I guarantee no expertise in physics.

Apologies to Pendleton Ward.

Also, just FYI, don't try this at home. I mean, I hope that's obvious, and made clear in the text, and if you managed to kidnap someone into your family you've got some other issues, still. Disclaimer.

-OOO-

Blake preferred to kill time by lying on the ground. It was her favorite activity.

"Blakey!" exclaimed Weiss. She ran to Blake and hugged her. "You're so floppy, Blakey!"

Blake blinked.

Weiss got the attention of one of the maids. "Hey, do you know why Blake's so floppy?"

Before the maid could answer, Weiss went into the explanation.

"Well you see," Weiss explained, "All matter is actually composed of vectorized probability. The four fundamental forces interact with each other to give the appearance of existence, and since all our senses rely on the interpretations of the probability wobbles, we say that we can 'perceive' matter as actually existing in a singular state, even though there's many different configurations of matter that we can't actually see or touch but which we could determine with powerful enough instruments."

Weiss propped Blake upright. Blake fell down sideways once Weiss let go of her. "So at the atomic level, whether or not something is in a given atomic state is actually not determined until a measurement of the subject's state is taken. For example, many things can act as either a particle or a wave depending on the circumstances of the measuring model, but until we look close enough, we can't determine if it's one or the other."

"So, for example, say we put a radioactive materiel under a radio spectrometer and hook that up to a valve on a jar of poison. And we put a kitty in a box with the jar. Since we don't actually know whether or not the radioactive material decayed or not until we measure it, we don't know if the valve on the poison is ever released, and thus we don't know if the kitty is alive or dead until we check."

"But the moral of the story is, until we check, the radioactive material behaves as if it both did and did not decay, and the kitty is both alive and dead at the same time, and that's what Blake's doing!"

Weiss hugged Blake harder. "The moral of the story is, that all kitties are in a superposition of life and death until somebody looks at them under a microscope! And that's why Blake's so floppy."

Blake blinked. "in social sciences, it's called 'depression'."

Weiss giggled and rubbed her face in Blake's hair. "heeheehee. Silly Blakey, social sciences don't have the same esteem as physics! That's why they pay less!"

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side.

Weiss pulled back and turned Blake towards her. "So, what do you want to do now, Blake?

Blake looked at her stomach.

Weiss giggled and rubbed Blake's nose. "Dinner's not for a while, silly."

Blake pouted.

Weiss's mouth wobbled. "Um, I guess I can see if I can get you some food."

It turned out that Weiss wanted to personally cook Blake the food she was going to get her. It brought them into the kitchen, a workshop of porcelain and aluminum, smelling of soap and the fading ghosts of washed away food. The cook was cleaning knives, and the gaunt maids were mopping the floors.

"I want to cook some food for Blake!" Weiss said. She held out Blake, perhaps just in case anybody forgot who Blake was.

The cook smiled an excited smile. "That's great, Weiss! No Schnee has ever learned to cook before." Blake thought it was joke, but then she realized there was a good chance it was literally true.

"Sweet! Blake want's a basil-roasted swordfish cioppino with zesty scallops and a side of fun!"

"Ah, that reminds me," the cook fidgeted nervously, "Your parents gave us strict instructions as to your kitchen safety. You are not to use a knife until you're older."

"But I can use a sword, and swords are more dangerous." Weiss pouted. "I even started it up again, despite," she then touched her medical eyepatch, "You know."

The gaunt maid turned to the cook. "Perhaps if she carved all the meat with her rapier? It would only violate the spirit of prohibition."

"But the missus's cuttin' tha swordfish. Innae dat allowed, seein' they's be ina same 'en'ral family o' piercin' implements?"

"Ummm," the cook said, "I don't think it works like that."

Weiss hugged Blake and pouted. "Blakey's getting hungrier. Pretty soon I need some food I can cook her."

"Did you say," the gaunt maid flashed a wicked grin, "you needed something to cook her-

"Not what I meant." Weiss waved the air and pouted. "I mean what kind of food am I allowed to make?"

"Makin' Pancakes, makin' Blakey pancakes!" Weiss sang. She had since donned a chef outfit, complete with muffin-shaped hat, and she was currently mixing a large aluminum bowl of pancake batter. Bits of viscous white flour-based goo splattered everywhere. "Blake is hungies so I'm makin' Blakey pancakes~"

Weiss poured the mixture into a skillet, which immediately started smoking and making hissing noises. Blake resisted the urge to hiss back; she couldn't ever win a hissing contest with the cooking machines.

"Blakey pancaaaaakkkes!" Weiss flipped a finished

Blake picked up her Blakey Pancake (tm) with both hands and bit into it.

It tasted like fish. Blake's eyes widened in surprise, and she stuffed the whole meal disk into her mouth and chewed.

"Do you like it, Blakey?" Weiss said. "I mixed in some fish oil so it would taste like fish!"

Blake nodded between gulps and beckoned for more Blakey pancakes.

Weiss only made three, and Blake allowed the human girl to take a wedge of pancake from one of them.

Blake finished, and she was still a little hungry.

And then Blake noticed that Weiss had a bit of the batter on the lower half of her left cheek. Blake moved to lick it off Weiss's face.

"Ah!" Weiss pulled back, but Blake jumped on top of her. "Blake nooo!" Weiss yelled in terror, or perhaps delight.

Eventually Weiss brought them back to her room. It was the time in which she usually fixed her face. But instead she got a head start on snuggling Blake, pulling them both to the bed.

"Mmmmm," Weiss said. She rubbed her cheek and her nose and most of her head really on the back of Blake's head, nuzzling like she hadn't nuzzled before.

"Oh Blakey," Weiss said, "Blakey Blakey Blake."

"I think the maid was right," Weiss mumbled blissfully, "You just look so scrumptious."

Weiss nuzzled Blake's head some more.

"I could just eat you right up, Blakey."

Blake, for some reason, assumed Weiss was using an idiom, up until she felt something damp close around her left ear.

Blake mrawed and flinched and tried to push Weiss off her.

Weiss's arms clamped around Blake's waist. "No Blake-"

Blake pushed down on Weiss's face and managed to escape. She ran to the door.

"No, Blake, come back," Weiss reached out. "You're my kitty and you live in my house and I want to eat your ears!"

Luckily, Weiss's door didn't have the ability to lock, so Blake escaped the room easily. She bolted down the halls, towards the half of the mansion she was familiar with.

"No Blake come back!" Weiss whined from behind her.

Blake ducked to her right. It was the kitchen.

Black climbed on bags of grains and cans and spices.

"Blake," Weiss whined from below, "Blake come down-"

Blake ducked deeper amoung the food. Blake heard some people follow Weiss into the pantry. From the sound and the smell, it was the stocky maid and the tall maid.

Weiss explained what happened. The tall maid started laughing and didn't stop laughing. Ever.

"My lady," chided the stocky maid, "You shouldn't intimately touch Blake's sensitive parts without her specific permission."

"But Blake didn't object-"

"That doesn't matter. Unless she explicitly agreed to the act, it's not okay to do it."

"But we snuggle all the time-"

"That doesn't imply Blake is comfortable with all forms of intimacy, at all times."

"O-okay. I understand."

"Also, it was wrong of you to hold over Blake's head that you've given her a place to live. You shouldn't do nice things for people because you expect something in return."

"Especially if you're expecting to, aha," the tall maid chortled, "eat, someone's parts, aha." The tall maid resumed snickering uncontrollably.

Weiss got more of a lecture.

"Blake," Weiss eventually called up to the food and to Blake, "I'm really sorry I tried to eat your ears. And you'll always get to live here, no matter what. Please come down; I promise I won't try to eat any of your parts."

Blake crawled out enough to peek her head down. Weiss had the saddest face. The stocky maid was smiling encouragingly, and the tall maid was amiss with unconstrained snickers.

Blake ninja parkoured down. She only messed up a little, like four or five or seven times.

When Blake hit the ground, Weiss ran up to Blake and hugged her, around the neck. "Blaaaakke~" Weiss said. A tear fell on Blake's skin.

Blake blinked.

Blake cleared her throat.

"if you really want," Her ears tilted forward, and she bowed a little. "just, be gentle."

Weiss's face wobbled into something resembling a smile. She ran her hands through Blake's hair and leaned forward. Blake's ears twitched upon contact with Weiss's breath, and Blake tensed when Weiss wrapped her lips around Blake's ear.

"Pfff pfff," Weiss pulled back and rubbed her mouth. "Gross, I got some hair in my teeth. You're too fluffy, Blake."

Blake's expression flattened.