We paused our activities for a minute and listened to see if there would be another knock. That's when we heard Whitley's voice just beyond the wooden door.
"Sarah? You okay in there?" Her voice sounded apprehensive.
"I'm fine," I didn't move from my spot under Raphael.
"Okay, I was just checking on you. Wasn't sure if I needed to get the tranq gun ready." I heard her laugh nervously from beyond the door.
I'm not going to lie, I was a little offended by that. "No, it's okay. You can go back to your room."
"Okay…night Sarah."
"Night Whit."
Neither Raphael or I moved until we heard her bedroom door close. When we heard the door shut, he slowly rose from my bed and looked away from me.
"This can't happen." His voice was soft, "I don't know how to control myself when I'm with you. I'm sorry but that's why I have been avoiding you."
I wasn't sure what to say, I wasn't expecting him to pull away from me or to admit to me that he has no self-control with me.
"I thought maybe you and Mona had broken up…" My voice lost volume and we sat in silence for a few moments.
"No, we're still together. I can't do this to her. I can't cheat on her." His voice was full of remorse.
"So why are you still with her? Why not just break up with her if I have such a strong hold on you?" Anger was welling in my chest.
"Because, Sarah. I don't want just half of somebody. I want all of somebody. That includes being loyal to only me. A committed relationship." Anger was evident in his voice. We were both getting heated.
"Maybe I want to give you all of me." I stated as I stood from the bed.
He paused and stared at me. The silence in the room was deafening. "You want to commit yourself to me? I thought you said you only felt "friend things" for me, nothing more."
"I was lying to myself! I didn't want to admit my feelings for you! It was more than just sexual, and I knew it the whole time!" I paused, my chest rising and falling with my labored breathing. I really needed to calm down.
He was silent. Like he wasn't sure of what to say after I spilled my heart out.
"I love you, Raphael." It felt so good to finally say those words.
I waited for him to reply or look me in the eyes, but he didn't. He simply stood there, silent.
"Please say something." I finally spoke after minutes of ear numbing silence.
He sighed, "You love me? But you couldn't admit that to yourself. Why? Because I'm a freak? Wasn't until you saw someone else lovin me that you wanted me." He was mad, but his voice was quiet. He was more hurt than anything.
"I'm sorry, Raph. I'm stupid. I'm just a stupid girl that has had her heart ripped out too many times to admit feelings for someone."
"Sure. If that's what you want to tell yourself." He huffed. "Coming here tonight was a mistake. I need to get back to the lair. Mona is going to be wondering where I am."
With that he turned and hopped out the window, never looking back at my tear streaked face.
What he said had stung but he was entirely right. I had only looked at him as a freak, as a guy I could never commit to because he wasn't human. It wasn't fair to him and as angry and sad as it made me, I completely understood where he was coming from. I hadn't been able to admit my feelings for him until he was with someone else.
"God, what the fuck is wrong with me?" I spoke to the empty room. I groaned loudly out of frustration and slammed my body down onto the bed. Tears were freely falling down my cheeks
Morning came too quickly, and it took every ounce of strength in my body to pull myself from my bed. I could hear sounds coming from the kitchen, so I headed in that direction. Whitley and Tori were both sitting at the island.
"Morning." Whitley spoke as I poured a cup of coffee and plopped myself down on a barstool.
"Morning." My voice came out in a rasp from crying all night.
The two girls didn't seem to notice and continued the conversation they were having before I came into the kitchen.
"So, tell me exactly how it happened." Whitley grabbed Tori's left hand.
"Well, he took me back to his room which was entirely lit by twinkle lights and candles. Our song was playing in the background and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him." Tears sparkled in Tori's eyes and I sat my coffee mug onto the marble top counter a little louder than I intended.
"Mikey proposed?" I exclaimed.
"He did!" She proudly waved her engagement ring in front of my face. It was a teardrop diamond that sat daintily atop a rose gold band.
"Oh, my gods, It's gorgeous." I grabbed her hand to get a better look at the glittering diamond.
"I was so surprised. I wasn't expecting him to pop the question for at least a year from now."
Tori wore the brightest smile I had ever seen. I could feel the happiness radiating from her.
"I'm so happy for you guys." I replied, and despite my sadness, I legitimately felt ecstatic for the two of them.
"So, when is the wedding?" Whitley asked as she pulled out a planner, seemingly out of nowhere, and got her pen ready.
"I'm not sure yet. Just write down summer." She replied with a laugh. Whitley jotted it down in her pink planner that read, I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday on the cover.
Whitley is probably the most organized person I've ever met. She's always making lists and tracking things down to the very second. I adored that part of her, she helped me to be more organized. Since being her roommate, I was hardly ever late for anything. She had even made me a chart for the phases of the moon, so I could know exactly what phase it was in on any given date. Today the phase was waxing gibbous, 72% illuminated. I loved knowing the phase right down to the percentage.
"I'm beyond happy that I can help you plan your wedding." Whitley basically squealed.
"Help me? You and Leo are still planning your wedding! You can't take on that much."
"I can, and I will. I really want to help! Maybe we can draw inspiration from one another." She replied as she took a sip of coffee.
I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy toward them. They both had a loving and wonderful relationship. While meanwhile I had not only just lost the love of my life, but my best friend at that. The two were chatting about wedding plans while I somewhat zoned out. Only partially listening as they both spoke. I was pulled from my quiet calm by the sound of Whitley's phone vibrating on the counter.
"It's Donatello. He says for us to get down to the lair and bring Sarah."
"What's going on?" I asked as she stood from her stool.
"He didn't say, maybe it has something to do with the curse?"
That was enough for me to know before I stood up and made my way for the door.
We entered the lair around fifteen minutes later. I was a bundle of nerves for several different reasons, for one Raphael is here with her and for two Donatello sent a cryptid message stating that I specifically come with Whitley.
Donnie was sitting in his lab, he was swirling something dark purple around in a vial. He regarded us from behind his glasses.
"Oh, good. You guys are here." He sat the vial back into its stand. "I have found something interesting in the different types of werewolf blood I've examined." He sat at little wooden vial holder in front of me that contained five different glass bottles. Each of them full of dark red to dark purple liquid.
"How did you get so many different types?" I questioned, my voice only coming out in a whisper.
"From the bodies left behind when the purple dragons shot them dead. The past few occurrences they haven't bothered to move the corpses."
"Oh." I barely replied.
"This vial is your blood." He pointed to one of the vials containing a dark red substance. "Each of the blood is different. I can't figure out why." He had a puzzled look on his face.
"So…where do you go from here?" I asked as Whitley placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"I'm not sure…but I can tell you I am not giving up. I'm going to figure out what can fix this." Donnie was so sure of himself and I truly believed that he would try his best to find a cure. Whether he was successful or not, I just felt grateful to have friends in my life that wanted to help me.
A few tears escaped my eyes and I was overwhelmed with the urge to hug the purple masked turtle. "Thank you, Donnie. You don't know what this means to me." My voice was wracked with sobs.
Donatello stiffened under my embrace and Whitley, sensing his discomfort, pulled me away from him.
"Okay there sniffles, lets get you in the living room." She laughed a little at the display and ushered me to the living room couch.
Much to my distaste, MonaLisa was sitting on the loveseat adjacent to the couch. She seemed very put off at the fact that we were sharing the same space.
'If only she knew how hard I made her boyfriend last night…' My thoughts rang evilly in my brain.
Instead she chose to completely ignore me and only said hello to Whitley and Tori.
Tori rushed over to her and practically shoved her hand in Mona's face. "Look at my ring!"
"Tori! It's gorgeous!" Mona yelled. "I had no idea Mikey proposed to you!"
"He did last night." Tori's beaming smile hadn't left her face since I had first seen her this morning.
"Congratulations." She stood up and hugged Tori tightly. "I hope someday Raphael puts a ring on my finger." She sighed dreamily.
I don't know what came over me but I absolutely could not keep myself from laughing at that. My laugh was so loud it seemed like it echoed through the room. I immediately regretted letting myself expose my jealousness. The last thing I wanted was for her to know how much she affected me.
"Is something funny?" She snapped at me. From the corner of my eye I could see Whitley shaking her head no. Practically begging me telepathically to drop the whole thing.
In the end I decided to shut up, for Whitley's sake. "Sorry, I was just clearing my throat." I finally replied.
She obviously didn't believe me but she didn't press the issue any further. Instead she sauntered away.
"I'm going to go slide into bed next to Raphael." Her tone was boastful.
Anger was surging through me and inside my mind I heard the wolf snarl. But my feelings were so stable for the moment. I didn't feel the wolf taking control, despite my apparent annoyance at the whole situation. It was a weird feeling to be completely in control of myself since contracting lycanthropy. It was strange but a part of me wondered if it was because of the two friends standing next to me, each of them placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. Their love for me made me feel like I could fight anything and overcome anything.
"It's okay, please don't let it get you down." Tori's voice rang through my heartbeat pulsing in my ears.
"Yeah, Sarah. It's not worth it. You're too good of a person to succumb to your beast." Whitley said as she pulled me into a hug.
"Thanks guys. I'm okay though. Just a little tired from all the enhanced emotions."
I sat down on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest.
"I told Raph I loved him last night." I said with a laugh. I couldn't believe I told him that. What did I actually think I would accomplish by saying that?
"And? What did he say?" Whitley asked as she sat down next to me.
"He turned me down. I can't blame him for the things he said, he made a lot of good points." I tried to look anywhere but their faces. Instead concentrating on the black tv screen next to me.
"I'm sorry." Tori spoke, Whit didn't seem to know what to say.
"So, there's no chance of you two getting back together?" Whitley inquired.
"I don't think so. He's really mad at me. I think it will be a long time before he actually wants to talk to me."
They were both silent. Tori simply patted my shoulder, neither one of them were sure of what to say.
I was back in my room in the apartment. All three of my roommates were staying the night underground. The apartment was entirely to myself. I used to love time to myself. But now it was exasperating. My thoughts were too much for me to bare alone, so once I was settled onto the couch, I turned on Netflix and tried my hardest to distract myself with tv shows.
It worked enough to settle me into an uneasy sleep. A slumber full of dreams plagued with tender kisses and soft touches from Raphael.