Disclaimer: Not mine!

-The Following Week-

"I-I only wanted my father to love me!"

"Well if he doesn't see how awesome you are, then his loss! Come on, you volunteered to go undercover as a spy in an enemy nation, knowing that getting caught would get you killed as the best alternative, what more did he expect from you to show his pride?"

Anko, Ibiki, Inoichi and more than a dozen other T&I personnel could only watch, a baffled and incredulous silence hanging around them, as Uzumaki Naruto 'interrogated' the Iwa spy that they had found a couple of days earlier, an unexpected but very much welcome consequence of Nabe's interrogation.

Who knew following the money would lead to treason?

Everyone with even a bit of common sense. But that's beside the point.

Arienichi Makino, most known throughout the population of Konoha as Anadera Maki, a jounin-ranked Kunoichi from Iwagakure no Sato, living as a spy for 12 years, having managed to emigrate a few months before the Kyuubi attack, was currently baring her heart open for the leaf shinobi in charge of interrogating her, tears running down her face.

Naruto pushed a box of tissues forward, allowing her to take some and wipe her eyes and blow her nose, before speaking up.

"You're really amazing, Makino-chan! I'm just some dumb blonde 12 year old and I can see that, why wouldn't a war veteran with more years of service than I have of life not see it? Because he's an asshole, that's why! But you can be better than him! Instead of following in his footsteps, you could rise above! You know that the information you have on Iwa's operations could save the life of many. Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters. People whose families would actually miss. Not an old fart who could only say 'about time you were useful' when his daughter makes jounin in less than 6 months of chunin work!"

Blowing her nose again, Makino let out a sigh of despair, before speaking in a defeated tone.

"What's the point? After I gave away the information I have, I'd probably get sent to the darkest, deepest pit, alone again. Like always. Remembering his words every day, calling me a failure, an embarrassment to the family name. Telling me I should've died instead of my mother during my birth! I'll always be alone!"

"NO!"

Naruto's hands slamming the steel table hard, and his loud bark, caused Makino and everyone watching to jump in surprise, before he gave Makino an intense look. His sapphire-colored eyes seemed to be backlit by an inner fire as he took both of Makino's hands into his own, squeezing them reassuringly, before he spoke with an intense expression, his tone bereft of any deceit.

"Makino-chan, if you give this information, I promise to use all the power and pull I have to make your… accommodations… as comfortable as possible, and I promise to visit you as often as possible! This I promise, and Uzumaki Naruto doesn't go back on his promises! That's my nindo, my ninja way!"

"Y-you'd really do so much for me…"

"You're my friend, of course I would!"

Makino responded by throwing herself around Naruto, giving him the tightest of hugs, before breaking out in sobs.

Naruto rubbed her back through all of this, cooing soothing words into her ear until her body stopped shaking. She leaned back, taking a few more tissues from the box to wipe her face clean, before Naruto gave her a warm, friendly smile.

His intense, emotive, bright blue eyes, his shining, blonde hair, his bright, massive, eye-reaching grin and the lingering feeling of his body from the hug caused her heart to speed up, a blush tinting her face even as she looked slightly to the side in embarrassment, before Naruto spoke in a soothing tone.

"A friend of mine will come in here to get your statements, Makino-chan. After that, I'll bring you a bowl of the best ramen to ever grace history, and then I'll see to it that you're comfortable. You just have to cooperate with me, okay?"

Her blush reached a whole new proportion as she stuttered out.

"H-Hai…"

Grinning at her once again, Naruto gave her a hug with his full exuberance, before walking out of the interrogation room backwards, both his hands behind his head and his grin on display at all times, before he stepped out of the room and closed the door.

When he turned to the window he witnessed the looks of reverence, bafflement, and sheer awe in everyone's faces, before Anko broke the silence.

"I TOLD YOU MY CUTE LITTLE MINION WAS AWESOME! NOW FORK OVER THE CASH!"

The various disgruntled members of the information department handed rolls of Ryo to Anko, who split the money in half to share with her charge.

Ibiki snorted at the all-too-predictable Anko response, even as he eyed Naruto with nothing short of respect. He and Anko had only been coaching the boy for a week, and he managed to make a defiant Kunoichi from their staunchest enemy, willing to die for Kage and village, fully open up to him, telling him about her childhood, her relationship with her father, and much more in only 2 hours of friendly conversation.

2 HOURS!

That was freaking ridiculous. And terrifying. This… this talent had to be fully exposed! If all of their T&I targets were made to part with information so easily and willingly, their information department would pretty much eclipse all the other villages! Sending their spies to Konoha would be more dangerous for them than for Konoha itself, with their most capable infiltrators and intelligence officers constantly defecting and giving away village secrets.

One thing was certain. As soon as Naruto got promoted, he'd try to snag him for the T&I department. Even if he failed, he'd see about having him as an outside contractor.

The most amazing part was that he saw no deception, neither from Naruto, nor from the spy!

Naruto had, simply being himself, in two hours, managed to charm an enemy into defection!

Shrugging off these ridiculous thoughts, Ibiki went into the interrogation room with his tape recorder and notebook, ready to write down everything said by the woman to make sure that every scrap of information was analyzed from all possible angles.

-Break-

Making his way through the throng of people trying to pick Naruto's brain for information extraction (or, in some cases, seduction), Yamanaka Inoichi, the current head of the Yamanaka clan, stretched his hand out, introducing himself with a friendly smile and look to the boy.

"Hey there, I'm…"

"Yamanaka Inoichi, Jounin of Konoha, head of the analysis team of the village's Intelligence Division, former head interrogator of Konoha. The current head of the Yamanaka clan, you're proficient in the use of the clan's various mind-related jutsu. You're a veteran and survivor of the 3rd great shinobi war, a member of the 15th generation Ino-Shika-Cho squad, and the father of Yamanaka Ino, 12 years old, 2nd place in the Academy Kunoichi rankings, and 5th overall, and currently a member of team 10, composed of Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji and herself, under the tutelage of Sarutobi Asuma.

Your birthday is on the 24th of January, you are currently 38 years old, measure in at 180cm (5.9ft) in height, 69kg (152lbs) in weight, your blood type is AB and you're a sensor-type ninja. Your shinobi registration number is 005492 and you are the proprietor of Yamanaka flowers."

…Or at least tried to, before the kid gave out an info dump on him. More than just a bit wary of this, and with his attention completely peaked, Inoichi favored a sheepish smile even as he retracted his hand, scratching the back of his head as he spoke in an easy tone.

"It seems you have me at a disadvantage, as you know much about me, yet I know little."

Favoring him with a flat stare, Naruto spoke in the blankest tone possible.

"Liar~"

He stretched the word out for quite a few seconds, before he kept speaking with the same flat stare.

"You know everything about me that the village has on file that you have clearance to. Seen as you're a jounin, the head analyst and a clan head, your clearance seems to be pretty damn high. The only ones to know as much about me as you are probably the other clan heads, and the Hokage. Trying to dig for info that you already know is a waste of time."

Inoichi's apprehension was replaced for a measure of respect, his sheepish smile replaced with a shrewd look as he spoke.

"Impressive. Aside from having all of the info about me that isn't 'strictly' illegal for someone in your position to know, you pretty much tell me that you know the entire council is constantly appraised of all matters involving you, and you seem to take it very well, with not even a bit of discomfort. Your composure is commendable."

Shrugging, Naruto pulled an apple from his pocket, took a bite of it and swallowed before speaking again.

"I'm a Jinchuuriki. The moment I learned of this, and of the true value of information, I expected something like that to occur. I'm not really worried about it, however, because there's no evidence of wrongdoing on my record."

"You say that there's no evidence, not that you did not commit any wrong acts."

"Hey, the villagers won't prank themselves, you know?"

"Is that an admission of guilt?"

"Not at all."

The two blue-eyed blondes locked gazes, the older, taller one with his arms crossed over his chest and his face set on a thoughtful frown, while the younger, shorter, hotter one…

'Heh, way to toot your own horn!'

'S-shut up, Kurama! That internal monologue wasn't meant for you!'

…HOTTER one kept eating his fruit peacefully, now working on devastating a pear, his gaze unwavering, yet nonchalant.

Then, Inoichi broke the silence.

"Were you being honest when talking to that Iwa woman?"

Naruto gave him an outraged look, before answering in an equally outraged tone.

"Of course I was! Do you think I'm the kind of person to make a promise they won't fulfill?"

Watching Naruto's response and body language, Inoichi let out a small nod, before favoring Naruto with a small, genuine smile.

"A genuine person like you is a rarity in today's world, Uzumaki-san."

"No need for that 'Uzumaki-san' crap, Ino's dad, my name is Naruto! Na-ru-to!"

Shaking his head lightly, his small smile turning somewhat wistful as he thought back to memories of a certain red-haired, friendly, irreverent young woman, and a charismatic blond man who inspired trust in others, Inoichi responded in a tone with more tenderness and fondness than anyone would've thought he would for a first meeting with anyone.

"Very well, I shall call you by your given name, as long as you call me by my own as well. Is that fine with you, Naruto?"

"Sure, Girly-hair!"

Sweatdropping heavily, and with a massive vein throbbing on his forehead, Inoichi angrily thought to himself.

'A trait from her that he could have done without… But as they say, blood stays true…'

Inoichi's angry face changed into one of remembrance again, before he let out a rueful chuckle and spoke up.

"Why couldn't my baby girl have fallen for someone like you, instead of that Uchiha boy?"

Tossing away the peel of the banana that Inoichi hadn't noticed him ever starting out on, Naruto tilted his head to the side, before responding.

"Ehhhhhhh~… I'm actually pretty glad that Ino doesn't have a crush on me. Whenever she's talking about 'Sasuke-kun~' she gets this scary look in her eye… Thank Log I don't have to deal with that."

His sentence was followed by a full-body shudder, while Inoichi could only stream tears inwardly.

'Why me?'

Not being the one with freaky mind-invasion powers, Naruto was unaware of Inoichi's thoughts as he shrugged again, before absentmindedly speaking out loud.

"That's one of the few aspects that I pity Sasuke on, you know. I mean, he's a bastard and all, but having girls chasing after you 24/7, constantly shrieking in his ears, claiming to love him without even knowing him… Pretty sad."

Inoichi listened to Naruto's words with interest.

"If I had to have a… Fangirl… then the best possibility would be someone not really disruptive. On the other hand, they say that it's the quiet ones you should be wary of, and I read enough novels and manga advertising the dangers of a Yandere, so… Yeah, terrifying. Thank god I don't have to worry about fangirls."

-Training Field 8, Team 8 training session-

Hinata froze in the middle of a palm strike towards Kiba, causing the Inuzuka clan member to falter, and the Kurenai and Shino to focus on her, worried about any possible reason that could have caused her to stop.

Suddenly, they saw a dangerous glint light up in her eyes that sent a sense of unmitigated terror down their spines, before vanishing altogether in an instant, prompting the members of team 8 to ask themselves if it was ever there in the first place.

Each of them disregarded it as nothing more than a trick of their mind, though the sheer fear they felt for a second lingered in their subconscious.

-T&I Dungeons-

Naruto felt a massive chill go down his spine, one mimicked by Kurama, before speaking in his mind.

'I just totally jinxed myself, right?'

'Yep. Screwed the pooch good, you did.'

'Log damnit.'

Watching the boy, Inoichi gave him a bemused look as he froze mid-step, his body shaking for an instant, before he started sweating copiously. Shrugging, the blonde man ignored this odd behavior as he exited the dungeons, making and discarding various plans to shift his daughter's affection towards a less… Murder-y… character.

A second, even bigger shudder moved through Naruto's spine, causing him to cry inwardly at the impending feeling of doom.

-Training field 8… Again-

Having gone back to sparring with Hinata, Kiba was completely surprised when the kind Hyuuga got a look of murderous rage on her face, stepping in hard and covering the distance between the two of them in less than a second, delivering a staggering amount of Jyuuken strikes to his torso, blasting him backwards onto his back, letting out a pained groan.

The girl's face seemed to shift abruptly from anger to confusion, before settling into her usual shy expression, her fingers poking together as a blush covered her face.

Kurenai and Akamaru were giving Hinata incredulous, open-mouthed looks, while Shino adjusted his glasses a bit more jerkily than usual, his swarm buzzing louder than normal.

Kiba was still seeing stars on the ground.

That day, the entirety of team 8 decided to always do their best in accommodating Hinata, ease her edge off.

Plus, in case she cracked, at least she wouldn't see them as prey.

-The following day, Training field 10-

"Fucking unbelievable…"

Anko could only mutter in disbelief as Naruto stretched with an ease that she didn't display until her 6th month of training with… Him.

It was nowhere near her level of nimbleness of flexibility, but to get this far in a single week… The kid was freaking unbelievable!

"That's freaking unbelievable!"

…And she made sure that Naruto knew her thoughts.

The blonde gave her a knowing smile even as he pulled his right arm over and behind his head, grabbed it with his left hand, and then stretched it.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, unbelievable and me go hand in hand."

'Unbelievable and I.'

'Yeah, you're pretty amazing too, Kurama!'

'No, I meant- You know what, never mind.'

Coming out of his mental conversation, Naruto turned towards Anko.

"So, what're we doing today?"

The purplette rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she thought out loud.

"Well, I'd take you back to the dungeons, but the other interrogators are complaining about you taking their jobs, and Ibiki might not want to let you leave…"

Naruto sweatdropped at that, while Anko kept speaking.

"I'd take you to one of my favorite stomping grounds, but it's currently being prepared for an important even pretty soon. Normally I don't care about stuff like that, but the old man made me promise that I wouldn't take you there so soon, so… I guess we're getting a mission!"

"We're not doing… D-ranks, are we?"

Naruto's use of the term 'D-rank' simultaneously spoke of fear, respect, disgust and consternation. Reveling on Naruto's uncomfortable status, a mirror to her own a few days earlier, Anko let a silence stretch out between the two of them, before quelling his fears.

"Nah, brat. I get my way, and we're going straight for…"

-Hokage's office, 15 minutes later-

"B-RANKS!? ARE YOU INSANE!?"

Putting her thumb and forefinger together with a tiny gap between them, Anko drawled out.

"Lil' bit."

Iruka shook his head vehemently, his arms crossed over his chest in an X.

"No, Nu-Uh, Nope, Never!"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, the scarred chunin spoke up.

"He's just graduated the academy! As the dead-last, no less!"

Giving Naruto a somewhat sorry look, he kept speaking.

"Not to try and bring him down, but Naruto isn't ready for this! He didn't even have the time to be halfway, or a third of the way there! He's been a genin for less than a month. He hasn't even done a single D-rank! Heck, it'd be less bad if you asked for a C-rank, but even then it'd be absurd, and foolhardy! It is total-"

"Do you truly believe him to be ready, Anko?"

Everyone in the room turned towards the pensive form of the Sandaime, Naruto with an expectant look, Anko with a confident one, and Iruka with a betrayed one.

"Lord Hokage, surely you aren't considering-…"

"Yeah, old man, the brat's good for a B-rank. I sparred with him a few days ago, and he genuinely gave me some work. This, added to the week that I've had to kick his ass into gear and improve his taijutsu, while he forced the basics into his own head via clones-"

And damn if Anko wasn't startled by that amount of blondies, more chakra in use than she probably expended in a year.

"-And the work he put in T&I giving credence to his mental state and his stability, this verified by Inoichi himself make me believe that it wouldn't be too far-fetched to have him as my partner in an assignment of such level. Heck, he's probably Chunin-level at least in skill. Give him some field time for added experience, and if he keeps abusing this force multiplier, he could get as strong as me in say… 5-6 years."

Naruto gave the smugly grinning Anko a glare with no real heat behind it, while Hiruzen only smiled inwardly at the interactions between the two, seeing Anko and Naruto truly opening up to one another, without the former's constant 'psycho-bitch' persona - 'Well, at least I think it's a persona. No, yeah, it's a persona. Probably. Maybe.' - being on display, and without Naruto's overly loud and noisy side putting in a presence, despite his natural… exuberance, making it easier for him not to inadvertently annoy or irritate people on a short-term basis, and getting him higher results for his 9 in Charisma in making friends and allies quickly, and easily.

Nodding at that, Hiruzen spoke up.

"I will respect the opinion of one of my best and most loyal and give the two of you a B-rank…"

Iruka's eyes almost fell off his face from how wide they were, Anko smirked widely and Naruto was doing some odd dance in the corner of the office, causing the ANBU to collectively sweatdrop, before Hiruzen spoke up in a stern tone.

"But remember that it is your responsibility to guide him for the duration of the mission, Anko. Mind your mutual limits, do not take unnecessary risks, and cover each other's backs. If I discover that any of you got hurt for something avoidable, I will be much… displeased."

The manner in which Hiruzen said the last word sent chills down everyone's spines, causing Naruto and Anko to nod rapidly.

Sighing in exasperation and worry, Iruka placed his hand on Naruto's head and ruffled the blonde's hair, managing to get a half-hearted scowl from him in the process, before speaking up.

"Come back in one piece, okay? I want my ramen-eating partner intact."

Naruto gave Iruka a thumbs up paired with a massive grin, a glint of light reflecting off of his teeth and causing everyone in the room to recoil in slight horror as he inadvertently mimicked the nice guy pose, before he spoke up in a booming tone.

"Don't worry, Iruka-sensei! I'll kick so much ass during this mission that it won't even be funny! Whether it be in fighting, hiding, getting information or even running away, I'll do all of it with the most effort I can! My YOUTH shall burn bri-"

Naruto's words were interrupted when Anko gave him a good whack with the blunt end of a Kunai to the back of the head, causing the blonde to trip in place, before blinking back into awareness.

Looking up as he rubbed the back of his head, Naruto spoke up to the horrified-looking people in the room.

"Oh man, what happened to me? One second we were talking about me kicking ass, the next one I've got a huge headache."

Hiruzen leaned forwards in worry, examining Naruto's eyebrows to make sure they weren't growing, and his hair to make sure it wasn't taking the shape of a bowl, before speaking up.

"Do you not remember what happened in the last few seconds, Naruto-kun?"

Shaking his head with visible frustration, Naruto answered.

"Not really. Ever since I started taking my training seriously, I've had these lapses of seconds in my memory."

Everyone blanched further at that, with Hiruzen getting a feeling that Minato's picture was, despite its friendly-looking smile, glaring at him. Making use of this lull in the conversation, Naruto decided to consult with his friendly neighborhood voice-in-his-head.

'Hey Kurama, what happened?'

'G-green… So much green…'

Sweatdropping at the fox's traumatized tone, Naruto broke the silence again.

"So, I'll just go and get my stuff ready for the mission. I'll… Yeah."

And like that, he left the office.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Iruka, Hiruzen and Anko traded equally horrified looks, with Hiruzen speaking up with a level of panic and hysteria in his voice.

"W-we must not allow this to happen! Anko, I want you to make sure to destroy anything related to youth in Naruto's possession! Make sure he and Gai don't get extended periods of contact. If Gai tries to corrupt Naruto, beat the crap out of him! We'll have to sort out this situation after you guys return from your mission."

That said, Hiruzen plucked a scroll from the B-rank stack and flicked it at the still-horrified Anko, whom snagged it out of the air out of sheer instinct, before making her way out of the office in a daze.

Hiruzen pulled out his pipe and hastily and unsteadily loaded in his tobacco, while Iruka pulled out a set of prayer beads from somewhere in his person and started asking for help from anyone willing to listen.

Thus ended the weirdest mission assignment in Konoha's history.

-Chapter End-