July 1999
„You did it" Rick smiled at her with so much love and awe in his eyes. „I'm so proud of you."
Kate didn't really listen to what he was saying. She was currently busy looking at her son who was laying in her arms. He was so incredibly beautiful.
Giving birth had been exhausting but luckily it hadn't taken as much time as she'd feared. Her mother had told her that she'd been in Labour for 17 hours until little Katie had finally made her appearance. Compared to that eight hours seemed like a gift.
„He's so perfect" Kate whispered, her eyes fixated on the baby boy in her arms.
„Yeah, he is" Rick agreed, gently stroking his son's cheek with the back of his hand. He was so very tiny.
Then the baby started to cry.
„Hey Reece, you awake?" Castle murmured. „Are you hungry, buddy?"
The nurse who'd been busy with organizing things came over to them to show Kate how to best breastfeed her baby. Rick leaned down and kissed Reece's forehead before he got up and did the same to Kate.
„I'll go wait outside and call our parents in the meantime" he told her. Kate nodded absentmindedly, her attention on Reece.
Outside Rick pulled out his phone and called Johanna first. She picked up on the second ring. Ever since Rick called her this morning to tell her that Kate went into Labour she had been waiting for that call.
O-o-o-o-o
Johanna and Martha had come to visit as soon as Rick had called them. They'd fussed over Reece and brought more presents than they would be able to carry to the car with Reece and all his other stuff. Jim hadn't been able to make it since he had to be in court all day.
Kate was beyond exhausted now and Rick was starting to feel the excitement of the day too. Soon after the grandmothers had left Kate fell asleep in the hospital bed. Rick sat on the chair beside the bed with Reece in his arms, his tiny warm body against him. The little boy was sleeping peacefully too and the fast but steady beat of his heart made Rick doze off.
When an hour later Jim Beckett finally made it to the hospital to visit his grandson, he found all three of them asleep. He smiled at the picture in front of him. He tiptoed over to the little table and put the present he brought on it. Then he wrote a little note.
Dear Katie,
Congratulations.
You've probably got a lot of presents from your mother and Martha already but I wanted to buy something for Reece too. I spent more time than I want to admit in search of something unique. He's your son, my perfect baby girl (you'll always stay my baby girl, Katie, no matter how old you are), so he can't be anything other than perfect either. I wanted to find a present that would match his perfectness. I don't know if I succeeded but it's definitely unique so I think it's okay.
In love,
Dad
He put the note beside the little light brown monkey with the different colored ears. He'd bought the stuffed animal from an old lady he'd met in the park during his lunch break. She'd sat there in the sun and had just finished knitting the little monkey when Jim had walked by and seen it. He'd told the woman that he was expecting a grandson and that the little monkey with the red and blue ear would be a perfect present. The woman had been mute but she'd smiled at him and had given him the monkey.
Jim watched them sleep peacefully for another five minutes before he left. He didn't want to wake them, he remembered how exhausting having an infant was. They could use all the sleep they could get. And he could wait another day to hold his grandson. He was a patient man after all.
O-o-o-o-o
Reece just wouldn't stop crying. They'd been home from the hospital for three hours. Reece had spend two of them screaming from the top of his lungs. They had tried everything they could think of. Feeding him, carrying him around, bathing him, putting him in his stroller, singing and so on. But nothing worked.
„Why won't he stop crying, Rick?" Kate asked, there was a frustrated edge in her voice.
„I don't know" Rick shrugged helplessly. They had taken turns carrying the screaming infant but he didn't seem to have a preference. He screamed in either of their arms equally loudly.
Kate was holding him now and seeing her baby scream like that made her heart hurt. She wanted to help him, she needed to help him. She just didn't know how. Why didn't she know how? She was his mother. She had to know what he needed. Right?
„Please, baby, shh" Kate whispered, kissing his head. Her voice was tight. She held him close to her chest and gently rocked him back and forth, up and down, she whispered to him and kissed his head.
Reece wouldn't stop crying. If anything he cried louder.
Kate looked up at Rick again. Tears filled her eyes.
„What am I doing wrong?" she asked.
„You are not doing anything wrong, Kate. We just need to figure out what he needs" Rick tried to comfort his girlfriend. He was starting to get a headache.
„Obviously we are doing something wrong. He wouldn't be crying otherwise" Kate snapped. She was beyond frustrated. She'd never felt this incompetent. There was this tiny human being that depended on her to care for him and she wasn't even able to give him what he needed. Whatever that was.
Before Rick could find something to say Kate's phone rang.
„Can you take it, please?" Kate asked, still holding a screaming Reece. His face was dark red from the effort it was taking him. Kate wasn't faring that much better. By now tears were running down her face. She couldn't comfort her baby.
„Sure" Rick replied. He went over to the table to get Kate's phone. It read mom.
Rick picked it up.
„Hey Johanna, it's Rick" he answered the phone.
„Oh" Johanna said, a little surprised that Rick was answering the phone instead of her daughter. „Hi Rick. I just came back from work and wanted to check in with you. How are you doing on your first day at home with a baby?"
„We could do better" Rick admitted, going back to Kate and Reece. He looked at them. Reece was still screaming and tears were running down Kate's cheeks in a steady flow. „Reece just won't stop crying and we don't know what to do. We don't know what's wrong with him. We tried everything we could think of but nothing worked" Rick told her.
„Do you want me to come over and try some things that worked with Katie?" Johanna asked. Rick who had put the call on speakerphone looked at Kate. She nodded, relief showing in her posture at the prospect of her mother coming to help.
„That would be great, Johanna" Rick answered.
„I'm on my way" Johanna said and they ended the call.
Rick sat down next to Kate and put his arm around her, looking at Reece.
„Don't worry. We'll figure it out."
O-o-o-o-o
Half an hour later Rick opened the door to let Johanna in.
„Hello Johanna" Rick greeted her. „Please come in"
„He fell asleep twenty minutes ago from exhaustion but woke up again ten minutes later to continue crying" Rick told her on the way to the living room. „We don't know what to do."
„He just won't stop crying, mom. What am I doing wrong?" Kate asked her mother and Johanna immediately detected the dried tears on her daughter's cheeks.
„Did he ate?" Johanna asked.
„Yeah" Kate said. „About two hours ago. But he started crying again after he was finished."
„Can I hold him for a moment?" Johanna asked. Kate nodded and gladly handed him over. She loved holding him. But not being able to calm him down was exhausting.
„Hello there, Reece" Johanna cooed. „What has you got crying?"
Reece just continued crying. He was in so much distress he didn't even seem to notice that he was held by someone else or that someone spoke to him.
Johanna had an idea. Something that had worked with Katie.
„Okay" Johanna said. „When you were a baby and were upset skin contact calmed you down. So maybe you can try undressing him and pulling of your own pullover. Then try laying down with him. That almost always worked with you, Katie. Better with Jim than with me, though. You've always been a daddy's girl."
„That sounds like a great idea. I have a feeling that Reece is a mommy's boy though. So Kate, you try it, okay?" Rick thought out loud. „I'm going to start dinner. Call me if you need me."
„Yes, thanks" Kate said and gave him a tight smile. She just hoped what her mother had suggested would work.
After Rick went to the kitchen Kate tried what her mother had suggested. When Reece was only in his diaper and she topless she took him to the bedroom and laid down with the crying baby. She put a blanket over them and gently stroked his back, murmured to him, sang. But still, he cried. Kate held him tighter and spoke to him.
But Reece just continued to cry without seeming to take notice of all the effort his mother was taking to calm him down. Kate tried nursing him again but he just cried.
„Please Reece, please stop crying" Kate begged her son. With no success of course. „Please. I love you so much, baby. Please stop crying."
Self-doubt was taking residence in Kate's brain again. Maybe she was in fact too young to have baby. Maybe she should have given him up for adoption. But that thought was even worse. The thought that someone else would get to have her baby. She just wished she were able to calm him down. Why wouldn't he calm down? What was wrong with him?
New tears started to run down her face.
O-o-o-o-o
After Johanna had helped Kate settle in she joined Rick in the kitchen where he told her about the other things they had already tried to calm Reece down. Johanna could feel his desperation too. He was hiding it better, trying to be the hopeful and rational one when Katie was caught in such an emotional turmoil but Johanna could see that he was stressed and upset too.
„You'll figure it out" Johanna told him. „the first days are the most stressing. Once you've found a routine it will get easier."
„I hope so" Rick said while he took some vegetables from the fridge and started to slice them.
Johanna took some of them from him and helped him. For a few minutes they worked in silence. Then Rick stated: „Reece is still crying."
They could hear him scream all the way from the bedroom to the kitchen.
„I'll go and check on them. Kate's already been upset when we weren't able to calm him down. I don't think it's getting any better" Rick said.
„You're probably right" Johanna agreed with him.
So they made their way back to the bedroom and encountered a crying Kate with a screaming Reece.
„It's not working" Kate chocked out.
Rick was by her side in an instant. „Hey, don't cry Kate" he whispered.
„Take him" Kate said and almost shoved Reece into his arms. Rick took him. Kate pulled her knees towards her chest and started to sob.
„I'm a terrible mother" she sobbed.
„No, you're not" Rick argued.
„Yes I am" Kate spat. Rick was standing beside their bed with his screaming son in his arms and his sobbing girlfriend in front of him. He didn't know what to do. Desperately he looked at Johanna for help.
„Call your mother and ask her if she's got an idea. Maybe she knows something that worked with you" Johanna told him. Then she glanced at Kate who was sobbing into her knees and not listening to them anymore.
„And take Reece out of hearing range if that's possible. I don't think I'll be able to calm her down if she hears him cry" Johanna added.
„And if Martha isn't able to provide a successful advice either, we'll take him back to the hospital, okay?" she asked Rick and he nodded. They had a plan. And it was hopefully going to work.
O-o-o-o-o
„Katie" Johanna said softly and sat down beside her daughter. Kate immediately turned towards her and started to sob into her mother's shoulder.
„Shh Katie, everything will be alright" Johanna soothed.
„I'm a terrible mother. We haven't even been home for a whole day and I already messed up. Maybe I'm too young to be a mother. Or I'm just not cut out to be one at all" Kate sobbed.
„No Katie, shh" Johanna made. „Don't say that. You love him. That's the most important thing. We'll figure the rest out."
„What if I won't ever be able to comfort my son?" Kate asked. „Someone will take him away, search another family for him. Rick will break up with me…"
„Stop it, Katherine" Johanna interrupted her sternly. „Nobody will take Reece away and Rick won't break up with you either. Now take a deep breath and try calming down."
Kate nodded, took a shaking breath in and let the air out again. She knew she was being unreasonable but she just couldn't help it. She took another deep breath. It was less shaky.
When she'd calmed down she noticed something. Or better: she noticed the absence of something.
„Did Reece stop crying?" she asked hopefully. Maybe Rick had found a way to calm him down?
„Maybe" Johanna said. „But I told Rick to take him outside so you could calm down too. He wanted to call Martha to ask her if she had an advice. Every baby is different and you just have to find out what it is that helps Reece."
Kate nodded. She felt better already and started to became impatient to look how her baby was doing.
„Now, if you are feeling better we can go out and see where Rick and Reece are" Johanna said.
„Yeah, let's go" Kate agreed and they went out to the living room. There she could hear Reece's crying again. It came from upstairs.
„Rick!" Kate called.
It didn't take long until he appeared on top of the stairs.
„Are you feeling better?" he asked while he came down the stairs. Kate nodded. Then she looked at Reece.
„So he didn't stop" Kate stated.
Rick shook his head. „No, but my mother will be here any sec…"
Right in that moment there was a knock at the door.
Johanna let the other woman in and updated her on the situation.
„Hm" Martha made. „I think I know what might be wrong"
She went over to the young parents and looked at Reece. Yeah, the distress in his face reminded her very much of Richard when he was a baby.
Martha approached them. „I've got an idea. May I?" she asked, looking expectantly at her son.
„Try your luck, mother" he said and let Martha take Reece. Rick looked a tiny little bit relieved to hand the crying infant over.
„Well, hello there, beautiful boy" Martha cooed. Reece cried. „Oh poor baby, you are uncomfortable, aren't you? Do you have a bellyache?"
While she talked to the baby she went to the sofa where she laid Reece down in front of her. Johanna, Kate and Rick went after them.
„It's aching here, right?" Martha cooed while she gently stroked Reece's tummy with both of her hands. Reece cried. „I know it's terrible, my beautiful boy. But don't worry, grams knows what to do. Daddy used to have bellyaches all the time too. It's going to be better soon."
While she talked to him, Martha massaged Reece's tummy, sometimes she only used her thumbs, then all her fingertips, then her palms. The other's watched fascinated when Reece's crying grew quieter and then stopped. He yawned a few times, his eyelids fluttered and he was asleep. The whole process had taken about five minutes.
„Wow" Kate said, amazed and relieved that Reece was finally asleep. „Thank you, Martha."
„That was amazing, mother" Rick said.
„How did you know that?" Johanna asked.
„Richard used to scream all the time too. Every evening he screamed for about four hours until he fell asleep from exhaustion. It was terrible. I didn't know what to do. I had no one to help me. And with every day it didn't get better I became more devastated. Then about a week and a half of screaming there was a knock on our door. I went to open it and there stood our elderly neighbor. She was about to complain about the noise. But when she saw my tear-stained face, she didn't.
She looked at Richard once and said ‚He's got a bellyache.' Then she went past me into our tiny living room, said ‚I show you how to calm him down', took him out of my arms and put him down on the couch. Then she showed me how to massage his tummy so to ease his pain. She had had six kids and 23 grandchildren. That woman knew what she was doing. I learned that massage from her and it worked every time. And boy did I need that little trick. Richard used to have bellyaches almost every evening for the first year of his life. Of course I took him to the doctor too but he said that it was normal for some babies and that it would grow itself out. So I used to massage his tummy every night and when he grew older he only had bellyaches occasionally. But even then massaging his tummy helped."
„You think Reece inherited these bellyaches from Rick?" Kate asked.
„I think so" Martha said.
„Can you show us how this massage is done?" Rick asked.
„Of course. Come here, Katherine. I show you how it's done. And you take notes, Richard" Martha instructed.
„First of all you need to have warm hands because it will work best on his naked tummy and cold hands won't relax him. Then you start with putting both your hands on his tummy and start to stroke from the middle down his sides"
Martha demonstrated Kate how to do it and Rick hastily scribbled down every step.
After Kate and Rick had learned how to massage Reece's tummy in case he got bellyaches again, Martha and Johanna bid them goodbye. They could see the exhaustion in their children's eyes.
„You know you can always call me and I'm sure Martha too if you need any help" Johanna said. „There is no reason why you would have to figure out everything on your own. As long as I'm here I'm happy to help you out."
„Me too" Martha said. „But now darlings, I have to go. Have a nice quiet evening." She kissed Rick and Kate on the cheek, Johanna hugged them and then they made their way out of the loft.
„Now, what do you want to do?" Rick asked.
„Sleep" Kate replied.
„Agreed" Rick said.
They put their sleeping son to his bed and then went to bed theirselves. An hour later they were woken up again by the crying infant but this time Kate just had to feed him and then he fell back to sleep.