Chapter Twenty-Eight: A Welcome Return
The next few days blend together. I work with the mages, and I'm happy to see a few of them improving their skills already. After that, I meet with Cullen to play chess, and a couple of times I watch as he instructs the soldiers in their training. Sometimes I see Solas and Cassandra in passing. Dorian has not returned yet, nor has Tenebris. Evenings are often spent at the Herald's Rest over a drink or two and a story.
Today, though, things are a bit different. With any luck, Varric and the others should be coming home today. I take a little extra time on my appearance. I choose a dress today instead of armor. It's pale yellow, with a square neckline and flowing hem. It's not exactly what would be considered high fashion, even for the Frostbacks, but it's a serviceable dress, and I like it. The long tight sleeves have a tiny flare at the end. I leave my hair loose and flowing, but add a jeweled comb in the shape of a flower, pulling the hair back a little on one side. I glance at myself in the mirror, and it realize I look really feminine today. Not wearing trousers feels strange, but I hope Varric likes it.
The day starts much like any other. I go to breakfast and hurry through eating in order to avoid spending much time with Vivienne. Josephine is there, and calls my dress "cute", which I interpret as "quaint and unfashionable". I look at the numerous frills on her outfit and I'm not surprised she doesn't approve. But, again, I like it. That's really what matters.
After breakfast, I go to the stone platform area where I had first shown my magical talents to Fiona. I've been tutoring some of the mages who were struggling the most. I spend a couple of hours helping them remember their form, and to have the right mindset for each spell. All spells require concentration; but some work better with a little anger or passion to fuel them, and some work better with a calm, stoic mind. Keeping the right focus for the spell, and especially switching back and forth between them can be difficult. My pupils seem to be showing promise, however.
I find myself returning over and over to the front of the keep, looking for signs of Declan's party. So far, there has been no word, and they haven't been spotted yet. Still, my attention automatically goes back to waiting for them.
After lunch I meet Cullen in the garden. His eyebrows raise upon seeing my choice of dress today. "You look different," he remarks.
"Yeah, well, I just wanted something different today."
"It looks good," he says, turning away. Is he blushing?
"I think I've gotten better at chess, though, Cullen. I bet today's the day I win."
"You're on," he says, and sets up the board.
We're about halfway through our game, which I happen to be winning, or at least I think I am, when I suddenly realize we're not alone. I look up to see Alistair walking in the garden. They're back! I quickly stand up, startling Cullen.
"Alistair!" I call, and walk over to where he is standing. Cullen follows. "I'm happy to see you made it back. Did the others arrive at the same time as you?"
"Yes, Varric is...wait, he's not there anymore. Odd, he was just with me."
"Sorry Cullen, I have to go."
"Guess this means our chess matches are over now that the Inquisitor is back. I'm sure he'll have better things for you to do."
"I'm onto you, Commander. You just want to stop because I was winning. Not a chance, we'll find time again," I comment, and rush out of the garden.
Entering the main hall, I don't see him, but Declan and Hawke are there.
"Where is he?" I blurt out.
Declan looks confused, but Garrett just laughs. "Last time I saw him, he was headed upstairs. I'd say he was probably going to his quarters."
"Thanks, Garrett," I reply with a grin before running across to the far door.
Behind me I hear Declan ask, "What was that about?"
"My guess is a certain lucky dwarf is about to get a very warm welcome."
Solas is startled as I pass his room, but I don't have time to stop and chat today. Up the stairs I go, avoiding the library, and I find the long hallway. Taking the side branch that I know leads to Varric's room, I see him. He's reaching his hand to open the door when he notices me.
He stops, turning to look at me, and I sprint toward him. Confusion crosses his features, but he drops his belongings and takes a step toward me just in time to catch me as I launch myself into his arms.
"Well hello to you, too, Firefly," he comments.
"I'm sorry I was being an idiot and didn't listen to you," I mutter, wrapping my arms around him. "I missed you."
"Ferox…" One of Varric's hands finds the small of my back and the other reaches up to touch my face. "You're a such a breath of fresh air after the shit I've just seen." Our lips seek each other's automatically. I can tell he hasn't shaved, and the stubble is scratchy, but I don't care, and I kiss him back for all I'm worth.
"My Firefly," he murmurs after the kiss ends, both of us breathing a little heavy.
"I like the sound of that."
"Maker, you smell good," he sighs, holding me close.
"I thought we agreed to leave him out of this," I laugh. "And anyway, you don't. Smell good, that is."
"Shit, you're probably right. I've been on the road for days." He loosens his hold, but I'm not about to let him do that.
"I don't care," I declare, and kiss him again.
When we again pull apart, I can see his eyes have the same passion as mine probably do. "So you believe me now?" he asks.
"Yes. I was really hurt when I thought you had lied about her, and I have this thing I do where I shut off my emotions. I probably shouldn't have done that."
"Yeah, Hawke filled me in. I...guess I have a confession to make too."
"What's that?"
"I saw you and Curly in the garden just now, and you looked really happy. I guess I got jealous. I thought maybe you had moved on," he sighs.
"It's only ever been you, Varric," I admit, and he huffs a sigh of relief.
"And what about your brother? He wasn't too keen on me the last time I saw him."
"Tenebris just wants what's best for me, but he's agreed not to interfere. Anyway, he's not due back from Kirkwall yet."
"So there's nothing in the way anymore."
"Just too much clothing," I tease, pulling at his armored jacket, and I'm rewarded with a surprised chuckle.
"You little minx," he says, stroking my hair. "Sadly, Declan's expecting me to report to his advisors in a few minutes, and if I don't show up, they'll come looking for me. I really should clean up, too. I think my dirt is gathering dirt at this point."
"Guess I'll see you at dinner then."
"Yeah." He sighs, "The handsome dwarf reluctantly let go of his prize, knowing that it would be that much sweeter for the waiting."
"Was that a line from one of your books?"
"Nope, the story of us."
I grin. "I like it. Get to work, handsome, I'll see you later." I kiss his cheek and walk back down the hallway. When I turn at the corner, he's still watching me, a smile on his face. Until later.
The rest of the day seems to take forever, now that I know he's here. I try walking, but that doesn't help. I don't really want to have to talk about Varric with anyone yet, so I avoid the tavern, and instead choose to just go back to my room.
I try contacting Etiam again, but he still doesn't answer. What is going on? I worry that it has something to do with Lucis. Surely he knows that Tenebris and I have left now. Perhaps they are watching the human world together. I've shielded my presence since I first arrived to avoid detection in the Watcher's Well. I assume Fen'Harel is doing the same, as he hadn't shown up in the Well while I had been watching and I hadn't known he was here until I saw him.
Finally, it's time for dinner. I check my appearance again, remember to take my herbs, thinking to myself that I'm probably not returning here until tomorrow. I smile, thinking about spending the night with Varric. I notice my cheeks are a bit pink, but I bet it will only get worse throughout the evening, so I don't attempt to cover it with cosmetics.
I wait for a while longer. The less time I have to spend with some of the people Declan invites to dinner, the better. I just hope I can still sit next to Varric when I get there. I walk into the main hall and see several welcome faces, in addition to the one I most wanted to see, of course. Declan, Hawke, Alistair, Cassandra and Dorian are already seated. Dorian must have returned home this afternoon as well. I'm very happy to see him. I head to the empty seat, in between Varric and Dorian. Exactly where I'd choose to be.
"Ferox, my dear, you look radiant this evening," Dorian says, pulling out my chair for me.
"Hey Tevinter, I've missed you around here. Cullen said you were on a mission, but wouldn't tell me any of the details."
"Oh, so it's Cullen now?" he asks in a teasing tone.
"Don't read too much into it. He's just a friend. Now about your mission?"
"Er, yes. It was about the Venatori. They were unearthing artifacts in the Hissing Wastes, most of them dwarven, but some of were from ancient Tevinter. I was sent out to help accompany the shipment back, and try to make heads or tails of what they found. I did find something most interesting, through."
"Oh, what's that?"
"A reference to you, of all things," Dorian states and I about spit out the drink of water I had just taken. Hawke shoots me a look, and I can tell Varric is trying hard to control his expression.
"Oh really?" I ask.
"Well, not really. A Ferox, yes, but one from a long time ago. We found tablets and ancient manuscripts, preserved underground for hundreds of years. It's quite blasphemous, of course, the idea that there were other gods. It is little wonder that other texts do not mention her - no doubt they were destroyed long ago. They called her "Ferox the Destroyer". Your family must have had a sick sense of humor, naming you after an ancient Tevinter goddess of destruction."
I say nothing, just smile in what I hope is an enigmatic way.
"I have not heard this story," Cassandra states. "Varric, have you?"
"A little," he mutters.
"There was an ancient Tevinter goddess named Ferox? I'll admit, I'm intrigued," Declan comments.
"As am I," Alistair adds, looking at me strangely. "What did the artifacts have to say about her?" he asks.
"I haven't translated all of it yet, but they said she was the twin of another god known as the Creator. That's probably where your parents got the idea for the name, Ferox. You're a twin, yes? It said she was wild in spirit and often capricious, given to changing her mood at the least provocation. According to the book, she was so tied to the elements that when the Destroyer's mood was pleasant, the weather was mild, but when she was angered, she could level a town with hurricanes, or bury them under snow. So the people brought her gifts to keep her appeased."
"Did it speak of the other gods?" I ask.
"I haven't translated that far. When I saw the name Ferox, I looked into that portion first."
"Ah," is all I say.
"Did I say something wrong?" Dorian asks, suddenly concerned.
"No, I'm fine."
Something touches my leg under the table. It's Varric's hand. I want to look over, but resist the urge. I don't move his hand, allowing it to stay. It's clear he's trying to give me comfort, but it's also a bit...distracting. Then he starts tracing slow circles on the outside of my thigh with his thumb. No, I take it back, the dwarf knows exactly what he's doing. But, I have to admit, it's helping. It's hard to stay upset with what he's doing. I flash a small smile at him to let him know it's working before turning back to Dorian.
"I'm glad you made it back safely," I tell Dorian.
"Are you feeling well?" Declan asks. "Your face looks a little flushed."
It's Varric's turn to nearly choke, and he pulls his hand back. I miss the warmth already, but I do my best to keep my disappointment from showing.
Cassandra makes a disgusted noise and shakes her head.
"What?" Declan asks her.
"Please tell me you're not that blind, Inquisitor," she replies.
"No, it's just fun to tease them."
What? I look at him and he's grinning at Varric and I.
"I've known the two of you for a while now, and you aren't as subtle as you think you are," he says, chuckling. "I'm happy for you both. It's about time we had some good news around here."
"Oh, good news! Yes, I have good news. Varric, you're going to be happy to hear this," I preface, looking at him. "I heard from Tenebris, and it sounds like Bartrand is getting a little better with the treatments my brother devised. He's hopeful that he will continue to improve."
Varric grabs my hand and squeezes it, apparently no longer interested in hiding our contact.
"That is good news, indeed," Garrett adds. "If the effects of red lyrium can be counteracted, even a little, it's more hope than what he had to offer the infected before."
"Unfortunately, he hasn't found a way to stop it growing yet," I report. "He'll be returning from Kirkwall soon."
The conversation dies down after that. A moment passes, and Declan yawns. "Wow, look at the time," he says. "I think it would be best to retire early. We've all had a long day." Thanks, Declan.
"Meet me upstairs in a few," Varric whispers as he stands up. To the rest of the table, he announces, "I think I'm going to turn in, too."
The group disbands. I make as though I'm going to go to my room, but stop in the garden for a moment and I look up at the sky. The heavens are painted in brushstrokes of orange and gold. It's magnificent; a perfect sunset.
After that, I make my way back inside to the long hallway, and knock on Varric's door.