. And the Super can't blame her. She had messed up. So badly. Because from day one her gut had told her that she could trust Lena. But Kara had spent so much time trying to figure out if she was wrong, spent so much time doubting herself, that she had made her best friend feel like a criminal. Kara's insidious doubt had grown like a mold between them and now she could only hope it wasn't too late. She could only hope there was enough of their friendship left to recover.
"Can you forgive me?"
Lena's gaze doesn't leave the floor, but she sounds tired when she finally says, "I don't know."
"Why?" The word leaves Kara's mouth before she can stop it. And as soon as it floats between them, she cannot help but echo it. "Why?"
Lena sighs, "Because it's more complicated than that."
"How can it be more complicated? Everything is out in the open now! Everything. There are no more secrets between you and me."
"Well, that's not entirely true."
"What do you mean?" Kara insists, feeling her desperation rising like a tidal wave.
"Nothing." Lena's cold mask slips back into place, deftly obscuring her emotions once more. Kara shakes her head even as Lena says quietly, "Just forget it, okay?"
The Luthor steps past Kara and this time she lets her. Not because she wants to, but because Kara cannot move. The tidal wave has hit with crippling force. She stands stunned, her face falling even as she listens to the fading echo of Lena's heels against the concrete floor. A door closes. Kara tries to breath, but nothing comes into her lungs. She is frozen in place where Lena left her.
Time slows to a crawl around Kara. She can hear the tick of the hall clock like a slow metronome. She can hear the faint whisper of a fly's wings rubbing together and the long scuff of a guard's boot from somewhere down the hall. Then, just as suddenly, the world fast forwards into motion. Because this can't be how it ends. Not while Kara is still breathing. Not while she still has strength to fight for a better future.
Her muscles lengthen and contract at an inhuman speed as she moves through the prison and bursts through the front doors. And for the first time in so long, Kara acts on instinct rather than thought as she shoots up and lands in front of Lena, blocking her path once more. The Luthor stumbles slightly.
"What did you mean?" Kara steps forward. "I'm not gonna forget it. Not when you think there are still secrets between us. I've told you everything."
"I know that."
Kara's mouth opens, then shuts in confusion. Her brows furrow, "Then what is it?"
"Just—"
"Do you have a secret?"
"Kara—"
The guilt written across Lena's face steals something from Kara's soul. And suddenly she's no longer a Danvers, but Supergirl. Something bigger than herself. She manages to keep her voice soft as she demands an answer, "What did you do?"
"What?"
"Is this about the Kryptonite?"
"Of course, that's where your mind would go," the Luthor laughs hollowly.
"I'm serious Lena. There are some very dangerous people who are targeting aliens and if you gave them—"
"It's not about the Kryptonite, Kara!"
"Then what did you do?"
"Stop accusing me of doing something! I'm not going to tell you. Not here. Not—"
"Fine," Kara appeases, her brain working at twice the normal speed for a solution. "We can go somewhere else."
"What? That's not what I—"
Kara wraps her arms tightly around the shorter woman and lifts off. The startled noise Lena makes is caught in her throat and ripped away by the wind as the Super pulls her closer. Kara angles herself so that she can take the brunt of the current across her own back. But any worry for Lena is mitigated by the breathless expletives which the Luthor finds the energy to shout in Kara's ear. 'Put me down, you heathen!' A gust of air takes the rest then, 'Don't you dare drop me.' and 'I'm going to fucking kill you, Kara Danvers.' The last one lands painfully in the Super's chest, but the ache is almost immediately soothed as Lena's hands snake around Kara's waist and cling to her. Kara tries to expand her lungs, but finds her breath stuck as Lena turns away from the wind, tucking her head beneath the Super's chin. And for those brief, soaring moments, Kara can almost pretend that everything is normal. That Lena knows the truth and it hasn't broken them. But the illusion is over too quickly.
Kara flies them through the window of her apartment and lands in the middle of her living room. Lena wobbles and Kara braces her arms in support, only to be shoved away a second later.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Kara opens her mouth to answer, but is distracted by the Luthor's disheveled state. Wisps of ebony hair flutter around Lena's face and a large lock has escaped from her high ponytail. It's so different from the Luthor's normally pristine appearance that it reminds Kara how fragile she is, how human, how precious… and the warm feeling which fills Kara brings a wry smile to her face despite the angry fire in Lena's eyes.
Lena huffs and tucks the lock behind her ear, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"You said you couldn't tell me there, so I brought you to my apartment."
"If you had let me finish, you would know that I did not plan to tell you at all. Not here. Not ever."
Kara feels the smile fall from her face, but she doesn't take her eyes from Lena's as she says quietly, "Whatever you've done, you can tell me."
"How convenient seeing as we're not friends anymore and you're a liar."
"I stayed. I didn't walk away," Kara argues. "You may not have forgiven me yet, but I will always be your friend. Just tell me what you did!"
"Why do you keep assuming I've done something?"
"Didn't you?"
"No."
"Then what is this big secret?"
"I never said it was big."
"No, but this conversation tells me it is. I'm not stupid, Lena."
Lena scoffs, crossing her arms, "Am I your hostage now?"
"WHAT?!" The word explodes from Kara's mouth like a tripped mine.
"Seeing as you basically kidnapped me from the prison, I thought we should be clear about what this is. Am I free to leave?"
"Of course—"
"Good."
Kara watches aghast as Lena spins to leave, her expression as glacial and indifferent as when she first walked through the visiting room door. But it cannot end like this. That is the one thought spinning through Kara's mind as she rushes to the door, using her body as a barricade against Lena's warpath. And she's lost count now of how many times she has tried to stop her best friend from leaving, from giving up on them. It feels like the only thing keeping them together and what if it's not enough? What if Kara is not enough?
"Just wait," she pleads, hands raised before her. "Don't leave like this."
Lena purses her lips, unwilling to look at Kara. "Why not? I don't trust you. You don't trust me. We're not friends anymore. Why should I stay?"
Why should I stay? Kara is at a loss. She doesn't know the right words to make this better. She's never had that ability. Sure, she has made speeches as Supergirl. She has inspired the masses. But she is just Kara Danvers now. She doesn't have the collected clarity to make this highly intelligent person choose to stay, not when Lena is clearly so determined to leave.
"Fine. Don't stay," a sigh escapes Kara and she wraps her arms into herself. "But if I've already lost you, then why not make it a clean break, huh? Whatever this secret is, you can tell me. If you think it's going to hurt me, don't worry about it. I promise you that there is nothing you can say that will hurt more than you walking away like this."
"And I promise that telling you is going to hurt me more than you."
Kara looks up from the ground, looks up at Lena. "I would never do anything to hurt you."
"You can't guarantee that. You might not mean to, but you will. I know it."
Kara shakes her head at the certainty on Lena's face. How could she not know? After all this time, how could Lena not know what she means to Kara? What their friendship means? Kara has never felt close with someone like this. Not until Lena. And yet… how could Lena possibly know that? Between all the lunch dates and coffee and donuts, Kara had never bothered to stop and just say it.
Even as Kara stares at Lena now, knowing that those words might be the only thing holding them together, she cannot say them. She doesn't even know how to begin to say them. How can she explain something that she hasn't figured out herself? The words that come out feel like a vague shadow compared to what is pounding in her heart, "What do we have left to lose?"
Her eyes meet Lena's and something shifts behind those jade orbs. They widen as Kara continues to stare back, silently daring her to admit whatever secret still lies between them. Lena's gaze wanders over Kara's face as if she is searching for some proof of her sincerity. And Kara opens her mouth to insist on it, but the words freeze in her throat as Lena steps forward. Two steps.
The first brings them together — Kara straightens against the door, confused, trying to give Lena space. But the Luthor doesn't want space. With her second step Lena eliminates the air between them, pressing herself into the Super. And Kara's breath stalls at the feel of Lena, at the softness of her curves which seem to fit into Kara's own ridges, disappearing until there is no discernable line between them.
Lena's hands ghost over Kara's face. And even though her touch is feather light, Kara's skin ignites under the brunette's fingers. Blue eyes widen as the Luthor leans in, Lena's fingers smoothing over her furrowed brows like she can sense Kara's confusion. Lena draws closer still and panic rises firmly in Kara's chest. Because there is a line. A line that is about to be crossed that cannot be uncrossed. A ledge. One that she won't be able to simply fly back over. And Kara feels utterly human in that moment. As Lena's green eyes fill her vision. Because it's the first time she has felt truly helpless, fragile, unable to stop whatever future is coming.
Kara inhales and Lena catches the breath on her tongue. She presses a kiss to Kara's lips and allows her own exhale to fill the Super's mouth. A soft noise leaves Kara's throat and Lena swallows it, pulling Kara's bottom lip between her teeth before capturing her mouth fully. She lingers there, paying homage to Kara like she is something to be savored. Then her tongue flicks against Kara's lips and the blonde thinks she can taste cinnamon and toffee on the other woman's tongue.
The synapses in Kara's brain are misfiring as she tries to wrap her mind around the complexity of everything she is feeling. But she can't. It's too much. Too big. Too heavy. It weighs her stomach down, some thrumming heaviness deep within her. And yet her ribs expand with air, with lightness. Her breath the only function which prevails without command — an instinctive response. And as Lena pushes into her and captures her mouth one last time, Kara thinks she might cry, feels that tightness coiling in her throat. Because in this one interaction her whole world is crumbling. Everything she thought she knew about herself falling to dust beneath the gentle pressure of Lena's lips.
She can't do anything but breathe as Lena pulls away to look at her. In. Out. In. Out. She can't do anything but stare straight ahead as Lena presses her cheek against Kara's own. She cannot feel her own body or hear her own thoughts as Lena speaks in a hushed whisper:
"I'm in love with you Kara Danvers. That's my secret. I love you."
Kara blinks. Breathes. In. Out. In. Out. She wants to say something, anything, but nothing is working properly. She is in freefall. The line, the ledge is a hundred feet above her and the ground still so far below. And there is wind rushing through her ears, drowning out any clarity that will surely… that must come with landing.
In. Out. Lena's shaky breath punctuates her own. Kara can feel the door being pulled open behind her, feel the splinters where her fingers have dug divets in the wood. Then a loud click as the door latches shut again. And that distinctive Luthor footfall which grows softer then fades all together.
Kara's muscles tremble as the strength leaves her body, every limb stinging like a foot that has fallen asleep. She slides along the door, legs giving out beneath her until she's sitting on the floor of her apartment. The sound of her breathing echoes through the empty space, ricocheting back to her own ears. In. Out. In. Out. She blinks and looks around, feeling utterly lost. Alone. And her breathing pattern shatters then, cracks as a sob breaks free.
She buries her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. And finally sound escapes her lips. One word which falls like a confession to floor. One name. Too late.
"Lena."
A/N: This started as a one-shot, but now I don't know. I might turn it into a longer story. Let me know what you think and if I should!