Thanks for reading!
Thanks for Honus47 for co-writing this with me. We're having a blast. Thanks to Stef and Donna for their support.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from TV - not mine; Ira and Migs courtesy of "Scattered" by Tess DiCorsi
I do believe in Ghosts - Part 5
Deeks pulled into the parking garage, turned off the engine and looked over to his wife. The ride home was quiet and now he knows why. Kensi had fallen asleep, something she rarely did in the car but the meeting in the boatshed had been exhausting for both of them. Deeks gently placed his right hand on her left thigh giving it a slight squeeze. "Sweetheart, we're home."
Kensi took a deep inhale and opened her eyes, slightly disoriented but relaxed when she looked to her left and saw deep blue eyes staring at her. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was so tired." Kensi started to lean towards her husband and was met halfway when his lips touched hers. She was relieved as the kiss deepened. Deeks had every right to be upset with her. Truth be told, she would have been furious if the roles were reversed. Yet, if the roles were reversed, Deeks would have insisted on the partners staying together. This was not the first time she decided a course of action on her own albeit it had been several years.
The first time was surrendering to the Russians.
"Give us the book!" demands one of the Russians. "We don't have it", answers Kensi. They ask for her purse and dumped its contents. "Told you." They order Kensi, "Get in the car"
Deeks immediately tells them, "Mm-mm, she's not going anywhere." The Russians insist, "Then four of us die and one of us lives." A standoff. Deeks finally says, "He's got a point. All right take me." Kensi's head snapped to her left, "Deeks!"
"She's just a cop. She's not even an agent. Tell you the truth, no one really likes her that much. Too pretty for her own good. Kind of a snob." Hetty listened as Deeks desperately tried to protect his partner. She found his wording very curious. Is that how he felt? Kensi also heard his words. She was angry that he was offering himself but also regret when she realized he was describing himself. She knew Sam had been rough on him but hadn't realized that it was bothering him that much. The Russians were getting impatient, Kensi was ordered into the car.
"Kensi, DON'T MOVE!". He did not want to sound desperate but he was afraid he was failing.
"Nice try Deeks"
"Kensi?"
Kensi put her pistol on the passenger seat and moved forward. "It's ok, you'll get me back."
Deeks was told they would exchange Kensi's life for the book and then shot out the front tire of the car to prevent him from following them. "Oh yeah? How do you know that I'm not the superior? I could be!" "Kensi? DAMMIT!" Deeks watched helplessly as they drove away. Callen and Sam pulled up. "They got Kensi." All he could do was stare after the car, feeling a helpless anger rising inside of him.
They had only been partners a short time. They both felt the attraction but trusting each other was something they both had issues with, Kensi more so. She remembered how upset Deeks was, and rightly so, with her.
Kensi kept looking over to her partner but all she saw was the back of his head as he stared out the window. She had never seen him so quiet and contemplative. "Penny for your thoughts?" Nothing. "Deeks! Where are you?" Still nothing. Kensi poked his arm, finally he stirred.
"What?" was his surprisingly terse response.
"You have been staring out the window the entire ride, and we are at your place. What is going on? Are you sure you are feeling alright? Should I take you to the hospital to have your head examined?" Kensi barked a laugh at that, pretty proud of her little joke. What she hadn't expected was his reaction.
"You think this is funny? You could have been killed! I could have been killed! I thought they were going to shoot me instead of the tire! Why would you purposely put yourself in harm's way? Sam and Callen were moments away! You heard them! What the hell possessed you to go with them, Kensi?" By now Deeks was yelling.
Kensi sat there stunned into silence. In disbelief she stared at him. She had done what she thought was right for the mission. She also protected her partner. She knew he would come for her and he did and he got them out of that room. And for all intents and purposes they were ok.
"I thought we meant something to each other?" she heard her partner say. His tone broke her heart and her mind was blank, she could only look at him. Deeks sighed, grabbed his stuff and got out of the car slamming the door behind him. Kensi just watched.
Deeks was right then and he's right now. They don't know what they're walking into and as much as they trusted Ira and Migs, what her partner was thinking mattered most. Kensi leaned forward over the console, placing her hands on each side of Deeks' face and kissed him again, hard. She was grateful he returned in kind and as they came up for air, their foreheads touched.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
The partners silently got out of the car and went inside. They set about their normal routine. Kensi would take Monty for a walk while Deeks grabbed a quick shower and then started dinner. As he took ingredients out of the fridge, he started to rehash what had and what was about to happen. He was brought out of his thoughts by a very excited Monty dancing at his feet. "Hey Buddy, have a nice walk?" Deeks looked up at his wife who smiled and nodded towards their bedroom letting him know she was going to grab her shower. Normally he would make some inappropriate comment about joining her but they needed to talk first so he just nodded back. He fixed Monty's dinner and then went back to preparing theirs. He could feel Kensi's disappointment when no comment came, but they made a promise to be truthful with each other and this was too important to push aside.
When Kensi rejoined Deeks, dinner was just about finished. A glass of wine was poured and waiting for her at her spot on the table. Her husband was drinking his while he cooked. To an outsider, they were just a normal couple doing normal things. They were anything but. Kensi approached her husband. She put her hand on his back, gently rubbing circles. Deeks paused as he was stirring, turned and looked at her. Kensi sighed. "Kobayashi Maru"
Deeks also sighed. "Us or the mission?"
"Both?" She knew they needed to talk. She knew they loved each other. Of that she had no doubt. But she knew she painted them into a corner and it would be up to her to get them out of it. For so long Deeks was the one who took the first step. He knew how stubborn his wife could be. But Kensi saw a change. He for once was digging in, rightly so. Time to hold up her end of the marriage contract.
"I know what you're thinking."
Deeks slammed the spoon down on the stove which made Kensi jump. "If you know what I'm thinking, why then, would you blindly agree to go on a mission that we don't have all the intel for! If you know me so well, why would you agree to go without me? Please, Kensi, enlighten me because I'm still trying to understand what the hell happened today!" He picked up the spoon and continued stirring grateful for the distraction.
Okay, that was not quite the reaction she was expecting. "You're right. I should not have agreed so quickly to go. But I need you to try and see my side of this. I think Jack is being set up. The man I knew would NEVER do what they're saying he did. Let me tell you about the Jack I knew before you say anything not just the bits and pieces I've told you over the years." Kensi approached Deeks. She cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her and nodded for her to continue.
"When I met Jack, I was a junior in college. We were both at a holiday party. I was talking with Kat but didn't hear a word she was saying when he walked in. Even though he was in casual clothes, I knew he was military by how he carried himself. He was talking to Mindy. The way she was flirting with him, I knew we were probably going to throw down over him. I was smitten." Kensi hoped by using that word, she could get her husband's attention.
Deeks didn't let her down. "Yeah but were you stuck and smitten?" She saw his shy smile as he kept to his task.
"No love, you were the only one to affect me like that." Kensi smiled and continued. "I walked over to them, told Mindy that Kat was looking for her, needing her help. She couldn't say no and Mindy may have shot me the "I know what you're doing and we will deal with his later glare" but left me alone with Jack. We hit it off. Eventually we drifted outside and talked about anything and everything. That led to meeting for coffees and lunches and six months later we were moving in together."
"Where was he stationed?" Deeks was working hard internally to keep his emotions even. No guy wants to hear the details of his wife's first love but he had been dealing with random guys hitting on her for years and an old flame should not be bothering him. And maybe if there wasn't the prospect of a dangerous mission on the horizon associated with an old flame, it wouldn't bother him, but this was anything but normal.
"Pendleton. But I never knew what his job was. He said he couldn't tell me and I knew enough from my Dad not to press."
That gave Deeks pause. He needs Nell to dig into Jack's military jacket to see when he started his black ops work. "Kens, is it possible that Jack may have been spying since he joined?"
"NO! He always spoke of his love of country and how his assignment made him proud to be a marine." Kensi still could not understand how could Deeks doubt him. He didn't know Jack and trust what she's telling him.
"Kens, it's been a lot of years. You said yourself during the Talbot case that he wasn't the same man."
"I know him! He wouldn't betray his country!" Kensi grabbed her glass of wine and went out on the balcony. Deeks looked to the heavens, hoping for intervention of any kind. This is not how he wanted this converstation to go but he had to know where her head was at.
"Kens, dinner's ready." A sullen wife came back in, took her seat and started to eat. Deeks tried to engage her in conversation not related to the case. Nothing. Not even eye contact. Normally he would let her have her sulk time but she was going to be leaving soon and there was no way in hell he was going to let her leave angry with him. He felt justified wanting to know more about Jack and what her thoughts were about this mission.
Finally Kensi broke the silence. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do." That may have come out with a tad indignance in his voice but he did trust her. "This isn't about trust. It's about Jack. Him, I don't trust and I'm afraid he's playing you. So excuse me for wanting to protect my partner. I'm not about to let you go halfway around the world to meet up with a guy you haven't seen in almost a decade. And if that makes me a Neanderthal then so be it. I'm your husband and I worry."
Kensi got out of her chair, went over to her husband and sat on his lap. Deeks looked into her face and tried to figure out what he saw. There was love and….. His thoughts were interrupted by his wife leaning in to kiss him.
"Remember what I told you in my mom's garage when I was chasing my dad's killer? I told you that you were the only one that I trusted. I want you to remember that. I trust YOU."
Deeks placed his hands on her face. "I remember. And you need to remember that I am the ONLY one you can trust. Not Migs, not Ira, and ESPECIALLY not Hetty! They may be dear friends but they are not us. We draw our strength from each other and I won't be alongside of you. But I WILL be there in your heart. Even if you don't see me, I'll be there. Remember that! Be an agent! NOT a scorned ex-fiancée! Think before you act."
Hearing her husband's words gripped her heart in a love she never thought was possible with anyone and she realized that he's all hers. He's ALWAYS watching out for her. Kensi snuggled closer to Deeks as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.
"One more request?"
"What?"
"I want to spray you with Overwatch. That way Nell can keep tabs on you. And I don't mean that in a creepy way. But if something goes sideways, I want to be able to find you, quickly. I don't trust this guy. Please Princess do that for me?"
Kensi looked at her husband and contemplated the request. It wasn't made out of distrust of her but it was his way of having her back. She knew how hard sending her off was going to be on him. "Agreed. But no one but you, me and Nell know about it. I don't want to chance Jack finding out."
"That's the super federal agent I married!" Deeks pulled her close and sealed the deal with a kiss. He actually started to feel confident that they just might pull this off.
- TBC -