Chapter Sixty-Two: Leaving

I wake with a start and immediately know something is wrong. Hawke's body heat is missing from behind me and when I reach out to find him, he's gone. I sit up and grab my staff, still within arm's reach, and summon the wisp. My barrier over the door is still in place, but there's no Hawke. He couldn't have gotten out through the rock wall...where is he? A sinking feeling settles into my chest just as the laughter starts.

"What did you do with him?!" I shout.

The laughter subsides and the echoes die out. No, no, no, he wasn't an illusion, I'd know it. Don't let that thing get to you. Hawke was really here, I just have to find him. I pull the barrier down, taking all of it, the sand from outside Adamant, the rock and mud from the swamps of the Fade, and cloak myself in Rock Armor again. I realize I'm going to have to venture back outside, a prospect that is far less appealing after remembering the monstrous arachnoid form of the nightmare demon. But I don't have a choice. I decided before I came here that I was bringing Garrett home, one way or another.

I peer cautiously out from behind the waterfall, but the area outside the cave is deserted. I remember Hawke's assertion that the demon was afraid of me. Maybe it's true. I certainly hope so. My first few steps are hesitant, but before long I'm slogging through the swamp again, the accumulating muck on my boots making each footfall a little harder than the last. It's with relief that I finally climb more stairs, away from the soggy landscape below.

The sound of fighting reaches my ears and I look into the distance to try to find the source. I see the top of the hulking body of the Nightmare, attacking...something. There's only one "something" I can think of that it would bother going after, and that thought is enough to spur me into action. I'm coming, Hawke.

I grip my staff tightly in one hand and run toward the sound of spells hitting flesh, and the cries of the beast. I can tell they're just up ahead, around a wall of rock. Finally, I reach the end of the wall and turn to take in the scene before me. Hawke is battling the Nightmare alone. Thankfully, none of its smaller spider minions are present, but I know there's no way Hawke is going to win this fight all by himself.

Pure instinct rises up in me. Anger, indignation that this...mere spirit would dare hurt my friend. I feel the rage rising up within me. Toth takes notice, but remains steady. Yes, my friend, I think it's time for a little fire.

The blast of flame bursts out of my staff with a fury, singeing the moist underbelly of the Nightmare. It screeches, rearing back up on its hind legs. When it descends, it doesn't turn to look at me as I had expected. In a split-second that makes my heart nearly stop, it pounces on top of Garrett in a sickening motion, fangs extended, and I see red.

My voice rips out of my throat, but I'm glad to hear it's still just mine. "Oh keeper of the smoke and flame, burn all before me in your name." Death. Death to the Nightmare.

Fire rises like a wave and rushes toward the demon, glowing blue in its intensity. It crests and crashes into the massive body, igniting the creature. The Nightmare jerks and spasms, ineffectually attempting to pat out the flames. It gives up after a few seconds and runs, skittering into the distance, covering ground quickly on its towering legs.

I immediately race to Hawke's side and examine his wounds. The flames hadn't touched his flesh, but there are two large puncture wounds in his chest that are slowly oozing dark red and black fluid. No, no, he's poisoned. I know my expression must be telling him my thoughts because he smiles. "It's going to be alright, Ferox."

"The Void it is!" I scream in protest. "I...I can't even heal you like this, it would just close the poison inside. I don't know what to do, Garrett…" Tears are already forming in my eyes, and I reach out to hold his hand in a sign of silent support. Then it hits me: I know someone who can help, we just need to get to him. "Lucis will know what to do. We just need to get to the Black City."

"Now I know I'm hallucinating. I thought you just said you want to go to the Black City...you know, where the Maker lives." He chuckles, but the sound cuts off in a wet cough. I'm horrified to see the dark stain on his hand when the coughing subsides. Hawke is going to die if I don't do something. I look up at the Black City, the place I have lived for most of my long life. We have defenses, traps on the outside, both magical and mundane. They are meant to keep out any others who try to invade.

I look down at my ring, shining where it rests against Hawke's hand. "It's not yet time, but maybe we should risk it."

"No," he mutters, but again trails off, coughing.

"Get to your feet, Garrett, I'm getting you out of here," I command, and attempt to get an arm underneath him to help lift. Of course, he's substantially larger than I am, so he ends up mostly draped across my back by the time we get him upright.

"Ferox, just leave me. We're never going to make it. Go back, tell Varric...tell him…" His weight gets heavier, and I feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest in desperation.

"No," I choke out in protest. "You don't get to die on me. I'm going to get you help…"

I touch the ring, ready to leave when a voice stops me.

"Ferox, don't!" Garrett calls and I look up to see him standing a few dozen feet away. That doesn't make any sense, I can still feel his weight on my…

"Shit!" I yell, dropping the giant spider I had draped across my shoulders. It hisses, and raises up on its back legs, spitting venom at me, but I thankfully am able to dodge while the real Hawke hits it with an ice spell. A well-placed kick from my boot shatters the horrid thing, and I'm left panting, out of breath.

"Garrett…" I start, looking at him. "That thing was you. You were dying and I couldn't save you."

"It's alright now, Dragon Girl. We got it."

I eye him suspiciously. What if this is another trick from the Nightmare?

My confusion registers with him and he smiles. "I could ask the same of you, but okay, I'll bite. I made you a promise before we fell asleep. One I intend to keep."

My relief is immediate, and I run to him, grabbing his hand. "I'm getting us out of here, Garrett. I'm not going through that again."

"Wait, you can't use the ring, right? I thought you had a backup plan," he reminds me.

I sigh. "I don't think it will work."

"Tell me what it is, at least."

I wring my hands. "I was going to take you back home with me. To my home that is, where Etiam and Lucis are."

"Without the ring, how were you expecting to get there?" he questions, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Walk?" I offer vaguely.

"From the Fade? Ferox, you're not making any sense."

"Garrett...I-" I take a deep breath. "I live in the Black City."

He bursts into laughter, until he sees that my expression doesn't change. "You're joking, right? Tell me you're joking, Ferox."

I shake my head. "It's where I've lived for the last thousand years."

"But that's the seat of the Maker himself! That's impossible."

I shrug, breaking eye contact. "It won't be easy getting in. We implemented formidable defenses after the magisters attacked."

"Magisters...we...Ferox are you saying you know the Maker?"

"I should hope so; we were only born a few minutes apart."

Hawke is quiet, stunned into silence. After a minute he shakes his head, but says nothing as his breathing quickens, and he sits down hard on the ground.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"No, I'm not," he answers, shock still evident on his face. "I want to say you're lying, but you don't lie about this stuff. I met the fucking Maker and didn't know it. And I'm suddenly very happy that you picked Varric and not me." He's thoughtful for a few minutes. "Then Corypheus…"

"Was one of the magisters who attacked the Golden City, yes. But he shouldn't have the kind of power that he does."

"...and the Blight?" he asks, horrified.

I sigh. "Partially our fault, but it was never intended to go on as long as it has. The darkspawn would have died out a few decades after it started, but our generals were trapped by the elven pantheon."

"By Fen'Harel. I know the damned story, Ferox...shit, I wish I didn't know this."

"I'm the same person you've known all along. You knew I was a goddess; nothing has changed."

He winces. "My best friend is sleeping with the Maker's twin sister."

"Your best friend is marrying her," I correct, indignant. "I love him."

"Sorry, Ferox," he says, swallowing. "I didn't mean anything by it. He loves you, too; everyone can see that."

"Garrett, we need to move," I tell him, watching behind him.

"Does Varric know?" he asked, unperturbed.

It isn't until I pull my staff and brandish it that that he understands and gets to his feet. The Nightmare is coming, and it is not alone. A sea of spiders, a hundred thick at least, rises over the closest hill, and my heart plummets. We can't possibly fight them all.

"There's no time, Garrett. We have to use the ring, risk or no risk. We'll never get to the Black City in time. If I'm using it anyway, I might as take us back to Adamant."

I allow my Rock Armor to drop.

"What are you doing?" he asks, scowling now.

"Something impulsive, of course. Now hold onto me, you idiot," I instruct him.

He steps forward, making contact with me, and I pull the Rock Armor back, like a shield around both of us. The material is partly of the Fade, and partly of the real world. I'm hoping it's enough to protect us from whatever is about to happen from using the ring a fifth time.

"I'm sorry, Garrett, this is probably going to hurt, and I have no idea if it will work."

"Better than being eaten by spiders," he nervously jokes, looking down into my eyes. I twist the ring, summoning the travel magic. The world blurs.

The pain is immediate as soon as we arrive. Hawke's frame seems to grow as I collapse, the sand and mud falling away from both of us. I scream. Toth screams.