As she searched out the mansion, Seras caught Walter bringing tea to Integra.
"Have you seen Alucard?"
"No, I haven't. But you can always ask Lady Integra. She shouldn't be all that busy, it's nearly time for her to take a break," he answered.
She retrieved the tray from his hands and smiled, "Good idea. I'll bring her tea at the same time. Take a break yourself, old man."
She left quickly, ignoring his protests, and took the stairs two at a time. The tray was held expertly in balance with one hand underneath it, not one drop of hot liquid spilled or a grain of sugar floated out of the pot.
Knocking twice, Seras penetrated the illuminated study after hearing Integra's acknowledgement. The light forced the night-dweller to squint her eyes at the huge bay windows to try and find her way towards the shadowy figure of her boss. She noted absently the cloudy sky that foreshadowed rain for this frisky autumn day. Winter was slowly getting cozy in between rainy days and snowy days. Walter had even left a blanket for Integra to use.
She carefully deposited the tray on a free space of the desk, poured a cup of tea and set it in front of Integra who was too busy scribbling furiously on a report to look up.
The stern woman sighed and laid her pen down with relief, "Thanks, Walter. I needed a break."
"No problem."
Not expecting a female voice, she looked up at Seras and nodded in greetings, "Victoria."
She silently gestured to Seras to help herself to some tea, which she did, with the additional mug originally meant for Walter. Taking a tentative sip to make sure she wouldn't burn her tongue, a warm feeling crawled down her throat to her stomach and it left her content for no reason at all. She even took note, although subconsciously, of the warmth emanating from her cup starting at her fingers and sending sparks of fire throughout her now shivering arm.
Seras realized she had forgotten how good warmth felt when you were alive. She stared down at the carpet, saddened at the thought that she wasn't technically alive. But she sucked it in and deposited her mug on the tray, away from her, away from her depressive thoughts. She was determined not to be brought down today.
"How's the eye?"
Seras' head lifted and she noticed Integra wasn't even looking at her. The blonde just lit herself a cigar and blew the smoke towards the ceiling, relaxing with her eyes closed.
"It's fine, I guess. The itching has lessened and I think I feel it move from time to time."
Integra simply nodded and silence settled. Time slowed down, a change of pace that was very much appreciated by the both of them instead of the usually quick and stressful missions. Only this peaceful and quiet moment.
"Hmm, that's nice…" Seras mumbled gently.
"What is?" asked her boss, her voice equally, if not abnormally, gentle.
The former police officer gestured towards nothing in particular, "This."
Integra rose a delicate eyebrow, "Do you mean the silence due to Alucard's absence? Yes, you're right. It's simply refreshing…"
"No, no," she chuckled lightly, "Just this particular moment. Us, sharing tea. It's a rare event."
"Indeed."
Seras was rewarded with a tiny smile to which she happily beamed at. Integra merely sipped at her tea and lapsed into silence once again.
"Tell me," started Integra, "have you finally considered leaving Hellsing's combat unit?"
Startled from her thoughts, Seras immediately sputtered the first thing that came, "A-actually, no. I haven't-"
The short haired woman stopped herself.
Really? Had she really thought about it? Did she want to be reduced to desk work and waste her nights doing paperwork? To remain in the same room where she would have no interaction with people, although her social life was already limited to just a few acquaintances, all the while developing a nice cramp in her hand caused by relentless scribbling? Would she like to see the same study, to smell the same chemical odor of ink surrounding her all night long, and get her ass numb by sitting on an uncomfortable chair for hours on end?
The more Seras thought about it, the less she wanted to quit the combat unit. What could an ugly, brown indoor bureau offer to her compared to an exciting, adrenaline pumping, and refreshing outdoor mission? She didn't want to rot like a decrepit ghoul inside the mansion! She was young and vibrant, she needed to move around for the sake of her sanity! Besides, if she were absent during a mission who would protect the humans? Certainly not Alucard!
Nonetheless, it could offer her some advantages. Less stress, less deaths, and less guilt. She wouldn't feel so disgusted about herself because soldiers would die before her in a moment of weakness. Mistakes she often made, stupid ones at that, cost people their precious lives on the cruel, violent battlefield. If she were to choose a desk job, there would be no more hard choices between life and death. Well, there are difficult choices to make but not by her anymore and that in itself was a great relief.
Still, on the other hand, she would always feel that weight in the pit of her stomach. She was sure, certain even, that it would remain there; representing the disappointment of many people, the knowledge that she, Seras Victoria, a vampire born with the strength so many desired, that glorious strength bestowed upon her by Master Alucard, could have made a difference in the outcome of a fight. Her righteousness, no, her humanity prevented her from childishly blocking out her responsibilities. It told her to live her existence, not her unlife but her existence, to its fullest even though it was hard and painful. And no matter how dark it seemed, she could always pierce through its blackness to bring back some light into her life. She just had to persevere every step of the way and never, ever give up.
"Well?" Integra prodded quietly at the lack of a response.
When Seras looked back at Integra, she was sure her boss saw the crystal-clear resolution in her ruby eyes. They held clarity, a perceptiveness of truth they hadn't held for the longest time, instead of the clouded uncertainty and the acceptation of perpetual defeat or weakness. She had made her choice.
But, really, there was no choice to make. Escape reality and feel remorse forever, which in her case was truly forever, or suffer and be proud of herself. The former was unlikely to happen, she realized, when she thought about how Alucard might react. How disappointed and angry he would be of his only descendant. And not the mention the torture he would put her through to reconsider such a foolish act.
So, this wasn't much of a choice for Seras. It was simple, really.
"Wait, I lied. I did think about it, I just didn't know I had." This last sentence sounded illogical but it was true. She already knew the answer deep down herself. "I'd like to stay."
Integra, curious and perhaps not understanding her decision, asked the Hellsing agent, "But… why? Just not long ago you were practically bursting with aggressiveness and pain."
"True… but I hadn't realized how important protecting a person was to me. I also realized this was just an escape and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing I had disappointed so many people, especially Master," Seras smiled although it seemed a bit sad, "You know how he is after all…"
The older woman's eyes narrowed, "Is this because of Alucard? Because if that's the case, I can assure you he will not overrule the proposition I offered you."
"No! Of course not!" she exclaimed quickly, "This is my very own decision. I don't feel forced to remain in the combat unit. No one pushed me to and I want to stay there."
Downing the rest of her mug's content and putting it back on the tray, Integra resumed her favorite posture to think and remained silent until, "Fine. I'm counting on you, agent Victoria."
Seras, all too happy, jumped to her feet and saluted her employer sharply, "Yes, sir!"
She thought perhaps they had reached a new level of understanding. Maybe not friendship, maybe not just work-related acquaintances, but something in between. Integra wasn't just a cold and cynical businesswoman. These were just necessary traits to handle difficult situations in her line of business. She knew the importance of group moral and placed her trust well. Deep down the strong leader persona, Integra was an understanding woman who knew what was good or bad for her troops. She was truly fit to become the fearless leader of the Hellsing Organization.
"At ease, Seras. Now, was there something you needed? I assume you came to my office for a reason."
"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed as she sat back down, "I wanted to ask you where Master Alucard was. I know he said something about leaving for a mission but he's surely back by now."
"No, I sent him to Kingston so he could exterminate a troublesome infestation last night. He should be coming back tonight though."
"Oh…" she sighed, "Okay, then. Guess I'll talk to him later. Thank you, Integra."
She simply nodded.
As she stood up, Seras' insides clenched angrily in hunger without warning. She bit back a moan and placed a hand on her protesting belly. Impossible, she had fed just two hours ago. How can she be hungry again? Her tongue traced the contours of her lips on its own volition, desperately searching for blood.
The famished vampire took a deep breath and was convinced something smelled of fresh blood nearby. She raised her head, guided by her nose, and noticed Integra. Or more precisely, her throat. She could see the blue-green pulsing vein underneath all that creamy, soft, and delicious white skin. Her irises shrunk and her canines grew longer and sharper.
Just one bite… That's all I ask for… just a taste…
"Victoria? Are you feeling well?" Integra asked warily.
"S-stay away! I think someone's messing with my mind and I don't know what might happen if you get any closer…" Seras' voice snapped although her face continued to stare at Integra like food.
How foolish of her! She should have been more careful! Master had said so. This happened once before and she wouldn't let it overtake her again. Seras tried to pull free from this mind hold but its grasp on her was too strong. Concentrating further on the invisible entity, she shoved thoughts and memories aside as it fled further in her consciousness. She finally lost herself, overwhelmed by her own emotions, and stopped searching because she feared her body would act without her consent. The smell of blood was getting stronger and the idea of tasting it became more than tempting.
Integra, on the other hand, wasn't taking any chances. She withdrew her gun from a secured drawer and pointed it at Seras who was busy trying to calm down her senses. She moved towards the phone to call on Walter for help and make a parameter checkup in order to find the intruder, her eyes trained on the police girl.
It took all of Seras' willpower to resist the whispered temptations her brain was receiving. And the sound of blood pumping in Integra's heart. She felt her head buzz with sleepiness and it tried to weaken her rebellious refusal to drink but she shook it off, resisting her primal needs.
Unexpectedly, the hold on her mind was brutally released and Seras clutched her throbbing head. She knew something was wrong when she was freed from the mind control and, precisely at that moment, she looked up at Integra just in time to see two hooks attached to ropes flying towards the bay windows and, unmistakably, for Integra.
"Watch out!"
She jumped over the desk and shoved unceremoniously Integra on the ground. She was about to duck herself and protect her with her own body but just as got on her knees, the windows broke into a million shards and sent them hurtling in the air, cutting skin and flesh. The warmth inside the room escaped through the hole and was replaced by stinging coldness. The two grapples sunk deeply in her left shoulder and in her right hip and pulled her back. For a fleeting moment, Seras and Integra looked at each other with wide eyes in realization of the situation, one in fright and the other in anger.
The grapples were forcefully pulling Seras back towards the windows, lifting her in the air. She screamed in pain as she caught onto the frame and crashed into glass that had yet to fall. She could hear the structure groaning as she clutched for dear life. The pulling became unbearable and her face scrunched up in concentration.
"Walter!" Seras screamed hoarsely, "WALTER!"
He busted through the double doors, out of breath and with his special gloves at the ready.
"Miss Victoria!" he exclaimed, "What's…"
She cut him off, "Take care of Integra," she gritted her teeth at a particularly hard tug. Her flesh was starting to tear itself apart.
It dawned on Seras that something had to be done in order to protect her leader. She had a pretty good idea who it was outside and what he wanted. She was determined to foil his plans.
How silly she was.
Thinking she could save the day. Only Alucard seemed to be able to do so, although his methods left much to be desired, he did the job accordingly. She was scared witless and felt like crying pathetically. She wanted to hide behind her Master's red coat like a child and feel his disapproval but also his vampiric aura that made her feel so secure. She wanted to snuggle up to him and be held in his arms.
But she somehow knew that this was it. She would be forced to leave.
She really wished she could stay at the mansion.
She really wished she could have had that kiss.
Some tears gathered at the corner of her eyes and she added, "A-And tell him –tell Master Alucard– that I'm s-"
Before Seras could finish, a third grapple rose into the sky and embedded itself in her stomach, making her choke and cough up a small amount of blood. Her grip loosened and her fingers slipped. She was finally jerked out of the room and felt as though she was flying. Her hand slowly stretched out before her in a desperate movement, a silent plea for help. She wanted to cry out in pain, in sadness, in denial, in resignation, but found she could not. Her voice refused to work and her tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks. She thought she heard Integra calling out to Alucard, screaming his name repeatedly. It was useless, he wasn't going to come back in time.
The impression that she was flying was suddenly broken when she fell through the nearby trees outside the boundaries of the mansion. The crispy leaves slapped and slashed mercilessly at her face. Hitting every branch possible, Seras ultimately crashed onto the cold, hard ground and she wheezed out the air that was knocked out of her.
She laid there on her back, looking at the white sky. She thought she saw something descending upon her, ever so slowly. Confused, she feebly reached out to catch it but it evaded her grasp and finally landed on her cheek. It was cold and after a while it turned into liquid and ran down the salty stream of her tears. More came, one after another, until it was a never-ending rain.
It was… snowing.
An early first snow, in London.
"Boo!" someone yelled in her face.
The magic dissipated and Seras jumped to her feet. Blake, unsurprisingly, stood in front of her in all his silvery glory. His light hair was held in a high ponytail today and his Armani-styled suit was strikingly white. His face etched a large smile with high cheekbones that hollowed his cheeks. His nose was thin and long which gave the impression that his face was longer than most people. As for his eyes, their color made his complexion look even paler and they were mixed with glee and satisfaction.
She felt ire rise within her and an uncontrollable anger made her growl.
"Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked too jovially.
"Am I?" she replied quizzically.
Seras threw herself at him and, with aggressiveness she didn't know she possessed, she tore through his abdomen with a single arm. She enjoyed his sudden fear and the way he clutched and clawed at her forearm. Grinning from ear to ear, the angered vampress twisted her hand around in his guts until she found his spine. She would make him pay for everything he has ever done to her and the future abuse she knows she will sustain. Just as she was about to crush his backbone to hear the satisfying crack, she was suddenly tugged away from him and the ropes of the hooks still buried in her flesh wound themselves around her until she was completely tied up.
Blake collapsed to the ground and the Asian girl from before was between the two with the ropes in her hands. She looked exactly the same as the last she had seen her except she didn't have her sais.
"Junko," Blake rasped.
"I suggest you stay away from my Master," the teenager mentioned as emotionlessly as always.
"Leave Sir Integra alone!"
Blake smirked despite his injury, "What will you give me in exchange? I'm warning you now, I'll accept nothing except for you to join me."
She closed her eyes in defeat as he said this. That's what she thought. He wanted her. And she would have to leave to ensure Integra's safety for now. Had Alucard been there, things would have turned out differently.
It's not fair…
"On one condition."
Junko quickly said, "Preposterous. You are in no condition to make demands."
"Let her speak," the wounded man interrupted.
"You are to never come back to these grounds and stay away from Hellsing's area of operation. That is all I ask and I shall come willingly."
His posture straightened a little and his face twisted into an awful expression of success. This is what he wanted to hear.
"Agreed."
Junko then proceeded to removed most of the ropes around her but kept her hands tied up. Following the smallest vampire she had ever seen, she spared a glance to Blake and was surprised to find another person aiding him to get up and supporting his weight. He was taller than Blake and looked a little bit ragged if it wasn't for his unshaven dark blond beard and his disheveled, mid-length, blond hair. His thick eyebrows camouflaged his faded red eyes and his nose seemed truly fit for a man of his stature, large and pointy but not too much. His lips were thin and clearly defined with a cigarette dangling dangerously low. His complexion was far darker than theirs even if it somehow seemed lighter than it should be. This stranger wore a worn-out, brown trench coat, a black muscle shirt, loose jeans, a pair of black running shoes, and to top it all a black cowboy hat which seemed to have seen a fair share of action.
She vaguely wondered if he came from overseas or, more precisely, from America. After all, he was pretty tall, had a tan and his hair was a remarkably light shade of blond. She would bet he even had blue eyes before his turning.
He probably felt scrutinized under her gaze because he looked up at her and when he met her eyes, he glared at her with pure hatred. Startled at the intensity that lay in those orbs, Seras could only blink at his reaction and couldn't fathom the reason behind such grudge towards her. He disregarded her after a few seconds and adjusted his hold on Blake.
A tug from Junko's rope made Seras walk again.
"Let us go before they reach us," she pointed out when soldiers were starting to rummage around.
They set out quickly and ran further into the thick coat of snow that slowly erased headquarters from her sight. She bid farewell to Hellsing and foolishly hoped that Alucard would find her. She also hoped she wouldn't die too soon.
Alucard…I'm sorry.