AN: New Chapter, New Companion! Yay!

Max had managed to escape the grip of the scarecrow and was plodding along beside the somehow-animate object. He'd be willing to bet the Real Neil would be having a near-asthma attack by now from all the walking, but given that the Living-Scarecrow-That-Doesn't-Believe-In-Magic had no internal organs, cells, or functional brain, it didn't need to breathe.

He stuffed Mr. Honeynuts into his expansive hoodie pocket to avoid him getting dirty, lost, or stolen. Plus, Neil had asked about it and he had to lie and say it was a protective spirit-animal or some shit. The scarecrow had enough brains to not believe it, but enough common sense to realize Max didn't want to talk about it.

They had exited the fields and got to the outskirts of the charming countryside. The berry bushes and dandelion leaves gave way to a moderately dense forest with sparse log cabins every now and then that strongly resembled smaller cabins around Camp Campbell.

*grumble*

Max clenched his stomach as hunger took hold again. The pudding was ages ago and the sparse foraging wasn't enough to keep up the calories lost walking all day. Neil (having never needed to eat) tried offering him bark, explaining how 'if prepared properly, it's a powerful source of fiber'.

They kept walking, going deeper and deeper into the woodlands until-

"Hey, look Max!" Neil exclaimed, "Apples!"

A couple gnarled old apple trees were bunched together in a grove off the side of the road. Even from there they could see bright red apples dotting the foliage. Max eagerly ran over there and jumped in place for any low-hanging fruit. "Uhn! Uhn! I can't reach! Neil, get over here so I can hop on your shoulders."

Neil cautiously allowed Max on top of his shoulders, adding significant height to the smaller-than-average 10 year old. "Um, you sure that's safe?"

"Don't pussy out on me, Neil." Max argued, grunting as he reached for a fruit.

"What do you think you're doing, sonny?!"

Surprised, Max fell backwards, topping over Neil with the off-balanced movement. They looked around and Max saw nobody there. No old, cranky farmer ready to run after them with a shovel or something.

"Over here, you whippersnapper!"

Max blinked as he realized the trees themselves were the ones making that noise. What's more, the bark in the trees was distinctly in the faces of the two grumpy old guys rocking on the porch of Sleepy Peak that one time he followed David into town.

"You kids these days are so spoiled! Going up to innocent trees and just taking what you want, with your fancy mirror-phones and Inter-fishnet. Back when I was sprouted, we sent carrier pigeons and we liked it!" The taller grump shouted.

"You aren't that old, Herb! Quit lyin'." The stouter grumpy tree argued.

Max sighed loud enough to break apart the fight before it started, "Look, can we get some apples or not?"

"You brat! We've got our quota to fill!" The taller one snapped, "Can't go about giving them to any old whippersnapper on the trail!"

"So, what are you gonna do about it?" Max challenged.

In response, the branches at the trees' sides separated and pulled down two apples from their foliage, "We're gonna pelt you with apples! See how you like it!"

Neil raised an eyebrow, "So… you're gonna keep your apples… by throwing them away…?"

The two trees looked at one another frowning dejectedly at his iron-clad logic. Max scoffed, "Yeah, whatever." And he climbed up the bark, using the trees' mouth as a foothold, causing it to grumble as he took a couple apples from both trees for the trouble they caused.

Pockets stuffed with produce, he waved goodbye to the fuming and grumbling trees behind them, crunching on a somewhat ill-begotten apple.

After a few miles, Max finished his latest apple and tossed the core into a nearby bush.

"AHHHH! Foreign contaminant obscuring vision!"

They shouted in alarm as a small figure erupted from the bush with apple mush all over a glass dome on its head. The figure flailed aimlessly around the trail before bashing face-first into a tree and knocking itself backwards.

When it didn't get back up, Max and Neil shared a glance and walked up to it.

"Uh, you okay?" Neil questioned.

"Never better!" the voice chirped, muffled and echoed from inside the dome.

Neil tore off a spare piece of scrap from his baggy scarecrow clothes, "Here, let me help you out."

He slowly wiped away the white mush on the figure's face-

"Thank you, friend!"

"AIEEE!"

Neil shrieked and jumped away from the figure.

"Neil, what's wro- OH, JESUS H. CHRIST!"

Max and Neil stared in stunned horror at the figure they'd just helped. It was a kid about their age (or Neil's appearance-age) in a white sealed suit that looked clunky and clumsy. But above it was a glass dome/helmet containing the face.

The... dismembered… bits of face…

The figure inside had a pair of upper and lower dentures floating in mid-air with pearly-white teeth clashing. A detached slimy, slug-like red tongue was floating behind them. A couple detached ears drifted around aimlessly, taking in sounds on all sides.

And a pair of wide, hazel eyes staring back at them, optic nerves drifting into nothingness.

"Hello, I'm Neil, but everyone calls me Space Kid." The figure chirped happily, completely ignoring the bloodless faces of the other two.

"Uh, you… I mean… face." Max stumbled confuzzled.

"Yeah, I know," Space Kid replied, "My mom always said I have a face for Television. I don't mind you staring." If dismembered dentures could, his would be beaming.

Neil leaned in close to Max, "Yeah, a face for a horror flick."

"So, where are you guys going." Space Kid asked, his two eyes splitting apart to stare at both of them simultaneously.

"W-we're going to the W-Wizard." Neil stammered.

"The Wizard?!" The eyes bugged out and did a happy flip in the confines of the helmet. "Take me with you! Please?!"

"Oh, did you wanna wish for something, too?" Max ventured, leaning away from the probing eyeball.

"Yep. I bet you can guess, huh? Give you a hint; it rhymes with 'place'."

"Uh, You want to ask for a normal fac-"

"I WANNA GO TO SPAAAACE!" He screamed excitedly. "I wanna see the Milk-and-Cookie Way! Take samples of Gallifreyan soil and try Moon Cheese!"

"You're shitting me." Max deadpanned.

Neil poked his shoulder confusedly. "What're you talking about Max? It's a scientific fact that the moon is made of cheese."

"…F*ck everything." Max grumbled. "And f*ck Gwen's stupid British show."

He re-addressed Space Kid, "So, you want to go to space? Anything… else that comes to mind?"

"Nope!"

"Anything more, I dunno, personal or aesthetic?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Seriously, nothing?"

"Not-a-thing! So, can I go or what?" The small figure hopped in place excitedly like a puppy.

Eventually, Max sighed exhausted, "Okay, fine."

"YES! Oh, oh, wait! I gotta sing my song first!"

"Of f*cking course." Max growled.

The sounds of the forest went silent as all attention drew to Space Kid. He started to sing as a simultaneous accompaniment of a horn sounded. (2001 Space Odyssey Song).

"SPAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

"TO SPAAAAAAAAAACE"

*dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum* [he banged his helmet, producing a hollow drum-sound]

"SPAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

"TO SPAAAAAAAAAACE!"

*dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum*

"SPAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

"TO-SPAAAAAAAAAACE"

"SPACE-SPACE-SPAAACE. SPAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

Max suddenly found himself caught up in a surrounding illusion that they were floating in the depths of space. The sun dawned over the top of planet earth and the inky blackness was erupting with stars and galaxies.

The orchestra kept playing, but Space Kid's speech had devolved into blubbering, "Oh, oh, it's so beautiful. Ohhhh! Space! Gotta get to spaaace!"

He picked back up with the last three notes.

"SPAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAACE. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

He stopped singing as the sun eclipsed behind the earth with the fading sound of an organ.

The blackness around them split open and they found themselves back in the forest of Oz.

"So, can I come with?" Space Kid asked.

Neil was staring ahead, dazed, "W-what the H-Hell. D-did that just-?"

"Yeah, c'mon Neil." Max groused, pulling his arm as the dismembered head-in-a-bowl toddled after them.

AN: Happy New Year!

-Crow