Behind Black Curtains
An AU, Sephiroth and Tifa fanfiction
-by Amaranthos-
Chapter 16: Preparations
He haunted me with passion, a passion that resembled my certain demise. In all my dizziness as it captures me, I can not find my mouth to arch a single murmur at such my disbelief;
And I know I have felt a presence and how it disturbs me with no kindle of joy, only of elevated thoughts of a sense of recompense of falling into something so confusedly, so completely and deeply leaves me so destroyed…
His movement enthralls me…
Such a gruff man can make such gentle strides almost like a soft wind blowing on a summer's day.
But his ageing vanity is present in his greatness and he knows of his greatness.
I see myself in this infection called attraction and what a fatal one I fear it is. What a scandal it is in my life to have an attraction to the great General Sephiroth.
Awaking on my side, I fear I lose all sleep. Revelations like these bleed too much life, too much thought.
You don't sleep…
So it puts me now in a confused manner to ask, to blatant obvious what exactly am I upset about. Did I lose you to now discontentedly learn perhaps a small part of me has been attracted to you? When did I grow so bend to not know the things that happened to me? I don't want to know how you did it Sephiroth…
I just fear that I allowed you into myself without realizing how far I allowed you in. Too deep. I've felt this before, I've felt love, I've remembered it's taste and though I know I do not love you… I know I do miss you…but how much, I don't know, to say why, I can not, but how… I'm in absolute confusion.
It was imprinted at the beginning, you were the mad man, I was the good woman, and our fates crossed and instead of allowing myself to walk forward, you seduced me with your charms, and the dark things you could whisper in my ear. You allowed me to drift just so much, to see a path beyond my naïve one and though it's made me stronger and all grown up. The feelings you've left me with, has scattered my mind leaving me…terribly hollow…
And I curse you, you dead bastard. Rotten in the soiling ground, there you are. And now your filthy words you spat at me, can not hurt me, but your memories live like day inside of me. And I wish you knew…I wish you knew how much of a bastard you are. You died, and you died all alone…
Sephiroth…
"Come back…"
Around 12 o' clock that afternoon, Tifa's doors were swung open to the sight of Rufus Shinra and some five maids with various clothing materials. Some carried large spools of cloth, and others carried a sewing machine with measuring tapes about them.
"Tifa, my dear how have you been?" Rufus asked, seeing the young woman lying on the couch with a forlorn expression.
"Brooding about going home again, are we?" he asked…
Tifa didn't know what she was brooding over. She nodded silently.
"Cheer up I have good news for you. I'm having a ball very soon as a victory that we've won the battle against Mack Knights. I'm quite happy with the results seeing this battle took particularly long" he paused.
"I know what will cheer you up. Some new clothes. I heard women enjoy getting into new clothes and that's exactly the opportunity I want you to have. These maids will take your measurements and design a dress which I've decided will be a secret from even you. On the night of the ball, you'll be amazing… so for now my dear, I leave you with the best in the business… ladies" he ushered them to Tifa.
Tifa sighed. She couldn't get peace in this place without someone knocking or bursting through her door. Tifa stood up and approached the women.
They swarmed her and began taking her measurements in a very detailed manner. They even drew patterns in her room saying they were really pressed for time. After some 30 minutes of the checking of everything, they left Tifa who sat by the fireplace extremely tired for some strange reason.
A small knock came to the door and exasperated Tifa shouted, "yess?"
It was Yuffie.
"I know you're not in the talking mood, but I need to talk to you" she spoke.
Tifa sighs, "come on in…"
Yuffie took a seat opposite of Tifa. "I wanted to talk to you about yesterday"
Immediately Tifa turned to her side and refused to look at Yuffie.
"What about?" Tifa asked.
"Yesterday when I mentioned that Sephiroth could be dead you were all in a frenzy. Are you okay?" she asked.
"What and why does it matter?" Tifa sighs…
"Because I'm your nurse, Tifa. I need to keep checking on you to develop reports for the council. But just off the record, it's like you threw a fit when I mentioned Sephiroth. Are you okay, I'm worried Tifa" she spoke softly.
Tifa closed her eyes; what was the point she kept it all in. He was dead anyways.
"Did you like him, Tifa?" Yuffie's words then came like a thunderbolt. And for the first time it sounded so exceptionally foreign on someone's tongue.
Tifa turned to Yuffie and gave a confused and pathetic expression.
"I don't know." Tifa stared off, "I feel as if someone has taken something from me and how lost I feel without it. To say definitely I like Sephiroth, still worries me. I'm not sure Yuffie…" she paused.
"A month ago I was a raving person belting on how I despised Sephiroth. Wishing, praying he'd get beaten up to some point. But now, having it wished and charmed on him, it makes me feel, so horrible. Thing is, I don't know when I allowed myself to get this close to Sephiroth, or rather what magic he hexed me with…" Tifa sighed.
"You like him…" Yuffie said definitely.
"I-I d-don't think we should gravitate to saying that so-so, permanently" Tifa spoke.
"Tifa" she smiled and then gave a small laugh, "you like him…"
"How do you know?"
"If you've forgotten, I did tell you I was once in love. I felt almost the same way for Vincent. The thing about it, is that I only learned that I loved him when he was gone… too far I could not follow" she saddens
"But we're opposite worlds, Yuffie. I'm the daughter of Arthur Lockhart, future heir to Red Hearts. He's the right hand man of Velrog Shinra of Black Crescents. We can't entangle. We can't like each other. That's forbidden for people like us. He's the black glove and I'm the white snowflake that fell into his dark pool, only to be consumed. I'm not one of those women who lust men, or even fool myself into infatuation… but I know Yuffie, that whatever he's done to me… its absolute…" Tifa bites her lips in worry.
"Do you hear yourself?" Yuffie stood up, "so what that you're the daughter and future heir of Red Hearts, thing is Tifa can you really stop what you feel especially if it's as strong as you say it is. As you've said, its absolute – that magic he's casted on you… there's a word for that and it's not magic Tifa. I think you should start by admitting what it really is, and maybe then you'll exactly know what to do…" she explains
"But we can't feel that. We're Ying and Yang…" Tifa spoke…
"Yes, but it takes dark to make light and light to make dark… and so, from your own analogy… it should show you, even darkness like Sephiroth could make light and spark something so amazing like heart-warming emotions and you a woman who sows light can welcome the darkness and enjoy in its delightful and unexpected comfort." She paused, "it's not a mystery or a forbidden law to say you can't like him… but of course that remains entirely up to you…"
Tifa sighs… 'up to me…'
To be continued…