Chapter Thirty-Eight: Social Graces
I study my appearance in the mirror, and I'm pleased with what I see. The comtesse, of course, had brought in extra valets and ladies' maids to help with the dressing and styling of such an illustrious group of guests as the Inquisition. It feels strange to have attendants again after taking care of myself for so long, but I'll admit, they make things like fixing my hair much simpler.
I chose this dress specifically in the hopes that Varric would like it. Not unlike most of my wardrobe, the dress has a high collar, and the silvery gray leather extends to cover the tops of my shoulders. A matching wide belt sits at my waist. The rest of the dress is draped from flowing fabric in shades of midnight blue and black. However, that isn't what makes the dress special. It's the hundreds of tiny crystals sewn into the fabric, strategically placed to gather near the bodice and hem. I turn, watching them catch the light coming in through the window, casting a million tiny reflective sparkles around the room. Firefly, indeed.
My hair has been twisted back on the sides, secured with ribbons adorned with jewels that trail down. The ever-present curls near my face have been turned into more enticing loose ringlets, and the rest of my hair left loose and wild. A metal comb sits at the back of my head, with a filigree fan of silver and more of the ornamental crystals that extends above like a crown. I pull on a pair of long midnight blue gloves that complete the look, but keep my ring on underneath. Just in case.
I leave my room and walk downstairs. Everyone is already waiting in their Inquisition finery. I have to admit that it really does make them look like a united front, but no way was I wearing the red tunic and trousers. My eyes seek out Varric, and I see him talking with Hawke. Hawke spots me first, and then Varric turns to look as I descend the rest of the stairs. He stops talking and just watches me. Yes, that's the reaction I was hoping for. I give him my best smile, and walk to his side. He doesn't say anything.
"Well, what did the dwarf in our story do this time?" I ask him.
He clears his throat, seemling to gather his thoughts. "The dwarf valiantly fought off the jealous sunset, for the starry splendor of a summer night beckoned to him, and only in the darkness could her light truly shine." He raises my gloved hand to his lips, then whispers, "You're breathtaking, Firefly."
My cheeks grow warm at the compliment and I have to look away for a moment.
"I wish I'd thought to get out of this getup," Hawke comments, tugging at the red long-sleeved tunic with the blue sash that marks him as part of the Inquisition.
"Yeah, but it looks good on you," I reply.
He smiles. "Glad you're coming with us, Ferox."
"You might want to wait until after we get through this before you say that," I respond with a chuckle.
"You'll be fine," Varric says. "We'll be there to help if you need it."
That thought does make me feel a little bit better, but I'm still apprehensive. I couldn't even get through a dinner with Declan, and now I'm going to be presented to Empress Celene herself? Not that I care so much about what the empress thinks, I just don't want to make things harder for Declan and the rest of the Inquisition. This is important to them.
"The coaches are ready," Cullen announces, walking into the room. "It's time."
Just breathe, Ferox. I'm standing next to Tenebris, listening to the names being called, and wringing my hands. Tenebris puts a hand on mine, motioning me to stop. We're going to be presented together, which works just fine for me. Varric has already told me that once we're announced, he'll find me, and I can't wait to get this part over with. His turn is up next.
"Renowned author Varric Tethras, head of noble House Tethras, deshyr to the Dwarven Merchant's Guild." Hearing it all together does sound pretty impressive. Not as impressive as Cassandra's never-ending names, but I feel pride as he walks forward across the ballroom floor.
I look up at Tenebris and he offers his arm. "We're up, sister." I reach up to take it.
"Archmages Ferox and Tenebris, arcane consultants to the Inquisition." I give an inward cringe at the introduction. We'd agreed on the term "archmage" as opposed to other terms. Two apostates claiming to be senior enchanters probably would not have gone over well with the more devout in the crowd. Tenebris and I have never set foot inside a Circle - of course, they hadn't even existed when we last left the Black City. The announcer embellished the rest, but I suppose it's an accurate enough description.
We walk across the floor as I had seen others do, and joined the others. I overhear whispers from the crowd. The two of us are likely fodder for gossip, but so far, so good. Let them wonder about us. I can do this. I will do this...for all of them.
My attention is occupied by my thoughts and I miss the rest of the introductions, then it's over and everyone is mingling, and the dancing starts. I take the marble stairs in front of me to the second story balcony, and find an empty spot near one of the open doorways. I look out at the sky and see that clouds have rolled in. Looks like rain. At least they planned this thing for indoors.
"Ah, here you are," Varric says, and I turn to see him smiling at me. "Do you want to dance?"
"You trust me not to murder your feet this time?" I joke.
"I trust you with more than that," he says honestly, disarming my humor, and I shyly nod at his invitation, taking his hand and following him out onto the dance floor. The song isn't an overly fast one, much to my relief. We find our place among the mass of twirling couples and I move myself into position. I meet Varric's gaze. He's watching me with a gentle expression that makes me think back to what Hawke said earlier. He was right. I do love Varric. I expected the thought to make me happy, but the first emotion I experience is pain, a crushing feeling in my chest that steals my breath away. No, Ferox, you still have time together, hopefully many years. He's not gone yet, don't think about what happens when he's not here anymore. Don't let your sadness ruin this moment.
"Something's on your mind," he points out in a low volume.
"Just fighting a few internal fear demons. But I'm winning." I smile. "I'll fill you in on it later."
The kind smile is back, along with the bittersweet hope of a future together, however long we might have. I'd once told Tenebris that Varric might want to join us, to become like us, but I'd just been spouting off defensively. Still, it is possible. Varric could go through the same ritual that my brothers and I did so long ago. Would he be willing to? I'm sure living forever sounds like a dream to some, but when they realize that it means they will outlive everyone they've ever cared about, the idea becomes far less appealing. I'll tell him about it, at least, but that has to be his decision. Having figured that out, I devote my attention back to our dance, and smile back at him.
We move gracefully this time, my awkwardness from earlier gone. I know this dance. It's the first one he showed me. He grabs my hand and I spin out away from him, then I'm back close, his hand again at my waist. Before I know it, the song is over. I see Cullen standing with Cassandra against the wall. They seem to be talking with a group of young females.
"Varric, I need a favor," I tell him.
He frowns. "Why do I get the impression I'm not going to like doing this?"
I chuckle. "I promised Cullen I'd rescue him from the nobles for a dance. Can you occupy Seeker Cassandra? Maybe you could ask her to be your partner for the next song?" I suggest.
He gives me an incredulous look. "Wait, you're the reason he came with her, aren't you? Shit, Firefly, I thought I'd never stop laughing when I heard about it."
"Oh stop it, I think they're perfect for each other. Besides, as much as you hide it, I think you like Cassandra just fine."
"The woman had me kidnapped and interrogated me about Hawke."
"Yeah, and you like her anyway. Stop dodging...will you do it?"
He shrugs, and puts a hand to his head. "Alright, but you owe me one after this."
"Anything," I agree.
"Anything?" he asked, grinning.
I giggle, but I nod.
"My lady always makes the most interesting requests," he says, mirroring something he had said in one of our more intimate moments, and I blush. "At least life with you is never boring, Firefly."
We walk together over to Cassandra and Cullen. Cullen looks up and sees us walking over. The noblewomen are facing away from us. I give him a conspiratory nod and tilt my head in a small motion toward the dance floor.
"I'm sorry, but there's an urgent matter that needs my attention. Enjoy your evening, ladies," he says, excusing himself from the pack of twittering ladies. He strides over to me. "Thank you for remembering, Ferox," he says, expelling a breath, and extends his arm. I look at Varric, then flick my eyes to Cassandra. He shakes his head at me, but moves to go talk to her.
Cullen and I find a spot to dance. I'm grateful for the practice with Hawke at dancing with someone taller than me, but it's still awkward. I laugh at a particularly uncomfortable move, and I'm happy to hear his chuckle above me.
"You were right about the height difference being an issue, it appears. I have to admit, though, I was a bit surprised to find out that Varric was the would-be suitor you were talking about. I could have sworn it would have been the Champion."
"Why does everyone always think that? No, Hawke is like an extra brother."
"I'm just grateful he allowed you to dance with me. Those women are...persistent."
"I can only imagine. Thankfully Varric has been keeping me busy and I haven't had to talk to too many of the nobles yet. I suppose we should, though, right? It's what we're here for."
"Declan has checked in once already. He appears to be doing quite well on his own. I trust Leliana to keep an eye on things, but I'm not sure I agree with her recommendations right now."
"Declan said he was going to fill me in, something about seeing a future he wanted to prevent, but I think he must have forgotten, or just never got around to it."
"I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you. You're already aware of part of it, with the Wardens and their plot. Declan got sent forward in time, saw what happens if Corypheus wins. The world was covered in red lyrium. A demon army was raised and devastated the land, which we now know was planned by the Wardens. And," he continues, leaning in to whisper this part, "there was an assassination of the empress."
"So that's why we're here."
He nods. "There seem to be two other players. An elf named Briala and Grand Duke Gaspard who both seem to be scheming against Celene. Declan is investigating, trying to determine where the Inquisition should place its support. I'm afraid Leliana and I don't see eye to eye on this one." He sees my worried expression. "We're handling it, but if you happen to hear anything, let Leliana or Declan know. Keeping eyes off of them is just as important a task tonight."
"So I'm a distraction?" I ask with a grin. "I might actually be good at that."
He chuckles again. "Precisely."
The song is ending. "Thank you for telling me, Cullen. I feel a little out of the loop sometimes. I'm pretty sure Leliana will never trust me, but if there's anything else I can do, let me know."
"Just enjoy the party," he says as we walk back off the dance floor. I don't see Cassandra or Varric, and I turn to look for them, only to see them walking off the floor on the opposite side. They separate, with Cassandra heading left on the balcony. Varric looks across to me, nods in my direction, and takes off to the right.
"I believe Cassandra is heading this way. I'm going to meet up with Varric again. Thanks for not making fun of my dancing," I say, only half-joking.
He makes a small bow, and turns to head in the other direction, toward where Cassandra had been. I immediately lose track of Varric as I round the corner. The crowd here has grown, and it's difficult to even find passage through the bodies. I step around another group of nobles when I hear my name.
"I hear this Ferox and her brother spent a great deal of time in Tevinter. It was bad enough that they let a magister's son join, but how the Herald of Andraste would tolerate such obvious Tevinter spies planted in the midst of the Inquisition is beyond me."
I turn to look to see who has spoken, but I can't tell in the crowd. I do see my brother off to my right, and he has apparently heard the comment as well, as he's already walking in my direction, a murderous expression on his face.
"Well, I heard," a second voice says, "that she's no more than a barbarian, practically raised by animals. No sense of etiquette or manners at all." I'm able to identify the speaker this time, a tall thin woman dressed in an elaborate dress with a wide skirt. She's wearing a mask, but from the way her face is turned, I'm guessing she didn't know I was standing there.
My face burns. I won't give those society gossips the pleasure of seeing me cry, but their words hurt. Don't get angry, it's just high society games, Ferox. Control your temper. Tenebris reaches my side and I can tell he's having the same internal battle.
"If we weren't here as representatives of the Inquisition, that viper wouldn't have a mouth anymore at all, let alone be able to speak badly of you," he says, clenching his jaw. "Wait, I have an idea."
"No blood magic," I whisper furtively close to his ear. "There are plenty here who would recognize it for what it is."
His shoulders slump. "You're right, but she still deserves to be taught a lesson. I'll have to settle for something a little more subtle, then." He waves his hand and I see the violet tendrils filter out from his hand. My eyes widen, realizing what he's casting.
I put a hand on his arm and we start walking on, toward where I last saw Varric. I hear the woman shriek behind us. A glass crashes to the floor and someone calls out, "Maker! Are you alright?"
I know exactly what Tenebris did. She'll live, but her sudden panic in the middle of the empress's gala will be the talk of nobles for at least days to come. The embarrassment of such a spectacle will keep her quiet for while. I'm a little proud of him for holding in his anger and doing something less overt.
"Horror, huh? Good one," I tell him with a grin, and he pats my hand.
"Your turn next," he tells me. "You know where that 'Ferox is a barbarian' nonsense must have come from, right?"
I sigh, realization dawning on me, and, looking ahead, I see her: Vivienne. "Well, Cullen did tell me it would be helpful to have a distraction from whatever Declan is doing behind the scenes."
"Perfect. Let's get that prissy bitch."
I grin and we go in, Tenebris moving away from me to move behind her, in case she decides to back away from me. I get close, and one of the women around her asks, "How is the Duke fairing?"
"The healers are hopeful that he may make a recovery yet," she says, her voice wavering in a way I've never heard before. I gesture with my hand down by my waist, a signal to Tenebris not to do anything yet, and I settle in at the railing near them to listen.
"Do send Bastien our regards; his health is ever in our thoughts," the woman says before they change the topic. I walk back out into the center of the balcony, and Tenebris follows.
"Why didn't you do anything?" he wonders.
"Her lover is dying," I tell him, guiding him to another one of the open doorways. Looking through the opening, I can see that the rain has started, thick sheets of water obscuring the landscape beyond. I sigh, thinking about my own situation. At least Varric is still young and in good health. "I guess I can understand what she's feeling a bit."
"Oh, Ferox, there is time yet," he says. "Don't steal worries from another day. You chose this. Be happy...I will be here for you when the time comes."
"And what of you? Or am I reading things wrong between you and Dorian?" I ask.
He purses his lips. "Truthfully I'm not sure what to make of him. You know I did not approve of your choices in starting a relationship with a mortal. I...don't want to end up like Lucis."
"I don't think we will. We have each other."
"You're going to ask him, aren't you?" Tenebris questions, and I just nod.
"Even if you get Lucis to agree to this - which he won't, by the way - Varric is a dwarf. The magic may not even work on him."
"I have to try."