Blake was just relaxing, today. She was on her side, her arms and legs in front of her, criss-crossed. She was at peace.

But that changed when Weiss walked into the room.

"Blakey nooooo~~", Weiss called out.

And from where she was sitting, mashing her hands into the clacky machine, staring into a glowing rectangle, on the nearby dinner table, Mum Schnee flinched, almost imperceptibly.

Weiss ran over to where Blake lay.

And she was a little annoyed because Weiss had awoken her from the sort of half-dreaming sleep you fall into when you try to sleep when you don't physiologically need sleep but want to lie down still with your eyes closed anyway.

Weiss picked Blake up by the armpits and faced her.

Blake blinked.

"Moooo ooomm~" Weiss said, as she hefted Blake over her shoulder and brought her to a nearby couch.

"Yes, Weiss sweetie?"

"Blake doesn't go on the ground! You should know that by now~."

Mum Schnee blinked. "I think the meanings of everything in that sentence are ambiguous enough that to create certainty in any regard, including the one you wish to, is impossible."

"No, I mean, Blake," Weiss sat Blake up on the couch. Blake tried to lean sideways, but Weiss kept her propped up, "Blake is a person, and thus, she should go on seats and stuff; not the ground."

"I think matters of personal identity are irrelevant to the already fallacious argument that there are places coincident to which an individual entity should or should not exist."

"No, mom- while I'm gone, you have to promise me, that you'll make sure that Blakey doesn't go on the ground!" Weiss then resumed tying a tie around the collar of her shirt.

Weiss's mother blinked. "Weiss. Sweetie. Blake is an autonomous entity. I do not have control over her location."

To demonstrate such, Blake leaned on her side, so she was lying in the couch.

"Yes you do! See-" Weiss picked Blake up again and propped her up on the couch. Blake tried to lean sideways again- harder this time- but Weiss then pushed her back up. "Like that! So, can you promise me, while I'm away, that you'll make sure Blake doesn't go on the ground?

Mum Schnee blinked again. "Weiss sweetie..."

"Please please please, mom?"

Weiss leaned over to the couch and hugged Blake to her chest, "If not for Blake, then for me?"

Blake blinked.

Mum Schnee struggled against Weiss's giant wobbly eye for five heroic seconds, before she sighed and closed her eyes and gave in. "Very well- but where are you going on a Wednesday afternoon, Weiss sweetie?"

Weiss stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth and tilted her head and closed the eye that wasn't under her medical eye-patch, "oh, that's a surprise! I cant tell you yet!"

Blake suppressed a shiver.

Mum Schnee made a smile. "Is it the kind of surprise I should be worried about?"

"aren't all her surprises like that?"

"Blaaa~aaakkke~" Weiss whined. She threw her head back and to the side.

Mum Schnee kept her expression straight as she nodded. "Well, yes, but I ask as a formality, and out of the latent hope that this time might be different."

"Mooo~oomm~" Weiss whined. She threw her head back and to the other side.

Weiss then giggled, and refreshed her enthusiasm. "For your information, it's one of those surprises about, how Schnee's see opportunities where other people might see obstacles."

Mum Schnee nodded. "Very well. I will prepare our legal team and some first aid for when you get back."

Blake suppressed a smile.

Weiss smushed her mouth together. "Okay, fine- but then you have to make absolutely sure that Blake doesn't go on the ground!"

"I-"

Weiss was already walking out the door by then. "Okay bye love you both!"

And the door shut.

Mum Schnee glanced at Blake. "Well, I'm sure that won't be hard, seeing as our couches are much more comfortable than the marble."

Blake looked Mum Schnee right in the eyes. Never breaking eye contact, Blake stood up, and walked three steps, and then fell to the floor, on her side, her arms and legs in front of her, Criss crossed.

Mum Schnee glared at her for two seconds, before sighing and standing, and she walked over to where Blake lay and she leaned down, and she held her hands out at around Blake's neck level-

And then she paused and furrowed her brow.

Then she moved her hands about Blake's armpits, then she stopped again before, more quickly this time, moved them to above Bake's waist before bringing her right arm to her chin and her left hand to the opposite elbow.

"I vaguely recall there being correct and incorrect ways to pick up a feline-aspect Faunus..."

Blake blinked.

"But, I guess if it's good enough for Weiss then I'll just do what she does..."

"resigned to being suboptimal, then?" Blake smirked.

Mum Schnee paused. "Well, if I'm going to fail anyway, I might as well fail the way I want to-"

And before Blake could say anything, Mum Schnee grabbed both her ankles and lifted her legs and lower torso in the air.

Blake splayed her arms out for balance and hissed at her tormentor.

Mum Schnee chuckled, and held Blake somewhat-aloft for a few seconds before gently placing her back on the ground.

Blake glared, but didn't otherwise do anything.

And then Mum Schnee grabbed Blake by the armpits and carried her to the couch.

When Blake leaned to the side, Mum Schnee didn't attempt to prop her back up.

A few moments later, Mum Schnee had walked all the way back to the desk.

Blake looked Mum Schnee right in the eyes, but this time the human was more focused on her machine. Never looking away, Blake stood up, and walked three steps, and then fell to the floor, on her side, her arms and legs in front of her, criss-crossed.

Mum Schnee stopped mashing her hands into her machine, and she looked up and glared at Blake for a few seconds longer this time.

She snapped her fingers. Blake was prepared for maids to pick her up carry her, but instead they brought an end table to the left most section of the couch.

And Mum Schnee sighed and stood, and she walked over to where Blake lay and she leaned down, and she picked up Blake by the armpits and deposited her into the middle section of the couch, before taking a seat to the left of her. Another maid placed her portable light box with the clacky buttons onto the table, and Mum Schnee resumed mashing her hands into the button-box as she stared into the attacked glowing rectangle.

Blake blinked.

Blake then looked Mum Schnee right in the eyes, but again, the human was more focused on her machine. Never looking away, Blake stood up-

And then Mum Schnee's arm darted out, to the top of Blake's head, to push her back onto the couch.

Blake fell back to the couch. She blinked.

Mum Schnee seemed occupied with her glowy light box.

Blake tried to stand up faster this time-

But Mum Schnee performed the exact same action, and Blake fell back onto the couch.

Blake tried blocking Mum Schnee's arm with her hands, but it didn't work.

Blake tried to feint, but Mum Schnee didn't move, still intent on mashing her hands into the box and staring into the attached glowing rectangles.

And then Blake tried to do a backwards somersault off the seat of the couch-

But Mum Schnee swept Blake's arms out and then darted under Blake's head to right her back up, so she fell right onto the couch, again.

Blake blinked.

Having decided that escape was impossible, Blake decided to try to resume what she had been doing before the humans intruded upon her.

Blake leaned to the right, so she was lying on the couch. Mum Schnee did nothing.

Blake stretched her legs out, onto the human's lap.

Mum Schnee paused mashing her hands, for only two seconds, before she resumed what she was doing

Blake allowed the light tapping of buttons being pressed to accompany her back into the the sort of half-dreaming sleep you fall into when you try to sleep when you don't physiologically need sleep but want to lie down still with your eyes closed anyway.

And then Blake awoke.

Mum Schnee was till there, mashing her hands into the machine.

Blake sat up.

Mum Schnee didn't react.

Blake yawned and stretched.

Mum Schnee didn't react, again.

Blake crawled up under Mum Schnee's elbow, onto her lap.

"oh- ah-" Mum Schnee said.

Mum Schnee reflexively brought her hands up, and Blake used that opening to crawl up to look at the glowing rectangle that humans spent so much of their time staring into. The pattern of the glows changed, sometimes, and you had to mash your hand into another machine to make them change the way you want to.

Blake was expert enough at this sort of thing to recognize that Mum Schnee was doing stuff with some weird gross human spreadsheets.

Blake started mashing her own hands into the buttons, to make the spreadsheets change in noticeable but incomprehensible ways.

"oh- Blake, no."

Mum Schnee picked her up by the armpits and deposited her back on the couch seat, next to her.

Blake blinked.

Mum Schnee seemed focused. She didn't look at Blake as she continued mashing her hands into the box.

Blake then waited, and when Mum Schnee paused for a moment, Blake pounced back under Mum Schnee's arm and onto her legs. Mum Schnee tensed and flinched, again, and Blake used that opening to get back in front of the button box to start mashing her hands into it.

And Blake felt Mum Schnee's glare into the back of her head.

"What do you think you're doing, Blake?" Mum Schnee deadpanned.

"by feline law, if a faunus prevents a human from accessing the glowing light box for three hours, the box is hers by right. "

Mum Schnee blinked.

"If you want your own laptop, that can be arranged."

Mum Schnee snapped her fingers, and a maid appeared, with another glowy light box. Another small table was brought and place to the right of the existing one, at a place that would be convenient for someone sitting in the middle of the couch.

But Blake was perched in Mum Schnee's lap, and Mum Schnee was sitting at the leftmost part of the couch.

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. "but. i have to earn it..."

Mum Schnee smushed her mouth together, slightly. "Well, I guess I can respect that."

Blake waited to be deposited into the middle of the couch again, but it didn't happen. Mum Schnee just looked at Blake, as if she were expecting Blake to just give up so easy.

So with the ostensible endorsement of Mum Schnee's words and lack of action, Blake continued mashing her hands into the first button-box,

- but then Mum Schnee just leaned to the right, turned on the secondary machine, and started mashing her hands into that machine's buttons.

Blake then noticed that whatever changes she had managed to make to the spreadsheet got reversed, and whenever she mashed her hands into the buttons again, they would very quickly disappear.

Blake looked up at the human. Mum Schnee didn't return the look. She continued mashing her hands at the adjacent glowy light box, at an awkward angle.

Blake looked up at the adult, but Mum Schnee seemed determined to pay her as little mind as possible.

So Blake then leaned over to the right, and intercepted Mum Schnee's hands with her own. She mashed her own way.

Without missing a beat, Mum Schnee started mashing on her original machine. Blake splayed her arms out, one hand on each machine.

Mum Schnee snapped her fingers and a third glowy light rectangle attached to a button pad was brought in, and placed on a table to the left of the original table, in reach from where Mum Schnee sat.

And since Blake only had two hands, she couldn't prevent mum Schnee from mashing her own hands into the third button box.

Blake figured that, with two machines at her fingertips, she could at least mash twice as much as the human, but then Mum Schnee paused, and she mashed a bit, and suddenly, no matter how much Blake mashed her hands into the machine, she was only able to change part of the human spreadsheet.

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side.

- ESLEWHERE -

"Huh," Jacques said, aloud, "There's a lot of new users on our expenditures report..."

The nearby accountant shrugged.

Jaques resumed humming along to the soundtrack of a musical he liked.

- ORIGINALLY WHERE, SOME TIME LATER-

"Yay! Bla~key~!" Weiss called, from somewhere else in the mansion, signalling to everyone that she had returned from her mysterious journey.

Weiss ran into the room and plucked Blake from the couch and smooched her head and hugged her. "Mwah! I missed you so much!"

Blake blinked.

Weiss held Blake out at arms length and looked her in the eyes. "So, did you go on the ground while i was away, Blakey?"

Blake then realized, she could just lie, and say yes, and Weiss would ensure Mum Schnee would feel bad.

Blake looked at Mum Schnee, who kept her face passive, but Blake knew her well enough that this was a sign of nervousness.

"oh. no." Blake said. She decided to take the high road.

"Yaaaaay! See, Blake? You don't go on the ground~" Weiss stated.

Blake blinked.

"And Mom- did you and Blake have fun together, today?"

Mum Schnee's face did a thing. "I suppose that is not an inaccurate statement."

"Yaaaaayyy!" Weiss said. Then she hid a smirk under her fingertips and her eyes narrowed. "Heeheehee, just as planned."

"What was that, Weiss Sweetie?"

"I said, I knew you and Blake would learn to get along!" Weiss said. She waved her arms in the air Then she hugged Blake's head to her chest. Blake allowed it.

"Anyway, Weiss sweetie," Mum Schnee said, "Are you ready to tell us where you went off to? Or is your surprise going to need more time to prepare?"

"Oh!" Weiss said, "Well, you know how you said, that Corporate Mouse Land was just a lie that parents tell their children to get them to behave?"

Blake blinked.

Mum Schnee nodded. "Yes, just like how Justice is a lie that parents tell adults to get them to behave."

Blake nodded.

Weiss winked. "Well, I thought, since so many people wanted it to exist, that I could just make my own corporate mouse land!"

Blake successfully managed to stifle a chuckle. Mum Schnee took a breath. "Oh- how, creative of you, Weiss Sweetie, but, you know, I'm sure there much more efficient uses of your time," Mum Schnee said. She glanced at the wall. "And the staff would love to help you in that endeavor, but it is an especially busy quarter for the company-"

"Oh, that's okay, because I already finished it when you weren't looking!"

Blake blinked.

Mum Schnee blinked.

"You- did what?" Mum Schnee said.

"C'mon, Blakey,- lets go see it, you'll love it! And you can come too, mom," Weiss's face turned neutral, but then she nodded. "I mean, if- if you want."

"I suppose I must," Mum Schnee said. "But give me just one moment, and I'll join you."

Weiss began carrying Blake to the car, spouting some minutia about the logistics of creating a theme park when nobody was looking.

From behind the door behind them, Blake heard mum Schnee make a phone call.

"Pumpkin, prepare our lawyers for war. I'll start funneling our assets into an offshore account in case we need to declare bankruptcy..."

OMAKE:

"Out of curiosity, what do you even want with your own laptop, Blake?" Mum Schnee said.

"watching mouse videos."

"You mean, cat videos?"

"no, those are for humans."

Mum Schnee cogitated. "You mean, Corporate Mouse videos?"

"no, those are for babies."

Mum Schnee glanced at her daughter. "I suppose the evidence supports that claim."

OMAKE 2:

"Now faaaaiiiiir," Weiss whined. "How come Blake gets a laptop but I still have to use a dumb old abacus?"

"Oh Weiss sweetie, don't you know?" Mum Schnee said, "By feline law, if a cat prevents you accessing your computer for three hours, the computer is hers by right."

OMAKE 2.1:

Weiss tilted her head to the side. "Since when do we obey laws?"

-OOO-

With apologies to Raphael Bob-Waksberg for stealing his jokes.