Stuart sighed, pushing a trolley down the aisle. Eight o'clock. The usual time for his weekly morning shop. Yet another rather human thing, he noted.
After placing Shredded Wheat in his trolley, he headed for the checkout.
A youthful looking female employee greeted him, scanning his items.
He moved up to the till's end to pay, reaching for his wallet.
'I'm sorry I left you that way, Stuart.'
Stuart looked up.
The youthful female was replaced by a familiar older one - looking like half of her brain needed scooped back in.
'So, six floors wasn't enough, then,' he replied.
Andrea smiled.
'Your sense of humour was never amiss.'
Stuart stared at her.
'Is that Andrea, or whatever the hell you are, talking?'
That familiar malicious smile returned, persevering long enough to make Stuart uneasy.
'£33.90, sir.'
Stuart stood outside 13 Bannerman Road. Perhaps Sarah Jane could help him to find out what this...madness was. No car - maybe she wasn't in? He rang the doorbell, and was greeted by Sarah Jane as the door opened.
Stuart and Sarah Jane sat in her attic, with Sarah Jane at her computer.
'No car?'
'Oh no, Rani's just borrowing it. Getting a bit of practice.'
Stuart nodded.
'I...need to talk. About Andrea.'
'Why?' Sarah Jane said, her tone razor sharp.
Stuart stuttered a little.
'Something's been messing with my head, ever since our-'
'You killed her. Made her jump off that rooftop.'
'It wasn't really her! You know that!'
Sarah Jane's expression was akin to that of a snarling lion.
'Andrea isn't dead.'
A quiet rage simmered in Sarah Jane's eyes.
'Get out.'
'She isn't-'
'Get out!'
Stuart looked at her, head bowed, then left.
As Stuart exited the front door, Sarah Jane's car pulled up, and she climbed out.
Stuart froze.
'Oh no, you don't,' he said, striding over to her.
'What-'
'You can't be in two places at once.'
Sarah Jane blinked.
'Stuart, what are you-'
He hushed her.
'I don't know what has been going on...but ever since I met Andrea, I'm sure I'm top of the loony bin's waiting list.'
He turned to the house.
'Something's...been impersonating your dead friend, and I think...it just did the same with you in there.'
'And what do you suggest we do?'
'Find it,' Stuart said.
Sarah Jane looked at him, uncertain.
'You sure?'
Stuart nodded, and they headed into the house.
Without so much as a second thought, Stuart strode up the stairs and to the attic, Sarah Jane not far behind. Time to find out the truth about this once and for all, Stuart thought.
Stuart opened the attic door to see...Andrea, still with half her head missing.
Sarah Jane grimaced.
Stuart stared long and hard at her.
'The thing...the creature of a thousand riddles,' he said. 'I'm only going to ask you once. Why? Why me? Why someone's dead friend, for God's sake?'
'The Velvox have vulnerable minds, Mr Milligan.'
Once again, it was the man's voice, but Andrea's body.
'Yours is deliciously impuissant.'
Stuart studied her.
'Does that hurt?' he asked. 'Impersonating such a grave wound, as well as Andrea?'
Andrea smiled.
'You, yes.'
Stuart stared, subconsciously mouthing 'what?'.
'1001 riddles, now, Stuart,' Sarah Jane said.
Stuart turned to her.
A scaly brown figure stood before him. He turned to where Andrea stood - or was standing. An identical figure was in her place.
'Of course there's two of you,' Stuart snarked. 'Have you been here all along?'
'Yes.'
'No.'
Stuart looked between the two, sighing.
'Why?'
The one previously disguised as Andrea stepped forward.
'It was enchanting, witnessing your devotion to something that never was there. The humans would call you an easy target.'
'I know. Soft touch Stuart, that's me.'
The figure behind him chuckled.
'You claim not to comprehend love. Yet, you remain incomplete without Andrea.'
Stuart looked at it.
'Yeah, I miss her. Ray of sunshine, she was.'
He sniffed. 'But, like you said, she was never here. I can cope with that.'
'You're alone. You're unable.'
'Am I?'
Andrea stood before him again.
'You let me fall.'
Stuart turned to her, his lip trembling.
'I didn't get a chance to-'
'You may as well have killed me yourself.'
'You know I would never do that.'
It returned to its true form.
'Your sentimentality is showing, Mr Milligan.'
'Good,' said Stuart. 'Don't stand too close, or you might catch it, eh?'
The figure studied him.
'We are impervious,' it intoned, it's hand morphing into a long blade.
'Ah,' Stuart said.
The figure lunged.
Stuart ducked.
The blade thrust into - Andrea?
She cried out, falling to the floor.
Stuart stared at her.
It was another game, he thought. She was hurt - no - they were trying to hurt him again - no - he should've been trying to save her.
Better approach her with caution, he thought.
Stuart knelt before her.
'You know I love you, don't you?' Andrea said.
'Straight from the mouth of a dead woman. How romantic.'
Andrea smiled and leaned in, pressing her lips against his.
She seemed tense, though. Almost as though-
'No!' he said, pulling away.
Andrea stood up with ease, as though the wounds had never been there, approaching Stuart.
The other figure smirked.
'Your poor brain must be fried.'
Stuart gave a bitter laugh.
'Tell me about it. Think I've got whiplash.'
Andrea looked at him.
'Stuart, I-'
'Not so fast!'
The three of them turned. Sarah Jane stood in the door, hands on hips.
'Mr Smith, I need you!'
The computer in the wall roared into life, complete with its usual fanfare.
'Oh,' Andrea sneered. 'The golden girl.'
The three of them watched as Sarah Jane moved to the back of the attic. Stuart watched warily.
'Mr Smith, these two, they're shapeshifters, correct?'
'Confirmed.'
'Seems they'd subjected both of us to an ordeal, Stuart in particular,' she said, glancing at him. She looked at the shapeshifters. 'There's only one solution for your type.'
Andrea glared at her.
'What? Death? Oh no, that's not how you work, is it?'
'Of course not,' Sarah Jane said.
She looked at Mr Smith.
'Mr Smith. Reverse-'
'Andrea,' Stuart said.
She looked at him.
'Didn't I tell you...I love you.'
His eyes began to well up.
Andrea smiled smugly.
'I know.'
Sarah Jane looked at Stuart.
He looked at Sarah Jane, then his eyes darted.
Sarah Jane looked between the three of them for a moment.
'Mr Smith. Reverse their teleport link.'
'Complying.'
A blinding blue light shrouded the shapeshifters, as they vanished.
Stuart looked at the floor. Sarah Jane looked at the grey-skinned man before her. The baggy eyes.
'I'm not even supposed to know what...love...is,' he said.
Sarah Jane stepped forward.
'Do you think you'll be all right?'
Stuart looked at her.
'I don't know.'
Sarah Jane turned to Mr Smith.
THUD!
She twisted round.
'Stuart?'
Sarah Jane rushed to the pale man sprawled across the floor.
'Stuart?'
The End