A/N: I know, I know it's been FOREVER. I hope you like this next bit :) Again, no beta so forgive any minor mistakes!

This chapter is dedicated to all of you lovely people who reviewed the first two chapters. This story would have gone nowhere without your overflowing enthusiasm. Thank you!

I've been watching you
For some time
Can't stop staring
At those oceans eyes
Burning cities
And napalm skies
Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes
Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

Lena tilts her head to the side, catching her bottom lip between white teeth to stop the frustrated expletive from leaving her mouth. Her brows furrow as she watches the human heart shrivel within its glass casing. Black spreads across the muscle until nothing remains but necrotic flesh.

Lena breathes in deeply, just once, and then sets her jaw, turning, "Burn it."

The words fall flat in the empty lab and echo against the smooth tile floor. Lena freezes. Her green eyes search the space once more, but Eve is nowhere in sight. The Luthor lets out a long sigh. She remembers now. Her assistant had mentioned something about an errand and then emails… but that had been, what, an hour ago? Lena is not sure.

She finds the control tablet and taps her index finger against its glossy surface. Flames explode within the case, incinerating the diseased organ until nothing remains but wispy, gray flakes. Lena watches the ash flutter to the bottom of the case and only when the last piece settles does she turn away, trading her tablet for a much smaller device. The button on the voice recorder clicks audibly when she switches it on, the sound almost identical to the sharp tapping of her heels as she heads back to her office.

"Trial 178… the artificially sustained heart functioned optimally for ninety seconds post-injection before showing signs of rapid decline. Severe increase in bpm. Constriction of the blood vessels. Darkening of the tissue due to loss of oxygenated blood…" Lena pauses, sinking into the chair behind her desk. She swivels to face the glass wall and frowns, confronted by a clear blue sky. She closes her eyes. "All the usual signs. Will try increasing levels of amlodipine to compensate for restriction of blood vessels. Perhaps switch the type of medication? An ARB or nitrate instead a calcium channel blocker. Or…"

Silence stretches on, begging to be filled. But Lena finds that she does not know what to say, what notes to add, what to do to make this insane gambit work. She's exhausted. It's been too long since she had a decent night's rest.

A slow exhale leaves her and she clicks the recorder off. She twists her chair around, eyes catching on the holographic clock on her desk. 11:29. Lena snorts softly with a shake of her head. It's not even midday. Maybe she'll have Eve bring her a coffee. Yes, that's exactly what she needs.

Lena is reaching for the intercom when her phone dings. A little banner pops up to remind her about 'Lunch.' She frowns at the mundane note. Then heat rushes through her body and she breathes in sharply. Fuck. No, no, no… shit.

Lunch stares back at her from the fluorescent screen and Lena groans running a hand over her face. She had almost forgotten. Almost succeeded in purging the memory from her brain. That moment of stupidity she'd had shortly after leaving Kar—after leaving Uptown.

It's too late to cancel now. Lena may be mentally berating herself, but she is still a professional, an adult. It would be childish to cancel so last minute.

Lena glances down at herself and runs a hand over the rough silk of her hunter green shift dress. It's not the nicest thing she owns, but it will have to do. There's no time to change. And her hair is… fine. Messier than normal, yes. But…

She pushes back from her desk and walks to the mirror, intent on fixing the ridiculous atrocity that had somehow passed for acceptable at six o'clock this morning. Her footsteps falter when a sharp knock rattles the door. Is she already here? Half an hour is surely far too early to be considered punctual. Lena's pulse steadies when she determines that it must be Eve and opens her mouth to tell her assistant to come in. But before any words can leave her lips, the large door is pushed open and a familiar head of golden hair pokes through. Not Eve.

Air rushes from Lena's lungs and her throat tightens as she stares back at Kara. Her green eyes rove over the blonde, noting the look of wary determination which furrows the Super's face. Kara is wearing a simple pair of black denim jeans with a pale floral top and the burgundy loafers which Lena knows are her favorite. She looks… good. Fine. Perfect. Unaffected. And it makes Lena all the more conscious of the faint circles under her own eyes and the bits of hair which stick out. Still, Lena tilts her chin up slightly.

"Yes?"

"I—ummm, well, I—" Kara steps through the door and then leans against it, adjusting her glasses. Lena swallows, a sudden panic rising as the latch clicks shut. She only manages to school her features from years of practice.

"What is it?" Lena raises her brows before turning to the mirror. She meets Kara's wide cerulean eyes in the reflective surface. "I don't have time for unannounced visits. Why don't you make an appointment with Eve—"

"Lena, come on," Kara's expression has lost some of its confidence, but the conviction remains. "It's me. I—I just want to talk to you."

"And are you here as a friend or because you need something? Though… if I'm honest the two seem to be one and the same recently."

"A friend."

"Oh?" Lena slides her gaze back to her own reflection, forcing her hands to steady enough so that she can fix the rough plait from this morning.

"I—" Kara's voice sounds closer now, but Lena refuses to look away from her task. "I've been worried about you."

"Have you?"

"Of course. You haven't returned any of my calls and James—"

"You've been talking to James?" Lena cannot keep the surprise from her voice. A small pause stretches between them as Lena finishes her braid and pins it up.

"Did you expect me not to?"

Lena turns to find the blonde woman only an arm's length away. She forces a smile, "I don't expect anything from you, Kara."

The Super lets out a short, frustrated breath, crossing her arms, and stares back at the Luthor. Kara's jaw works and her mouth opens then closes, then opens again as if she cannot quite find the words to speak.

"What?" Lena snaps. She doesn't have time for this. Not now.

"Why did you break up with James?"

Lena's lips part and she laughs in disbelief, "That is a stupid question, Kara."

"Indulge me."

"You know why I broke up with James."

Kara swallows visibly, face coloring slightly. She shakes her head, "Look, I'm worried about you. James is hurting and I know you are too. You're acting so rashly and—"

"Oh, get off your high horse, Kara."

"What? I only—"

Lena steps forward, lowering her voice, "If you can't be honest, then you shouldn't be here."

"I'm not lying! Why would I? I told you I would never lie to you again—"

"No, you're simply skirting the truth."

Kara breathes in, cheeks hollowing out, and her jaw sets, "I am worried—"

"Obviously. I mean it's been, what, two whole weeks since we spoke? Your concern is truly overwhelming."

"I wanted to give you space, Lena," Kara admits softly, unable to hold the Luthor's gaze fully. Lena almost laughs. Almost. Because space is the one thing she has never wanted from this woman. Until now. She could really use some now. Her eyes flick back to her desk where the holographic clock reads 11:45.

"Well, you've shown up. Asked questions. Your support is noted. Thank you," Lena smiles tightly and crosses her arms, heading for her desk. Kara follows her.

"I would have come sooner. James only told me today and—"

Some sharp, dark emotion swirls through Lena. "So you're only here because he asked you to come?"

"What?"

"That's rich," Lena shakes her head and her hands curl into fists to keep from trembling. Because she is angry, livid that it took James to spur any feeling from someone who claimed to be her best friend… But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. Lena forces herself to release the air trapped in her lungs and unclench her fists. "It doesn't matter," she echoes her own thoughts.

"Of course, it matters," Kara hisses, removing the distance between them. Her hand reaches out, but stalls a few inches short of Lena and then falls limply to her side. Kara's brows furrow, "You should talk to James. I think it would help—"

Lena does laugh now. And it's a sharp, bitter sound which escapes her as she pierces Kara with her unwavering gaze. "Who, Kara? Who would it help?" Lena knows she's being harsh. Her voice is cutting, cruel even. But her words are true and she has no desire to sugarcoat them anymore. "I've spent enough time catering to that man, enough time thinking that he might eventually see and appreciate me. But he never has. And somehow I had convinced myself that it was my problem, that I wasn't enough… but it was just the guilt talking. Guilt I felt because I knew I was in love with someone else." Lena looks pointedly at Kara, smiling a bitter, half-smile. "But I don't feel guilty anymore. Nor am I under the illusion that my relationship with James was good. Not all love is healthy after all… I should know that better than anyone."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm a Luthor, remember?"

Kara shakes her head as if she might protest, but what can she say? Lena is a Luthor and no amount of denying it will ever change that fact. Lena crosses her arms, wrapping her fingers around her biceps like a vice, gripping tighter so that the steady pulsing of her blood beneath her fingertips might ground her.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I—" The Super's voice is quiet and strained. Lena only stares at the wall behind her, at the solid white surface beyond those golden waves. "I don't know what to say. I don't know whether you need me to apologize or to— to just disappear. I wish… I wish I could give you what you want, but I don't know…" Lena's eyes drag back to Kara and whatever expression twists the Luthor's features causes the words to die on Kara's lips. Air hums between them, a tension which vibrates so steadily that it must surely snap. The Super's eyes widen, caught on Lena's face, and her gaze dips down briefly. For less than a heartbeat.

Then Kara begins to ramble again. Plaintively. Apologetic. Words which string together, devoid of breath or rhythm or logic, and shatter the taut air as easily as a blunt hammer shatters glass. There's a dull pounding ache in Lena's chest. And the look of regret on Kara's face adds weight to Lena's hollow stomach. Because she was hoping… maybe… even if she couldn't admit it…

The clock on the desk flickers, changing again, a silent countdown. 11:55. Fuck. She needs Kara to leave. Now.

"I think you should go," Lena stares at the desk, unable to watch whatever passes over Kara's features as she falls silent once more, muted by Lena's soft words. "I think you should leave."

"Lena, please, I—"

The Luthor gathers the rest of her strength and forces it towards the heaviness in her sternum, towards that dull ache. She braces herself even as she makes her face close down, makes her voice harden and her eyes narrow. "Kara, I am asking you to leave."

"I… Lena, I don't know how," the blonde whispers, eyes wide as she steps closer. Lena thinks there might be tears there. But then again, it could be the light. Kara's mouth quivers slightly and Lena shifts her gaze away, wishing she hadn't seen it. The Luthor takes a measured step back.

"Look Kara," Lena states coldly. "I've lost enough people in my life that I am fairly gifted at goodbyes. I've had plenty of practice. And I'll give you some advice. It gets easier. Trust me." Lena smiles and it is an expression made of steel—brittle, hard, incapable of reaching her eyes. But her voice becomes light, professional even, as she meets Kara wide gaze. "Goodbye, Ms. Danvers. I don't expect I'll see you anytime soon, but do make an appointment next time you feel like dropping in. This is an office after all. Best to keep things professional."

"Lena—"

12:00. "Kara, just go."

"Look—"

The door swings open and Eve walks through, her attitude as spritely as ever. Lena's assistant is followed closely by a rather tall, athletic woman with long strawberry-blonde hair. The woman wears a sleek pair of white slacks and a matching blazer. Her posture is relaxed, her hands tucked into deep pockets.

Eve's eyes dart back and forth between Kara and Lena before she clears her throat and says quickly, "Blake Wilson, Ms. Luthor."

"Thank you, Eve."

The tall arrival fixes Lena with bright, brown eyes and the Luthor forces herself to smile naturally. The introduction is unnecessary. Lena recognizes Blake immediately, though the woman is much taller than she appeared in her online profile. God, why had she thought this was a good idea?

"You weren't kidding when you wrote Fortune 500 on your profile," Blake smirks as she saunters into Lena's office. The Luthor coughs, heat rising to her cheeks.

"Did I write that?" Lena had stopped counting the glasses of Merlot by the time she'd decided it was a good idea to create a Tinder profile.

Blake's eyes slide past Lena to where Kara stands. The Luthor follows her gaze and finds the Super with a deep frown set across her face. A lump rises in Lena's throat and she finds it lodged there, nearly impossible to swallow. Blake cocks her head to the side with an easy smile.

"Am I early?"

Lena clears her throat, "No, not at all. You're right on time. We just… finished up. Good day, Ms. Danvers."

Kara's jaw sets. Her blue eyes fix on Lena for a moment—three long heartbeats—before she nods sharply and walks towards the door. The Luthor's stomach dips briefly as she registers that familiar, old disappointment. But relief soon eclipses that heavy emotion. It sweeps through Lena as the Super finally disappears from view. She breathes out, feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders.

"Are you ready?" Blake nods towards the door and Lena again tries her best to smile.

"Let me just grab my purse."

Five minutes later, they are walking down the curb towards The Lotus Garden which happens to be Blake's favorite Dim Sum restaurant. Lena doesn't tell her that there is a better place on the east side of town—one that serves particularly good pot stickers. Lena is hoping that Blake doesn't have an affinity for pot stickers.

She asks about Blake's work in finance and is able to talk numbers which makes the woman grin. Lena laughs when Blake tries to tell a biology joke but gets the punchline wrong. Blake just shrugs and says 'Well, at least I tried,' before winking at Lena. The conversation turns a little more personal once they've ordered. The food arrives in no time, but the direction of their conversation remains steady.

"Got any family in National City?"

Lena feels a familiar dread well up at the question. She swallows, "You haven't heard of the Luthors?"

"Should I have?" Blake looks apologetic. "I grew up in Chicago so I'm really new to the social strata here."

Lena waits, breath frozen. As if the woman might laugh and admit she is only joking. Of course, she's heard of the Luthors. Who hasn't right? But Blake just grins sheepishly and Lena allows a tentative smile to pull at her lips. She shakes her head, "I'm—I'm not close with any of my family—"

"Long story?"

"Something like that… And you? Are most of your family in the midwest?"

"Yeah, I have two brothers and a sister. They all still live in the windy city. I'm the 'nomad' of the family." Blake tries to pick up a soup dumpling and curses under her breath when it slips from her chopsticks for the third time. "I'm terrible with these things," the woman admits with a small laugh and then skewers the dim sum before bringing it to her mouth with significantly less broth than before.

Lena smiles and effortlessly picks up her own dumpling, chopsticks held delicately in her right hand. It's almost second nature after the years of rigorous etiquette which Lillian forced upon both Lena and Lex.

"Another perk of the Fortune 500?" Blake asks, nodding towards her.

"Yes, the proverbial silver spoon," Lena jokes, ignoring the blood rushing to her cheeks. "I feel like I should tell you that I was more than a little drunk when I wrote that."

"I figured," Blake smirks.

"I don't… do this very often."

"What, date?"

"Yes. That."

Blake laughs slightly at Lena's disgruntled tone, "Were you in a long-term relationship?"

"Relationship, yes," Lena tilts her head. "Long term, no."

"What was her name?"

"His name was James. And Jack before that."

"Ah," Blake sits back in her chair. "And have you—I hope you don't mind me asking, but… have you ever been in a relationship with a woman?"

Lena blushes, glancing down at the tablecloth. "Not technically."

"Sounds… complicated."

Lena clears her throat, "I've been told that 'complicated' is my middle name."

"Well, I've always liked a challenge."

Lena's raises her eyebrows and a smile lifts her lips in response to the wide grin which spreads across Blake's face. The woman is easy-going and laid-back in a way that Lena could never be. It's a nice change of pace and pretty quickly puts the Luthor at ease. Lena laughs more than she has in the past month and at moments feels lighter than she would have thought possible.

It's a nice date. Better than Lena could have anticipated from a drunken foray into online dating. The chemistry between them is easy and very apparent and yet… Blake's smile reminds Lena a little too much of a different blonde. More than once while Blake is speaking, the Luthor finds her mind drifting back to Kara Danvers, to Supergirl. Lena tells herself that it's just the proximity— that if Kara hadn't shown up this morning, Lena would not be having a problem. It's just the proximity.

This thought mollifies Lena somewhat and when Blake asks to see her again next week, the Luthor agrees. A week is what she needs. A week to wash away Kara's floral scent which still clings to her office, to force the memory of that bright smile to fade, to decrease their proximity.

As Lena settles back into the leather chair at LCorp, she determines to keep her Tinder profile active. At least for a few months. It will be good to put herself out there. Lena repeats this thought like a mantra. As if by saying it enough times the sentiment might actually become true. She'll treat each date like a clinical trial, like one of her Harenell hearts. Trial and error until she finds the cure.

Lena presses down the button for the intercom, "Eve?"

"Yes, Ms. Luthor?"

"You still have the blacklist, correct?"

There's a pause and then Eve's perky disembodied voice asks, "You mean the security list? All the names of people denied entrance to LCorp?"

"Yes, that one. Can you add a name for me?"

"Yes, let me just—" the sound of typing can be heard and then, "Got it! Fire away, Ms. Luthor."

Lena bites her lip, breathing in and then out. Her fingertips press against the desk's glossy, enamel surface until her cuticles turn white. She swallows twice.

"Lena?"

"Hmm?"

"The name?"

"Right," Lena blinks, clenching her icy fingers into fists. "Kara Danvers. I want you to add Kara Danvers to the blacklist."

"Kara Dan—" Eve squeaks out, then catches herself. "Are you sure, Ms. Luthor?"

"I'm quite sure, Eve."

Lena lets go of the intercom and leans back in her chair. She glances up at the white, nondescript ceiling of her office, eyes tracing the metal squares before falling down to her desk. The holographic clock ticks slowly to her left. She places a hand against her sternum and imagines she can feel her heart beat every few seconds. A slow, steady rhythm.

She manages two minutes like this. Two whole minutes. One hundred and twenty seconds before the agitation sets in and her mind begins to whirl faster and faster as if to spite the steady, slow passage of time. Lena pushes from her chair and snatches the voice recorder up with trembling fingers. She switches it on.

"Trial 179…"

A/N: I've had to pull back on writing a bit to focus on my health, but I am going to finish this story. Never fear! I have the rest mapped out in my head. Your comments give me life and help me to write so let me know what you think xx