Synopsis: One day, Luigi won a mansion from a contest he didn't enter. Then it finds out it's actually a spooky, haunted mansion, and it only gets worse from there. Sort of. Happy...Halloween?

Chapter 2: Okay, I Kind of Lied. I'm Getting Kind of Invested in This and I've Already Began Planning Out the Sequel to This and I Can't Tell if That's Really Impressive or Really Sad.

"So, you said your name's Luigi, yes?"

The plumber nodded, proceeding to sip some tea that E. Gadd had prepared for him.

E. Gadd cooed softly. "Ah, yes. I do think our paths were destined to cross. Well met, Luigi."

Luigi nodded and began to twiddle his thumbs again. "Yeah, uh, it's nice to meet you, too, and all, E. Gadd, but... Where exactly are we?"

E. Gadd cooed again. "Why, these cozy quarters are where I do my ghost-studying. It's Professor E. Gadd's ol' Ghost research laboratory! Just don't go call it a lavatory, and we'll be fine, sonny. Either way, you're free to just refer to it as the lab if you're of a shortening mind."

A befuddled expression formed on Luigi's face. "Uh, yeah…Thanks."

E. Gadd's smile began to falter as he let out a huff. "So, let me get this straight. You won this mansion in a contest you didn't even enter? Sounds pretty fishy to me…" Letting out another sigh, he shook his head. "You actually believe this mansion exists, huh?"

Luigi tilted his head to the side. "Huh? What do you mean?"

E. Gadd adjusted his glasses before slamming his elbows on the table and tenting his fingers, startling the green-clad man. "Listen to me, sonny. I've been living here since I was a lad or twenty or so, and I've never seen this mansion in my entire life. It literally just appeared a few days ago! The spirits have fooled you, I tell you! You've been bamboozled!"

The professor shook his head. "I don't know if it's a dream, an illusion, or what-all, but I surely wouldn't be too happy winning a haunted house! Then again, I don't really know any people who would." He proceeded to let out a laugh similar to how a haughty anime woman would, a sweatdrop falling down Luigi's head meanwhile.

E. Gadd began to rub his chin and leaned forward. "Hmmm… Now that I get a look at you, I just recalled… Hmm… Uhm..." He lifted a finger up. "Ah! That's it! Now I know why you seem so familiar! This guy with a red hat that looked a lot like yours went up to that mansion without stopping to chat, and-"

Almost immediately, Luigi spat out his tea and slammed his hands on the table. "That's Mario! Have you seen him?"

E. Gadd narrowed his eyes. "...Like I was about to say, I haven't seen him since. Judging by your reaction, perhaps he wasn't a dream. Or, perhaps, you were dreaming, too? Hmm… How peculiar…"

Luigi slammed his hands on the table again, almost causing the tea in both of their cups to spill. "No, E. Gadd, please! You've got to understand! Mario is my brother and I haven't seen him since he headed off towards the mansion. If anything were to happen to him. I..." Luigi stopped himself there, already beginning to feel his emotions overtake him.

E. Gadd drew back and put a hand near his mouth. "What? That guy was your brother? Oh no! That's horrible! Oh, he wouldn't even stand a chance against those ghosts without my help!"

He then noticed Luigi who was frozen in place, his complexion pale and his expression unchanging. "Sorry. I must've scared you a bit with that statement, huh?" He sighed before shooting Luigi a somewhat serious, yet lax expression. "Okay, here's the plan: I'll teach you how to deal with ghosts so you can rescue your brother! Err, Milo, was it not?"

Luigi's eyes narrowed. "Mario."

E. Gadd casually waved his hand up and down. "Of course, of course! I was just playing with you, sonny." He clearly his throat and pointed in an unspecified direction. "Alrighty, then! Let me take you to the training room!"

E. Gadd lifted up a finger again. "Ah! But first off…" He handed Luigi...something. It seemed to be controls on how to use, well, umm, I don't know. Something about movement style and light types, or whatever. Look. I'm trying to write this as close to the game as possible while trying to have it make sense in context. Give me a break.

Regardless, Luigi soon found himself in the training room. When he got there, E. Gadd proceeded to call him on the Game Boy Horror he provided him.

Heh. Game Boy Horror. More like Game Boy… I'm glad I stopped myself. What I made in mind was really distasteful.

Okay, but real talk. How the hell is Luigi supposed to see E. Gadd on that small ass screen while in a dark ass mansion? I grew up with the SP, mind you, but I own a Game Boy Color of my own, and I can tell you that the screens on those things are wack. You can't see shit on the damn things. Okay, maybe E. Gadd put in a backlight, or got a refurbished one from some other guy, but that's a big maybe. It's also in full color from what I can tell, which is also pretty inaccurate. It's either all of that or I'm looking way too deep into a fanfiction (THAT I WROTE) based off a video game.

"That thing on your back…" E. Gadd began. "That's the vacuum cleaner I used engineered to catch ghosts—Just like the one I failed to...catch. Anyway, it's what you'll be using during your time here. I call it… this is genius… the Poltergust 3000!" Luigi facefaulted, unsure how to respond to E. Gadd's terrible, but infectious pun.

E. Gadd clasped his hands together and took a deep breath. "Okay, listen. Let me let you in on some, cold, hard facts. No matter how strong you think your brother is… Ghosts are mysterious beings… They can't be caught using conventional means. So that's why I've given you the Poltergust. You'd better use it! It's the only way to foil them! This is the only thing they truly fear! Or something to that effect… Um, anyhoo, how's about we start your training?"

"How 'bout no?" Luigi thought to himself, though the thought quickly exited his mind when he remembered about Mario. Honestly, that was the only reason he even decided to visit the mansion. If it had been just him and he saw the mansion, he would've noped on out of there.

"Ghosts seem to like the darkness," E. Gadd continued, "often avoiding light whenever they can. Isn't that a hoot? So, if you hit 'em with a sudden beam of light, they're sure to get startled and be stunned momentarily! Then, it's vacuuming time, so don't miss your chance! When sucking up a ghost, I highly recommend going in the opposite direction of said ghost. Just try it for yourself so you don't have to listen to me yap about it. So, with that out of the way…"

Within an instant, the lights in the training room went off, causing Luigi to jump a little. Then, a ghost popped out of one of the, uh, holes(?), causing Luigi to yelp before violently waving his flashlight at the spectral being. Despite his frantic flailing, it seemed to do the trick. Hastily, he sucked the ghost up, heaving a sigh of relief after doing so.

"Glad that's over with," he thought to himself, wiping a small bit of sweat from his forehead. Of course, this is a story about Luigi. The poor man can never catch a break, so of course something was going to go to hell really quick.

"Huzzah!" E. Gadd cheered. "That's the ticket, my boy! Surprise 'em with the light when they get close and then suck them up as soon as you see their heart! Zing! Pow! Just like that! Right in the opposite direction and right in the kisser! You got that? OK, now let the real training begin!"

Suddenly, another ghost appeared, prompting the green man to do the same thing he did to the last one, only this time with a little more finesse (and possibly a little less anxiety. Possibly).

E. Gadd clapped his hands together a couple times. "Well done, Luigi! That's exactly how you do it! I never would've expected you to get the hang of it so quickly!" The old man proceeded to clear this throat. "Anyway, I thought I should tell you something. Ghosts don't always show up alone, but the basics remain the same. Now get ready for two ghosts at once!"

"Wait, what?" Then, like E. Gadd had said, a pair of ghosts appeared, frightening the poor plumber, but with barely a second thought, he disposed of them the same way before-flashing them and giving them a good ol' suck, two sets of hearts falling on the ground after doing so.

E. Gadd suddenly lit up. "Ah! I forgot to mention-If you suck up two ghosts at once, you may get something good!"

"Something good?" Luigi thought to himself. "Isn't the reassurance that they're out of the way good enough?"

Of course, Luigi wouldn't have much time to continue dwelling in his thoughts, as two more ghosts began to float behind him. He hesitated at first, but he was able to get rid of them just like the others before them.

"Splendid work, my boy!" E. Gadd beamed. Don't let your guard down just yet, though! You're about to be in for a real challenge!"

Just then, four ghosts appeared at once. Naturally, this caused Luigi to panic. He froze up, something of which is probably not very good when ghostbusting.

Hey, wait. Time out, please. Now that I these ghosts are really cooperative, aren't they? Before this, one of them absolutely clapped E. Gadd. Now, they seem to be willing to let themselves get sucked up. What is this backwash mahogany?

Also, the ghosts do have names. They're called Gold Ghosts yet I've just been calling them ghosts this entire time. Sorry.

Luigi found himself huddled in a corner, slowly being surrounded by the ghosts. The Gold Ghosts. He fumbled around, looking for his flashlight, being able to stun at least two of them just in the nick of time. Then, he got to sucking them up. He quickly stopped to catch his breath before going through the same song and dance with the other two ghosts.

E. Gadd clapped his hands together a couple times. "Okay, that'll do! You can let your guard down now." Luigi more than happily obliged to E. Gadd's statement.

E. Gadd pulled out a clipboard and began to write something down. "Just a second, my boy. I'm tallying the results as we speak."

Then, the lights in the training room came back on as fireworks went off. "Wow! Ten out of ten ghosts! Positively dazzling, Luigi!" E. Gadd cheered. "I must say you are truly a natural at this. Why, you're probably more than ready to look for your brother, no doubt!"

Luigi sheepishly smiled as he rubbed the back of his head. "Aww, come on, E. Gadd. I'm blushing…"

...That…didn't sound too weird, right?

E. Gadd rested a fist near his mouth and nodded. "Fine, fine. It seems you worked up quite a sweat. How about a little cool-down in the gallery? I'm quite proud of it, you know…"

Luigi waved his open hand from side to side. "Um, no thanks, E. Gadd. I'll pass."

E. Gadd jumped a little, genuinely a bit surprised at Luigi's remark."Really, you're not interested? ...Well, there's something I have to show you in there, so bear with me. Besides, you must be tired, no doubt."

Luigi began to sulk a little, but he decided to try and comply with E. Gadd, if only reluctantly. "Okie-dokie… I'll go check it out." Shutting off the Game Boy Horror, Luigi sighed, but he soon smiled to himself, knowing that there was a chance that he could get out of this mess alive.

Along with Mario, of course. He's important, too. You see, in these parts, we live in a "Mario Protection Zone" and anyone who is seem partaking in actions deemed harmful, they will no longer be considered my real son and I will proceed to literally throw them under a bus, killing them instantly.

...Okay, that was a little harsh. I'm sorry.