So close. Starscream had been so close.
He growled to himself as he paced around the Nemesis' med bay, optics locked on the motionless form laid out on one berth. The desire to dig his talons into the damaged, blackened armor and tear it apart until he could do the same to the internal systems was driving him crazy, but he couldn't act on it. Not with Soundwave in the room, doing Primus knew what with the machines reading the lifeless mech's vitals. His back was turned, but that didn't mean he wasn't watching. Soundwave was always watching. Which was exactly why Starscream had been forced to bring Megatron's body back to the Nemesis rather than abandon the lifeless husk in space as he had intended.
Megatron looked dead. He should be dead. Mechs didn't survive being caught at the epicenter of space bridge explosions or having giant holes torn in their chests by said explosions. But Megatron had, and being unable to rectify the situation was maddening.
Starscream growled again, flexing his fingers as he briefly considered tearing into Megatron's frame regardless of Soundwave's presence. But he forced the impulse down, folding his hands behind his back where they wouldn't get him in trouble, and stalked up behind the primary source of his irritation.
"Well, Soundwave? What's the prognosis?" The question came out as more of a demand than he intended; his hatred of their leader was no secret, but he usually tried not to be open about it. Right now, though, he found it hard to care if his anger was obvious.
Soundwave turned his head marginally, acknowledging Starscream's presence. When he received no other response, Starscream flicked his gaze to the monitors, scanning the readouts without registering them. The numbers didn't matter. All that mattered was that Megatron was in no immediate danger of expiring, and wasn't that just wonderful?
A foreign but familiar consciousness brushed against his, transmitting a strong sense of disapproval. Starscream pointedly refused to look at Soundwave, but he couldn't help a harsh, "Am I bothering you?"
It was pure bravado, and they both knew it. Starscream didn't have a chance against Soundwave in close quarters. But where most mechs would have reminded him of that fact, Soundwave merely tapped on a few keys, bringing up a list of Megatron's damages. It told Starscream nothing he didn't already know, but a more subdued pulse from the mind touching his spoke volumes: Megatron was alive, but damaged beyond the Decepticons' current ability to repair him.
It made Starscream feel better. He stepped back and turned to regard Megatron's frame again, no longer feeling such an intense need to disassemble it. "What a pity."
He resumed pacing without his earlier agitation, and was pleased when Soundwave turned from the monitors, now giving Starscream his full attention. "One almost wonders why we went to the trouble of recovering his body if there's no hope of restoring it," he continued. "Languishing here is really no better than perishing there, wouldn't you agree?"
Soundwave didn't. They both knew that too. But Starscream couldn't resist taunting him with the fact that Megatron was effectively scrap metal. Served him right for spying on a superior officer.
After several seconds without a reaction, Starscream shrugged. "If you insist on believing our lord will miraculously recover from this on his own, far be it from me to stop you. But the fact remains that he's in no fit state to lead us. We shall simply have to carry on without him until such a time as he awakes or… succumbs. Though perhaps Skyquake will be more reasonable now that we have evidence of my rule-"
He paused, finally remembering something rather important. "Where is Skyquake?"
In reply, Soundwave played back an audio clip of Optimus Prime's voice: "Had Skyquake chosen to stray from his master's path, we might not be burying him today."
Starscream stared at him. "He's dead?"
He was surprised to feel a twinge of regret at the news. It had been a long time since he last saw another Seeker, and as disrespectful as Skyquake had been, he would have been nice to have around. But Starscream resolutely buried the regret under anger as Soundwave nodded.
"Of course he is," he seethed. "What else did he think was going to happen when he decided to take on a Prime on his own? Surely he didn't expect to win."
Soundwave tilted his head, then played another recording, this time of Starscream's own voice. "-once it becomes known that Skyquake destroyed Optimus Prime-"
Starscream blinked. "I- Well, of course I hoped, but- Oh, never mind! What's done is done. The important thing now is that we locate the rest of the sleepers on this planet as quickly as possible. The sooner we crush the Autobots, the sooner we can be done with this blasted war."
Soundwave looked at Megatron. Starscream scowled inwardly, but forced himself to stay outwardly calm - while approaching Soundwave at an angle that conveniently blocked his view of the berth.
"As you indicated, there's nothing we can do for Lord Megatron now. Perhaps if he's still holding on when the Autobots have been defeated, we will be able to find a medic who is up to the task of piecing him back together. But until that happens I am in command, and you would be best served to stay focused on the present, not possible futures. Is that understood?"
Starscream had never felt comfortable pulling rank on Soundwave. It was only ever necessary when they disagreed on something, and he always worried that disagreement would lead to pain if he pushed it. Not from Soundwave, who had never touched him with the intent to harm, but from Megatron, who invariably found out and sided with his most loyal servant. Even knowing he was currently in no condition to do anything to anyone didn't calm the anxiety Starscream felt now, and he had to fight the urge to make sure Megatron was still lifeless behind him.
He could have collapsed with relief when Soundwave nodded, accepting his reasoning. The action was paired with a pulse of calm, indicating Soundwave wasn't upset with him. He wasn't sure he trusted it, but if it meant no retaliation was forthcoming, he would take it at face value.
He shook himself mentally and nodded as well, trying to look more in control of the situation than he felt. "See to it that you don't forget."
Stop pushing it, idiot, he told himself as he turned away, wings tense with the fear of being struck from behind. But nothing happened, and he managed to keep his voice calm as he added, "I would suggest you get some rest before we continue our search. It's been a trying day, what with Skyquake's death and learning of Lord Megatron's survival." He paused, thinking. "We won't tell the crew about Skyquake. They were unaware of his presence on this planet to begin with, and telling them now would cause needless pessimism. They will be more interested in hearing about our master's survival anyway."
The last words were a bitter grumble. The Vehicons' complete lack of faith in him as a leader was disappointing, especially after Starscream, not Megatron, was the one who had led them for the last three years. He was the one who had kept them fueled and safely hidden from Autobot optics, and the one who had successfully ended an Autobot the moment they found it out of its nest. What had Megatron accomplished after his return beyond wasting time and getting their Space Bridge destroyed? Not to mention ordering one of their biggest energon mines blown, processed fuel and all. They would have been set for months if they had simply fought back and either killed the Autobots or driven them out, but of course one such as Megatron couldn't be bothered to think about the long term…
Starscream felt more than heard Soundwave move up behind him, thanks to the radiated warmth of another frame pressing against his back. Part of him wanted to lean back into it, to pretend for a moment that he had something resembling an ally on this blasted ship. But the larger part knew he wouldn't be able to pretend. Not with this mech who only obeyed him because Megatron had left him in charge. He glanced disinterestedly over his shoulder, waiting for Soundwave to berate him for his mutinous thoughts. When it didn't happen, he scowled.
"Did you want something, Soundwave?"
Soundwave stared back at him. He couldn't see Soundwave's face behind the black mask, even at this proximity, but he could feel the gaze on him. It made him uncomfortable, and the warmth behind him was starting to feel more smothering than inviting. He stayed still only because he knew from experience that telepathy made certain concepts difficult to convey. True communication was almost impossible, due to a number of variables, so he was used to having to wait while Soundwave figured out the clearest way to get his message across.
Well. That, and he wasn't about to let Soundwave know the proximity was starting to bother him.
Finally, Soundwave played two clips in succession: one of the Vehicons muttering, which Starscream knew had been recorded earlier that day, and the other…
"I will make things right, I swear!"
He flinched from the sound of his own voice, frightened and in pain. It upset him less than Megatron's would have, but being reminded of his most recent beating and subsequent behavior still made him nauseous. He stepped away from Soundwave, shoulders hunching in an instinctive attempt to protect himself, and his optics flickered briefly back to Megatron.
"S-so? That wasn't my fault! H-how was I supposed to know- I was just-"
But how, exactly, was it not his fault? He was the one who had ordered the human known as Agent Fowler captured, which had led to the Autobots damaging the Nemesis' targeting systems during their recovery of said human. He was the one who had delayed the execution of Megatron's plan long enough for the Autobots to counterattack. In a certain sense he was even responsible for the state Megatron was in now, which would have been a cause for pride a few hours ago. Now he just took another step back and hunched over a little more, afraid Soundwave was drawing similar conclusions.
He flinched again when Soundwave's mind touched his, but the contact was calm and devoid of any sense of blame. He didn't get it. Why bring the incident up if not to blame him for what had happened?
Soundwave played the Vehicon clip again and Starscream thought he understood.
"They blame me," he concluded, the bitterness creeping back into his voice as the fear eased. "Or else they think I'm too weak… too incompetent to lead them. To really lead them, not merely to keep the Autobots ignorant of us."
Soundwave nodded. Starscream growled softly, optics focusing on empty air as he turned the new realization over. Three years of successful leadership, made meaningless by one vicious attack from a mech stronger than him.
Is that seriously how you define "successful"? the scathing inner voice asked. Hiding and hoarding energon while you waited for your master to return? But then, I suppose that's better than what happens when you take action…
Something brushed his shoulder, making him start and refocus on Soundwave, who was already withdrawing his hand. He glared at Soundwave for a few moments, then growled again and moved away, raising a hand to his shoulder as though to wipe away the contact.
"Very well, then," he murmured, optics returning to Megatron's frame. "If they're so concerned with how we're going to win this war without him, we'll just have to show them." He turned to Soundwave, motioning in the general direction of the bridge. "Prepare to address the troops. We will inform them of Lord Megatron's survival, and then begin our search for other, more obedient warriors than Skyquake."
Once again, a small nod was his only answer. Starscream hesitated, optics returning to Megatron's frame.
"You… Go on ahead. I have something to attend to before the address."
Soundwave didn't move for a few moments; just long enough for Starscream to feel distinctly threatened. Then he turned and left the room without a backward glance, but leaving no doubt in Starscream's mind that harming Megatron would be a terrible idea.
He watched Soundwave go, then his optics slid to the massive frame lying on the berth and he sighed.
"Wonderful," he muttered. "I left here today looking for a warrior, and all I get is the shell of our former leader."
Well. That wasn't quite true. But the day's other acquisition was… not necessarily useful.
He glanced over his shoulder at the door, wary of Soundwave suddenly returning, then drew his prize from subspace. The shard of Dark Energon he'd torn from Megatron's chest glowed brightly in the dim room, tinting his hands purple. He narrowed his optics, turning it over.
Of all the things Megatron could have dug up during his three years wandering space, why did it have to be fragging Dark Energon? And not the diluted, liquid form once stored on Trypticon Station, no. He'd managed to find raw crystals. As if it hadn't been dangerous enough in its processed state.
He tore his gaze from it, closing both hands around the shard to hide its glow. He should destroy it. Just like he should have done back then. Nothing good would ever, could ever come from keeping it. Or worse, using it. How Megatron could have thought an army of undead monsters would be a good idea was beyond Starscream.
Actually, no it wasn't. He could easily imagine how something out of any normal bot's nightmares would seem like a good idea to Megatron. For his own part, he would rather have living warriors.
Somehow, he found himself slipping the Dark Energon back into subspace.
He studied the monitors hooked up to Megatron's body for a few moments, clasping his hands behind his back, then snorted. "No matter. Skyquake wasn't the only sleeper on this planet, and perhaps the others will be more respectful than he was." His gaze cut back to Megatron. "And as for you, you aren't going anywhere. Not without your precious Dark Energon. You're as dependent on it as… your creatures…"
He trailed off, staring nervously at the body. Did he believe in miraculous recoveries? No. But he absolutely believed in undead resurrection, and he had to look back to the monitors to remind himself that Megatron wasn't actually dead. He just looked dead. There would be no gruesome zombie awakening. He would need the Dark Energon for that anyway.
All the same, Starscream decided he had other places to be. He left the lab as quickly as he dared, just in case there was someone in the halls outside who might see, but there was no one. Good.
He sighed heavily, running a hand down his face as he walked. What a disaster the day had turned into. Skyquake dead, Megatron alive, the troops doubting him… He scowled. That last, at least, he could do something about. If they were so convinced that they couldn't defeat the Autobots without Megatron, he would just have to prove them wrong. No more hiding, no more taking opportunities as they came. He had done that throughout the war, watching and waiting, but never acting until it was… too late.
Megatron had always said he was too timid to be a leader. Too unwilling to take risks unless motivated by consequences worse than simple failure. And the Prime...
"If you want to be a true leader, Starscream," he had said, "then stray from Megatron's path, and lead the Decepticons towards peace."
But what, exactly, was peace? Something to be negotiated? The result of total conquest? Who got to define it? And didn't they both lead to the same place in the end, anyway?
Frag, who got to define what leadership was? Everyone seemed to have their own ideas of what it meant, and what leaders should do. Negotiate the end of the war, fight until every last Autobot was dead, end the killing, be more forceful, don't do what Megatron would do, follow Megatron's plans or else… Where was the middle ground? There had to be a path somewhere between the two extremes, didn't there?
There you go again, always looking for the best angle and wasting time on possibilities. Commit for once in your life!
Starscream shut his optics briefly. He knew what the right path was. He had tried to win the war through politics, by manipulating events to his own gain and making alliances he would just as readily end if a better opportunity presented itself, and he ended up as nothing but a plaything for mechs stronger than him. Whereas Megatron...
Megatron was brutal, manipulative, and willing to kill everything that moved as long as it meant he was the last one standing. He had no interest in diplomatic resolution of the war and imposed his will through force, showing himself to be exactly the sort of monster he had once claimed to be fighting. And mechs flocked to him! They would die for him, be it out of loyalty or fear. Megatron's methods should have led to the Decepticons' self-destruction, and instead he'd built an army, had torn the Autobots down to a few disjointed groups with no ability to contact each other… He'd done everything Starscream couldn't do, everything except kill Optimus Prime. And why? How?
Maybe it was because he didn't think the way Starscream did. He didn't waste time on possibilities and moral questions. He didn't consider the risks or alternatives of a given plan. He decided what he wanted and he would fight to the death to get it. Not at all like Starscream, who wouldn't risk his life for anything. And certainly not like Optimus, who preached peace while losing the war. No matter how Starscream looked at it, Megatron's path was the right one. It always had been.
I studied for millennia under our former master. Starscream's own words from earlier that day echoed through his mind as he paused outside the bridge, taking a deep ventilation to steady himself. Studied, yes, but what did it matter if he never used what he'd learned? What did it matter if he still clung to methods that continually failed him?
Something had to change. Starscream had to change. It was the only way he could keep the Decepticons together and functioning.
No more hiding, he repeated silently, stalking through the doors with head and wings held high. From here on out, the Autobots' reprieve was over. After three years of neither side seeing a trace of the other, the war would resume in force. Except this time the Decepticons fought under Starscream, not Megatron. This time the Autobots and their precious Prime would fall.
This time, Starscream would come out on top. One way or another.