AN: Short, but the last chapter. It's been fun!
Sorry it took so long between uploads, but you'll see why there's a double-update today!
-Crow
…
…x
"-ax?"
"He's… -ing up…"
"Max? Can you hear us, Max?"
The kid in question groaned as his senses returned to him. He opened his eyes and saw blurred images of people crowding around him. "Wha-?"
"Take it easy, Max, okay? You hit your head pretty hard-."
"OHMYGOSH! IS HE OKAY?! DID HIS BRAINS BURST OUT LIKE ROTTEN ORANGE?! IS HE GONNA NEED EXPERIMENTAL SURGERY?! NEIL, GET THE FRANKENSTEIN-SET FROM PRESTON'S PLAY, A PICKLE JAR, AND PEANUT BUTTER! LOTS OF PEANUT BUTTER!"
"NIKKI, I TOLD YOU TO WAIT OUTSIDE!" Gwen's voice shouted back.
Max winced at the volume and he heard David hush the others as he blinked rapidly to regain focus. He was in a log cabin… not a chartreuse building or some forest clearing or (god forbid) a 'salmon-pink' hospital wing. He could see a familiar floof of red hair before-
"Max?!"
Nikki- definitely human Nikki- sprang into his field of vision, blocking everything else. "Are you alive? Are you a zombie? How many fingers am I holding up?"
She slammed her palms into his eyes and Max couldn't make out a single digit with her jamming her palms in his cornea. He sighed.
"Eleventy-f*cking-twelve." He snarked.
"OH, GOD! HE LOST HIS MIND!" Nikki wailed dramatically, falling to the side. David shook his head as he rummaged through a red first-aid kit by his side.
Max winced as another brief stab of pain hit his head and he reached up to feel a crown of bandages tightly circling around his forehead.
He barely could process what was happening before David started shining a light in his eyes and using the various tools to check over his head and reflexes. After a second, he spoke, "Well, it doesn't seem like you have a concussion, but we should keep an eye on you. You did black out, after all."
"Waitwaitwait, what happened? Is this from that tornado?" Max interrupted.
"Tornado?" David asked, glancing at Gwen, "What tornado?"
"'What tornado'? The f*cking tornado that tore a hole through the entire f*cking camp. The tornado that ripped out the f*cking Mess Hall? The tornado that demolished… the… cabins…" He trailed off as he found the loophole in his thought process. Namely, that he was laying inside one of the supposedly destroyed cabins.
David smiled brightly, "Well Max, you'll be happy to know that Camp Campbell is still in tip-top shape! All buildings are accounted-for and intact."
"Wait! B-but I- What happened?!" Max was getting a headache trying to figure it out.
David looked away hesitantly, "Welllllllll…"
"Behold, as I, Harrison the Amazing perform a feat never-before seen!" The junior magician announced from the shared Camp Stage. "I will need a volunteer from the audience!"
"10 bucks says he tanks it." Nikki whispered to Neil.
"Yeah, no bet." Max replied, leaning back on his stump seat.
"No volunteers?" Harrison blatantly ignored Space Kid's eager wide-eyed hand-waving, preferring instead to stick to a pre-planned routine. "Then, I shall allow magic itself to choose!"
The audience of campers (and David and Gwen) watched with baited breath (and Gwen with an emergency fire extinguisher) as Harrison put his fingers to his head in concentration.
"Oh, great powers bestowed upon me! I ask that you find a suitable candidate!"
They shuffled as the choosing sequence became long and drawn out. Max huffed and felt around his seat, just in case.
His hand brushed something that felt like a rocket-
"Bwaaaah!"
"We have our volunteer!"
The audience turned and saw David shrieking as a small sparkler set erupted around his seat. As part of it, they gave light applause at the spectacle. David grinned and made to get up.
"No! No! Wait! Not while the rockets are-" Harrison tried, but it was too late.
The firework rockets attached to David's seat were still going and, without the adult's weight on top, launched the lawnchair across the clearing. It banged into several props and camp-tivities like a pinball before whizzing its way back into the audience area.
"Max look out!"
Max belatedly realized the rocket-powered chair was aimed right for him. He felt it punch him in the gut and scoop his tiny body weight up. The chair dipped wildly with the addition, but didn't slow down. He yelled in alarm as the chair dipped lower and lower-
*thwap!*
The lowered tip of the chair caught a rock in the ground.
The chair launched Max out of it and straight into Space Camp. He caught the wires of one of Space Kid's homemade G-Force machines (read "crappy swing-set"). He spun around and the world blurred into a mix of colors. Then, one of the cables snapped and he was hurtled into a parabolic arc-
Straight at Preston's props.
He tried raising his arms in time, but his head was going straight for the wooden backdrops of-
*crack!*
And it all…
Faded…
To… black…
"MAAAAAAX! Max are you alright?!"
"Oh, Jesus Christ! I'm so getting fired for this!"
"I found him! He's out cold! Oh my God, I see blood!"
"Help me move him!"
"…"
"It's honestly a miracle you got off as light as you did," Gwen offered.
Max shook his head (painfully, he realized) and glared, "I oughta sue the shit out of this place."
He huffed as Gwen and David exchanged nervous glances at each other. "Fine, at least I'm alive, so that's something I guess. Just tell me; there was no tornado?"
"Nope."
"A-and Campbell hasn't… shown up, right?"
"Uh, as far as we know he's still in Super Guantanamo," David replied, a little sadly.
Max sighed in relief, "…And Daniel's still…"
"Oh, poor Daniel, he's still at Sleepy Peak General. They said he's healed fine physically (aside from something about milk), but they said he needed therapy for something in the mental ward. Gosh, I had no idea, but I'm sure glad he got the help he needed." David gushed.
The boy groaned, face-palming, "You're an idiot, David." He looked up, "So… I've been here this entire time?"
"From when we picked you out of Preston's stuff to here. You've been out for an hour." Gwen answered.
"Thank f*cking God," Max groaned, easing back into his pillow. "I'm not sure if I can deal with a place like that existing in real life."
"Must've been one f*cked up dream, huh?" Gwen assured him.
A dream?
It seemed so vividly real, though a lot didn't exactly make sense. For one, how did he swap narrative and know what Dark Lord Daniel was doing when he was miles way? For another, how could he walk for miles on-end and the day end only at the bonfire?
It wasn't real.
A part of him was glad. It meant that there was no feasible way in this universe that two Davids could ever co-exist.
On the other hand…
…
He discretely wiggled his butt.
Yep.
The tail was gone. Dammit. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Even if it was never real in the first place.
Gwen stood up from the chair against the wall, "C'mon, David, let's let him get some rest."
"You're right, Gwen." David sighed. "But he'll miss today's camp activity."
Max brightened. Maybe there was a bright side to this whole nearly-concussed thing.
"Oh, I know!" He exclaimed, "I'll rearrange the schedule and include Max in some of them! He can't participate in some of the more strenuous activities for a while, but by golly he can still have a great time here at Camp Campbell! I can even arrange some specialty camp activities just for you while you recover right here!"
"Go to Hell, camp-man!"
David smiled calmly and got up with Gwen to leave Max to the peaceful quiet of the medical cabin. He could hear his fellow campers cheering at what was likely news of him waking up.
Max waited a few minutes until the chaos sounded far enough away before hopping out of the bed. He had to steady himself against the bedpost while his head swam a little, but he felt confident enough to move around.
He exited the cabin and scurried over towards the Mess Hall, where he could hear David excitedly telling everyone the news that he woke up and the plan since he'd be 'out of commission' for a while.
Max snorted. He didn't care as long as he wasn't dragged into another one of the shitty camp-tivities.
He watched the crowd disperse, content to go through their day.
He sighed as he watched David and Gwen slowly ambling in the direction of the cabins. He'd bet he had two minutes tops before they caught wind of him leaving.
In the meantime…
…
He let out another sigh, but this one less… exasperated.
…
…
"Hmm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm…" He hummed a familiar tune oh-so-quietly under his breath. Stupid, f*cking song was stuck in his head. It didn't even happen in real life and he's still plagued by it. Stupid concussion probably makes sure he can't get it out.
He looked around. Neil (the real Neil) was busy looking through medical books. Probably researching into a frenzy over how to help Max recover. Nikki (the real Nikki) was bouncing around from the trees. Almost like the human version was the disguise for the chimera version.
Nerris and Harrison were up to their usual arguments.
Nurf was picking on Space Kid who obliviously grinned at the 'upside-down gravity-reversal simulation' or whatever he'd think being picked-up by the ankle could possibly be.
Quartermaster walked by with a suspicious mopping bucket in hand labeled "Witch Gunk" on the side, stepping into his little shed with a distrusting huff at those around him.
In the distance, he heard Gwen roar his name in anger and David crying out in panic.
He snorted, hands in his pockets as he sauntered his way back to the cabins, singing quietly;
…
"Camp Campbell is the place for me and… you~."
AN: And now, I'd like to close this with a quote from a noble soul involved in the making of Camp Camp.
"WHY IS THERE A PUMA HERE!? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE GEOGRAPHICALLY!" -Miles Luna, 10 Little Roosters (Episode 7)
AN: Okay, that concludes our little 'fluffy' ending. Thank you all for reading.
By the way, the next chapter isn't technically 'canon' but isn't actually not canon either. They're alternate endings I thought over, but didn't have the heart to leave out completely. So please enjoy!
-Crow
P.S. Here are some of the cameos, inspirations, and fandom references I snuck in throughout the series. I don't think I even caught them all myself! How many did you spot?
-Red vs. Blue moment; Puma v. Warthog
-Phineas and Ferb; Where's Perry?
-Lilliputs: after the land of the Lilliputians from Gulliver's Travels
-RWBY; Ozpin and Beacon and the Grimmlands
-RWBY; badass Monkey Tail
-Over the Garden Wall; subtle; Into the Unknown
-Portal; Neil's song
-2001 Space Odyssey; Space Kid
-Cthulhu; Eldritch God of Madness and Destruction courtesy of H.P. Lovecraft
-Markiplier; Mark, the King of the Squirrels
-Billy's monologue; Totally Zuko from Avatar with subtle references to the Water Tribes, the Air Temples, the Fire Nation, and the Earth Kingdom
-Billy being taken; Metal Gear Solid reference
-Red Dust Arrow; RWBY inspired
Admittedly, the first time wishing for the Monkey Tail was purely because Max is voiced by Michael Jones who voiced Sun Wu Kong, the monkey faunus, in RWBY, but at the end it was kind of a last-minute add-in that I smiled at and decided to keep.