A/N: Um, leave me a review maybe? Thanks.

"Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies"

- Elizabeth Bowen

On one of their oddly timed video calls, Monica was hysterical. Spencer watched her with amusement. She wheezed, laughed.
"And then... and then guess which "award-winning botanist" sits in the... in the poison ivy? Gabriel Lawley... my coworker. Hahahahaha..."
Spencer's face fell.
"Did you say Gabriel?"
"Yeah", Monica was wiping her tears.
"What's that... that loser doing there?"
"Pardon your French", Monica laughed, "How did you know Gabe was a loser?"
"Gabe?"
"Yeah. We were friends when I was at Richmond. He's the one who recommended me to Mary Washington. You know him?"
"I met him that day on the campus. He told me he was your boyfriend"
Monica scoffed,
"He wishes. We have always been friends though. I wonder why he didn't tell me you guys met"
"Maybe he is subconsciously denying my existence"
"Slow down there, hondo. He's not an UnSub"
Spencer said,
"I don't like that guy"
"I don't like him that way either"
"Good"
"Wait a second", Monica gasped, "Are you jealous of Gabriel?"
"I am not"
"Well good, 'cause I'm not one of those people who thinks jealousy is cute. I'm your girlfriend and I am committed to you. It is expected of you to believe that"
"I didn't say otherwise", he shrugged.
"Besides, there are plenty of hot Australians around me..."
"Very funny, Monica. Laugh. You don't know what you look like under the sun"
"I look sweaty and messy! No one but you could find me attractive like that"
"Whatever"
She stopped giggling and matched his serious expression.
"All right, enough joking. How was work today? Did you identify the first victim?"
"Actually, Heather did", he said, "She's really good. We..."
"Heather as in the new agent on your team?"
"Yeah", he said innocently, "Agent Heather Roane"
"Is she blonde?"
"What?"
"Does she have blonde hair?"
"Yeah. Why do you want to know?"
"Yeah, you stay away from her"
He had to laugh.
"What are you talking about?"
Monica said,
"You have a thing for blondes"
"No, I don't"
"Yes, you do!"
"Wha... JJ's blonde. Garcia's blonde too"
"You did have a crush on Jennifer"
"That is... that's ridiculous!", he said, "You're not blonde!"
"I know. That's why it took me four months to seduce you"
"You didn't seduce me"
"I bumped into you in the library almost every other day? When we started talking, I brushed up on my knowledge of psychology to keep up with your conversations. I read up as much as I could?", Monica said, "Sweetheart, that was me seducing you"
"Really?"
"Yeah. That's why, maintain a safe distance from hot blondes. You're easy. A few well-placed anecdotes and you will let anyone on your good side"
"That's not true. Monica, I'm a profiler"
"Just don't go showing your dimples to blonde women. Simple as that. I trust you, but still"
He teased her,
"Jealousy - the green-eyed monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on"
"Don't you quote Willie to me, Mr. I-think-Shakespeare-is-overrated. I'm not jealous. Know what? Go kiss a blonde. I don't care. I trust you"
He grinned. Monica folded her arms over her chest.
"I wish I was kissing a brunette right now", he added for effect, "My brunette"
There was that coy smile he adored. Monica said,
"I would offer you phone sex but..."
She moved her laptop so it showed her roommate.
"Say hi to my boyfriend, Riley", Monica was heard saying.
Riley waved at him, said "Hi", and got back to her phone screen. Monica's face was on his computer screen again.
"I miss you", he admitted.
"I miss you too. I'm counting down the days"
"26 to go"
Monica smiled,
"Until I am with you and Bubbly again. How's he anyway?"
Spencer glanced at the droopy mass by his feet.
"He seems... alive. For now"
"Thanks for looking after him. Gosh, you have been so good to me lately, I'm gonna have to reward you"
The meaning of her words was lost on him.
"Just come back to me, safe and sound"
"You bet"