"Well, git on wid it, then!" yelled the young maid.
Blake blinked. She slapped herself in the face.
"No Blake!" Weiss grabbed Blake's hand. "Don't do that! That hurts you!" Weiss rubbed Blake's cheek.
Weiss climbed up onto the window still. She smiled and held out her hand to Blake.
Blake blinked. She took the hand-
And Weiss pulled Blake out the window into the swirling vortex. The world sort of squished in places and stretched in others.
"And tell tha toof fairy 'hey' fer me!" called the young maid, "I always wanted ta meet 'er!"
The world turned purple and then it turned black.
Aaaaaaannnnd-
Blake hit the ground. She opened her eyes.
The first thing that hit Blake was the smell. It smelled like some sort of sugar overdose cherry cream soda squeaky-disco love ballad. Blake reflexively gagged.
And there was too much white in the scenery. Like, the world was some sort of crayon drawing on a doting grandparent's refrigerator.
Fields of rotoscoped flowers with a saturated color pallet without borders lined a gold cobblestone pathway, that lead to some stupid bullshit rainbow on the horizon, and stupidly happy fairies flew buzzed around them.
Weiss grabbed both of Blakes hand and skipped backwards, pulling Blake into the garish color world.
"Blakey, isn't this great?" Weiss said.
"Whyyyy?" Blake yelled at the world. She was surprised at how her voice sounded.
"why- why- " Blake cleared her throat.
"WHY DOES THIS PLACE EXIST."
Blake was hyperventilating.
Weiss booped Blake's nose. Blake frowned. "Oh, silly Blakey," Weiss giggled, "You just need to look on the bright side! It's easy, because this place is so well lit!"
"I REFUSE."
Weiss skipped in front of Blake and stood up on her toes and waved her arms and closed her eye. Fairies flew around her and somewhere, some sort of contralto voice harmonized with her.
"Oh, Blake~ Don't be so blue~" Weiss sang, in C major seventh, resolving to D minor. She spun around so that her nightgown poofed out. "All about, there's so much happiness for you~"
During the next phrase, a giant mershmellow appeared besides Weiss. They danced together.
"Oh Blake~," Weiss sang, a step higher than the first line, "Look around~! You'll see that joy and life and wonders just abound~"
Blake tripped Weiss.
"Ooof!" said Weiss.
Blake then made the fairies disperse. She pounced on the walking mershmellow and took a bite out of it. It turned out to be a puppet, which the puppeteer dropped before running away. Blake spit out the foam and hissed at the entire world.
Blake threw a rock at the rainbow on the horizon. It cracked at the impact site, and the cracks traveled all the way up the length of the rainbow. Then it shattered, falling in pieces below the hills.
Weiss got back up before Blake could set fire to the place. Blake ran over and helped her up.
"Oow~" Weiss rubbed her elbow. Blake felt guilty, just a bit. Blake then shooed away more fairies.
The world seemed to take the hint, and it adopted an art style more to Blake's liking. The sky clouded over, shadows became high-contrast, and there were more reds and blacks in the lighting. But it was still, clearly, a stupid sugar giggle pit.
The puppeteers waved corrugated cutouts of shadows, around the two of them. They made 'Aboogie-woogie-wooo" noises as they did. Blake allowed it.
Blake tried to block out most of the journey, but eventually they followed the cobblestone path to find themselves before-
An office building. Huh. That was refreshingly normal.
Blake gave one last hiss at the fruity rumpus rainbow sparkle world before she followed Weiss inside.
It was mostly empty. There were tiles on the floor and humming fluorescent lights on the ceiling. There was a receptionist's desk, in the middle of the room.
Weiss walked up to the receptionists desk. Her footsteps echoed. The receptionist looked bored and distracted.
"Um," Weiss leaned up on her tip toes and tapped the desk, "We're here to see the tooth fairy?"
"The tooth- oh. Yeah. Second floor, third door on the left."
"Okay, thanks!" Weiss said.
Blake followed Weiss through the building, up the stairs, and through a normal looking office door.
The tooth fairy was sitting a large mahogany desk, counting teeth and filling out paperwork. There was a dresser and a changing booth and a cot and a refrigerator in here as well and a personal computer in the room.
The woman flickered green eyes towards them, briefly, as they entered. From up close, she smelled like chalk and peppermint and old parchment.
"Oh, I guess you've caught me," she said, a little anticlimatically.
"Yes!" Weiss cheered. "Does this mean we get a wish?"
"Oh, no; fairies don't grant wishes; we trick people."
"Oh no! Did you trick us?"
"Oh yes, in many ways," The tooth fairy smiled.
"Oh nooo!" Weiss said. She clutched her cheeks like she was in a Munch painting. "What tricks have you played on us?"
"Well, for one, I'm not actually a fairy," said the woman.
"Oh my gosh, you tricked us!"
Blake's mouth flattened.
"I did." said the woman, "But for your efforts, I'll answer one question from each of you, as in depth as I can."
Blake's ears and her expression flattened. "So [cough] so you're not a fairy, but you're the tooth fairy." she stated. It wasn't a question, so it got around the loophole.
"There's more than one tooth fairy," waved one of the tooth fairies, "And fairies aren't real. I'm just a woman in a costume."
"there are fairies in your front yard."
"In our theme park? Those are glamered dragonflies."
Blake nodded. It explained why they were so tasty.
The tooth fairy stared at Blake, with a serious face. "And we'll be billing you for the damages, by the way, Blake."
Blake tried to look nonchalant.
The tooth fairy checked her watch. "And I'm only in costume for about ten more minutes, so if you had tooth business to discuss, you'd better hurry up."
"Oh!" Weiss then found her angry eyes. "Yeah, you big dumb jerk! We did have business!" Weiss slammed her fist down on the desk. "Here's my question: why did you give me more money for my teeth than Blake?"
The tooth fairy leaned in her seat. "Why do you think we collect teeth, Weiss?"
"Do you-" Blake coughed. "do you eat them?"
Weiss tapped her chin. "It would explain why the payment per tooth hasn't depreciated in value despite the years of population growth. If they're consumable, then there will always be demand for them."
The tooth fairy laughed. "Oh, no, but that would be funny. No-" she began.
The tooth fairy pushed a pile of teeth forward onto her desk.
"You were right about them being consumable, though. Teeth contain a portion of the innocence of the person they came from. Well, all body parts do, but teeth are also portable and fall out on their own. It'd be awkward otherwise, ahaha,"
Neither Blake nor Weiss laughed.
"Ahem," The tooth fairy, "So since innocence is derived from hope, and hope is the opposite of despair, baby teeth serve as decent weapons against the creatures of Grimm. They don't replace training, skill with a weapon or semblance, or magic, but they're good emergency ammunition. They've certainly helped me out of a few close calls."
Weiss's mouth made an 'oooh' in understanding.
"But wait; how does this relate to why you're paying less for Blake's teeth?"
"Blake is less innocent than you."
Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. It was an accurate statement.
"So tooth maintenance doesn't have anything to do with it?"
"We would prefer not to have black, cavity-ridden teeth in our pockets during a fight, so we do take tooth quality into account when we collect. But it doesn't matter to the Grimm how well you brushed, so it's not a large factor."
Weiss nodded and cogitated. "I also had-"
"Aaaand," The tooth fairy checked her watch, "Time's up. Now there is no tooth fairy, in this geographic region, until tomorrow night."
The former tooth fairy removed her headpiece, and let a braid of platinum blonde hair swing across her shoulders. She opened her desk drawer and pulled the sparkly part off her wand, placing it in her desk and pulling out the end of a riding crop, which she affixed to her wand. She waved the crop towards the drawer and it opened, magically, and some clothes flew into the changing booth. The woman followed suit.
"So what do you do after you're done being the tooth fairy?" Weiss ventured.
"Today?" said the woman, from inside the booth, "I have to grade some term papers."
The woman stepped out, dressed in a plain white button down shirt with black bow and business skirt. she flicked her hand at her desk and a pair of purple cats-eye glasses floated towards her. She caught them and placed them on her face in a way that she probably thought was really cool. Blake wasn't jealous.
"Are you any other quasi-dieties?"
"Yes, actually." The woman adjusted her glasses and smiled, "There's not a lot of regular gigs for the other ones, but I'm also the Blue Fairy, for when someone wants to be 'made real'," The woman turned towards her dresser and waved her crop. A blue dress peaked out.
"And I'm the Red Queen for when evolution needs a driving factor." The woman did her wand thing and a red dress popped up out of the dresser.
"And I spent four weeks as a Stork before I swore I'd never take up the gig again-" The woman shivered. The dresser spat out something like a plague doctor outfit.
"Wait, if you were a Stork, shouldn't you have a better supply of pieces of the innocent?"
"Oh, you'd think so, but it turns out that you need empathy to have innocence and and self-awareness to have hope, and babies are just screeching hedonistic vessels of gluttony and avarice until they hit three years old or so." The woman shivered, "And even if they weren't, there is no way I'm ever bringing a bag of placentas and umbilical cords into battle. Eeeerrrughgh."
"What about the puberty fairy?
"Oh, you didn't know? 'Adulthood' is an infectious disease, spread by an intergalactic entropy vector."
Weiss winked. "No it's not," she said.
"Okay, you got me. But Puberty Fairies are called, " she said, "'Endocrinologists', for the people who don't grow up right."
"Are you also the Santaclause?"
"Ahahaha," the fairy laughed, "I already get paid to punish bad little girls, and the good ones give me presents."
Weiss winked. Blake blinked.
The part time tooth fairy waved the air. "That may have come out creepy. I assure you it's all consensual and legal."
Blake cleared her throat. "Intriguing," Blake rubbed her chin, "I'll use my question: how would one go about properly punishing bad little girls?"
Weiss's mouth wobbled. "W-why would you need to know that, Blake?" she lilted.
"Well," began the woman, "There are three kingdoms of sadomasochism; physical, emotional, and power-play."
Blake nodded, twice.
"Physical sadomasochism involves erotically causing pain. Some people, either because they were born that way or because they cultivated a mental association, derive pleasure from pain. It's usually in varying degrees, so some people are into knifeplay, while more people prefer not to break the skin. It's important to know what your sub is comfortable with."
"Most people, though, have a collection of nerves around their," The temporary tooth fairy turned and pointed to her butt, "aha, badonkadonk, so spanking in that area can trigger the pleasure response. regardless of their other kinks."
Blake nodded. Weiss's mouth wobbled.
"Emotional sadomasochism involves erotically hurting someone's feelings. A lot of people, mostly subconsciously, begin to associate sources of stress with sources of pleasure in a way to reclaim those experiences. Not all stress and not all people, and in some cases this creates an unhealthy negative feedback loop that makes breaking out of toxic mentalities much more difficult, but a lot of people adopt humiliation-play as a healthy outlet. Things like race-play fall into this category as well."
Blake's ears perked up. "race-play?"
Weiss twitched.
"That's an interesting subculture to unpack because, of course, it's dehumanizing to reduce an individual to racial characteristics, but sometimes consenting individuals will act out racially-charged situations in an erotic context. The reasons for such haven't been extensively explored under a critical lens, however, and in many cases it blurs the line between consensual sadomasochism thorough a racial lens and just a regular erotic situation in which one actor is being racist, unless it's a role-reversal race-play, which would have it's own ."
"'role-reversal'?"
"It's, admittedly, not a very useful term, as in any kinds of roleplay you'll find all kinds of people acting in all kinds of ways, which means there's really no assumption of roles to reverse in the first place, but 'role-reversal' can refer to a participant acting in a manner opposite of their usual demeanor, or of an individual who might have some cultural or societal baggage
"where does 'pet-play' fall under?"
Weiss squeaked and laughed at the same time, nervously. "W-where did you learn all these terms, Blakey?"
"Pet-play involves deriving eroticism from the dehumanizing aspects of owning and treating an individual like an animal. It falls under the third kingdom of BDSM; Power play, or mental sadomasochism, which encompasses a lot of aspects, but to give a quick overview, it's where the BD: bondage and discipline, and the DS: Dominance and Submission come in. Some people say the core principle of this kind of masochism is trust; in which a submissive finds someone they trust enough to have complete control over them. When you physically restrain someone with ropes and stuff, that's called 'bondage', while using institutional power structures to make people do stuff or act a certain way- consensually, of course- fall into the dominance and submission bit."
Weiss managed to keep her poker face.
"The desire to control someone else is more commonly understood, which ironically means less people have worked to phrase it in psychological terms."
Blake nodded.
"And that's the gist of it." The woman clasped her fingers together. "Does that answer your question?" she said to Blake.
"Interesting," Blake said, "So you're not actually punishing the other person, because they actually want to be punished."
"I think technically the definitions of those concepts allow them to coincide, but I get your broader point," the tooth collector pontificated, "and yes; ideally, you are correct."
"Also yes; there is a certain extent of cognitive dissonance involved." The freelance fairy smiled, "But some people adopt completely different personalities between jobs, you know? For example," The tooth fairy gestured to her collection of outfits, "There's some absolutely ruthless corporate executives that return home to be doting parents. Or kind, supportive managers who become nightmares to those close to them."
"It's like playing pretend," Weiss said. Then she clamped her hand over her mouth.
The woman pointed at Weiss. "Sure."
"Oh," said the part-time tooth fairy, "One more thing i just thought of; for some kinks, there's just no way they're going to be 100% safe, so they fall under RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kinks. If you've got the urge to do torture-play or anything involving fire or asphyxiation, you should try to be as safe as possible and make sure all parties are informed-"
"Oh! I probably should have led with this, but the most important part of BDSM is communication. Making sure both parties are ok with everything you do and you're never crossing boundaries and all."
Blake's face fell. "Oh."
"Yeah, Blakey isn't good at talking," Weiss said. She hugged Blake and laughed, awkwardly, "So I guess that sort of thing's not for you, huh Blake? Ahahahahaha." Weiss visibly sweated.
Blake tried to shoot Weiss a reassuring smile, but maybe it came out too glum. "Okay."
"Now, I've answered a question from each of you," Said the woman, "So you're going to have to leave now."
"Oh, okay," said Weiss.
"Now, we can't alter your memories without your consent-"
"You can't?"
"Because we're the good guys."
"But, can you alter memories?"
"But what I can do is try to wave my hands and hope," The woman said. She waved her hand, slowly, twice, in front of Weiss's face. "~You're going to think this was all just a dream~"
"I am?"
"~You're going to grow up to be a good huntress, and to never give into darkness~"
"Oh, I was planning on that actually-"
"~You want to attend 'Beacon Academy' for your secondary education~"
"Why not Atlas-"
"~this was not the theme park you were looking for~"
"I think that might be a copyright violatio- OH! Unless you actually work for-"
"~And you're going to lose consciousness riiiiight... now." There was a snap.
Weiss slumped.
Blake blinked.
The woman smirked and raised an eyebrow. She glanced down to her left hand-
Which was holding her wand, at her hip. It cracked with Dust.
"You seem far less innocent than is required for that to work," she said, "And too antisocial for it to be fun. So I'm just going to blast you. m'kay?"
Blake managed to dodge the first magic missile, but the tooth fairy shot a fan of them, and one purple orb dissipated into Blake. It felt tingly, and Blake felt drowsy.
And Blake drifted off to sleep.
Blake awoke. She was in the tent, with Weiss awkwardly hugging her. Awkward as in, Blake couldn't imagine being comfortable enough to fall asleep in the position Weiss was in.
"Oh, Blakey," Weiss mumbled. She then woke up and smooched Blake's head. She bid Blake to silently exit the tent.
Then the Young maid yawned awake.
"Hey," Weiss said to the maid, "Did the tooth fairy come for you?"
The young maid dug around the bed and pulled two envelopes. One of them had 'Blake Belladonna' written on the front.
"Oh yay!" Weiss yelled. "Hey mom! The tooth fairy came and corrected her mistake! I think!"
And Weiss's mom managed to be in earshot. Blake though that was suspicious.
Blake looked at the envelopes. They were slightly different. One smelled like zinc and wilted lilacs.
"Oh~" lilted Weiss's mother, "Is that so? I'm sure the tooth fairy realized that Blake's face bones are worth as much as yours, Weiss sweetie."
Blake opened the one addressed to her, the one with the faint but distinct smell. There was 75 lien and a note;
- Dear Blake,
- Looks like there was a mistake. Sorry about that.
- It is clear a lot of effort went into maintaining your teeth.
- Sincerely,
- The Tooth Fairy
Blake looked to Weiss's mother. The woman turned away as soon as Blake did, to make an unreadable face at the wall. (Over the years, Blake would note that every envelope she received, every time she received remuneration for her teeth, would smell the same way.)
"Mom, mom!" Weiss said, "We got to see the Tooth Fairy! I forget some of the things that happened, but we must have successfully plead our case and got back payment!" Weiss jumped at the feet of her mother.
Weiss's mother kneeled down and held her daughter's hands. "Oh, that's wonderful, Weiss sweetie! You did such a good job!"
"Yeah, there was a land of, like, fairies and rainbows and- and something about racks?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Weiss turned to the maid, "And you held the portal open for us, right?
The maid looked shifty. "I dunno 'bout that. I 'memeber dreaming 'bout," said the young maid, "A battlefield amoungst the poppies, with wooden golems and animal warriors."
Weiss frowned. "What about you, Blake? You remember, don't you?"
Blake blinked.
"i had a nightmare," Blake said.
"A- a nightmare?" Weiss said, "Oh no! That's not fun, Blake! That's not fun at all."
"about a princess turning into a grimm."
"Oh, poor Blakey!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake, and seemed to forget about finding proof for her adventure.
...
...
...
...
That was, until the Schnee residence received a bill for 1000 lien in damages to some sort of amusement park owned by an international corporation.
"Oh my gosh!" Weiss said, waving the bill, "Look, mom, an amusement park? Maybe it's Corporate Mouse Land! Maybe it does exist! And the tooth fairy lives there!"
Mum Schnee put on her poker face.
Blake tried to look nonchalant.