Chapter Forty: Raising Stakes

I awaken in the middle of the night, and reach over to find Varric's space unoccupied. Looking up, I find him on the other side of the room sitting at the small desk. His form is outlined in silhouette from the candlelight and the light of a small oil lamp. I hear the scratch of a quill as he writes. The fire has burned down to glowing embers, adding very little in the way of light or warmth to the room. I swing my legs out from under the covers and grab one of the extra blankets from the bed.

"You know, I haven't seen you write much since we left Skyhold," I comment.

"Inspiration often comes in the middle of the night," he mutters over his shoulder.

"I don't want to disturb you, but you should take better care of yourself," I say, walking over to him.

He looks up.

"Here. You have to be freezing." I hand him the blanket, and plant a kiss on his head. "Happy writing, love. Make sure to get some rest." I add a couple of small pieces of wood to the fire and set them ablaze before crawling back into bed.

I sleep through until morning after that, waking slowly. Varric is next to me, his arm draped over my side, and his even breathing tells me that he's still asleep. I relax, careful not to move, letting him sleep for a few more minutes.

I did what I could last night. I told him about the ritual. This open honesty thing, while difficult, does seem to have its advantages. My conscience feels clear. I try to move out of bed carefully, but I end up waking him in the process.

"Firefly?" he asks, his throat gravelly with sleep.

"Like a twitchy cat, I swear," I tease. "I'm getting up, but it's still early. You can sleep a little longer, if you like." I slide out from under the covers.

We're leaving today and that brings me one step closer to the Sandy Howler. I sigh, thinking about it. I walk to the other side of the room and dress in my red armor. Pulling on the long coat this morning gives me a sense of purpose, like a warrior brandishing their shield. I need to stay focused. The dragons must live. I quietly pack up my things, and I see Varric getting out of bed.

"I don't see Bianca, which means you left some things in your room," I note. "Do you want me to help you pack?"

"You really are like a mother hen sometimes," he says, and I blush.

"I want to help you...do you not like it?"

"No, I'm just not used to it. It's usually the other way around for me."

"Ah…"

"What is it? You seem tense."

"Just thinking about this dragon in the Hissing Wastes."

"Well, at least it's pretty far out there. We still have plenty of time before we get there."

"Part of me is happy that it isn't happening yet, and part of me just wants to get it over with. I've thought about just using the ring, and finding the dragon myself."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asks, putting a hand on my arm.

"Just remember your promise. If things go wrong, get Tenebris."

He nods. "I can do that."

"I should check in with Etiam then if you're going to be a minute. I haven't spoken with him in days. I'd like to hear about Lucis. Last report, he wasn't well."

He frowns. "Alright...you probably miss them, don't you?"

"Of course. You miss your brother, don't you? But being here, helping the Inquisition, it's the right thing to do. I'm not going anywhere."

He gives a wry smile and a nod. He picks up his things, which he must have packed last night before when he was writing, and opens the door. "I'll see you downstairs."

"Wait!" I call, running to the door. "You're forgetting something."

He looks around the room, and looks at me in confusion.

I grin and slide a hand along his waist, pulling him in closer for a kiss.

He breaks it off with a chuckle. "Good morning to you too, Firefly. Go talk to your brother." He backs away, pulling the door closed.

I fix my hair, braiding it in two plaits again, as it's simple and fast. I cast my healing spell to avoid feeling sore muscles throughout the day. I should have offered to do the same for Varric. I remember his comment about me being a "mother hen", and I realize he may be right.

I open the pendant, and connect the magic. "Etiam, are you there?" No response again. Has Lucis already left? Oh stars, what if he's already at Skyhold? Maybe Tenebris knows something.

I allow the blue glow to fade from the pendant, and try to shove aside my worry. One thing at a time. I pick up my bags and head down to join the others. Vivienne and the advisors are saying their farewells. Cullen looks up when I enter.

"I was wondering if we would see you before we left. Maker be with you on your mission."

And may he not be waiting for you back at Skyhold, I think, but instead I say, "Thanks. I'm still planning on beating you at chess when I get back, don't think I've forgotten."

He smiles. "Then I will look forward to it."

"May your journey home be swift and pleasant." He nods, and walks outside.

I look around, trying to find Varric. I don't see him, but some of the others aren't here yet, either.

Hawke notices me and comments, "He hasn't come down yet, but I'm surprised you didn't know that already, what with you two sneaking off alone together last night. You missed all the action."

"Or did we?" I quip, and Garrett laughs. "But seriously, what did we miss?"

"Only Declan confronting the Grand Duchess in front of the entire court and revealing her plot to murder Celene. She'd been helping Corypheus all along."

"Wait, the Grand Duchess was working for Corypheus?! Stars, I definitely didn't see that one coming." I shake my head. Another odd feat for the ancient magister. "I think I have a lot more respect for what Josephine does, though, after last night. Those nobles are vicious."

"Yeah, I don't think 'the Champion' will be accepting any more party invites for a while either. And here I thought Kirkwall was bad."

Varric joins the two of us, Bianca once again strapped to his back. "Hey, Hawke," he says.

"Back on the road again," Garrett sighs. "It was nice to sleep in a bed for once."

I spot Tenebris, and turn to Varric. "I need to talk to my brother, but I'll meet you outside, okay?"

"Sure thing, Firefly."

I walk away from them, thinking about Varric and Hawke's friendship. If Varric agrees to the ritual, he'll end up having to grieve Hawke's death at some point. But, as recent events have shown me, even if things don't last forever it doesn't mean they aren't worth pursuing. I've made quite a few friends of my own here, and I wouldn't trade this feeling, despite knowing that I'll lose them all in time.

But I guess it's not that different for them. Sometime in the future, the Inquisition will have outlived its usefulness; and like it or not, the group will probably drift apart. It will become harder to keep up with each of the individual members, and eventually, they will all forget how it feels right now to be part of something larger than themselves. The Chanty's power was never from following the words of a dead woman. Groups of people with a common cause, that's where the real power lies among the mortals.

"Tenebris, can I talk to you?" I ask, interrupting a conversation he's having with Declan.

"Of course, Sister. If you will excuse me, Inquisitor," he states with a small bow of his head, and moves to follow me.

We step to the side in a more secluded area. "Have you heard from Etiam? I tried reaching out to him, but he hasn't responded. I'm worried about Lucis."

He pauses before responding. "I didn't want to alarm you, but Lucis already left yesterday morning. Etiam is not sure where he is, but he believes he is searching for us."

"But if he's here and not in the Black City, then he can't use the Well."

"Thank goodness. If he'd seen the events of last night's party, I'm sure he would have been looking for us here in Halamshiral."

"I hope we can dodge him a little bit longer. I need to handle this situation with the Sandy Howler first."

Tenebris scowls at me. "A Sandy Howler, Ferox?" he says, his volume loud enough that it draws the attention of a few of our companions. "You didn't say you'd be going up against a fire dragon. No, there's no way I'm letting you do this."

"Is there a problem?" Declan asks, joining our conversation. "Ferox seemed concerned about it before, but she said she wanted to do it."

"Yes, there's damned well a problem. She's not doing it." He turns to me, "Ferox, you know the risks."

"And I've made plans for if something happens."

"Tell me what I'm missing," Declan says.

Tenebris sighs. "It's about Ferox's magic. Something...went wrong with a ritual we did long ago. Fire magic, the more advanced kinds, anyway, have been difficult for her ever since. There's a possibility that it can take her over, steal her will."

"Like possession?" Declan asks bluntly.

"Somewhat, although no actual demons are involved. It's...complicated."

I purse my lips. "I'm doing this, Tenebris. She's an elder dragon, and a rare Sandy Howler on top of that. When is the last time we even saw one of those? If she lives to be an ancient dragon, she'll bring a new type of magic into the world. I will see to it that she has that chance."

"Even if you lose yourself? Ferox, even you must see that this is too risky to do on your own."

"I told you, I have a plan."

Declan asks, "Would it help if you were there, Tenebris? I need another mage, but I could take Hawke in your place and let you go with Cassandra's team."

"Yes, if my sister insists on being an utter fool, then I will be there."

"Now wait just a minute-" Varric says, attempting to interject.

Tenebris cuts him off. "I don't need an opinion from someone who understands nothing about our family."

"Damn it, Tenebris, you don't have to say it like that. Varric's only trying to protect me."

"Then he should keep you off this mission."

"Ugh! I hate when you're stubborn like this!"

"No more than you, Sister."

Hawke starts laughing, and I glare at him. "Sorry," he says. "You just sounded exactly like my family used to. Bethany and Carver would get into it just like that."

I chuckle, despite myself, then give a frustrated sigh. "Sorry, Tenebris, I know you're just worried."

"Does he have good reason to be, Ferox?" Declan asks.

I sigh. "Yes. It's not going to be easy, but I believe I can handle this. And, I suppose, it will be better if Tenebris is there to handle things if I run into problems."

"Then it's settled. Hawke, you will be joining Dorian, The Iron Bull, and myself to check out these Venatori dig sites. Tenebris, you will go with your sister, Varric, Frederic, and Cassandra to see to the dragon."