Silver Linings Chapter 4: The Way to A Man's Stomach, a gintama fanfic

Author's note: I do not own anything from Gintama. Please review! This story is unbetaed. WOW, I never thought that some of you actually read this fic. It's something I wrote more for myself and this plot idea I've had for more than a decade, I think. Thank you reviewers. (mehr03, Lexi, 8579, anon, and Freya). I realized that I didn't include Takasugi/Matako in this fic. I just couldn't fit them in as main charas. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: The Way to A Man's Stomach

Kyuubei Yagyuu had her arms crossed outside the front door. "Is this it?" She asked a little too loudly.

"I'm sure," Tae nodded. "Toushi said this was the place."

"So are we going to knock?" Mutsu had her fist ready at the door.

"Wait!" Tae said, checking herself (again) in her pocket mirror.

"Maybe we shouldn't go through with this…" Kyuubei suggested, her eyebrows close together.

Mutsu frowned, "I don't want to knock anymore!"

"Who's going to do it then?" Tae bit her lip. They were taking too long outside already.

"Why don't you do it, Otae?" Kyuubei asked.

"I can't…"

"Well I'm not doing it either…"

"I can't do it too." Mutsu grumbled.

"Ugh! Enough of this, we are wasting time! If you all won't do it… then I will!" Sacchan slammed her fist on the door several times. "I ditched Bansai for this."

Yes, she actually went with them. There was no way she was going to stay and die of curiosity. And after all the pleading and blackmailing by her friends, they finally convinced her to come with them.

Tae smiled. "Thank you, Sacchan. Finally, you've said something!"

"Whatever."

The door remained unanswered causing Sacchan to huff and knock angrily again. The other girls were getting worried – that Sacchan would break down the door if no one opened it within the next minute.

Fortunately, a tall, muscled guy with dark brown hair and a goofy grin answered the door. He had a pleasant aura but he reminded Sacchan, oddly enough, of a gorilla.

"Good evening, beautiful ladies! I'm Kondou. Come in, come in." He led them inside as the girls exchanged looks. He kept on bowing and gesturing with his arms.

"Hi…" Mutsu led the conversation. "I'm Mutsu. This is Otae… and Sacchan over there with Kyuubei."

Kondou grinned at her then walked to Tae and shook her hand. "Otae… So Toushi's words ring true. I understand why he can't stop talking about you." He openly stared at her and smiled.

Tae blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Kondou."

"So…" Sacchan said, trying to diffuse the pause.

"Oh, sorry for being rude," Kondou shook her hand too. "So you're Sacchan. Gintoki's mentioned you several times. He's told us all about how he met you."

Sacchan scoffed. "Oh yeah? Met?" She couldn't believe she let herself get persuaded into attending this dinner. "I would definitely choose a different word."

Inside the house was a large couch with a television right in front of it. Things were a bit messier than their own place but the space was larger. Sacchan spotted the large dining table and lots of food and drinks were already prepared on top of it.

On the couch were two other guys lounging and watching anime. They both got up as soon as they spotted their guests.

"He-ey!" A curly brown-haired guy with shades greeted them. He shook all of their hands, both hands per girl, and said, "Lovely," to each one. "I'm Sakamoto. Call me Tatsuma." When he shook Mutsu's hands, he tipped down his sunglasses and winked at her.

The other friend had long straight black hair and impeccable posture. He also greeted each one of them and introduced himself as "Katsura".

"Zura for short," Tatsuma and Kondou offered.

"It's not Zura!" Zura hissed.

That made the girls – except Sacchan – laugh. They also introduced themselves.

"There sure are a lot of them," Mutsu whispered to Sacchan.

"Come on over and take a seat, ladies," Zura offered.

Kondou took the spot beside Tae and Kyuubei while Mutsu sat by Zura and Tatsuma. Sacchan was left standing awkwardly behind the sofa.

"So many girls…" Tatsuma chuckled.

"And guys." Kyuubei returned.

Zura laughed good naturedly, "Good one."

"Toushi will be here soon. He's just in the bathroom," Kondou informed them.

"It's been an hour," Zura piped up. "What is he doing?"

"Fixing himself up to look good for these lovely ladies, of course." Tatsuma laughed like a maniac. "Or probably smoking a whole pack again."

Tae coughed once. "Where is Gintoki? Does he live here too?"

Tatsuma laughed again. "That good for nothing… He's probably still out drinking."

"Isn't he out with Tsukuyo? They're probably…" Kondou gave them a knowing look.

"He said he was just going to get some fresh air before dinner," Zura said. "But don't worry, he'll be here soon."

"Yeah, he wouldn't pass on meeting some lovely ladies." That was Tatsuma.

"I'll bet." Sacchan muttered to herself, but she could feel her heart beating faster.

They had some fun talking and Sakamoto proved himself to be a very amusing storyteller. Kyuubei noticed that Kondou was paying special attention to Tae, asking her lots of questions and being extra attentive. Sacchan had warmed to them, especially that time when Sakamoto and Zura were arguing about nicknames again. It was too funny to ignore.

"Ahem, have I missed something?" Toushi had finally arrived.

He looked amazing. Tae had to hold her breath as she gazed at him. His hair was gelled up and spiky, falling over his deep, intense blue eyes. He smelled good too. It seemed that taking long in the bathroom did pay up. Then he made eye contact with her.

He smiled. "Hi Otae, glad you could come."

She smiled back.

"I'm here too, you know." Sacchan smirked at him.

"Hi Sacchan," he looked around, "Gintoki's supposed to be here soon."

"I'd rather he wasn't," she muttered. But she was getting curious where the perm-head was.

"This is Mutsu and this is Kyuubei," Tae introduced them to Toushi.

"Nice to meet you." Toushi smiled at them too but his eyes turned to Tae again. "Lovely," he murmured.

Tae grinned, embarrassed.

"But… your hair…"

"Is something wrong with it?" Tae wanted to scream and lock herself in the bathroom.

He narrowed his eyes. "Hmm… it's different."

"She just has it in a ponytail." Kyuubei snapped.

"That's it!" Toushi exclaimed.

Tae chose her words carefully. "Do you think it looks bad?"

"No, you look great, Otae."

"I think she looks beautiful," Kondou spoke out of the blue, making her cheeks warm. No one spoke afterwards.

"Uh, where is that Gintoki?" Toushi changed the subject. Sacchan felt that pang in her chest again.

"Yes, I wonder where Kintoki is," Zura murmured while browsing Facebook. "He hasn't started his drunk posts yet."

"Kintoki?" Sacchan wondered aloud. It sounded funny.

Toushi laughed. "That's what Zura calls him sometimes." It was hilarious, Sacchan thought.

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura!" He looked up from his phone, frowning.

Suddenly, the door opened and Gintoki sauntered inside. Sacchan held her breath as she stared at his feet and avoided looking at his face. She can still remember the incidents earlier.

"Oi, what's going on here?" He sounded really excited.

"Hello, Gintoki!" Tae waved at him from where she was seated.

"It's you!" He grinned at her. "Call me Gin. Gintoki's too… formal."

Kondou slapped him on the back of his neck. "We were just talking about you, Gintoki."

"Ain't that grand?" He laughed and walked up to Sacchan. She barely moved.

"Hi, Sacchan."

She cringed, expecting some harsh comments but he didn't say anything. The others were silent and she realized that they were waiting for her response. Naturally, everyone knew about what happened earlier. She took a deep breath and said hello without looking at him.

Mutsu tapped her on the arm and hissed, "Gin's over there."

Sacchan gave her a death glare.

"Er, how are you?" Gin asked her.

"Fine, I guess."

Toushi coughed loudly. "Hey everyone, let's go to the kitchen and start eating."

"Yes, let's." Tatsuma jumped up from his seat and led the way.

Zura also stood quickly and left the room begging to be spared from a dramatic Gin versus Sacchan scene.

"I'm famished too," Kyuubei volunteered.

"Let's go, let's go," Kondou chanted and waved at the others except Gin and Sacchan.

"I'll go," Tae said and Kondou's smile widened.

"Same here," Mutsu added while following Zura inside.

Within seconds, all of them were huddled in the kitchen but not everyone had started to eat. Zura and Tatsuma were leaning against the door, eavesdropping, and then Mutsu and Kyuubei followed.

Toushi rolled his eyes, "What on earth are you idiots doing?"

"SHHH!" Tatsuma held up his hand.

"You should be ashamed," Toshi muttered.

Tatsuma pressed his ear against the door and listened…

"So, aren't you hungry yet?" Gin gave a nervous laugh and his voice was twice as deep as before.

Sacchan shrugged, "Not really."

"Oh, you've eaten already? Or are you on some fad diet?"

Sacchan turned to him, annoyed. "Who are you to ask me such things?"

"Look, Sacchan, I'm just trying to be nice. What the hell is wrong with you?" Zura and Tatsuma gave each other significant looks. "What happened earlier was a mistake…"

"A mistake? You sure were nice this afternoon," her voice was obviously sarcastic.

"I'm sorry, okay? What more do you want?" Gin started to raise his own voice. "Honestly, some women are so hard to please." He flopped down on the sofa.

"You are unbelievable."

"Whatever. I just want to have a good time with the others but you're just being pissy about every single little thing."

Sacchan huffed. "This is crazy. I'm going to help the others with the food."

"Fine, best you get out of my hair." Gin bit back.

"Fine, rot in here."

"Fine."

Gin suddenly jumped on his feet and moved in front of her so that they were within inches of each other. He stood straight, to his full height, almost six feet tall, and tried to intimidate her. Sacchan, however, stared back at him, not frightened at all. He sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"

Sacchan trembled and found herself calming down. She looked into his eyes, red and dead, but she could not explain why her heart was beating so fast. Why was he suddenly being so nice? She didn't mind though. But his rough side was somehow more interesting. Sacchan had a weakness for dominating types. She remembered the park incident where he mistook her for his lover and pounced on her. Her body was on full alert again.

"Well, what else do you want me to say?" She snapped at him, searching for the harsh words and that fire in his eyes.

"You are one crazy bitch," he declared before stepping away and returning to the sofa. He switched on the television and tuned in to the weather channel where Christel Ketsuno was cheerfully predicting a storm.

Meanwhile, Sakamoto slightly opened the door and peeked inside.

"You'll get caught," Kondou warned.

"Nah… ahahahaha!"

"What's going on out there?" Toushi asked.

"Well, aren't you ashamed?" Tae laughed demurely at him. She was cooking something on the pan and it was already in flames.

Toushi coughed and discreetly poured water on the pan to dissipate the fire. "Just checking if that silver-haired idiot is okay. Sacchan can really pack a punch."

"GODDAMN IT YOU ALL SHUT UP. SHH!" Mutsu was giving them death glares.

Toushi and Otae shared a look, trying hard not to laugh.

Zura joined Tatsuma. "Hey natural idiot, what is happening already?" He looked genuinely interested.

"Zura…"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

"Hey, Zura… I didn't know that Kintoki was into fashion shows." Apparently, he had switched the channels and was watching Japan's Next Top Model intently.

777777777777

Dinner time was enjoyable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. That is… Except for Gin and Sacchan. She was mostly silent with her cheeks pink when she first took a seat beside him. He, however, acted like he found her repulsive and made a fuss of the seating arrangement.

"Hey Zura, let's switch places."

Sacchan frowned at him. "Why would you want to trade with him? I don't mind if you kicked my shin under the table."

"I did not even touch your feet, you hag."

Kyuubei nodded at Sacchan. "Sorry Sacchan, I was the one who accidentally hit you."

"I'm sure it's your way of getting my attention," Sacchan rested her cheek on her palm with her eyes glassy. "I don't really mind." She completely ignored Kyuubei's words.

"You are such a nuisance!" Gin's face was scrunched up in anger.

"Sacchan? I said it was me." Kyuubei repeated.

"Kyuubei, girl, you don't need to take the fall for this man."

"You're gonna take a fall soon if you don't stop your nonsense." Gin stood with his fist retracted.

"I think we should stop them." Tae said to Toushi as she looked worriedly from Sacchan to Gin.

Toushi hid his face in his hands. "But… how? I don't want to get caught in the middle of the fire."

"Do whatever you want, I'll take it." Sacchan screamed at him. "You couldn't hold back earlier at the park, if I recall."

"I was bored. And are you forgetting? I said it was a horrible mistake!"

"Don't lie to yourself. You loved it." Sacchan stuck her tongue out at him with a glint in her eye.

"You are the most delusional creature I have ever met." Gin spat the words at her while pointing a threatening finger at her face.

"Thank you, Gin-san."

"Don't call me that!"

"Sure, Gin-san."

"You're really such a pest!"

"Whatever you say, Gin-san."

"You-" Gin paused, at a loss for a comeback. He tried to find something to yell back at her but he couldn't think of anything. He focused his eyes instead on her detestable hair color.

"Cat got your tongue?" Tatsuma howled with laughter as he openly gestured at Gin's open mouth.

"I see, I've got you speechless." Sacchan smirked at him. She slid closer.

Gintoki edged away. "Shut up, Ms. Stalker Tendencies."

"Her name is Sacchan," Toushi supplied glumly.

"How dare you? I've had enough!" Sacchan walked to the door with her arms crossed.

"You think I'm enjoying this? I just wanted to apologize but now you're acting all weird and creepy." Gintoki threw his arms up, exasperated.

"I've accepted your apology!" Sacchan cried, her face redder than ever. "Happy?"

"Fine then!"

"Fine!"

"Enough! Stop copying me, it's irritating!"

"I think you should stop copying me!"

"No, you!"

"You!"

"Okay, fine!"

"Fine!"

"How are we gonna live through this?" Toushi groaned, slamming his head on the table.

"Well, the chapter is ending, so I guess the suffering's over for now," Kyuubei murmured as she raised an eyebrow.