A/N: Thanks for the review, MiiichelleYu! ^_^
Please leave me some feedback at the end of the chapter, everyone. Thank you very much.

"I stand ablaze before you,
And you tell me you smell smoke"

- Erin Hanson

"My boy", Ted Knight wept, "My beautiful boy..."
Sitting in the corridor outside the morgue, Mr. Knight cried over his dead son. He was hunched over and hiding his face in both hands. Monica's mother sat next to him, crying and asking him to be strong for their children. But there was no conviction in those words.
Spencer tried to make some sense of this sudden misery inflicted on the Knights. It was just... unfair. Dr. Fleming and Mr. Knight seemed to think so too as they sat there looking defeated. Their demeanour expressed sorrow and regret - sorrow for losing their grown-up son, and regret for having outlived him. When a grave thought occurred to Spencer, of being alive while Veronica wasn't, he shuddered where he stood.
'Oh God, anything but that'
As he violently shrugged that thought away, he could no more stand the sight of Monica's parents mourning. He turned his attention to Max and Audrey instead. Audrey refused to leave her husband Mark's arms, sobbing mutely. Max sat between his mother and his wife. Daya held onto his hand and wouldn't let go.
"Hey"
Spencer turned at the sound of Monica's voice. She had come to stand next to him.
"Hey", he almost whispered.
Catherine came out of the door Monica had. They had just been in there to identify George's body. While Catherine could barely contain her sobbing, Monica talked to him.
"I have to make some calls. Could you..."
"Yeah, I got you", he said.
He reached out an arm towards Catherine, who threw herself against it gratefully. Monica walked away from them without looking back. She already had her phone to her ear by the time Catherine's crying had subsided.
"That bastard denied my brother his last wish"
Spencer looked down at Catherine's face. He asked,
"What do you mean?"
"George was an organ donor", Catherine whimpered, "But it's too late now"
Unsure as to what he could say to bring her some comfort, Spencer just let her take shelter against him. But the moment her wife Elaine entered the morgue, Catherine made for her instead and cried harder than he had seen her cry before.
As Spencer watched the Knights being comforted by their loved ones, his heart ached for Monica. She deserved to have some of that affection too. Of what use was he as a boyfriend if he couldn't comfort her at a time like this?
He watched her hang up on the call and come to her parents. They were far away enough for him to not hear what she said to them. Whatever she did say to her family, it worked. Mr. Knight and Catherine's crying became controlled and inaudible. Max seemed to recover from his shock long enough to get up and go out. Audrey let go of Mark and sat down by her parents instead.
Monica and her mysterious ways. The mystery was too much for him sometimes though.

Monica stayed at her parents' for two days. She was the only one in the family who was capable of organising George's funeral. The rest of them surrendered to their grief.
She would call him and Veronica twice a day. Her questions revolved around her boyfriend and her ward.
"What did you guys have breakfast?"
"Is Nica doing okay?"
"She needs a present for her friend Hope's birthday tomorrow. It's in the dresser, red wrapping"
"How was your day?"
She talked, but she didn't communicate. He tried to ask her how she was holding up, until she told him at last.
"I love you and I appreciate your asking, but I don't want to talk about it. I need to be strong for our family right now"
Spencer had asked,
"But you will tell me when you do want to talk?"
"Of course"
They didn't talk about it again.

George's funeral was attended by almost a hundred people. Everyone who knew him mourned him. Everybody had a kind word to say about him. It made no sense how a man who had devoted his life to helping others could have been taken away from them so soon.
"Daddy?", Veronica said.
Spencer and JJ looked at her. Wearing a black dress she hadn't wanted to wear initially, Veronica was making pining glances at Monica sitting a few seats away between Mr. Knight and Max. One of George's friends was talking about him before the gathering. So Spencer had to use his quiet voice with Veronica.
"What is it, sweetheart?"
"Why is Monica sitting all the way there?", Veronica said, "I want to go sit with her"
Spencer looked to JJ for help. She told him,
"Let her go. Monica won't mind, I'm sure"
With reluctance, he told Veronica she could go sit with Monica. Pairs of eyes turned to the little figure rushing past chairs in the middle of the service. Monica noticed her at once and took her onto her lap. Spencer watched her kiss Veronica's head and smile at her.
If one could call her forced expression of mirth a 'smile'.

Once the crowd dispersed, Spencer and JJ walked further away to avoid being overheard. He kept looking over his shoulder at Veronica. Not comprehending why everyone looked so sad, the little one had taken it upon herself to cheer up her grandparents and Uncle Max.
"How are you holding up?", JJ asked Spencer.
He thrust his hands in his coat pockets. He said,
"I'm fine. It's Monica I'm worried about"
"If you ask me, she seems to be handling it better than the rest of her family"
"That's what she wants everyone to think"
'But I know better'
JJ assured him.
"She will come around. Everyone deals with grief differently"
"I know"
He looked back over his shoulder again. Monica was talking to some of the guests leaving. She looked great in black. If only it were a different occasion, he would have told her so.
He turned to JJ again instead, asking,
"Any leads?"
At once, her demeanour changed. JJ looked around them once before saying,
"Tara and I connected some dots. This wasn't just a murder"
"What was it?"
JJ sighed, looking him in the eye. She said,
"It's a serial. Garcia found three similar unsolved cases with the same MO. Stabbing with a carving knife, the broken jawbone, the body locked inside the car. We think it's the same UnSub. I'm sorry, Spence"
A serial killer targeting someone so close to him - it was downright offensive to him. He caught those monsters for a living, but this was a bit too much.
George being killed by a serial killer meant Spencer was involved one way or another. Now, at last, there was something he could do for Monica and her family. He could catch the murderer who had taken George from them.
"How are you going to tell Monica?", JJ asked.
Spencer couldn't help but feel determined and anxious at the same time. The note of fear crept into his voice.
"I don't know", he said.

The morning after the funeral, Monica came back home. Veronica made for her before he could. She held Monica's knees and pleaded.
"Don't go again, Mon. Ever! Bubbly cried when you were gone. I think Daddy did too"
Monica gave Spencer a doleful smile. He walked to them, taking in the sight of his girlfriend with a grateful look. Monica said to Veronica,
"Boys are silly. I'll bet my strong, brave girl didn't cry"
Veronica shook her head with pride and said,
"I didn't cry"
"Oh yeah?", Spencer said, "Who wouldn't go to bed last night because she wanted Monica to sing her to sleep?"
Veronica looked between both of them and turned on her heels. She mumbled,
"I don't know"
And took off. Spencer and Monica shared a knowing smile. Feeling a bit at ease, he said,
"Welcome back home"
"Thanks"
Before he could step forth and hug her, Monica was taking her bag to their room. A pang shot through him at being unconsciously denied something he needed. Perhaps, something they both needed.
He consoled himself, turning his attention to the smiling photos of his family that decorated the walls of their house. Pain hurt, but it couldn't last forever.

At work, the BAU pursued the case vehemently. They had already begun working on the data before Emily announced -
"That was El Paso. We're in"
Redoubling their efforts, Matt and Luke worked on a geographical profile, JJ and Tara on a psychological one. It left Spencer tying the threads between all the limited information they had. A rudimentary profile was forming before his eyes, but he needed to be sure. So far, he had -
"The UnSub has struck at least three times before, that we know of. He always targets lonely travellers. His murder weapon is a carving knife. Here's a list of professions and hobbies which may require use of a carving knife. But this is up for debate. Even if he does use a carving knife as his murder weapon, there is no sign that he has the skills to use it properly. So we can't be sure that he actually uses it as part of his profession or for a hobby"
Luke suggested,
"Maybe he is a knife salesman"
Matt said,
"That would be way too obvious"
Tara said,
"To us maybe. Not to an UnSub who thinks he can't be caught"
Emily heard them all out. After offering a few of her own theories, she said,
"Wheels up in 30. Reid, you got a minute?"
Spencer followed her out of the briefing room. Emily turned to him with a sympathetic face, which told him volumes before she could speak a word.
"I think it would be better if you sit this one out"
He was ready with every counter-argument possible. But Emily sighed.
"Spencer, you're too close to this case. The vic... George was practically your brother-in-law. And I'm not saying I don't need you on this. But I think it would be better if you worked this case from here. I'll run everything through you, I promise"
Part of him understood Emily's intent in giving him house-sitting duties, but part of him wanted to catch George's murderer in person.
"I can be more useful there. I..."
"Monica needs you here"
That put a stop to every argument he could have come up with. At the mere mention of her name, he could see Monica in his mind's eye. Going about her chores, faking a smile for Veronica.
Emily said,
"If you are here, you can go home to her every night. Obviously, you're coming along on the next case. But I think you are needed here more"
All he could do then was nod in agreement.

9:30 pm

He parked the car in their driveway. Veronica's bobble-head bunny wiggled on the dashboard. Spencer grabbed the bag of cinnamon rolls he had driven all the way to Paula's for. Monica loved those.
Fearing the sound of the doorbell might wake up Veronica if she was asleep, he used his key instead. The lights in the house were dimmed, which signified it was Veronica's bedtime.
He put his bag away, put the bag of cinnamon rolls on the table and treaded lightly to his daughter's room.
"And if you hurt me, that's okay, baby, only..."
The sound of Monica's singing carried over the air to him. A smile crept on to his face unawares before he could even reach the door.
There she was; sitting by Veronica's bed, never with her back to a door or window, and singing. Bubbly was resting by her feet, snoring away. Monica didn't startle but he knew she could tell he was there.
"...wait for me to come home"
Veronica was already fast asleep, with her little mouth gaping open. Monica kissed her cheek and got up.
"Allow me", Spencer said.
He kissed Veronica and turned the lights out. Monica waited for him outside the room, as he wished Bubbly a good night and pulled the door closed.

She joined him for dinner. Spencer couldn't stop himself from sneaking glances at her face. When she caught his gaze, he gave her a timid smile. She gave him one in turn. It wasn't until he had almost finished his meal that he could bring himself to tell her.
"Monica... about George's murder..."
"Detective Riggs from El Paso called today. He told me. It's okay", she said, "You don't have to repeat it"
There was a moment when Spencer simply stared at her, not knowing if he should be relieved. In the end, he supposed he should tell her what she definitely didn't know.
"I know you're not comfortable talking about this yet but, I think you should know", Spencer said, "Emily and the rest of the unit flew to Texas today afternoon. El Paso"
Monica didn't show any feeling. He forged on.
"We are investigating George's murder. Emily asked me to stay here. I was all for going with them but she was right. I am glad I didn't go. I get to be here with you and your family"
Monica watched him for a moment before saying,
"Thank you"
"We're going to get whoever did this, Monica. I promise"
"Thank you"
He took the cue to stop talking. Monica turned her attention to her plate of food again. He felt obliged to do the same.

The team had sent him an update on the case before they headed back to the hotel for the night. The night of his murder, George had been carrying a large number of medical supplies with him and a lot of it was missing. His organisation had shared with the BAU and El Paso police the comprehensive list - serial numbers, manufacture details and all. It would make it somewhat easier - no, less difficult - to catch the UnSub if any of the stolen supplies were sold to a registered clinic or buyer.
It was a long shot, but his team was hanging on to every vine they could grab hold of. For his and Monica's sake.
'Am I ever going to see her smile again?'
Of course, he would. He reasoned with himself.
It would take time and patience. The woman had lost her brother. She couldn't just be expected to cry and get over it. Not Monica anyway.
"Hey"
Spencer almost turned, in the middle of removing his under-shirt before bed. Before he could, Monica's arms had gone around his torso. He stood dumbstruck in the spot as he felt her forehead rest against his back.
'Oh my god, is she crying?'
He turned in haste to check. Monica's misty eyes sent him into a panic he wasn't prepared for.
"Hey. Hey, you... Monica...", he tried.
She wiped her tears away before they could spill. It made him notice the hollows under her eyes. She said,
"I'm sorry for being so closed off lately. I'm sorry for being like this"
"It's okay", he said at once, "It's all right"
When Monica looked up into his eyes, with her lip trembling, he took her in his arms.
"Come here", he said.
She grabbed hold of him with a grateful sigh. Spencer's chest rattled with a shaky breath when she rested against it. The hot tears spilling from her eyes moistened his t-shirt. His clothes getting wet was the last thing he cared about in that moment.
He said to her, his voice brimming with resolution,
"I'm not going to force you to talk to me about it. I'm not going to ask you to accelerate your grieving process somehow. This... George's death is going to hurt for a long, long time. And I understand that. But I need you to know"
He held her tighter against himself.
"I'm right here, Monica... I'm right here"
She said, her voice muffled against his chest,
"I don't deserve you, Dr. Reid"
"That's the stupidest thing you have ever said, Dr. Knight"
She laughed, a surprised and brief sound. When she looked up at him again, Spencer wanted to kiss her damp cheeks. He settled for kissing her forehead instead. It wouldn't do to make her think he had something more intimate on his mind, not so soon.
"I want to sleep in your arms tonight", Monica said.
He was a little surprised, but he said,
"Sure"
"The shirt has to go"
"Whatever you want"
"I get to share your blanket", she said.
"Of course"
"And we'll listen to Air Supply"
"Now you're pushing it"
Monica gave him a wide smile that made his heart want to leap right out of his chest. It was her first real smile in days.

If you were to ask him, he couldn't have told you when he fell asleep that night.
Maybe after they were touching each other under the covers like their love had to be kept a secret.
Maybe after she recited Russian poetry to him.
Maybe after he peppered her face with soft little kisses.
Maybe after he told her he never wanted to spend another night where he couldn't hold her in his arms.
Maybe after she whispered into his chest, "I love you", and he smiled, saying, "I know".

Monica had coiled herself so around him, she was all he could think of, see, smell, hear. He had stroked her hair, her back until she fell asleep in his arms. Her cheek lay against his bare chest. The warmth of her breath against his skin was the last thing he remembered before falling asleep. The lack of it was what eventually woke him up.
A bit dazed from such a satisfying sleep, Spencer had to rub his eyes with both hands. He sat up alone in bed, hoping to hear Monica bustling about in the house. They could sleep in for a while maybe. What time was it?
7:09 AM?
A twenty minute nap was perfectly doable. He just wanted to have her close to him again. Last night had been more intimate than two years of their love.
"Monica?", he called.
His voice was raspy from sleep and his throat felt dry. Spencer turned to the night stand for a glass of water. Under the tall glass, a page from one of Monica's recycled notebooks awaited him. He retrieved it without much thought and read. By the time he read it halfway, he was fully awake.

'I have to get away for a while. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. You're the only one who could have talked me out of it. I'm sorry, but I have to do this. Nica knows. She gave me her permission last night. Harper is going to come over to look after her when you're at work. Audrey is going to ask you if Nica can stay with them till I get back. It's up to you.
My phone is at home. I'm going off the grid for a while. I'll be fine, I promise. I need this, my love. I'm sorry. Please look after yourself. I love you so much.
- Monica'

Spencer rushed out of bed like he was fleeing a bad dream.

Gone. Her passport was gone too. How could she do this to...
The doorbell.
Spencer put on his shirt in a hurry and ran to the door.
'Please God, let it be her. Let her have changed her mind'
It was Audrey, Monica's sister. And Harper, Audrey's teenager daughter.
"Sorry to intrude upon you so early in the morning, Spencer. I hope you don't mind", Audrey said.
He stepped aside.
"Come in"
Harper said to him,
"Hey, Uncle Spencer. Monica leave yet?"
"Y-yeah"
"Aw, man. Mom, I told you we should have hurried. Anyway", she turned to him again, "Is Nica awake?"
"I am not sure"
"I'll go check"
It was all too much all of a sudden without his morning coffee. Without Monica.
Regardless, Audrey had already started talking. She was calling her assistant and talking to him at the same time.
"...got her message last night. I would really like to have Veronica stay with us until Monica gets back. You know we are crazy about her. Besides, you must be up for some late hours. I heard your team is investigating... Arthur, where are you? I'm already running late. I told you that you need to be there before I do. No, the folder is with me. Yes, hurry up"
Audrey's abrupt pause made him aware of the situation. She hung up and resumed conversation with him.
"Harper and Nathan adore Veronica. With Monica not being around for a while, you will..."
"When did she call you?", he asked.
"Around 8 or 8:30 last night. What time did she leave today?"
He was on the verge of a full-blown panic. The pieces started coming together. The picture became clearer.
Monica had planned this. And she hadn't told him because he would have known right away and stopped her.
"Spencer?"
She was not the kind of person to run away from her troubles. She faced them head-on. Monica would never abandon him and Veronica like that, even for just a few days. Unless...
"Spencer, are you all right?"
Spencer turned on Audrey just as Harper came into the drawing room with Veronica. He asked,
"Where is she?"
Audrey said,
"England, at our grandparents'. She must have told you"
He was close to hyperventilating. If his worst fear were to come true... oh God.
"She didn't tell me, Audrey. Where is she?"
Audrey said with apparent indignation,
"England, Spencer. Monica told me so. Where else would she go?"
He mumbled,
"El Paso"
"What? Why would she go to..."
He said, dreading each word before he even said it,
"She's going after the man who killed her brother"