Chapter 34: Pillow Talk

I pull myself away from Varric, sighing at the loss of contact already, and throw on my dressing robe. After taking my evening dose of herbs I bring the tray of dinner, long since cold, over to the bed. He eyes it and makes an apologetic shrug. "It was hot when I brought it."

"Ah, but you've yet to learn the benefits of living with a mage of my particular talents." I balance the tray on one hand and channel heat through the other. I'm careful not to add any actual flame, just heat. I hover it over each of the plates for a few minutes. "Dinner in bed?" I ask.

"Useful," he comments, shaking his head in disbelief as he takes his plate. Grabbing my own, I place the tray on the nightstand.

We eat together, sitting on my bed, and I devour my food within minutes. I needed something after my "activities" today. The roasted meat and vegetables never tasted better. It's not long before he's finished as well, and the plates are stacked on top of the tray.

"So," I broach, "are you ever going to ask me?"

"You lost me. I assume you're referring to something specific," he replies, looking a bit confused.

"Well, I guess someone else has already asked me to the party at the Winter Palace, but I've been holding out for a certain dwarf."

"Who asked?" he questions, and I regret mentioning it.

"Cullen," I admit with a feeling of chagrin, and hurry to add, "but I let him know I was seeing someone."

"Seriously," he sighs quietly.

"You're the only one I want to go with, but you're not going to ask me?"

"I thought it was obvious. Of course I want to go with you, Firefly. We're together now, aren't we?"

"Yes," I answer without hesitation, and he smiles.

He gets out of bed, still undressed, and kneels on the floor on my side of the bed, one hand over his heart. I try to keep from laughing at the sight of a naked dwarf in such a pose.

"My dearest lady, would you do me the great honor of allowing me to escort you to the empress's gala?"

"Well, I don't know...I was planning on staying home that day…" I struggle to keep a straight face.

His eyebrows raise. "Oh really? Even if I do this?" He kisses my exposed calf, his eyes remaining on me as he does so.

I swallow hard, but manage to keep my composure. "I think I might need more convincing," I comment. I can't hold my humor back any longer, an unbidden giggle escaping me.

"Oh, well, I'm nothing if not persuasive." His hand creeps upward from my calf to my thigh, and I exhale a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Okay, you win, I'll go," I gush out.

"Giving in already? I was just getting started," he chuckles. I lean down and kiss him, my fingers sliding into his hair.

Sitting back up, I move over in the bed and make room for him, patting the now empty space beside me. "You'll stay the night, right?"

"On what is probably our last night with a bed before we get there? There's nowhere I'd rather be," he answers.

I prop myself up against the pillows and the headboard and open my arms, inviting him to join me. He crawls underneath the covers and rests his head on my chest. I stroke his hair, tucking it behind his ear.

"Have I mentioned I like your earrings?" I ask.

"No, but feel free to go on and tell me what else you like about me."

I laugh, but decide to humor him. "Well, there's your chest hair, obviously,"

"Obviously," he repeats.

"I like that you're good to your friends, that you support them even when you don't understand or believe everything that's going on. I like that you're not afraid to laugh, even in the dark times, but, at least when you're with me, you can be sincere."

"Okay, stop, I'm blushing," he jokes.

"Well, I'm still getting to know you better, but that's what I like so far. That and the amazing sex."

He laughs, a deep rumble. Afterwards I run my fingers through his hair again.

"Well, what do you like about me?" I ask.

"I like your crazy ideas. Racing in the middle of the night," he chuckles thinking about it. "I like how you always look up to see the sky, and dream of flying. I admire your bravery, and how you live life completely, like there's something you'd miss if you held back."

"But there is...I would have missed out on you. I'm really glad I met you, Varric."

"Same here, Ferox."

I kiss the top of his head.

"We probably should rest early...just in case you feel like waking me up in the night," I suggest with a giggle.

"Sounds like a plan," he responds, and leans over so that I can scoot back down next to him on the pillow. I fall asleep, wrapped in the warmth of his arms.

He does, in fact, wake me in the middle of the night, much to my delight.

I stir, and I realize it's still early. Why am I awake? I see Varric getting dressed already. I sit up, pulling the covers up around me.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he says, then smiles. "Well, this time, anyway. I wanted to go get my things now, so I wouldn't be late for the time to meet up. Nightingale would have my ass."

"Nightingale?" I ask.

"Leliana, the spymaster."

"Ah, yes, her. I forgot she's going. I guess we're going to have quite the entourage this time, since we're going to meet the empress."

"Yeah, all three advisors, plus the rest of us going on the actual missions after. I think that makes...eleven in total? And I doubt we could go anywhere near an Orlesian party without Vivienne wanting to go. So better make that an even dozen."

"No, it's a baker's dozen; you forgot Frederic of Serault. He's going for 'research'. So there will be tent sharing again," I comment.

"Less than you would think, because we're bringing along carts this time, at least as far as Halamshiral. We can bring more supplies for this part of the journey than we can with the smaller teams on horseback."

"Ah. Then I won't even get to sleep next to you?" I pout.

He fakes a sigh. "You just want me for my body heat."

I grin and shrug. "You caught me. But seriously, I know we can't exactly be together in a tent, but still I want to be close to you."

He smiles and walks back to the bed, leaning over me. "We'll figure it out. I'm not keen on being away from you either. Every time I leave you alone for two seconds, someone else hits on you."

"I like it when you're jealous, but you have nothing to worry about."

"I know," he replies, "I'll just feel better when they all know that you're taken."

"Thoroughly. I'm going to be sore today, after last night."

"Good. No healing it this time."

"What?"

"Since we're going to have to wait, I want you to remember the feeling of my touch."

"As if I could forget." I grin.

"Damn, you're really tempting with your hair all a mess...but I gotta leave." He kisses me, firmly but briefly. "You should get dressed. Trust me, Firefly, today is not a day to be late."

Varric heads out the door and I decide to finally give up the warm bed. Time to get on with it. I decide on a set of armor I haven't worn yet, in shades of red, with a leather tunic that flares into a pleated overskirt, and a heavy jacket. It will keep me warm here in the mountains, and the jacket can be removed later for a more mobile set of armor once we hit a warmer climate.

I pull my hair back on the sides, then braid it in one long braid down my back. Moving around, I feel the soreness in my muscles already, and the mirror shows my lips to be a deeper shade of pink than usual, but Varric's reasoning for asking me not to heal myself stops me from doing anything about it. It's as if we have another secret. Will anyone notice?

I gather my things and head down to the courtyard. Everyone is loading their packs into the two carts that will be going with us. I realize that this will probably mean our journey to Halamshiral will take longer as a result, but there's no helping it. This gala is undoubtedly a diplomatic move, and we need to make an impression. Hard to do that weary and dirty from a long journey.

I get the sensation that I'm being watched and turn to look. I see the spirit boy, Cole, again, looking at me curiously.

"The ashes taste bitter, but the storm is quiet now. He helps to heal the old hurts, but trust is torn as horror grows. Chains climbing, binding, bonds of fear and doubt that chafe. One of them has betrayed me."

"What's he talking about?" Garrett asks from next to her. "Who has betrayed you?"

I say nothing, staring at Cole. It's not his fault. He's just picking up on my worry about my brothers. I sigh. "There's nothing I can do about it right now, Cole."

Cole continues, "Always the friend, never the hero. Scared to believe, scars not quite healed, still burning, fearing that each touch will be the last, that fate and his failure will blow away the storm in the night."

I frown. That one's not mine, but I think I can guess who it was about.

"Kid, not now," Varric reproaches from next to Hawke, his grunt confirming my assumptions.

Cole looks at him. "Sorry," he says, backing away.

"Wait," I call, stopping him. "Do you know which one it is? Which one has betrayed me?"

He shakes his head. "I hear your hurts, not theirs."

"Thank you, anyway. I know you're trying to help." I nod, and Cole walks forward to stand next to Declan.

"So are you going to tell me about the betrayal thing? I can't help but be curious," Hawke states. It's good to see him again. I miss his directness when he's not around.

I look around to make sure no one else is listening in. Tenebris is speaking with Dorian, so he'll be a minute, and the others are far enough away that I don't have to worry about being overheard.

"Tenebris believes that Corypheus's rise to power is about more than him just being a darkspawn or a magister of old. He believes that he had help. Divine help."

"A god? Someone like your family, you mean?"

"Exactly like my family, if Tenebris is to believed. We're not the only ones capable, of course, but Tenebris has a theory that it might be Etiam or Lucis. Oh stars, I don't want to believe it."

Varric gripped my hand, and I smiled at him. I thought about what Cole said, that he worries about me leaving, and squeezed his hand back.

"Right," I say, nodding. "I'm staying. We're in this together, whatever may come."