A/N: This is a whopper of a chapter in terms of word count (just that?). Gear up for some Spencer loving. I was giggling all the while I wrote that scene.
Much of my gratitude to the new followers, frequent readers, and the lovely Guest who took the time to review the last chapter. Let me know what y'all think of this one. Thanks in advance!

"She was ready to deny the existence of space and time rather than admit that love might not be eternal"

- Simone de Beauvoir"

"Granny, it's me - Monica", she said into the phone.
"Monica! Hello! My darling, how are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you and Grandpapa?"
"Quite well, dear. We were just sitting down to a game of chess. What time is it there?"
"It's about 8:00 AM. Granny... I need your help"
"What's the matter? Are you all right?"
"I am", Monica sounded weak, "Do you remember Beatrice? From my Security Service days?"
"Beatrice? Yes, yes, that loon who went rogue. What about her?"
"Granny, she is here", her voice broke, "In Virginia"
"Oh no"
"She killed some more people yesterday. And now she is after me. She's promised she'll find my loved ones and she's going to kill them all"
"But you can't let that happen!"
"I know. That's why I need your help. I need you to get everyone out of here. Mom, Dad, Audrey, Cathy, Max - all of them. George is in Botswana, and he will be there for another month. But the rest of them... please"
"Well, I... I'll see what I can do about it. How much time do you have?"
"I don't know"
"Then we will be quick. But what about you, love? You and your boyfriend?"
"I'll find an excuse to stay back. I don't want to let him out of my sight. If anything were to happen", she said, "I need to make sure I'm with him until the end"
"Don't you think you should tell him what is going on?"
Monica sobbed.
"I know"
"Now, darling, don't cry. You let Granny take care of everything. Do you need me to contact the agency?"
"Yes. Please"
"All right. But don't you cry anymore, muffin. You will need your wits about you now more than ever. Don't forget what you're fighting for"
"Yes, Granny"
"Cheer up now. You go home to your sweetheart and watch over him. Granny has your back"
"Thank you, Granny. I love you"
"I love you too, sweetpea"

Groggy from a lack of sleep, Spencer stood in Monica's bathroom, brushing his teeth. He had started to worry about her. It was almost 9:00 AM. She should have been back by now. Or called, at least.
'Maybe I should call George'
He supposed the number she had called him from, after losing her phone, might be her brother's. With that thought, Spencer put away his toothbrush and stepped out of her bathroom. He stopped in his tracks on hearing movement coming from the drawing room. Hoping to God it was Monica, he rushed to the room.

It was.
She was putting down a bag by the couch, watching his own placed in a corner. Monica turned to him. The moment their eyes met, he was filled with a staggering wave of relief. She was fine.
'Thank God'
"This is a nice surprise", she smiled.
He had her in his arms before she could blink. Monica gave a nervous laugh.
"You okay?"
He could feel her breasts pressed against his chest. Spencer pulled her even closer.
"I missed you"
"I missed you too", Monica said, "But you sure you're all right? You don't usually hug me first"
Oh, he needed to do more than that.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
Monica had a smile on her face and he stood gazing at it, mesmerised.
"I...", Spencer licked his lips, "I missed you really bad"
She laughed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Doc, it's only been four days"
"Felt like a lifetime"
His hands seemed to have a mind of their own. They caressed her face, tucked her hair back, helped her out of her jacket. Spencer's right hand glided up and down her waist. The fabric of her shirt got caught in his touch and bunched up. He let his hand slip lower against her bare skin. He sighed - Monica felt just as soft as ever. She twitched a little against his hand but he couldn't stop touching her.
Spencer stood there, trying to reign in his arousal.
"Hey. You know I'm ticklish there"
When he looked into her eyes, he wondered if self-control was a myth. How could he resist that tender look, those lips he knew to be sweet?
With his other hand, Spencer cupped Monica's face and leaned forth. Their noses slightly brushed against each other. Tentative, careful even, he kissed her.
It was the "I missed you" kiss, the "I am so glad you're back" kiss. Monica's lips against his felt right, supple... how he had missed that.
Spencer opened his eyes, pulling back from her a little. He nipped Monica's lower lip, kissing her again.
Touching his forehead to hers, he didn't care how desperate he sounded. It was a pleading whisper.
"I need you"
Hazel eyes searched green eyes for reluctance. But they were just full of love and wonder. Monica said,
"Really?"
Feeling impulsive, much unlike himself, Spencer took Monica by the hand and led her to the bedroom.

She didn't have a moment to speak again before he was on top of her, gentle yet determined. He kissed her as he always did, but it wasn't enough anymore. She could tell - he seemed to need more. Surprised, Monica grabbed the back of his head as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Her head fell back against the pillow as Spencer's kisses became more fervent. Monica's hands roamed down his back and pulled him close. He stopped kissing her mouth only to travel downwards. He unhooked her bra with practised ease and kissed what it revealed. Monica lay dumbstruck underneath him, stunned by the ferocity of his want. And all she could think as Spencer made her moan was -
'I won't let her get to you. I won't'

His mind was clouded with testosterone and pure desire. Spencer heard Monica gasp as his teeth scraped her nipples. Sucking on them, releasing them, his mouth kissed its way down to her navel. As if out of muscle memory, his hands undid her belt. Monica raised her hips and helped him take off the rest of her clothes.
Before being with her, he would have had a panic attack at a similar sight. But she had eased him into lovemaking - slowly, tenderly, and patiently. Those were feelings he wished to return.
He stroked her with his long slender fingers. Touching her there, it fuelled his arousal. He had read about some fingering techniques the night before while trying to cope with her being away. As he applied that knowledge, Monica shuddered. Spencer curved his finger and she grabbed his hand, panting.
"I need you inside me right now. Right now. Just..."
He discarded his robe as she tugged at his boxers. Spencer pulled them the rest of the way down, kicked them off his feet. Skin to skin, they revelled in the warmth. Monica put her arms around his neck. She looked so alluring he had to kiss her again. He spread her inner thighs, massaging them.
"Don't tease me", she breathed against his lips.
He was afraid he would... combust on contact. But he knew how to prolong biological functions. Monica lying naked underneath him just made things harder.
In a sure, swift stroke, he was inside her. She made a guttural noise that was music to his ears. Her hands were holding onto his back. Her legs were coiled around his hips. He gave one cautious thrust and Monica groaned his name.
"Spencer..."
'Oh dear god...'
It spurred him on. He moved, she quivered. It was one of his favourite sensations in the world, being inside Monica, feeling her tighten herself around him.
God damn it, she was exquisite.
"Spencer oh my g..."
The initial stirrings began and it felt good. So good he thought he would lose his mind. He groaned and gasped. Her name, her name.
"Monica..."
His body moved in a steady rhythm with hers. He strived with each movement of his body to show her how much he loved her, craved her. The universe was only two people in that moment - him and her.
Spencer almost howled when she came, pulsating around him. It didn't take more than her climactic outburst to make him come undone. Her name rose from his lungs and out of his lips. And in that moment of pure ecstasy, he was an explosion - a cosmic burst of stars, immortal.
He trembled, jerking forward. Monica pulled him closer as he spent himself inside her.
"Yes... stay. Mm"
Her fingers sifted through his hair. She held him until he collapsed on her chest, elated.

When the sun rose above Monica's bedroom window, it found them lying naked in bed together. Spencer was examining her breasts, playing.
"I know", she said, "The right one's a little smaller"
He kissed them in turn.
"They are perfect"
"You're perfect"
"I'm not"
"Oh yeah?"
Monica traced his jawline. She said,
"The fairest in all the land, one of the greatest minds in the world, a heart of gold, a will forged out of suffering, and can make even a revolver look sexy - that's pretty perfect to me"
Spencer smiled and drew symbols on her abdomen with his fingers. She was always a little poetic after sex.
"You didn't wait for me to shower. You used your tongue. You didn't even wait to put on a condom", she said.
"So?"
"Did something happen while I was away?"
His writings reached the underside of her breasts.
"Yeah", he said.
"What was it?"
"I realised you have turned me into a primate, a slave to his basic urges"
Under his fingers, her body shook just a bit with the little laugh.
"These 'basic urges' - did you think, for one second, that you could satisfy them without me?"
"No", he gave it a thought, "I had to have you. It was almost like a need"
"Then congratulations. You were just hot for your girlfriend. Nothing more"
He didn't know how to argue with that. Monica said,
"What are you writing?"
He smiled and his index finger kept moving along her ribcage.
"What, it's a secret?"
Spencer beamed.
"I just put a spell on you"
"What for?"
"Now you will never be able to spend the night away from me"
He finished drawing the last symbol and looked at her face. Monica's eyes were brimming with love.
"It's nothing short of torture for me", she said, "...to be away from you"
He hadn't realised she would take his joke so seriously. Holding her by the waist, Spencer said,
"Your brother needed you. I understand"
"I love you"
He gave her his boyish smile.
"I know"
He kept looking into her eyes, fascinated by how the flecks of amber in them formed a dazzling symmetry.
"How could someone like you love someone like me?"
"There's no one like you, Dr. Reid"
Monica's words touched his heart. As she watched him with longing, Spencer sensed he should try to uplift her serious mood.
"Rossi is excited about tonight. They all are. Tara even drew a psychological profile for you"
"What does it say?"
He gave a sheepish smile.
"It was a gag. She only wrote "crazy about Spencer Reid" on it"
Monica turned on her side and put her arm around him.
"Well, that part is certainly true"
"Do you know what you're going to wear?"
"For the dinner, or for when we go back to your place?"
He gave her a smirk, tweaking her nose.
"For dinner"
"I may have something in mind"

Spencer put a hand to his mouth, pinning his jaw in place. Monica gave him a 360° view by twirling. She looked just what he wanted his friends to see - fun, bright, smart, beautiful.
"Is it cool enough for the BAU?"
He nodded. The green dress reached her knees. She said,
"I matched it with your sweater vest"
"It's..."
He tried to come up with the perfect word. But "perfect" was the only word he could think of.
"You... you look..."
She smiled and reminded him.
"We have to leave now if we don't want to be late"
He seemed to recover.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'll, um, I'll start the car"
Spencer watched her grab the bottle of Chardonnay from her fridge and led the way out to her car.

Of all the days, he was paying attention to her every whim and fancy. The morning sex, the afternoon shopping, the evening spent getting ready - she could tell he was happy.
Spencer held her hand upon his lap as he drove. His hand was soft as ever, protective even. Monica watched him closely. She couldn't think of one moment throughout the day where she could have told him, come clean. All his smiles made her weak.
"You like this song, right?"
"Yes"
She had no idea what song Spencer was referring to. He turned up the volume and Madonna seemed to warn her through the radio -
"Say goodbye. Say goodbye. Sayyy goodbyyye"
Monica plastered a smile on her face anyway and hoped dinner would be over soon. Spencer deserved to know about the storm headed their way.

"Hi. I'm Monica. I'm sure he has told you nothing about me"
She was a pro. Reid was admiring Monica's social skills, standing by her side on Rossi's lawn. She charmed the profilers in a matter of minutes.
"I know my man has his quirks, but he can't be that bad"
Jokes were made, mostly about him. Monica knew when to join in the laughter and when to defend him. Stories were exchanged about the Boy Wonder aka Gorgeous Grey Matter. Food was shared. There were smiles all around.
"How did you manage to get this one away from his books?", Rossi asked Monica.
"What's wrong with books?"
"Wait. Now I see what happened here"
More laughter. Spencer mostly kept quiet, letting Monica handle the conversation. She didn't hog the spotlight though. He appreciated that.
"I'm sitting there, and he goes", she mimicked him, "You actually bought that thing?"
Luke said over the laughter,
"Hey, not cool, man"
Reid said,
"You haven't seen that dog"
"Excuse me? His name is Bubbly", Monica said.
The women "aww"d. Spencer shook his head. He watched Monica laugh along with his friends. It didn't matter if they were laughing at him. He was content, listening to the sound of pure happiness. Monica was the one who had brought that sound back into his life. For that - for her - he was grateful.

They decided on their way back home to spend the remainder of the night at her place. Full of good food and a little intoxicated, Spencer readily agreed. He intended to fall asleep with his head on her lap, watching the Cosmos rerun on TV.
"You have the coolest colleagues"
"I know", he said.
"Do you think they liked me?"
"What's there not to like?"
Smiling, she took his arm and they walked to her door. Spencer saw something weird on her doorstep.
"Hey, what's that?"
Monica peered at it. He knew her eyesight hadn't been the best lately without her glasses.
"It looks like a fake human ear"
He bent to pick it up. She warned him.
"Don't touch it"
"It's a gag..."
With an uncouth exclamation, he jumped back. The ear was real. It was sticky and elastic and... human.
"Monica, call 911. Monica?"
He turned to find her covering her mouth and fighting back tears. Spencer was upon her in an instant.
"It's okay. Don't look at it. Look at me"
"It's his"
"What?"
Monica whimpered,
"It's Lawrence's. She found me. Now she's going to find you"
"What are you talking about? Who?"
He had never seen her so scared. Her fear seemed to latch onto him.
"Monica, who are you talking about?"
She just stood there, looking as pale as death.

"My grandparents, the Flemings, worked as spies for the Crown during World War II. I was born in England, while my parents were going through a separation. I spent most of my summers there in Suffolk. When I was in my senior year at Oxford, I was meeting a friend, who worked for the GCHQ, and I got approached by MI5. It was quite the surprise. But I had my grandparents' blessing. My parents were back together and living in the States then, so they didn't really know where I worked. The official cover was that I worked as a secretary at the Ministry of Defence. I was trained in counterintelligence, espionage. I already spoke Russian and Welsh, thanks to my grandfather. The agency taught me Irish. I spent almost a year in the office before they put me out in the field. Most of my work was about gathering intelligence on disturbances in Northern Ireland, sometimes Wales or white supremacist groups in Britain.
I met Beatrice for the first time during a mission briefing. It was for a joint venture between MI5 and MI6. She was a decorated officer. Beautiful, sweet, charming - not just your average spy. She was everything the rest of us wanted to be. She specialised in terminating and neutralising potent threats. That's the official way of saying she was an assassin. And from what I heard, she never disappointed.
A few years later, I was stationed in Stockholm one summer. Me and my handler, Maya, we got news that Beatrice had killed one of her agency's psychologists and three MI6 officers. She had taken off with encrypted info about the agency's important assets. She would have spotted any of them from a mile away. But it was hoped that she wouldn't recognise anyone from MI5. I and two of my co-workers were part of the team trying to find Beatrice. Took us four months but we finally had a location. I was the one who called our MI6 teammate. They closed in. I arrogantly stayed behind to witness her arrest. But, Beatrice remembered me. She knew at once it was I who had alerted them of her location. She promised to meet me again to get even. I didn't put much store by it, confident as I was that her agency would take care of her. That was until she broke out of custody a week later... and I saw pictures of what she had done, how she had killed the doctor and her colleagues, and the officers guarding her. Just... massacres. Nothing like her methodical work when she used to be sane. I am not ashamed to say that it was enough to make me quit. With my grandparents' influence, I was able to get a retirement, an honourable discharge of sorts. I spent about five years of my life, getting away from Beatrice.
The friend I had lunch with the other day, his name was Lawrence. He came to see me because he thought he could use my help trying to locate Beatrice, who was working in Virginia. I refused. I told him not to contact me again. But then you and I talked on the phone and, I had to make sure that you weren't investigating the murders she had committed. So I met him to confirm that the BAU wasn't involved, but it was. And I couldn't risk her finding out about you. She would have. If she knew who was on her trail, she would have found out every single thing about your team. And when she would have made the connection between you and me... she would have hurt you first. I couldn't let that happen"
Spencer watched her tear-stained face. He suppressed all emotion until he could know all there was to know.
"What did you do?"
"I told Lawrence that I would help him, but only if he kept Beatrice away from your team"
"You asked him to interfere with a federal investigation?"
"I did what I had to do to protect you. It would have worked. It should have worked. I was in Richmond, trying to draw her out. She came after me but I wasn't there. Lawrence called me and said they had eyes on her. He told me to get out of Richmond. I took the train. I was so happy it was over. But then... when I was going to get rid of the cellphone we used to keep contact, I got a call on it from Lawrence's phone", Monica said, "It was her. She has promised to come after me and everyone I love"
"Your family?"
"They are safe, at my grandparents' in England. They all think my grandma is dying and it's her last wish to see them. I told them I had to stay behind here because you were injured. They bought it. And now Beatrice knows who I am, where I live. She probably knows about you too"
Monica kept looking out of the window. The shadows from her trees outside heightened the elfin beauty of her face. On any other night, it would have drawn Spencer to her. But now all it inspired within him was anger.

He was supposed to be vigilant now, aware of his surroundings all the time, constantly looking over his shoulder. When he got out of prison, he had resolved he would never let anybody make him live like that again. But that's how it would have to be now. And of all the people in the world, Monica was the one who had brought it on him.
"You lied to me", he said.
She wouldn't reply.
"I didn't mind you keeping secrets from me as long as they were yours but this...", he struggled to speak, "It brings us back to that same question. How am I supposed to trust you?"
She said,
"I was only trying to protect..."
Spencer stood up, and turned his back on her. He had to drown out her voice. Rage coursed through his veins as he paced the floor.
It was a betrayal.
And it hurt thrice as much because it had come from her. He didn't want that kind of pain, was too tired of life to endure it again.

Though the mere thought of it made his eyes sting with tears, Spencer knew what he had to do. He turned to Monica. His voice was that of a man defeated.
"When this woman is caught", he said, "...you and I are done. I am not going to spend my life with someone I don't trust anymore. Someone who lies to me and tries to manipulate my life how she thinks fit"
Spencer kept his eyes averted, hoping to avoid her pitiful look. But Monica didn't turn to him. She kept looking out of the window, with tears streaming down her face.
"I love you - it's the only explanation I have for what I did", she said, "But I understand"
He risked a look at her again, not believing her to give in so easily. Monica turned her back to him and wiped her tears away. He had half a mind to throw himself upon her and forget all that had transpired.
Reason prevailed.
"I have to go inform my team. You will be contacted about the next course of action as soon as our Unit Chief makes a decision. Do you need protective detail?"
She shook her head with her back still to him. Spencer watched her for another moment. And with feet that felt heavier than lead, he walked out.

"Here now, forevermore, our lives must part.
My path leads there, and yours another way.
What shall we do with this fond love, dear heart?
It grows a heavier burden day by day"

- Ella Wheeler