Hello lovelies! Apologies for going on hiatus again for like… seven months… yeah, I uh, meant to finish and post that chapter like back in January (why I talk about NaNoWriMo)… so anyway, just in case you loyal few readers (seriously if you have been following me for a while congratulations, you have more faith in me than I do) what I am calling 'hate' was basically the only not nice comment I've received – and it was in fact very rude – but it was not something I would let affect me (like it had nothing to do with the leave of absence, I assure you). Again, thank you for not only reading my work, but sticking around this long, you have no idea how much that means to me. Love y'all!
P.S. Surprise! Valentine was evil(ish) all along! If it seems like it came out of nowhere it kind of did (it was not the original plan). Anyway, everyone's at least 16-17ish so I can finally get to like what I want to. Love y'all!
[edit] P.P.S. I usually don't edit ANs after I write them, which I kind of explained but not really (it's the reason all my Ans are so out of date). Also, I don't think I ever officially said this, but this is an AU… so yeah. Love y'all
Clary's P.O.V.
"Congratulations Alec," Clary said, kissing his cheek as the camera snapped. "School's going to be lonely without you next year."
Alec grinned and scooped her up for another picture. "No it won't, you'll still have Izzy and Simon to keep you company, lord knows Izzy's more than enough company by herself."
Clary shook her head, her graduation cap falling off. She couldn't believe she was entering her junior year while Alec was graduation and heading off to NYU. "Yes it will, it was extremely lonely without Magnus this year, don't deny it."
Alec's cheeks flushed pink. "Yes, well Magnus is more than enough company by himself as well, of course his lack of presence is always felt."
Clary looked over at Robert and Mayrse who were looking over the pictures. "You should tell them," she said as he set her down. They continued to play the game, letting the parents think that Clary and Alec liked each other. Robert had looked like he would have an aneurism when Alec attempted to come out his sophomore year. Thankfully Maryse yelled at him about what if Alec turned out to be gay – not that she thought Alec was gay – and Robert had slowly changed his attitude, just recently announcing that if Alec or Izzy were gay – not that he thought either of them were – that he would still love them, and it would not change his opinion of his children. Everyone, specifically Alec, was still more than a little uncertain of Robert's reaction if he ever did find out Alec was actually gay, but it was nice to see that he was able to change and keep a somewhat open mind.
Alec shrugged, "I've thought about it, but I don't want to ruin my graduation. They're so happy of me choosing their alma mater, I don't want the one time they're genuinely proud of me to be crushed."
"Your parents have always been proud of you Alec," Clary said crossing her arms. "I know Roberts particularly a fickle, but he loves you and I think he really means it when he says you being gay wouldn't' change his opinion of you. It's the perfect time to tell them, right before you go off to college."
Alec sighs. "Yeah but what are they going to think of me going off to college with my boyfriend, who I've been lying to them about for about the past six years of my life?"
"Congratulations?" Clary tired, she had a feeling she wasn't going to manage to convince Alec tonight. "I just want you to be happy Alec," she said.
"I know," Alec said smiling down at her. "And I love you for it, now go off and have some fun, this party technically isn't just for me."
"Yes, it is," Clary said, walking over to where Izzy was cutting the graduation cake.
"I was just about to leave, where have you been?" Clary asked Jace when he finally appeared in the clearing. He looked better the last few years than before, less bruises, not as thin. Clary didn't know what happened but Jace looked like he was actually being taken care of for once in his life, she supposed she should be happy about it.
"I didn't think you would come," Jace answered back. "Aren't you supposed to be at a party? Alec's graduation party? Like as his unofficial girlfriend?"
"Party ended early because Maryse dropped her camera," Clary explained. Jace raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing her. "Fine, she dropped her camera because Alec kissed Magnus full on the lips in front of everyone. So there, I didn't do anything."
"I missed Alec coming out?" Jace asked, sounding a little sad about it.
"You missed me coming out to my parents," Alec corrected, Clary turned around to see Alec, Izzy, Simon, and Magnus all walking into the clearing. "It wasn't worth much though. They're just in shock. Unfortunately, the rest of us couldn't escape as fast as Clary, here." he pretended to give her a look.
"We brought you cake," Simon said cheerfully, holding up the box of cake he was carrying.
"You guys didn't have to do that," Jace said trying to wave them off.
"Of course we did!" Izzy chirped. "You're our friend too, Jace. It wouldn't be the same without you."
They all sat down in a circle and started divvying out the cake, Alec had been smart enough to bring paper plates and plastic utensils.
"I brought drinks!" Magus exclaimed, holding up a bottle sparkling cider, Alec rolled his eyes and pulled out some Dixie cups as well.
"This is so much better than any stupid part," Simon said, mouth full of cake, everyone nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, but we need some games!" Izzy complained, downing her gulp of cider.
"Spin the bottle!" Magnus suggested, waving the now empty bottle.
"Really?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes!" Izzy exclaimed over her brother. "Who goes first?"
"Wait, how do you play spin the bottle?" Jace asked, looking flustered.
"It's basically in the name." Simon piped up, swallowing his cake. "You spin the bottle and whoever it lands on, you kiss."
"It's a kissing game?!" Clary didn't think she had even seen Jace this embarrassed. Simon snickered but Izzy smacked him.
"You don't have to play if you don't want to," Clary told him. "And if you're really uncomfortable we'll just play a different game."
Jace muttered something indignantly. Clary rolled her eyes, and everyone took it as Jace's ego not letting him say no. "I'll go first!" Izzy giggled, setting the bottle on the cake box and giving it a whirl. It landed on Magnus.
"Okay, pucker up Sparkles!" Izzy said, making her way over to Magnus.
"Sparkles?" Jace asked sarcastically, but Clary could tell eh was trying to hide his awkward discomfort. Every now and then she forgot that Jace had grown up without pop culture or even regular human interaction.
"Shut up!" Magnus playfully snapped at him. It didn't even end up being a real kiss, it was the thing girls did in cheesy movies where they'd kiss each other's cheeks.
"Are we going in a circle?" Simon asked. "Or are we going on whoever the bottle lands on."
"Circle, in case the bottle likes someone." Izzy said winking.
Simon was next and it landed on Alec, who looked very unamused. "Okay, so how do we uh-" Simon started.
"Just because I'm gay does not mean I'm attracted to you." Alec deadpanned.
"No! Of course not! I just- I mean-" before Simon could finish Alec had crawled over to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him hard. Simon pulled back after a moment in a daze. "I think I might be gay." He muttered. Alec rolled his eyes and returned to his spot.
"My Lightwood!" Magnus swatted at Simon. "You have your own!"
"Kinky!" Jace commented, wagging his eyebrows.
"I'm uncomfortable by the fact I may have turned Simon gay," Alec stated.
Izzy rolled her eyes, "Please, Simon's the most obvious pansexual to pansexual on the planet. He still skypes George Lovelace daily even though they only met once for half an hour at a college tour."
"Izzy!" Simon cried. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone!" Jace snickered.
"They're having a wedding in June if anyone's interested." Izzy continued.
"What I talk about on Skype is none of their business and none of yours!" Simon interjected.
"Wait you've actually planned your wedding?" Alec asked laughing.
"Not our wedding together! Just, what our individual weddings would be like… It just so happens that we agree on a lot of stuff." Simon flushed red and Jace was clutching his stomach in a fit of laughter.
"Oh Simon, you poor hopeless romantic you," Clary shook her head. "I do hope I'm the maid of honor."
"Sweetie, you are not going to have a higher spot than me at my boyfriends own wedding, I'm the maid of honor. You're walking Simon down the aisle." Izzy said, crossing her arms.
Simon was hiding behind his hands, everyone else was laughing. "Okay, okay, the picking on Simon quota is filled for the day, back to the game." Magnus said shushing everyone. He spun the bottle and it landed on Jace.
"HA!" Simon laughed obnoxiously and pointing. "Karma's a bitch!" Jace had gone white as death and looked very horrified.
"Oh come now, don't look like that when you have the rare opportunity to kiss the magnificent moi," Magnus clicked. Jace let out a strangled noise from the back of his through at a response.
"Jace, you don't have to play if you don't want to," Alec offered.
"No," Jace said swallowing. "I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to do this."
"Jace…" Clary asked timidly. "You haven't kissed anyone before, have you?"
Everyone went quiet and Simon stopped laughing. "Jace," Magnus said softly. "Really, you don't have to do this. We're not going to make fun of you. You're our friend."
Jace set his jaw stubbornly. "If I'm going to have a first kiss, it might as well be as memorable as this, pucker up, Sparkles."
Magnus raised an eyebrow, but Jace seemed determined. The kiss was awkward and neither Magnus nor Jace looked like they enjoyed it afterward. Simon had gone back to laughing again (everyone was laughing after the look on Jace's face).
Clary went next and the bottle landed on Izzy. "Everyone's kissing the wrong Lightwood," Magnus teased, earning a smack from his boyfriend.
"Come here wifey," Izzy said grinning. Clary had kissed girls before in games like this, but she'd never kissed Izzy. Izzy on the other hand seemed to like kissing girls just a little too much to be completely straight.
"Okay honey-poo," Clary played along, causing Izzy to cackle.
"On our wedding we shall both wear gold and purple like the queens we are," the raven-haired girl announced.
"Are we getting married in June with George and Simon?" Clary asked, making Simon's laughter go to choking.
"Of course we are! Now kiss!" Izzy grabbed Clary by her waist and kissed her fiercely.
"OTP, biscuit!" Magnus said as the two girls pulled away. "We can all have a big gay wedding, me and Alec, Simon and George, and you and Izzy."
"Sorry Magnus, but I'm not sharing a wedding with you or Izzy," Clary said, earning an indignant overdramatic gasp from the two of them. "What? You both are going to be bridezillas and dealing with one of you will be bad enough. I won't be juggling both of you on the same day, especially not on my wedding."
There was a grumbled "true" by both of them, though it could barely be heard over Alec and Simon's laughing. Jace on the other hand had an odd expression on his face and he seemed very hard not to look at Clary to any lengths possible while also staring directly at her.
Alec calmed down after a minute (unlike Simon who was still giggling uncontrollably) and flicked the bottle, spinning it like a top until it finally stopped on Jace. "The bottle likes you, Jace," Magnus teased.
"You'd better kiss me better than you did my boyfriend," Alec joked.
"I can't guarantee that you won't end up with glitter in your mouth," Jace quipped back.
"The bottle's going to land on Magnus for your turn," Simon warned in a sing-song voice.
"Shut up, Lewis! Or I'll kiss you next," Jace dared.
"Is that a promise?" Simon poked?
Jace rolled his eyes and kissed Alec, it went better than his one with Magnus. "I know now what Simon means by being turned gay by Alec's kissing," Jace said, falling onto his back.
"Your gay is contagious, Alec," Clary laughed.
"Nah, he's just a really good kisser," Magnus said, kissing his unamused boyfriend on the cheek.
"I wish I was a good enough kisser to make people change their sexuality," Simon said wistfully.
"You do make people change their sexualities," Jace answered. "You open your mouth and suddenly gay guys are straight and straight girls are lesbian."
"Haha," Simon said mockingly. "But I have a Skype boyfriend to prove you wrong."
"So you admit you're getting married in June!" Izzy cried triumphantly.
"We're not getting married before we're out of school!" Simon exclaimed back.
Izzy ignored him and yelled "victory!" while shoving her mouth full of cake.
"I don't wanna wait that long to get married," Magnus fake whined.
"We're not all getting married on the same day," Clary reminded him, Magnus looked delighted.
"Oh right! Let's get married right now, Alexander!" he said, jumping up.
"Get married after we finish the game," Izzy said, washing down frosting with a gulp of apple cider. "Your turn Jace," she said, nudging him.
Jace sat back up and gave the bottle a whirl, Clary followed the neck lazily until it was staring straight at her. She could feel her face burn and her eyes refused to meet Jace's. Izzy gave a loud hoot. "Better get this over with," Jace said. Clary finally looked over at him to find he was already standing up. "I'm sure you'll be a much better kiss than Magnus."
"But not as good as Alec," Simon interjected, getting elbowed in return by said Alec.
"I don't know if I could ever live up to Magnus," Clary said, forcing herself to look Jace in the face, he seemed to be flushing just as badly as she was. She hadn't felt this awkward playing this game since the first time she'd played it back in eighth grade.
Jace was a good head taller than her and since they were both standing up she had to get on her tiptoes to kiss him. Their lips brushed softly and Clary thought that was it until she felt Jace wrap his arms around her waist to pull her closer. Clary wrapper her arms around his neck as their lips pressed together harder. It wasn't until a few loud wolf whistles that she realized Jace's tongue was in her mouth and her fingers had curled into his hair.
At the same time both of them jerked apart like the other burned. Simon was clapping and Izzy gave another whistle. Clary felt her whole body go red as her hair and she turned back to Jace who was staring at her like he'd seen a ghost. Without another word, Jace turned and bolted back towards the fence, leaving everyone silent and stunned.
Clary slowly brought her fingers to her lips, wondering if she'd imagined everything.
Jace's P.O.V.
Jace felt like a coward for running. It really wasn't that big of a deal. It was just a kiss.
Except it wasn't just a kiss.
What had happened with Magnus was just a kiss. What had happened with Alec was just a kiss.
But what had happened with Clary was so much more.
Clary was the first person he'd ever met outside of his family and for a while she was one of literally three people in his life. She was the reason he was now friends with Alec and Izzy (and Simon and Magnus). She'd brought so much good and happiness to him. More than he probably deserved.
So then why did he decide to ruin it?
Jace had liked Clary for a long time. Practically from the moment he'd met her. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was basically the only option he had, but he liked to believe it was more than that.
Clary was smart and stubborn and kind and beautiful. She was possibly the most important person in the world to him and definitely the person he loved the most. And they were friends, they had a wonderful friendship that was going on eight years.
And then he went and ruined it.
It wasn't the fact that he liked Clary that was the problem, he could hide it. In fact he thought he'd done a pretty good job at hiding it too (he'd had a lot of practice hiding his true feelings, growing up with Sebastian).
He ruined it by kissing her and let it start to get beyond just kissing her. And she knew it was beyond a kiss to him. Magnus, Izzy, and Simon knew, Alec probably knew.
It was just supposed to be a game, a dumb game where everyone made fun of Simon and occasionally Magnus. What was supposed to have happened was he quickly kissed Clary, Izzy rolled and possibly got her boyfriend, Magnus might get Simon, Simon would get him. That's what should have been happening at the moment, he was supposed to be antagonizing Simon about kissing him. Instead he was standing he was standing at a fence after running off like a coward.
Jace shook his head, Clary had looked so mortified when he'd pulled back and looked at her. Was she really that embarrassed by what had happened? He didn't blame her.
Clary never spoke of any boyfriends (partially because everyone thought she was dating Alec, so guys didn't really approach her), but Simon and Izzy and even Magnus and Alec talked about kids at school they liked. Jace couldn't recall one instance where Clary talked about a cute boy. Simon, Izzy, and Magnus teased her occasionally, but that's all Jace ever heard of it.
But she had to have someone she liked, he knew from Izzy that there were a lot more guys interested in her than she was aware of. If she hadn't been helping cover for Alec, she'd most definitely have some sort of boyfriend. He shouldn't let his dreams get so far away from him. Because that's all it was, a wistful dream that would never happen. He could never be with Clary; the circumstances of their relationship were too… not normal. Their lives were too different.
Magus had gone off to college last year and Jace suddenly realized that Father had never once mentioned college to him or Sebastian. Alec was graduation this year and he was the same age as Sebastian, yet it didn't look like his brother was going to be leaving any time soon. Clary, Izzy, and Simon would be gone soon enough and Jace would still be stopping by the clearing even though he knew they were gone, hoping and waiting that maybe by a miracle one of them (even Simon) would stop by.
Raking his hands through his hair, Jace pushed those thought aside and wondered what he'd end up giving as a pathetic excuse for an explanation. He vaulted over the fence, feeling a sharp sing in his hands, but not realizing what it was until he looked at his palms and saw the blood.